When I return home from work, I prepare dinner. I enjoy cooking so it is not a chore to me. Thomas gets to enjoy the luxury of having dinner ready for him when he comes home from work. After dinner, I get up from the table, leaving all my dishes and trash for Thomas to clean up. He used to to do this at his leisure, but earlier this year I made it a rule that he needs to clean the dining room and kitchen and load the dishwasher immediately after we eat and not at his convenience. Once dinner is done I relax and watch TV or read. I sit in "my chair" which Thomas is not permitted to sit in. In the past I would often do errands at night but now I assign most of those to Thomas. I tell him what errands he needs to do and he obeys without complaint. He has a special errand outfit that he must wear anytime he does errands for me. It consists of a pair of pink silky panties accented with black and pink lace ribbons, a studded strap that goes around the base of his cock, and a butt plug. Anytime I give him an errand to do, he changes into this outfit and then when he returns home, he removes the items and changes back to his normal panties. Errands for him are not an every day thing. Usually just once or twice a week but sometimes for fun, I will give him two separate errands in the same day so that he has to change in and out of the outfit more than once. I just love that he is walking around in public with a plug up his ass. It keeps him in a very submissive mind while he is away from me and certainly keeps him out of trouble. I've noticed that he usually horny after errands.
In the evenings, if time allows, Thomas may watch TV with me. We have a few Netflix and DVR shows that we like to watch together. While watching the shows Thomas will often be folding laundry or starting a new load of laundry. He is 100% responsible for keeping up with all the laundry in the house. Around 9pm I head upstairs to get ready for bed. I lay out my work clothes for the day and take a shower or bath. While I am in the bathroom, Thomas will iron my clothes. Then I am off to bed and Thomas goes downstairs to finish up his nightly duties, which include emptying the dishwasher, letting the dog out, tidying up the house so it looks nice for me in the morning, hand washing his panties, and locking up for the night. Then he quietly slips into bed naked. He is not permitted to wear anything while sleeping.
That is a typical day in my house. As you can see Thomas wakes up before me and goes to sleep after me every day. Most of his day is focused on serving me and it is wonderful. I also enjoy having a clean house every day and not having to lift a finger to do it. Take note that with the exception of errands, he does all these things without being told. On a typical day, I am not standing over him barking orders and criticizing his every move, as many guys fantasize about. That is not a practical or sustainable way of running a WLM. I don't want to spend my day being a bitch. No, I'd rather have him do everything for me without being told and have him pamper and obey me without question and without drama. Guys, that is what women want. That is the life of a Goddess! Also, notice that my typical day does not involve sex. Sorry to bust the fantasy but WLM does not mean you are having lots of sex or that every night I am donning leather and whips and ordering him to worship me. If Thomas is lucky I will give him a "rub" or two during the day just enough to get his arousal going. These rubs are good motivators for him. It's like petting the dog.
Having said all that, there is a definite dominate and submissive dynamic present every day. I tell him things more than ask. He knows what is expected of him and knows that he will be punished or disciplined if he disobeys or does not meet my expectations. Punishments are rare. If I am having to punish him frequently, then there are issues in the relationship. A good obedient slave rarely needs to be punished. I am also very forthcoming with him when I feel he is not meeting expectations, making mistakes or is showing a bad attitude. I keep a very high standard for him. He is open to my criticism and obeys without complaint and accepts punishment or discipline when it is given. On occasion he may get defensive and I immediately point out his defensiveness and he quiets down.
It all sounds so simple, but it took many years for us to get to this place. It was a bit of a roller coaster ride, with lots of ups and downs, but well worth the ride. Nowadays there are lots of ups with very few downs.
Weekends are a different story and there are things that I do to keep the WLM running like a well oiled machine. It does not just happen on its own. I incorporate kink and sexual fun, as you can tell by my posts. It's just not an every day thing. I will write more in my next post.
-Mz Kaylee
This is fantastic! Thanks for sharing your day. I think ours is very similar. For a while, I thought I may have been missing an aspect. Most of the rules and expectations are understood everyday and there's not really communication/orders given by my wife on a day to day basis. I'm simply expected and understand what is to be done and what is acceptable behavior. Of course it's not flawless but it's nothing dramatic. Yes, it definitely took progress to get to this phase but it's almost a typical " normal" day in the way you described. Most of the day is really keeping the house in order and cleaning, serving her.
ReplyDeleteGreat to know it's smooth and roles known similarly here too.
As you mentioned, there's no act or talk of sex on a day to day basis. It only occurs when she requests it. Strangely enough Im not starving or dying for the next sexual session like I used to be. Perhaps the training/discipline. When it happens, as I said, it's a privilege. There are many other ways, more often, day to day, that I'm pleasing her and satisfying her such as cleaning.
