Please enjoy this guest post by John Dalton. In his post John formulates several opinions, drawing on his personal experiences with WLM. I appreciate his well thought out post and I look forward to the ensuing discussion from all of you. -Mz Kaylee
I am sure most readers of this blog are men longing for female authority in their life. Some would disagree but I am convinced that all men are born with this desire but it takes time and experience with the right woman to come to terms with this need. Unfortunately, due mostly to socialization and the general nature of women it is very unlikely that a women will ever consider dominance as a means to attract the attention of men . This is very unfortunate as a dominant presence is much more effective than all the typical adornments that women apply in their efforts to attract male attention.
As enlightened men, we often look for ways to entice the women in our lives to become more dominant. This may work for a moment but we forget that women are very intuitive and quickly see that the cheese is part of the trap . Typically the “ cheese “ in most new Female Led relationships seems to start out with the man taking on more household duties and allowing the woman to have more time to luxuriate in her new found place of authority. The energy of this dynamic usually fades over time because the cheese comes with a whole new list of responsibilities to fulfill his desire for submission. She may not be scrubbing the floors now but she is still serving his needs and desires .
It is my opinion that the paradigm shift that Mz Kaylee so eloquently describes is like an awaking or new perspective that occurs at the core of the relationship. As the woman matures and truly understands the empowering concepts of a WLM/FLR she begins to relax in her authority and channel the energy away from his desires to hers. Odd as it may seem, most men experience their own paradigm shift at this point and find the terms of the new relationship even more fulfilling. The fantasy play of the past is replaced with an application of authority and direction that serves her desires and actually adds practical value to her daily life. The cheese is now on a silver platter and elegantly served according to her desires.
If we look deeper into the elements of this change I believe many women and therefore couples often abandon the concept of a WLM at the edge of the paradigm shift. The unknown of the abyss is scary because intuitively she knows that there can be no return to the traditional concepts of marriage. Everything she values in love and relationship is on the line with only a promise of a new beginning that is counter to everything she has been taught.
It is at this juncture, a place she has likely retreated from many times before, that she realizes that there is no return to the normalcy of a traditional relationship. The experiences and vivid memories of what she thought was only sexual play have become part of their intimate bond and cannot be undone. His deep and before hidden desires of submission have been laid bare while she has experienced the often confusing but very real effects of power and control in the relationship. All pretense of equality is gone as she realizes that her authority goes far beyond play. Her fear and instincts tell her to run but the door is closed to the patriarchal ways of the past. Whether chosen or sought , the paradigm shift has become real for both. He is no longer a husband but rather a willing and dedicated servant to the woman he cherishes. If he expects to be her lover he will have to earn that privilege daily. She has become all powerful and has forever put aside any ideas of service to her husband. The privileges of an empowered woman are likely far from her visions of love and marriage but in some mysterious way it seems like she has come home to a truth she has always known. Her confidence grows as she begins to understand that her power is no longer given and therefore cannot be taken away. His submission to her is still a choice but his love and desire for her is now ten fold . His source of happiness and contentment are found in service to her. This is an age old concept that is found in virtually every part of our marriage culture but remains taboo in the traditional sense of relationship . Men are only allowed to give service to their wife as part of the “ happy wife , happy life “ excuse .
I believe the paradigm shift is part of a life changing transformation that goes beyond the confines of the relationship. Younger women with less socialization to the concepts of a patriarchal society find this transition much less difficult while older women struggle and may never find the courage or even desire to complete the transition. I was encouraged to write this post after reading lady Di’s comments about her struggles as she approaches the paradigm shif . I think all women experience the same issues and are confused as they approach the cross over point. She may be convinced that a FLR/WLM is truly the way forward but in real life it still remains awkward and challenging . I would liken this to a Women that suddenly realizes that she has won a trip to England . This has always been a dream ! She is filled with excitement until she finds the voucher for her car rental. Her dream vacation turns into a nightmare as she considers driving in strange places on the wrong side of the road! England sounds beautiful but not if she has to drive!
Power in the relationship might have been something that she struggled to obtain but not something that she ever imagined would be laid at her feet. The struggle for power and control is something all couples deal with in marriage and relationships. The paradigm shift enables her to approach problems and challenges from a new perspective .The dominance of play becomes part of her demeanor as she realizes that a dominant presence has value in everyday life . Like the afore mentioned woman that won the trip to England , the fear and dread of driving fades as she considers that there are hundreds of handsome young men living in England that would find great privilege in driving her around the city! As an empowered woman the solution is there but she has to overcome the meekness and fear that comes with change.
The point of my rambling is to encourage women to boldly embrace the paradigm shift. The man that introduced her to this lifestyle may initially reject the new and powerful woman she has become but his rebellion will quickly fade as his submissive desires take control . Like her ,he will experience the paradigm shift as he falls deeply into a submission that is complete and is no longer based on his fantasy but rather the fulfillment of her desires . This can be a very contentious point in the transition and not a place couples should linger. The woman must establish her place of authority with straightforward changes that move the relationship away from the sexual play of dominance to real life demands and expectations. Going back to lady Di’s comments , it is not the application of more dominant sexual play that will raise his commitment to the principles of a WLM/FLR but rather the maturing of her authority that is presented with an unyielding expectation of obedience and adoration. If he chooses to be disobedience than he will do so at the loss of fulfilling his most urgent need of submission . The threat of loosing her or at the minimum a return to the principles of a vanilla relationship will motivate him far more than new or harsher disciplines. I am not trying to suggest that dominant play should be removed from a mature FLR/WLM but as the paradigm shift occurs it should become an outward expression of her dominance rather than the foundation or means of her authority. Her power and control should no longer be based on role play and will not be contained to the confines of the relationship. As her confidence grows so will her dominant presence. Her life perspective will change as she realizes that as part of the paradigm shift, she is no longer the property of her husband but rather he has become her property. Seemingly a minor play on words but very powerful when acknowledged in the contents of marriage.
I often find that I have a deeper perspective into the principles of dominance and submission and tend to overthink the subject. I am truly intrigued by the WLM/FLR lifestyle and the amazing positive effects it can have on a relationship . I am certain my comments will be met with question especially from a pragmatic perspective. I hope to provoke positive thought and conversation that will motivate women to boldly approach the paradigm shift with the knowledge that what has already began cannot be undone.This is very heart felt subject and one that my wife and I have experienced. She has approached the paradigm shift many times over the years only to retreat back to the perceived security of a traditional relationship. Over time ,the reality, truth and happiness become hard to deny and we find ourselves adapting to the principles of a WLM once again. It is my hope that someday we can mature and finally reach the other side. Either way, she is my only love and if we reach this goal it will be together.
Take care
John Dalton
Wow, it is like you have been observing my relationship. My wife was so tentative and awkward for years. I'm sure thinking she would push too far and the whole thing would collapse. It is a far cry from interacting with your spouse in a traditional manner to treating them more like an employee. Once she finally took the baton and took the lead she has never looked back. It has become the norm now and there is no question that things will never be the same. For me it was like finding that perfect pair of gloves or shoes. It is like I finally found what I had been looking for all these years. True happiness. Ladies don't be shy to push that final step, it may be what you are both looking for. Take care- Alan
ReplyDeleteSo good! This sum things nicely and accurately. Thank you Mz Kaylee for posting this and thank John Dalton for writing it. There was an epiphany for my Mistress K. and when the comfort in her leadership washed over her, her whole life changed for the better and of course so did our relationship.
ReplyDeleteThank you sub hub ! “The comfort in her leadership washed over her” . The comment is very good description of what I say as my wife ......if only for a short time. Her confidence soared and her outlook on life completely changed for the better.
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
It was coming out in the beginning of the relationship, not me but her. She said from past relationship she allowed the male to do as please, she had enough, she was setting the rules and the punishment. I agreed, admitted I was looking for a woman to take charge. Been married five years, could not have asked for a better wife, and yes I'm spanked. The first was a month after meeting, give the choice of ending the relationship or take a spanking. I felt little over her lap, my bare bottom feeling the sting of her hand. I thought she was done, told me to stand up, she left the room, came back with a hairbrush, told me to remove the pants, and underpants, both around my ankle, I did, and boy did I learn what a spanking really was. It holds true to today, a bath brush replaced the hairbrush, thanks to my mother-in-law. Always over the lap, always bare bottom, either naked or pants and underpants just pulled down. Does not matter if my mother-in-law is present, or if facing the wall and someone drops in, I stay facing the wall, the spanking continues. The worse part of it all, I must address my wife as Mommy when being spanked and afterwards until told otherwise. The marriage is strong, the sex life is great, the financial is really, really, good, thanks to 'Mommy', could not ask for anything more, maybe a thicker pillow to sit on and less wall facing time. Jack
ReplyDeleteGreat read
ReplyDeleteCan you give some examples how these concept play an applicable role in the relationship?