Perhaps from the outside, it doesn't look like a dom/sub relationship as opposed to one, that a hubs serves the wife but perhaps the key ingredient.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing, very enlightening!
ReplyDeleteYes, for us there are many things out of the stereotype. For me, orders come as "Would you like to do X?" It costed me some adjustment, but that's the way my Queen likes it.
Also the 'no sex' part is very empowering for Her. It keeps me very attentive. We (personally) know many women that do it really just to please the husband or as a chore, and yes, we are talking about many modern/empowered women. Last week I asked my Queen about a friend that I thought wasn't having sex with her husband. Her reply was "oh, no, she is still under him" underlying that to say "No" you require a lot of power.
Does that mean sex is frequent or infrequent?
DeleteThanks
thanks for sharing .
ReplyDeleteAs someone looking for such a relationship I learn a lot from your blog
It's one of the things I love about your postings Mz Kaylee ... they're real. This is very similar to life in my house.
ReplyDeleteThe following is something is vital IMO:
"I keep a very high standard for him. He is open to my criticism and obeys without complaint and accepts punishment or discipline when it is given. On occasion he may get defensive and I immediately point out his defensiveness and he quiets down."
When a WLM can get to a point in the relationship where this is innate, life is good.
Thank you for another outstanding post about the reality of a beautiful, loving WLM
Mz Kaylee,
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful account of realistic Femdom.
My wife and Owner have also created after many years a routine that is comfortable yet still has strong themes around a WLM our day is actually very much like yours. However we have added a few elements.
I am chaste by word throughout the week and and in a cage all weekend from Friday night until Monday morning. Monday's release is based on the quality and completeness of my service.
Before my wife falls asleep I try to show up in time to kiss her feet each night, and thank her for letting me serve her. I then ask if I can do anything else. Yes I am hoping she will ask me to please her sexually but usually like yourselves if anything is asked it just an additional chore.
Oh and one other thing you may like to try, as it really does make my submissive heart flutter. Sometimes my wife will wait for me to complete a task and then ruin my work. For instance maybe I have just cleaned the stove, she will come along and grab ketchup or something from the fridge and spray it all over the stove and nearby counter (for instance). Sometimes she will say nothing and walk away, other times she will order me to do it again.
I am a very lucky guy :)
Thanks for sharing and offering suggestions. It is great to hear new ideas. I do not use chastity but I have thought about it over the years. I like the idea of locking him up on the weekends or for a short period of time. I may have to give that a try one day. I got a laugh at of her ruining your work. I can see how you guys would love that. Not sure if I would do that; maybe if I am feeling a little cruel one day :) Thanks for the ideas.
DeleteDo you guy play femdom toilet in the relationship?
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing
After a few years go by 95% of "Wife Led Marriage" is just marriage. Thing become normal and routine. Sex, the fantasy that started all this, is only something that stays on my mind, but arrives at her direction. I am not allowed to ask for it, so I am happy when it happens, but it's not something in the forefront of my mind constantly.
ReplyDeleteI do want to share this story. I walk in the house and wife is at the computer and the keys to my cage are laying beside her. Keys she has never told me the location of by the way. I stand next to her waiting as I never interrupt her, waiting is my way of saying I need to talk to her. She finishes up turns to me an says "take the keys and go into the bedroom and get yourself off, right now". I am shocked I say "I haven't given myself an orgasm in over nine years". She replies "I know, and if you can show me the behavior you have in the last three months you may leave the cage off". She continued with " If you slip then back in the cage and probably for good next time". The funny part was everything in my mind says that I was not supposed to be doing this and it took me a long time to come. Suddenly I thought of me beside the bed on my knees begging for an orgasm and I erupted like a volcano. I must have been louder than I thought as when I came out she said " that sounded good, I actually could feel myself blush". After nearly 100 days in a cage 24/7 I am a free man and very much watching my step.
Mike, femdom toilet? Take care- Alan.
Hi Alan
DeleteHow did you feel after the orgasm?
I was given a chance recently as a birthday treat she said if wanted. I hesitated at first. Felt great during but the sub drop after was horrible. I think we agreed thats the last one.
Mike, if your asking about sub drop, I just don't get enough orgasms anymore to get to the point of being sexually satisfied. This is only the second one since June. Our roles are so well defined now I don't think I will have sub drop again. We are a D/s couple now. I am reminded of my submissive status on a regular basis at this point. I can't describe how much she has embraced the dominate role in the past year. Any show of independence on my part has been squashed before it gets started. I truly think we are on the cusp of domestic discipline. At this point it's a little bit scary, but I suppose a little fear of your wife is not a bad thing. Stay safe- Alan
DeleteMike
DeleteThat's great Alan.
I think I've only had one or two as well since June. Maybe it was just me. Like a child never having candy before and then experiencing the sugar rush. It was rather dismantling. Probably better just not to have them. How's the sex life and sub life going?