I tend to spend to much, get an attitude, want my way, or as my wife states, just wanting to be a pain at times. My wife knew of my past dating, my way with women, how I got away with alot. She also knew I was looking for some control in my life. I get so much rope, then she takes charge. My life is so much better, enjoying it more, this is the only way I can explain. Wives know their husbands better than the husbands knows himself. Jack
DeleteThank you John for your post. Your description of the paradigm shift is spot on. I am glad to see that others are getting this concept. It’s not easy to achieve but having a basic understanding of what it is, is a good step towards getting there. As your writing describes, it is often difficult for women to make that shift. For me the hurdle to get over was not fear or concern about not turning back. I’ve never felt that if I went one direction, I could never turn back. Although now that I am here, I don’t want to turn back 😊. Your analogy about the nightmare vacation was not my experience at all. Perhaps some women experience this but I would say if a woman feels that way, it is because the guy is putting too much pressure on her to serve his needs, which is definitely a barrier to a successful WLM. The hurdle for me was mostly not knowing what to do and not having the right skill set or knowledge to cross the threshold. Embedded in all that is not having the mindset to know that I needed to shift the way I think. Hence, the reason it is called a paradigm shift.
ReplyDeleteReturning to your vacation analogy, what I did relate to is the nervous feeling of navigating a foreign country. It’s intimidating and confusing at first but as you implied, confidence and empowerment builds overtime. That is what the WLM journey was like for me. There are many reasons why a women and guys struggle to advance in a WLM. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience on the topic.
I think the new roles doesn't necessarily encounter fear but takes time to grasp how to utilize it's benefits. At least thats how it presented itself with us.
ReplyDeleteAlso,I don't think a wlm is for everyone, nor are all women dominant or desire to be. I'm sure there are many successful relationships that operate much differently.
In any regard, I think the relationship at some point becomes like a basketball team ( in some ways). Always continuously moving, knowing where to be without being told and being supportive.
It's not so much " work" vs daily life meeting each other's expectations. I think thats a good standard referring to being successful. 2 people on a journey, on the same page.
Excellent stuff!
I enjoy the comments and the different perspectives . Thank you. I guess in simpler terms we are all trying to find acceptance for this new and different lifestyle that is very different from what we have know in the past ! I truly do not understand the deep and incredible closeness that we have experienced but I know that living in a “ normal “ relationship is almost impossible once you experience the joy and happiness of a FLR. I find the idea of a paradigm shift to be intriguing because as some of the comments indicate it is a time of real change and perspective that many find to be quite dramatic.
ReplyDeleteTake care
John Dalton
Mike- I liked led your last comment. Great observations an spot on!
ReplyDeleteJohn- Yes, The deep and incredible closeness is amazing.
I think that if a woman doesn’t submit to, obey, and respect a man in the bedroom then there is no way she will obey or respect him in any other area of their relationship. Most women desire and need the leadership and protection of a strong man. That’s just how it is.
ReplyDelete> "That’s just how it is."
DeleteYou want it to be, but reality is different from your reactionary fantasies.
Most women today prefer a relationship of equality. In this blog, we discuss Femdom relationships.
I think you shouldn't write this nonsense here. You are simply living in fantasies about reactionary gender roles.
Speaking of nonsense, in what ways are femdom relationships equal? LOL
DeleteI did not write that femdom relationships are equal. I wrote that most women today prefer equal relationships. Then I wrote that specifically in this blog they discuss femdom relationships.
DeleteI did not write that this blog shows most of the relationship. This is obviously not the case.
I'm scratching my head reading your comment Frank. It is the complete opposite of other things you comment on. I agree with Aprem that it is complete nonsense and I am a little surprised by it.
DeleteHummmm............... I remember making a previous comment a few post back suggesting that we have two Franks posting. Either way, I find his comment to be appropriate given the subject of my post. Frank stated that he believes “that if a woman doesn’t submit to, obey, and respect a man in the bedroom then there is no way she will obey or respect him in any other area of their relationship. Most women desire and need the leadership and protection of a strong man. That’s just how it is.”
DeleteThis is actually very true and goes back to the purpose of writing “ The Cheese “ . Frank is describing what MOST women ( not all) indeed look for in a man . She may be strong, very independent and very much in control of her life while still clinging to the traditional values and principles of romance and marriage . To me this is the very basis of the paradigm shift. As crazy as it may seem , most women entertain the man’s fantasies of submission out of her submission and obligation to please him . The shift occurs when she realizes that in a FLR/WLM it takes a strong , protective and secure man to enter into a relationship of submission to her . He is letting go of the age old ideas of masculinity because he knows in his heart that their lives will be better under her control . A man should never become weak or lose his masculinity in a FLR/WLM but rather the woman must acknowledge her natural position of power while coming to terms with his natural desires to serve the woman of his heart . Her husband can still be the strong protective man of her dreams but after the paradigm shift she is simply in control .
If what Frank presented worked , the divorce rate would not be over 50%. Women would actually find martial bless in submission to their husbands. Yes, some women do but I have found that most are stuck somewhere in the middle longing to be in control while still holding onto the traditional principles that Frank presented. The paradigm shift is the point that she realizes that his offer of submission is the key to her happiness.
If you read back over “ The Cheese “ with Franks comments in mind the purpose of my rambling becomes clear . My wife is the very woman Frank describes but as a confident and powerful woman the principles just do not fit !
Take care
John Dalton
> "still clinging to the traditional values and principles"
DeleteWhere have you seen these women? I live in Russia, but most of the women of my generation deny traditional gender roles. Most of the women of my generation want equality relationships, and I know only a few women who seek traditional relationships. They are clearly not the majority of women.
LOL Aprem , Russian woman always seem to be portrayed as cold and strong! Maybe I need to seek a Russian wife ! I think you comment goes back to the issue with American women . They seem to be stuck in the middle between the past and present . Yes they are strong and most deny traditional gender roles but still expect the man to be both dominant and masculine in attracting their attention . Hence the struggle with the paradigm shift.
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
Maybe this was a generation ago, but I communicate with many American women and men of my generation and they no longer look at the old gender roles. In the past, there may have been such expectations, but this clearly does not apply to my generation.
DeleteJohn, I agree with pretty much everything you say, except I believe that the man can still be the leader in the relationship today. We both know that true leadership is not dominating or controlling your partner. The best leaders are the ones who serve their families and are responsible for their well being. In doing this he enjoys their love and respect and yes, submission. If a man enjoys being submissive to his partner then that is fine. It doesn't mean he is any less of a leader or less deserving of respect. From what I have seen in this blog the men here are all leaders because they take care of their families.
DeleteAprem, what age or generation are you speaking of ? Frank , leadership belongs to the woman in a FLR ..... hence a Female Led Relationship. You can choose to lead or follow but you cannot do both at the same time. The value of a FLR is found in the clear and present dominance of the woman . She my not be dominating or controlling her husband in a demeaning way but she is in control. Without her dominance and his submission I cannot see any value in a WLM /FLR .
DeleteJohn Dalton
Well, I'm 24 years old. I think the same applies to those who are a little older than me.
DeleteAprem, I am much older than you. I also find , women of your generation to be less inclined to hold onto the old gender roles of the past .I wonder if their modern view of equality in the relationship will also act as a barrier in accepting the principles of a FLR ? I also wonder if women of your generation might inwardly still be drawn to the masculine traits of the past even adding more confusion to the equation. I think men are pretty confused at this point as to defining who they are ! I would council men of your age to embrace and admire the strength of the modern woman while striving to become a confident and successful man in your own right. It is not uncommon in America today for the woman to become the main breadwinner of the household. The challenge in the relationship is how both partners will adapt to the what had been a reverse power dynamic in the past. I think most younger men of today are accepting the new role but are losing their identity in the process . I think even younger woman that have become the dominant partner in the relationship still need and expect the man to be strong, decisive and capable in his role of supporting her.
DeleteLol this is a complicated subject for sure but I think the answer lies in the principles of a FLR/WLM . The principles can apply to a young couple just starting out or an old couple looking for a way to add love and harmony back to their relationship.
Take care
John Dalton
> "I wonder if their modern view of equality in the relationship will also act as a barrier in accepting the principles of a FLR ?"
DeleteI think yes. Most women I know have a negative view of relationships that have inequality. Not all, but most for sure.
And you, too, take care of yourself, it was nice to talk to you.