Mike
I was looking for a strong willed woman when dating. Like looking for a needle in a haystack. You can be honest in a relationship, but that can get you in more trouble than it is worth. When asked what I was looking for in a relationship I said I would prefer the woman take charge, more level headed, handle stress better, said all I felt. Mostly this is not what they wanted to hear, I was honest. The woman I married, well that was wanted she wanted to hear. She proved in while dating, my language and attitude needed to be addressed, she stated firmly I would do as she saids or the relationship was over. When she said I was getting a spanking, I looked, said nothing. She pulled down my pants, underpants, I popped out, she said you wish, over her lap, and I learned then and there a spanking will get my attention. Prior to our marriage visiting her widow mother, I received my second spanking, but thinking it would be private, in the bedroom, her mother walked in, handed her daughter a large hairbrush. Oh she said as she left the room, he will be standing facing the wall in the front room or kitchen, want no rubbing. Sure enough, bare from the waist down, a very red, stinging bottom, I stood facing the wall in the front room. They talked, her mother said to her daughter very nice job. To this day, five years later, the hairbrush is still used, I have a strong marriage, and she prefers when I'm going to need a spanking to call her Mommie, I do. Oh if you want to know if others, there are a few of her close friends, my mother-in-law, and worse of all the lady pastor at our church. Spankings and sitting on hard pews is not good at all. Jack
ReplyDeleteHi Jack
DeleteHer mom saw you nude?
Any other aspects of the marriage she knows?
My mother-in-law taught her daughter husbands need a firm hand. I have learned that women could care less about seeing a naked male. She knows pretty much everything, mother and daughter bond is very tight, I have no problem with that at all. When being spanked, no matter if my mother-in-law is present or not, I plead with 'Mommy' I will be good and I've learned my lesson, she continues until she knows I've learned my lesson. Dancing around, is the norm afterwards, facing the wall is always. The one aspects she has not told her mother, is Pajama Punishment, meaning having to wear my Pajamas after the spanking, the rest of the day, no matter how early in the day, early bed time, and recently she purchased little boy jammies, where she found them, that would fit I do not know, but feel like a naughty little boy wearing them, the sore spanked bottom helps.
DeleteHello, Mz Kaylee. You have mentioned that Thomas is allowed very few orgasms and also that he is not locked in any way. I am curious if Thomas is aroused in your presence most of the time and has learned to accept or enjoy it, or if he has been trained or trained himself to only be aroused when you desire it? Based on my own experience, it would be extremely difficult to not be highly aroused when getting naked in my wife’s bed after performing an evening of service.
ReplyDeleteWell he is pretty much horny most of the time. It does not take much for me to get him fully aroused. If I take a strict tone with him, order him to do something, or tease him about something, his arousal gets going. I would imagine that like most guys, he fantasizes a lot during the day and gets aroused from that. I don't think it has anything to do with training. It just a natural response from being teased and denied regularly.
DeleteYes, I'm curious too.
ReplyDeleteI'm horny usually but not aroused typically unless called upon when needed.
Dear Mz Kaylee and other fellow readers,
ReplyDeleteI am Mark and I am 31 years old. I am living in Hong Kong. I am a submissive since teenage but fetishism is rare and minority in HK. People are mainly conservative and I have rare chance to participate D/S in real life. I discover I am submissive via internet . I met my wife in university and we married after seven years. We married for four years and we have a 3 years old son.
I revealed my submissive nature to her when we have dated for around two years. She didn’t refused it but also not interested in it. I tried to share D/S information to her but she has not much response. I thought the situation maybe better after years at that time and I was not dare to break up just because she was not interested in D/S. I thought it is not so important at that time.
However , as the submissive here may know, the submissive character is life long and it is not easy to just quit it from your life. During the last few months I keep doing housework and try to please her as much as I can. I hinder my temper and told her I could devote myself for her comfortable. Indeed she also know i am a submissive for long and she also know my desire since I introduce a lot to her. However I am failed to motivate her to become a dominant (or at least a chaos slave user).
I tried to do the chaos without asking for any rewards. However when I talk about D/S , she just ignore it and skip the message and have no response. I tried to keep my mind on not asking for rewards, but it is quite frustrating not to receive any dominant response.
Do you guys face any difficulties in finding your dominant? What should I do to find a dominant? What wrong with me in expressing my submissive state ? Please feel free to comment and give me suggestions. Thank you so much.
Regards,
Mark
Just curious, Mark. If she wasn’t interested in Femdom before you got married then what made you think she would be interested in it after marriage?
DeleteMany guys do not fully understand their need for submission until after they are married. This is very common. Just because she was not into it previously, does not mean she will not give it a try. I am a perfect example of that.