Very nice hearing from you too ,especially since you are on the other side of the world in a much different culture. I look forward to your comments in the future !
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
:)
DeleteTo be honest, Mz Kaylee, I don’t really care if you or Aprem disagree with my opinions. I think everyone is entitled to their opinions and I try not to judge others. There are some views here I don’t agree with. I respect that this is your blog, Mz Kaylee. If you are only open to views that agree with yours then feel free to block me.
ReplyDeleteAre you not the Frank that commented in the last post that you are happy under the pretty feet of a woman and that women are superior to men? I am confused by these mixed messages.
DeleteFemdom is fun as a role playing bedroom game. In real life the man must lead the relationship and the woman should submit to his authority. I have only found one woman who could make me obey her. She was incredibly intelligent and confident and dominant. The rest are wannabes.
DeleteFrank, for some (like me and Mistress K.) it IS real life. For others, like you it seems, it's fun roleplay, and that's ok. To each our own, right?
Delete"In real life the man must lead the relationship and the woman should submit to his authority"
DeletePlease explain Why?
Believe me, a wife can lead the relationship just fine. Mine is doing a brilliant job at it. This is no role playing game in this house. Let her shut off your access to money and orgasms and you will find it very easy to submit to her will. John is probably correct that most women don't want this, but I believe it is becoming more common. I think that in my situation the fact that it is real and not some bedroom game is what makes it work so well. Stay safe- Alan.
DeleteThis male was not looking for WLM, just looking for a woman who stood her ground. Mid 20's found such a woman, she respected me because I respected her. Two months into the relationship she brought up some of my behavior, and my attitude, and came right out and said she did not care to date a child. I said nothing at first, and that was good. She smiled and said that when she babysitted, such behavior brought a spanking. I looked at her, and she said have you been spanked as an adult. I finally admitted an older woman I was seeing gave me a sound spanking. She dropped the subject, I improved, but messed up a month or so later. She was standing in the bathroom when I stepped out of the shower, a hairbrush in her hand, and I soon was getting a spanking, a wet bottom spanking. We are married, the spanking continue, it is a FLM as she sternly states, I accept, want, and found the true meaning of a FLM, or WLM, or WLM, no matter how you put it, the marriage is strong. Jack
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn other news, after a year in the guest room my wife is now allowing me to sleep in "her bed" again...
ReplyDeleteYay! Let's hear some details Tim?!
ReplyDeleteWell, to use her words she all of a sudden has been "needing attention" in the middle of the night and would rather have me on hand than in another room. We'll see how long this lasts! It's been tough attending to her and then being told to cuddle/spoon without bothering/poking her "down there" (that's what got me booted in the first place). Needless to say I'm operating on almost no sleep the past 48 hours!
DeleteGood for you Tim. Now you need to exercise control and be super gracious to your wife 🙂
DeleteThat's good advice Tim from Kaylee
DeleteThanks everyone. It feels nice sleeping "with" my again, lol. That said she still expects me to get up earlier (without waking her) to start housework. Coupled with the extra time spent attending to her needs, foot massages at the end of the bed until she falls asleep, etc., I'm getting much less sleep. Hopefully I can make this work!
DeleteJohn - You lost me in your explanation of Frank’s comment. I am dismissing his comments as fodder but I know you are better than that. On what basis do you assume that most women seek men for leadership and protection? If I want protection then I’ll hire a body guard and when a woman is dating I don’t think she is thinking I need this guy to be my leader. You guys are way off base here. Even before my WLM I would say this.
ReplyDeleteHello Mz Kaylee.
DeletePlease know that the following comments are presented with the greatest respect .
I also dismiss Frank’s comments as fodder because they are disrespectful and completely inappropriate given the nature and subject of this blog. There are many male dominated / female submissive blogs that his opinions would be welcomed. I would suggest that he respect our core values of a FLR/WLM or move on to another blog that shares his core beliefs.
To understand the basis for my comments I think you first have to consider that you simply do not fit the category or norm of the majority of women in today’s word. That is why we adore you and impatiently wait on each new post . My comments reflect the challenge submissive men deal with in finding a woman like you.
Unfortunately, I am time pressed and cannot address this subject completely. I will add more thought latter.
Take care
John Dalton
John and others, I appreciate the respectful discussion and welcome different view points. What I take issue with is that notion that most women are seeking a guy to be THEIR leader and a guy to submit to and obey. A guy who IS a leader and a guy who can protect his woman are great traits that are attractive to women but there are many other traits that she is looking for. Here is a quote from a Psychology Today article that sums it up well: “Women don’t need partners who invest all their energy in trying to prove how strong, manly, masculine, macho, or heroic they are. They just want men who are willing to meet them where they are and treat them fairly and equitably — and are able to make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning.”
Deletehttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201806/15-things-women-want-the-men-in-their-lives#:~:text=Women%20need%20men%20to%20show,considerate%20of%20each%20other%27s%20feelings.
Mz Kaylee I think the difference between you and John my very well be generational. When I was a young man societal norms were much more restrictive then they are today. My Mother was the normal submissive wife of the 40's and 50's. I think she honestly was looking for a man to lead and take care of her, but remember women's lib hadn't happened at that time. I look at my daughter two generations later and I see a strong independent women that want's to lead and expects her husband to follow. So to say that most women are looking for a man to lead was probably true 60 years ago. Today I see a whole generation of women that are well suited for WLM. Also I grew up in a time that men were raised to think we were supposed to lead and dominate our wives. A couple of generations ago standing out from the crowd was a bad thing. Take care-Alan.
DeleteHello Allan.
DeleteI appreciate your comments and agree completely . Generationally speaking women are changing and becoming the dominant force in our society . This is evident in all parts of our culture .Like you I have three daughters that have graduate degrees , great jobs and expect their husbands to follow. Without going into details they have expectations like the women Mz Kaylee presented in the excerpt from the Psychology Today article. So yes, I am very aware of the societal changes and I applaud the great strides woman are making in their quest for equality. The point I am trying to make is that even the strong independent women of today still struggle moving from the new social norm of equality in relationships to an actual WLM/FLR .
My wife and I have lived in a relationship of equality for the past 10 years . At times we have found great happiness and harmony as she has applied the principles of a FLR . Unfortunately this only last for short periods of time as she always drifts back into what is what she perceives to be normal and right . Sadly as we become “ normal and right “ the excitement and closeness of our relationship fades and before long we find that we are living as two strangers sharing a home . We don’t fight or disagree but we have no passion or energy in our relationship. This is very hard to accept after living in the incredible closeness that we experience in a FLR.
It is the underlying current of social norms that women struggle with in accepting a FLR that I am speaking of . This is why I find the point of the paradigm shift to be so crucial. This is when a woman let’s go of the past and looks to the future. What Frank presents is truly the past , this blog is all about the future!
Take care
John Dalton
Alan -So true about the generations. A very good point. Of course, as we now know, it was not right to assume all women should submit to their husband or that all men should dominate their wife so it is not acceptable and frankly offensive for someone to take that view today.
DeletePreaching to the choir, Mz Kaylee.- Alan
DeleteMy apologies. Technical issues.
ReplyDeleteI cannot understand how Frank might consider an FLR as anything but that. I, personally need to know that my Queen is driving. She makes the rules and i follow them. End of discussion. Is that not the natural order?
Mz Kaylee, your awesome posts generate so much interest that with nearly 50 comments, it's hard to keep track of who is responding to who and about what.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work Kaylee .... and thank you for what you do here.
Yes, great discussions. It would be nice if Blogger had a forum capability
DeleteMz Kaylee.
ReplyDeleteMy comments were in regard to what women find attractive in a man rather than how women are actually living and working in today’s world. Your excerpt from the Psychology Today article sums it up well: “Women don’t need partners who invest all their energy in trying to prove how strong, manly, masculine, macho, or heroic they are. They just want men who are willing to meet them where they are and treat them fairly and equitably — and are able to make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning.” The key word is “ need “ rather than desire. Practically speaking this is a great description of what a woman needs to be happy and successful in the modern world . However, It has been my experience that a woman’s desires are often very different from her needs . Given what the the author of the Psychology Today has written, I would love to hear his explanation as to why nearly every woman in America rushed out to buy the “Fifty Shades of Grey” book and then could not wait until the movie came out the following year.
No, I do not believe or support the idea that women are seeking a guy to be THEIR leader and a guy to submit to and obey “ but I do believe there is an underlying and sometimes hidden reluctance in women to accept the principles of a FLR/WLM . I think this reluctance is based on the traditional norms that have influenced her almost from birth. This is what I was trying to address with “ The Cheese” along with my comments about the paradigm shift.
Going back to the Psychology Today article “ and are able to make sure the romantic fires keep burning “ Can someone coach me on exactly how that is done? Lol
Take care
John Dalton
Lol! Well guys have been drooling over porn all their lives so for the some reason Fifty Shades of Grey became the accepted porn for women that they could watch without guilt. I totally agree with the reluctance you describe and I think your response to Alan on 12/10 is spot on. WLM/FLR is most definitely one way to keep the romantic fire burning. I also think it's important for couples to regularly plan time doing things with each other (without friends/family).
DeleteI experience something similar in my wife. For years she held the tenants of WLM at arms length, like she would ruin everything if she pushed too hard. One day, about a year ago, after a bit of a spat she said "this is unacceptable I am going to punish you". Since that day she has never wavered and like you there is a feeling of intimacy and closeness that is hard to describe. I do see your point between want and need for a women. It may explain how many of these types of relationships end up in cuckold situations. Your example of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" certainly played out that way in my house. I was sexually attacked several times and my wife just about wore out her vibrator by the time the third volume came out. Smart comments John. - Alan
ReplyDeleteAlan, I have always hated the word “ cuckold “ because it has pornographic connotations that I do not believe should be associated with a WLM/FLR . However I do believe that as women matures in a WLM/FLR she will likely become confident in asserting her right to see other men as part of the natural dynamic. It is difficult for most to understand how this could happen even in a FLR/WLM without destroying the marriage but given the duplicity of a woman’s needs and desires it seems almost inevitable to me. Wrapped up in submission most men understand that there is a part of his wife that he can no longer satisfy . This realization is part of his paradigm shift as he becomes aware that she is no longer his possession. He experiences an even deeper submission as as she finds pleasure in the arms of another man. This is an incredible expression of her power that is daunting for the man to experience but I believe life changing for the woman.
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
I am not a fan of the word or the concept. It's probably my biggest fear at this point. If she ever had the want of an alpha male I know that I am unable to fulfill that role. She sees me as the beta now. She has seen me in so many vulnerable and humiliating situations that the time that I could even fake the aggressive male lover has past. I do notice that she is more attuned to other males than she used to be. Often making suggestive comments about men on TV or men we see in our travels. Like a lot of things in the WLM world I am never really sure if something is happening or it's something I just taking notice of now. What scares me the most is that I know her so well now that my suspicions are rarely wrong. You really are insightful.- Alan
DeleteAlan, I have experienced the same fear and emotions that your describing . My wife is by nature very vivacious and flirty . In truth this is a big part of my attraction . There was a time when she seemed to to be very close to actuality making the paradigm shift and embracing her role as the authority in our relationship . She started to really enjoy the freedom form the household choirs but the biggest change was in her demeanor. Her confidence soared and she started noticing how other men were becoming aware of her dominant presence. I had experienced the pain of infidelity in my previous marriage and I did not want to deal with the elements of deceit that had found so painful in my past relationships . I openly stated a dialogue with her admitting that it was truly within her rights to see other men of her choosing but not to do so covertly .She did not believe it possible that she could truly engage with other men without destroying our relationship but admitted that she was already having conversations with a distant love interest from the past . It was a painful disclosure but in the moment I found the depth of her power and dominance to be overwhelming . Without going into details she indeed pursued this interest and we moved into an even deeper level of love and intimacy. My point is simple. Have the conversation . If she chooses to pursue another mans attention then it should be done in an open manner without secrecy or deceit. This is an element of the FLR/ WLM that must be experienced together as a couple . No, I do not mean in person but each step in this direction should be made in lockstep so that it becomes part of the dominant submissive nature of your relationship.
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
John, thank you for helping me through this. I do see now that indulging my fantasy has also made her give something up. She is no longer able to have the experience of making love with a strong confident man who is her equal. This will probably be the hardest conversation I ever have. I will admit the concept scares me more than anything ever has, but with a pandemic going on I do have time to get it straight in my head. It kind of brings me back to the original talk where I spilled my emotions about wanting her to take over our relationship and how I felt submissive to her. I do see this as the final step, the logical conclusion if you will, of a WLM. Maybe that is what is holding me back is the thought that it is locked in at that point, even though I know at this time we will never go back. It has been nice to talk to somebody that has been through this and has come out the other side. Thanks again.- Alan
DeleteAlan, John, I understand the logic behind the perceived inevitability of a Domme Wife in a WLM choosing a non-monogamous, sexual, even recurring romantic relationship with another man because she may wake up one day and realize that her beta submissive man no longer does it for her.
DeleteIn every relationship there is a line. If that line is crossed by one or the other, it is either with consent and approval (ethical) of the other, or without knowledge consent or approval (unethical), or the inaccurate perception of consent. Of course there are and will be circumstances when a Dominant Wife will essentially "force" her beta submissive husband to give consent, but if that consent is unethically obtained, the seeds of relationship ending problems have been planted and will take root and eventually ruin relationships.
Clearly, true consent from a husband to allow or encourage his wife to fuck other men, or worse, develop a recurring, intimate relationship with another man or men falls into the "to each their own" category. In the end, only the husband really knows if that consent is truly what he wants, or if it is given because he is afraid of losing her. It requires long, real, continuous and ethical communication between the husband and wife in order to come to the real truth about what the Wife is willing to sacrifice to get it. I.e. is she willing to risk the demise of her marriage so she can fuck other men? She might be .. and if so, then I suppose it is her prerogative to risk or do just that.
Once the non-monogamy threshold is crossed, it puts the couple on a razor's edge and if there even a spec of doubt or regret once they are on that edge, the imbalance will cause that razor to sever the relationship.
Communicate, communicate, communicate and communicate again. Then, when you have communicated with open minds and open hearts, communicate even more before climbing on that razor's edge.
A post script thought .... All the above being said, I believe that all of the ethical behavior and communication that is necessary in non-monogamy, is necessary in monogamous relationship as well. Ethical monogamy in other words.
DeleteAlan, if your wife is at the point of engaging with other men then I think you need to consider that your relationship has moved well beyond YOUR fantasy. The whole purpose and incredible love in a mature FLR/WLM is about empowering her . If she is making comments about other men she finds attractive it is because she feels empowered to express what she has kept hidden in the past. She is progressing in the very direction you have ask her to go. I seriously doubt she or most women in a mature WLM/FLR will ever actually engage with other men but the freedom to be available and open to their attention will change her life . Women are beautiful creatures that love to be pursued. We take the joy out of their lives when we make them a possession and lock them away . Even in submission to her you can still be the strongest man on the field. Pursue her with all your energy with the ever present knowledge that she can have the man of her choosing . This will make your relationship much stronger and you both can reclaim the passion in your marriage.
DeleteIf she is actually bold enough to take another lover , enjoy the experience in your submission and focus on making it a positive experience for her . This is a very bold expression of her power and should be met with enthusiastic support and acceptance . Yes it will be challenging but I think you will find her even more beautiful and fulfilling .
Take care
John Dalton
Sub Hub , your comments on monogamy / non-monogamy are well written with much thought and very eloquently presented . I completely agree with your observations when applied to the confines of a traditional marriage or relationship. However, I think you miss the point. I do not consider it inevitable that as a wife embraces the concepts of a WLM/FLR that she will suddenly embrace non-monogamy and pursue other sexual or love interest . I would assume that she is very aware of the line of absolute fidelity that your debating. I do believe that as she matures in the concepts of a FLR/ WLM it is likely that in her acquired authority she will challenge his requirement of her submission to this concept . I believe men find total and complete satisfaction in submission to the woman of his heart but I think it would be foolish to expect that she will find the same level of contentment in her dominance ..........especially if it comes with a absolute requirement of fidelity . I just do not believe these two tenants will reconcile. There should be no choice or sacrifice if she chooses to see another love interest . Her empowerment and authority is the very basis for this concept . His consent is given in submission rather than the result of being forced ! We’re not discussing martial abuse but rather a power exchange with a mutual agreement that she is the controlling partner. He consents because he loves her and wants her to be free to enjoy life as she chooses. There should be no razor edge of balance at this point . Trust her decision and embrace the submission that brought you to this point. She should not be risking the demise of her marriage because she has chosen to to Fuck another man as you have said.
DeleteI respect that everyone has their on opinions on this subject. As you said “ to each their own”. My motive is to challenge you and others to look deeper into the concepts of a WLM/ FLR before applying traditional concepts to this lifestyle. Once we are through playing with all the fantasy elements there has to be a paradigm shift that results in an understanding that she is simply in control ! It is hard to get back in the plane once you have jumped. At that point you have to put your trust in the parachute and focus on the excitement of the experience! Yes there is still fear and angst but it comes with a tremendous rush !