DeleteThank you for your reply. In the past, I doubt that if submission is a must in my life. Just because I wasn’t sure I should give up a relationship because she doesn’t interested in D/S. However, I feel it is necessary. The situation now is that she even not give it a try. It is really frustrating.
DeleteI think all you can really do is treat her like a Goddess. Pamper her and do most of the housework. Be romantic. Take her out on the town. Let her lead the relationship and make decisions for the both of you. Obey her decisions without any criticism even if she makes a mistake. Be totally supportive. If you do something wrong then you can playfully suggest that you need to be punished. Let her choose the punishment. Even if it is more chores. I’m sure Mz Kaylee can give you many more ideas than I can. Good luck, Mark.
DeleteGood suggestions Frank. Focus on the things she likes and sell her on the idea that you will work hard to make all those things happen for her. Let her know what is in it for her (it has to be something she wants. Trust me, having control of you is not what she wants right now. For some reason, guys think that their wives are going to love that idea but most wives really don't care about that.) Ask if she would be willing to experiment with being dominant, just for fun. Stay away from talking about being a permanent submissive to her. Start off with just fantasy play. See if she would be willing to try something dominant with you one day a month just for fun. This may get her comfortable with the idea. If she is not willing to give it a try then you are at cross roads and have to have a heart-to-heart talk with her and be very direct. Tell her how important it is to you and ask her why she is not considering it. Perhaps she is scared at what it means. Share articles from my blog or other blogs but stay away from the kinky or more extreme topics. I wish more women understood that having a submissive husband is a great thing.
DeleteThank you Frank and Mz Kaylee for sharing your experience. It sounds applicable to begin the dominant play sometime just for fun. Indeed, I popped up with the idea to give in D/S before, however it made me emotionally depressed. Cheers
DeleteOne of the things that worked for me was massaging my wife's feet. Making it clear how much I enjoyed doing it and then constantly reinforcing the point how much more enjoyable it was for me if and when she requested it or better still, ordered me to do it.
DeleteAnother tip was getting her to read blogs. I did this just sending her links of what I had been reading as I know she is nosy.
We have had a few blow outs too when I have stormed off in frustration and sometimes a few weeks of tension. Sometimes it is worth being honest with your feelings.
But little by little we have got there and my wife who was as vanilla as vanilla can be, now likes to be called 'Mistress' and thinks nothing of tying me to the bed and giving me a thorough caning if I should displease her.
Our 28th Wedding anniversary is in a few months.
Great article Mz Kaylee! Thank you for sharing the details of a typical day in your WLM. I'm curious about What kinds of things do you say, if anything, to Thomas while you're giving him a "rub"? Do you ever say humiliating things to him? Or do you praise him and tell him you appreciate his service?
ReplyDelete-Lady Di
Usually I am telling him that he is doing a good job. Sometimes I will tell him other things that I need him to do or may even tell him that he needs to do something better. I am not real big on verbal humiliation. Every now and I then I will do some light humiliation, teasing him how he is girlie or telling him how weak he is. I do it more to get a rise out of him.
DeleteDoes anyone have a clue if Ms Kathy if Femdom101 is OK? She hasn't posted since July 4, she didn't answer emails and that's not typical of her. I'm worried something happened to her
ReplyDeleteShe did say in her last post that she would become active again in the future, but that she had lost interest at the moment. I really hope that she comes back or hands it over to Becky. I really think that her blog was the turning point for my wife when I started having her read Ms Kathy's entries. In the beginning "Think Tank" was even too far for her to imagine. My wife thinks a lot like Ms Kathy. Men get themselves into trouble, best to head the problems off before they start. She limits my access to money, time, and sexual gratification and it keeps me a loving and devoted husband. I really hope that her last entry wasn't a good bye. Take care- Alan
DeleteThank you for your blog Mz Kaylee. It is so helpful for my Lady and I to know that other people really do live lives like this. Hopefully someday we will meet other couples in our area of south eastern Vermont.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I don't think gets stressed enough is that like any long term relationship it requires love, trust and respect by both partners. I will do anything for my lady but I never have the slightest doubt that she love and respects me. The other comment I have is that kink is not a requirement in a FLR but it does serve a purpose. You do it right with Thomas. Him being in a uniform requires no work from you but keeps his mind on you. Kinks seem to be closely related to humiliation. Where as Thomas probably doesn't mind wearing panties,(nor do I) it would be very embarrassing if any one else found out. I don't know why it works but it does. When my lady has me service her with my tongue everywhere and I do mean everywhere, I think it is a bit humiliating but I also definitely get excited.
Thank you again for your wonderful blog.
Sharlee
Very compliments Miss Kaylee, i'm italian spankee, great admirer women authority. My passion is designeer, my drawings is visible on my blog at is address: http://lumasoc.blogspot.com I apologize for my bad english.
ReplyDelete