Take care
John Dalton
John,
DeleteThanks for your comments. I don't believe I missed the point. In fact I understand the point completely and utterly, and even agree. I guess I could've used far less words by simply saying/advising/inferring that if once the line has been crossed where a wife takes on a lover other than her husband, that they should actually be, really be, not assuming they will be, good with it.
I understand, but don't agree with this concept: "There should be no choice or sacrifice if she chooses to see another love interest . Her empowerment and authority is the very basis for this concept . His consent is given in submission rather than the result of being forced !"
Not if is a hard limit and as such, limits need to be respected. Sure, they can be tested, but must be respected. That said, if a hard limit for a submissive husband is that his wife doesn't have sex with another man, the Dominant Wife either accepts and honors that limit in the context of the lifestyle, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, then her perception of her submissive husband's unwillingness to accept her dominance because she desires sex with another is either a deal breaker, or it isn't.
To illustrate that point, substitute "sex with another man" with something clearly objectionable to most reasonable people ... like actual castration. If a Dominant Wife believes that her dominance and leadership have led to a point where castrating her husband is what will happen, clearly the husband should have a say in it.
John Dalton, I don't think you and I are that far apart conceptually and as a practicable matter. For me I believe it's merely a matter of limits and honest, deep, truthful communication.
Thanks
Sub hub I certainly cannot disagree with your last assertion in regards to castration LOL....... but I just do not see the comparison. Limits can certainly be agreed on but I believe this limit would be like handing the keys of a fast car to your son and saying” now do not go fast ! I see cuckolding as a very natural extension of a FLR/WLM and not one that a reasonable husband would be surprised by .
DeleteYes I agree , we are not far apart and certainly on the same page. I remember sharing your view at one point but my wife had other ideas! Lol
Take care
John Dalton
Thanks John Dalton ... you're a pretty cool guy!
Delete"I see cuckolding as a very natural extension of a FLR/WLM and not one that a reasonable husband would be surprised by."
I agree, it clearly CAN BE a natural extension but not a foregone conclusion. Mistress K. and I have talked about this. For HER ... she (currently) has no interest in taking on a lover because, as she puts it, once you enter the arena, there is just no telling what such highly charged emotional, sexually fueled emotions can emerge. As such, she wishes to avoid risking it. For my part, I have told her that I feel the same way and it was admittedly because I don't think I could handle it if there was even a speck of a chance that some kind of love or loving relationship might/would develop from it, however unlikely it might be. I've said before that I believe I could handle it if it were a male sex robot (LOL) knowing there was not chance of an emotional relationship developing. A human equivalent of a male sex robot is obviously feasible if it were to ever get that far, because in the end, seeing her enjoy amazing sexual experiences is the ultimate sexual experience for us. In other words, her orgasms are our orgasms kind of thing.
How could something like that get accomplished? I have no idea. I imagine it would be very complicated but I already know that it would have to include, as a hard limit, zero communication after the fact. Zero. For any reason. Zero. For ANY reason. Zero. Perhaps such an arguably inflexible limit would be the very reason it may never happen. I guess that would depend on the circumstances.
John, something I meant to ask but forgot to when I hit the "Publish" button. Does your wife cuckold you?
DeleteSub hub, thanks for the compliment and back to you.
DeleteIt would seem that your wife, in HER wisdom believes that neither of you could handle the experience. Cuckolding is not for everyone and I am sure she is making sound judgment . This shows that she values your relationship over what she perceives to be very risky behavior. I agree and I am pretty sure this is why most women will never engage in a relationship outside the marriage. The fear factor is even greater when you consider STD’s and the risk of being outed.
My experience was very different and one which by your description would have been the worst possible for you to endure. As I said before, my wife started a conversation via text with a lover from her past. I knew of the past relationship almost from the minute we met because she shared the details on our first date. The relationship did not work out but it was very clear that this was indeed the man of her dreams. Fast forward six years as our relationship was maturing into a FLR he became aware that she would be spending a week in a nearby town . He contacted her in hopes that they might spend some time together. She initially told him no
but remembered in one of our discussions that I had shared that cuckolding was a very mature expression of dominance. She clearly wanted to see him! In her excitement she disclosed that they had talked on several occasions and she wanted to see him but did not want to risk our relationship. I can vividly remember the crazy mixture of emotions that I felt at that moment . I was excited, jealous, scared and sober all at the same time...... but somehow I found the courage to assure her that this was part of her aspiring dominance . I encouraged her to go forward but insisted that she be completely open as the relationship developed. They talked on a pretty regular basis in the following weeks planning their time together. Our emotions, closeness and love were elevated to an incredible level. Without going into detail, she spent the week out of town as panned .I spent the week resigned to allow her the time for the experience and only talked to her on a couple of occasions. My emotions were crazy all week but I was taken back by the incredible love I felt for her in my very real submission. She returned and we were even closer than before. In the coming months our WLR faded as she retreated once again from the edge of the paradigm shift. So , yes I have experienced cuckolding but she disclosed after returning that the encounter did not work out. Not so sure I believe that but either way I have experienced the emotions , fears and excitement that came with the possibility. We are not currently living in a FLR/WLM but I am glad we had this experience . She absolutely knows that my desires of submission are real and she is free to live as she chooses.
Take care
John Dalton
Thank you for sharing the hard to talk about details John. I'm sorry things have turned out this way. I sincerely hope that they change in a favorable way soon.
DeleteI think your story helps illustrate my point about the importance real, genuine, actual, honest communication being the bedrock for ethical non-monogamy. Everyone can agree that complete and honest communication is ESSENTIAL. It's the life blood of ANY relationship, in particular a marriage. From your story, there doesn't seem like there was full communication.
"In her excitement she disclosed that they had talked on several occasions and she wanted to see him but did not want to risk our relationship."
She can call this what she will but what it (also) is ... is previous lover that establish private communications with her for the purposes of arranging sexual relations with her while she is conveniently in his town, and without her husband. And, once you offered her the cuckold get-out-of-jail-free card explanation of what a Domme Wife is entitled to and perhaps should expect, then she disclosed having already being involved in communications toward that end. As a result, now you have doubt about the validity of her feelings for this former/current-again lover ...
"So , yes I have experienced cuckolding but she disclosed after returning that the encounter did not work out. Not so sure I believe that but either way ...."
It's important to me for you to know that I'm not judging John Dalton ... the beauty of the pain is in the heart of the beholder. In other words again, to each their own but in the end, I'll always believe that whatever a couple chooses to engage in sexually, emotionally or otherwise needs absolute and complete purity, integrity and honesty as it is considered. If that doesn't happen, then the things that were thought to have been properly considered and deemed valid, in the end may only be something that is/was used to situationally justify one's opinions.
Cuckolding is not for me but I appreciate the great discussion going on. I have corresponded with a few people who are involved in cuckolding and I’ve read a great deal on the topic over the years so I have a few thoughts to add to the discussion. First, cuckolding is not a natural evolution for every WLM. A wife does not naturally want to be with another man just because her husband is submissive. That tends to be mostly a male fantasy and I think submissive guys often take innocent flirting as a sign their wife wants to be with another guy because it is their (the guy’s) fantasy. WLM has brought my husband and I closer together and I love everything about him and I love sex even more now that I am in control. I have absolutely no desire to bring another man into the relationship. I am super happy being married to my submissive husband. We have to also recognize that morally, there are many couples who believe in the sanctity of marriage between two people and so cuckolding is not an option (and I think you all understand that but I just had to state it).
DeleteSecond, cuckolding should not be taken lightly. John – I appreciate the perspective you bring and I think the picture you paint of cuckolding is wonderful and can be right for many people but you’ve also made it known in many of your past posts that this is something you want so naturally you are going to be all for it. However, not everybody feels the same way you do. It is not wrong to feel differently and it does not make a man any less submissive if he doe not want to go this route. I agree with subhub that this is a hard limit for many people. Couples need to respect each others limits (and sometimes those limits change and expand over time so it’s not always a permanent limit). Bringing another person into the relationship is complex and changes the emotional dynamic of the relationship. Prior to cuckolding, all of the dominant’s attention is on the submissive. Once cuckolding starts, the sub loses some of that attention and his wife is now doing things with someone else. It is emotional for the sub but also very emotional for the dome/wife as she is now dealing with two relationships. Some people will never be able to deal with that.
Having said all that, the people I have corresponded with who incorporate cuckolding are happy in their marriage and are glad they pursued it. As John described in one of his comments, he became very excited once he experienced it and I think many guys would feel the same way. In fact, one female told me that as odd as it sounds, she feels closer to her husband as a cuckold and has experienced much more intense oral sex from him. It creates a new and exciting dynamic in the relationship. When done right and with both partners committed to it, it can be a great thing. However, it is not the path for everyone and you should never feel pressured into doing it. Sometimes fantasies are best left as fantasies.
Nicely said Mz Kaylee.
Delete"First, cuckolding is not a natural evolution for every WLM. A wife does not naturally want to be with another man just because her husband is submissive."
It can be a natural evolution that a WLM couple would likely to forced (if forced is the right word) to talk about at minimum, because it is so commonly discussed in FLR/WLm forums, blogs and venues. But i don't believe that it is a foregone conclusion that all or most Dominant Wives will want to participate in. Clearly some would ... and do.
"Bringing another person into the relationship is complex and changes the emotional dynamic of the relationship." And those changes, or some variation thereof are permanent going forward, which is why before making the leap that communication is pure, honest, complete and based in trust and respect, whatever the feelings may be.
Thanks Mz Kaylee
I know this whole line of discussion stemmed from a conversation I had with John, I would just like to clarify a few things. First this is in no way my fantasy. When this subject comes up I am usually the voice that says this is just too chancy, too many ways for this to go wrong. With that being said as John mentioned I have given permission for this by giving my submission many years ago. I didn't go into this blind I knew where this could lead. To be truthful I never thought we would ever get as far as we have. This lifestyle has really opened my wife up to possibilities that she never thought possible. Make no mistake this is no fantasy, we live this. When we started we had a long conversation where we both agreed that I would submit and she would lead period. The hard limits are hers to decide not mine. A whole life of trust allowed me to make this decision and any time I have balked at something she has reminded me of our original conversation. I don't know if what I am feeling is really her desire for something new in our relationship, but she is programing me in a direction she never has before. As much as women would tell you this isn't a fantasy the fact that millions of "bodice ripper" books are sold every year, besides the popularity of "Fifty Shades" tells a different story. The difference in a WLM is that the possibility without the normal traditional repercussions presents itself. To finish, I honestly hope this is not where we are going, but the fact that I am getting little hints and clues make me feel anxious and a bit fearful. Thanks for all your points of view, that's why I enjoy this blog so much. No matter your political belief, please wear a mask. I want you all to be safe.- Alan
DeleteThanks for your comment Alan. I hear you ... we (Mistress K. and I) are in this full time 24/7/365 too. Unlike you though, we do each have hard (and soft limits) because we both think those are necessary. Each of us feels we need to be able to have a barrier against something that we individually find reprehensible. As illogical as it may seem, having no limits could, however unlikely could literally include anything such poop, severe physical damage, illegal activity or worse. Clearly no reasonable person would seemingly engage in such things but with that said, there needs to be a boundary, a limit to what one person can compel on another. With respect, I disagree with "The hard limits are hers to decide not mine."
Delete"I don't know if what I am feeling is really her desire for something new in our relationship, but she is programing me in a direction she never has before." So is Mistress K. with me. She is programming me in all sorts of ways that make her life more pleasurable. Like right after I send this, I need to fold a shit ton of laundry. *smile
I understand your point of view Alan, and am happy to hear aboout your marriage with your beautiful wife. It sounds wonderful.
I agree ... wear a mask, stay away from other people and please be safe.
Hello all . This is a great discussion but I do need to clear up a misunderstanding that resulted in a poor choice of words. My wife shares most of your opinions about cuckolding and does not believe that it can be practiced in any committed relationship. She simply got caught up in her feelings of dominance knowing I had encouraged her to live out her desires. If there is a tyrant in this story it is me !
DeleteI simply believe a wife’s assertion of taking another lover is an amazing expression of power. It is clear by the fear in the male audience that it would be a very direct challenge that would cause most to abandon their submission . I overcame my fear and jealousy some years ago . I find women who are free to express their sexuality to be much happier than those who are looked away by a fearful husband of their own own inhibitions . I know my view is not “ normal “ and certainly does not apply to even a small minority of the population . I am just trying to open your minds to the possibility that happiness is not always found in absolute monogamy no more that happiness is normally found when someone is alone . I believe this is evident in our society and certainly can be part of a FLR/WLM if the women is encouraged in her dominance to live as she chooses.
Take care
John Dalton
Mz Kaylee.
DeleteYour last post is spot on in regard to cuckolding in a FLR/WLM . This is not a direction that most couples will ever consider. However , I still think much of the audience is missing the point . I’m not talking about real slavery or absolute power in the relationship but rather a direction that a empowered wife might take in an secure and very loving relationship. As you have stated , you are completely satisfied and fulfilled because you:are in control. I question whether all women maturing into a FLR/ WLM can find the same level of satisfaction that you have found . This is why I see cuckolding as a natural evolution of a WLM/FLR for SOME women or couples. I find the idea of encouraging a woman to become confident ,powerful and dominant somewhat dangerous if you are expecting her to retain the traditional values of marriage and fidelity. Based on what Alan is experiencing , I think this may well be the case with his wife. It appears that she could be slowly moving in this direction with her suggestive comments. I was simply tying to encourage him to relax and remember that she is in control. If he chooses to step in and assert his rights as her husband she may well reject the whole concept of their WLM/FLR in a move that could threaten the relationship even more than the potential affair. It appears that she is being open and forthcoming with her desires as she should be as a dominant wife. This is why I have encouraged him to relax and open a conversation rather than continuing in fear. Many time a woman will simply assert her right to do as she chooses without ever actually pursuing a relationship. Either way, I would not be willing to risk the incredible love and closeness of a FLR/WLM with my requirement of her fidelity. Most see the greater risk in allowing the affair...... I do not .
Take care
John Dalton
I do agree with you John. I know in my heart if that this is something my wife wants in the end I would not stand in her way. I think we are both getting something out of a WLM. On my side she has shown me that a life long urge to be submissive wasn't a misplaced emotion, it is who I truly am. On her side I have given her a life that is truly free to do as she pleases in all aspects of life. We will never go back to a traditional marriage at this point. If my fear turns out to be true then in the end I would not stand in her way, but I don't think a bit of trepidation on my part is not uncommon. In the end I do trust her to make the best decision for both of us. Thank you all. -Alan
DeleteHi John, please count me among those that DO understand what you are saying and mean.
Delete"I’m not talking about real slavery or absolute power in the relationship but rather a direction that a empowered wife might take in an secure and very loving relationship."
Completely agree ... a truly empowered wife might go in any direction she wants, including taking on a new lover. In a marriage like the one Mistress K. and I have, sex with another man (or woman) is not on the table ... but that doesn't necessarily mean such a thing would be prohibited if that was something that she truly wanted to do. My only point ever is that such a decision, even when that decision is made by a fully empowered Wife-in-charge, is as important a decision as will ever be made because it will permanently alter the course of the marriage in a good way, or not. For us is it a limit? Yes. Is it a limit that has zero chance of ever changing? No. Our journey, like yours and Alan's will take it's natural, intended course and as such, I trust the leader in my marriage.
Btw, there are nearly 100 comments on this blog post featuring your words. Congratulations. Tip of the cap in your direction Sir. I have thoroughly enjoy this post, these comments and the intelligent back and forth. Thank you.
Again, who are you? *smile Clearly a famous celebrity guest writer or has Mz Kaylee has already said, "The Most Interesting Man In The World".
LOL, it’s not my words but rather the very challenging subject we are discussing that has created the response. Inquiring minds need to know!! LOL
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
I've been enjoying reading everyone's comments and dialogue. Fantastic! Great ideas bouncing off each other.
DeleteIn regards for cuckolding, I welcome and encourage the idea for us. However, I'd agree the wlm isn't a free pass to do anything she wants without communication.
I see that may be the dividing line with many. When the wife let's hubs know she's going to do something or wants something vs her discussing and agreeing to new limits with hubs.
John - I agree with your advice about encouraging the discussion if there is interest from one partner. It also makes sense to me that there would be trepidation on nervousness about cuckolding but that should not stop the discussion. However, I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a wife to remain faithful in a WLM. I don't see cuckolding as a danger to a WLM. You are in a very different mindset because deep down you want the cuckolding to happen and so I can see how you might think this to be true but I doubt that a wife in a mature WLM would reject the WLM over her husband not wanting her to pursue another lover. If the WLM is mature than she is just as vested into the WLM as he is and likely would not want to go back to traditional marriage (I don't want to go backwards). Also, the wife's decisions are based on love and caring and making an ultimatum like that shows no compassion. Another important point is the WLM and submission does not equate to no sex. A wife does not have to give up sex to be dominant. She can have sex with her husband whenever and however she wants. That's really a big benefit to her of WLM. The feedback I get is that most women have much better sex lives in a WLM compared to a traditional marriage and therefore the thought of taking on another lover does not exist. My guess is that if the thought of cuckolding enters her mind, in most cases it was brought up by the husband or the husband is influencing the wife to dominate toward the extreme of no sex, which makes cuckolding a more plausible option. Now if a guy wants to be prevented from having sex and does not want cuckolding, then he is being selfish and unreasonable. So what's worse - a guy who does not want to have sex with his wife or a wife who wants to take on another lover? Great discussion!
DeleteMz Kaylee, I agree with nearly every comment you have made with the exception of the assertion that it is my deep down desire to bring cuckolding into our relationship. I love my wife dearly . I am certainly not the man that is portrayed in cuckolding porn . I am in excellent shape , have no issues attracting the attention of women,I am very successful in my career and I am very capable of making love to my wife as she desires. Currently I do not believe that my wife would again ever consider seeing another lover outside of our relationship however I am not turning a blind eye to the the fact that over 60% of married couples today have experienced an affair at some point in the relationship. Why is this? I think over time couples just get bored and look for NRE ( new relationship excitement) in the arms of another. I believe that a WLM/FLR is one of the best tools a couple can use to avoid boredom and find continued excitement in the relationship. The problem I find with this path is that men living in submission to their wives are completely fulfilled in their submission sometimes leaving their wife without the same level of fulfillment. Given her power and authority in the relationship I believe this makes her a likely candidate to become part of the 60%? My point is that maybe it is better to address this in openness as my wife and I choose to do. I accept that one man wrapped up in his submission might not be able to fulfill her every desire. I would much rather face my trepidation of her having another love interest in openness and as part of my submission and her dominance. There is no part of me that wants to imagine her in the arms of another man therefore accepting it becomes an incredible act of submission just as her asserting that right is an incredible act of dominance. This is what cuckolding is to me, simply raw dominance and submission.
DeleteI agree that a woman committed to a WLM/FLR should never force this on her husband . This should be something that they explore together . However , I still think that an unyielding husband MAY suffer the loss of his wife’s support of this lifestyle in the process.
The expectation of fidelity is part of the marriage principle even though we know that it fails more times than not (I am not sure I would buy a car that only starts 40% of the time) . We are talking about an issue that prevails throughout our society and is the very reason that after growing up in broken homes the younger generation is choosing to forego marriage and is simply living together. I just think it is possible that a woman very much in love with her husband might get caught up in the excitement of an encounter and have an affair. What if we approach this from a different point of view? Could we diffuse the atomic bomb of hurt and divorce with some honesty and openness. My wife has no interest in being intimate outside our marriage but as dominant wife she knows that it is within her right to do so in openness with no secrets or deceit . We have already experienced this as a couple and became even closer as a result. My wife is much more vibrant and happy empowered with the knowledge that in her dominance she is free to enjoy the attention of other men. She often gets a twinkle in her eyes as she tells me of her innocence encounters. I in turn sometimes chuckle my warning that the next that encounter might be one not so easy to resist. It is all in good fun but with a very serious undertone that is part of our WLM.
Mz Kaylee, would you be willing to share John’s opinions on this subject ?
Take care
John Dalton
Mz Kaylee, sorry, Thomas’s thoughts...... too early in the AM for proper brain function!
DeleteJohn Dalton
Clearly this has become a very popular topic of discussion within the context of the original post. As we near 100 comments, it occurs to me that in the end, what we are discussing/debating has everything to do with everyone's personal preferences and tolerances on the subject of ethical non-monogamy.
DeleteJohn, your consistent and valid points notwithstanding, it really boils down to whatever limits each couple may have within the confines of their relationship, sexual or otherwise. The logic that a Dominant Wife ultimately has the ability and unilateral authority to determine whether or not she wishes to pursue another lover or not, is understandable and valid in general. Depending on the couple, that fact will either align with or conflict with the beliefs and limits of the husband. Clearly that's for them to decide. At some point though, it boils down to open, clear, honest and complete (I wish I could underline and bold the word complete) communication by the wife and husband about what commitments that have been previously made are worthy of being of ignored. I get it, things change and so can people.
What's missing in the general discussion is the understanding and knowledge by others outside of their relationship, that play a role in whether or not a decision by her to have sex with another man (or woman) is or should be allowed, or whether it is a unilateral right that she alone decides on. In other words, it's really nobody's business but their own. Any discussions about what others should or could, do or don't do is fruitless and risks being judgmental, even if it is not the intent of the well intended observer.
For me personally, for example, the idea of New Relationship Excitement (NRE) being the reason that justifies non-monogamy is imminently more scary, worrisome, and heart breaking than the unemotional, unattached physical act of sex with another man (or woman), because it speaks directly to the foundation of our love and of our marriage. Why is that? I've explained in the past that seeking the thrill of NRE is sort of like making the heroin addict happy by giving them heroin. It makes the recipient happy right then, but is it the best thing long term? What is the the logical path and conclusion of a new NRE relationship? Likely it would take the wife to a point where the "new" has worn off, and she's back in the same place she started, only now with the very real potential of there being additional broken hearts beating in the chests of people that she loves. What happens if the new man in the NRE relationship falls in love with the wife? The kind of love where he wants the wife solely for himself? It's a seed that will be naturally sitting in a very fertile garden the entire time. Even if it was declared and agreed by all involved at the onset of that relationship that it can never happen, what if it does? Even if the Wife steadfastly declares that her cuckolded husband is her till-death-do-us part primary, her rock, "no matter what happens" in the context of a new, deeply intimate love and sexual relationship with another man ... that commitment is subject to change as easily as the commitment of fidelity was in the first place.
(Part 1)
(Sorry for the length. Had to split it into 2 parts)
DeletePart 2
In the absence of a 100 % (not 99.9%) understanding and agreement of the primary relationship risks involved by the submissive husband and Dominant Wife, it's playing with fire. Although playing with fire is super fun, doing so carelessly enough or for long enough means that at some point, it's inevitable that someone gets burned. It may be the kind of burn that requires a band-aid and a cold compress, or it could be fatal.
There is tons of irony in each of our individual logic and justifications about this topic. At the end of the day, the couple, together will either realize that a decision to open their marriage or not, will work for them ... or it will not. As such, they will either realize this and honestly understand what they are doing is what they want before lighting the fire, or their fate will be decided for them by the fire.
Alternatively, as in your case John, it can also lead to a deeper more meaningful, loving relationship between the husband and Wife.
To each their own of course. God bless anyone that is able to live their life in a way that pleases them, and with someone they love more than any other. In everything we do in life, matches and gasoline will always be readily available to all of us. Knowledge is knowing what those two things together can do. Wisdom is knowing what putting them together will do to them.
In closing, what an amazing discussion this has been and will likely continue to be. Reasonable discourse among people is rather enjoyable and likely will explain the 100 or so comments. Tip of the cap to everyone involved and especially to you Mz Kaylee. It also is a good explanation as to why my Mistress K. enjoys you and your blog so much. Thank you all.
Excellent thoughts!
DeleteMaybe I'm strange by saying I want and encourage the cuckolding. I'm sure there would be a connection with the guy and wife, but I don't see how that would infringe on a strong marriage. Perhaps the idea is it could still just be about sex only.
If you realize, agree and understand that you're not entitled to sex, then I think it makes it easier to accept that her sexual satisfaction can be fulfilled by someone else. For some reason, that doesn't make me insecure and would just add the the marriage.
And perhaps it's just me but I think most of our sex is primarily for her orgasms vs an activity for bonding/connecting. I've come to realize my cock is just a tool to please her. And she uses it as she wishes, piv, at times, which I don't prefer but do as I'm told. I joke and plainly tell her that I'm providing a service, that sex is services.
I can see possibly where the cuckolding can be beneficial in the future as further exploration continues. If a wife just sees a cock as a cock, and a means to an end to get her orgasms, then it seems more simple.
Mike, for whatever it is worth, I don't think you are strange at all for how you feel about cuckolding. It's unique to you and your wife and as such, is completely and utterly not strange. It's also not strange that other have varying and differing thoughts about it as well. As I said before ... to each their own. As that relates to you and your wife, congratulations for having found a comfort level and method that works for the both you. That, in and of itself is an amazing achievement and should be celebrated and supported by any reasonable person. Thinking I may be reasonable on some level, I fully support and celebrate your thoughts and your lifestyle. Congratulations to you both.
DeleteI feel like I won the lottery ... my comment (above) was the 100th comment! Yay. Do I get a prize? :-)
DeleteHello all. I just spent a relaxing hour going going back through my original post followed by all the comments. This has truly been an eye opening dialogue with outstanding comments about a difficult subject . We seem to have input from all directions EXCEPT a a dominant woman who has encountered the paradigm shift and feels empowered to take another lover outside of her WLM/FLR. I am extending an invitation ! I would love to hear your comments and would bet the group would as well .
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
Subhub - thanks for the well though out comment. You present a great view of the considerations for cuckolding. I agree the each couple is different and how they pursue it is up to them.
DeleteAll- There are some deeper issues in some of the comments that I disagree with, which I will address via a separate post as I feel we're off topic from this original post. As per Jonh's last comment - I would invite everyone to read the posts from July and August on cuckolding, which were from two dominant women who integrate cuckolding into the relationship.
Yes, I got us off topic using the word “cuckold” I should have known that word is like throwing gasoline on a fire around here. It’s just something I see coming my way in the future and saw a correlation when John mentioned a dominate wife’s needs vs desires. Her dominance has been unrelenting since the “shift”. It’s like she is working each step from a WLM playbook. Next chapter appears to be cross dressing. I’ll let you know how that works out. Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays.-Alan
DeleteAlan, as you say the subject of cuckolding is like throwing gasoline on a fire but in reality it is part of the cause and effect of the paradigm shift we are discussing . As the many comments reflect it is a direction that many men fear and would appear to be a corse few women will pursue. I married a woman that is very social and flirty by nature so this seemed to be a natural direction for her. As it turns out she is also very traditional in her views of marriage making the tenants of exploitation outside the marriage unlikely. This is certainly a safer direction but the fact that this is her decision is where the value is found.
DeleteYou indicated in your comments that your wife has been unrelenting in her pursuit of her dominance since the shift. Most men reading this blog would giver her a hearty thumbs up but fantasy is often very different from the reality you are experiencing. I am very curious to know more about her before the shift. Did you see this coming or was it a complete shock ? Did you see other changes in her demeanor in her daily life ? Would she encourage other women approaching the paradigm shift?
Take care
John Dalton
As I started writing a follow-up post on cuckolding, I realized that much of what I wanted to write was specific to John and so it seems the best thing to do is just address it here in the comments rather than a post.
DeleteJohn – I appreciate your openness and candor and as noted before I agree with most of what you said but your recent comments have me confused and I don’t fully agree with some things you said so I’d like to better understand your thoughts.
You said “I agree with nearly every comment you have made with the exception of the assertion that it is my deep down desire to bring cuckolding into our relationship” and “There is no part of me that wants to imagine her in the arms of another man therefore accepting it becomes an incredible act of submission just as her asserting that right is an incredible act of dominance”
These statements seem to contradict what you have said in the past. You have frequently and consistently brought up the desire for cuckolding in comments over the past few months. You recently stated that it was thrilling and exciting when your wife tried cuckolding. My impression of your relationship based on your history of comments over the years has been that you have been pushing cuckolding on your wife but she is the one who does not want it. Being flirty with other guys is much different that being a cuckold or having an affair. She did decide against in the end, didn’t she? I totally get the love-hate thrill of not wanting your wife to be with another man but also loving it. That type of thrill is what many submissive men desire. Is that what you are talking about? So if this the thrill you are seeking then wouldn’t you say that deep down, it is cuckolding that you want or do you truly feel that you only want to do cuckolding to save your marriage?
You further stated: “My point is that maybe it is better to address this in openness as my wife and I choose to do.” I agree with the statement and this statement applies across the board to everything in the relationship not just cuckolding. In a WLM and in any good relationship, the concept of an affair should not even be a thought. Honestly, if you have a great relationship, how could you even have an affair without the other person knowing? Perhaps I am just to naive but my husband and I spend so much time together that I don’t know how it could happen. The great thing about WLM is that it facilitates openness and discussion.
(continued in next comment)
DeletePart 2:
“You talked about 60% of couple experience an affair and possibly due to getting bored and seeking new relationship excitement.” This is where I raise the red flag in terms of trying to correlate this to cuckolding. Affairs occur because of issues in the marriage such as communication has broken down between the couple, they are disconnected with each other, they are not having sex anymore, and they are not spending enough time with each other. Cuckolding is not going to solve those issues. If anything it will accelerate the issues and break apart the marriage even more.
If a couple chooses to pursue cuckolding, that is great. It is a fun and exciting lifestyle for many people. My concern here is that I do not want others to think that they must do cuckolding to save their marriage. It is actually very sad to me if a husband is forced into it when he does not want it. My belief is that cuckolding should be done for the reason of adding excitement on top of an already strong marriage and not out of fear. Certainly many WLMs lead to a cuckolding relationship but it occurs because the couple has evolved to the point where cuckolding make sense for both of them.
As you know, I have no interest in cuckolding in my relationship (Thomas is neutral on the topic. He finds the idea exciting but is not sure he would actually want it) and I am fortunate that I have not experienced an affair so I understand that I may have a different opinion than others that have experienced these things. However, I believe much of this is really about relationships and not cuckolding and I feel that's where I have some expertise.
Thanks for engaging in this intriguing discussion.
-Mz Kaylee
John, to give you a full view of our past would take more than a few sentences. I have known my wife since we were kids. I first met her at 12, she was 16. A very popular, outgoing, high school cheerleader. We had friends in common, knew each other casually, but it was always a “ girls like that don’t go with guy’s like me”. When we did started dating she was very sexually experienced, me not so much. I think this is why she has always dominated me sexually.
Delete11 years ago we started our WLM. and it kind felt for years that her heart wasn’t really into it, until I retired and since then it has been a roller coaster ride. She pushes me past my fantasy at a steady pace. May of the things she comes up with now are things that have never been mentioned. I have never brought up cross dressing to her, but a week after she told me it was happening I saw an order for lingerie in my size go out, so this is going to happen eventually.
And your last question, yes she has already shared some with my daughter. I have no idea how much. If your curious look under Tony’s profile.
So far this has been the most exciting time of my life and yes it is shocking how far we have come in the last year. Stay safe-Alan
Mz Kaylee.
DeleteThank you for your comments. Unfortunately as I was composing my lengthy response I must have hit the wrong key and all my work disappeared. I will make another attempt as time allows.
Take care
John Dalton
Alan, thank you for your response. What am I to find in Tony’s profile? I have confused as to how that relates to our conversation.
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
John, you asked if she would encourage other women. Perhaps you were talking about taking an other lover. I thought you were talking about women empowering themselves. Probably my mistake. In the comments in Tony's profile I recounted what happened to me as my wife tried to help my daughter with motivating her husband.- Alan
DeleteAlan, I was basically asking if you believe that your wife would encourage a woman to experience the completeness of a FLR/WLM as part of the paradigm shift that Mz Kaylee has articulated . I was just trying to get to know your wife a little better to understand her direction. I only read Tony’s profile . I will review his comments.
DeleteI am always very interested in knowing more about the women who enjoy the FLR/WLM lifestyle. A post from a cuckoldress named Venus appeared in the comments last night. I learned she has a website or blog dedicated to the Cuckolding lifestyle . It goes FAR beyond the FLR principles but she is certainly is a very interesting woman ! Her comments in regard to her journey of enlightenment are facilitating. This look into a woman’s thoughts about female empowerment helps me better understand my own relationship. I think your wife is unusual in that she reached a point and suddenly embraced the principles of a WLM/FLR . This is the paradigm shift ! It seems that she has quickly matured beyond your expectations or preparedness. Have that conversation but hold on tight ........ and hope that she does not find Venus’s blog ! LOL
Take care
John Dalton
LOL, I Am kind of getting the idea that she may be reading my comments on here, so she may already know about Venus. A couple of years ago she made me send her a list of the blogs I was looking at and the list came back with several lined out in red. Those were the ones that I was not allowed on. Luckily Think Tank made it through the vetting. A lot of the others have gone dark since. If I looked at Vensus’s I would have to ask and have her vet it so that would end up as a double edge sword. I would like to read her take, but hiding things seems to be the worst transgression with her.- Alan
DeleteAlan, I very much enjoyed reading your exchange with Mz Kaylee on Tony's profile. I have a lot better understanding of your wife as well as the terms you are living under. It was fascinating to hear how both you and Mz Kaylee have approached this subject . Sometimes the depth of a woman’s dominance can be found in the simpler exchanges in life . I had no doubt that Mz Kaylee is a powerful woman and based on how your wife handled her conversation with your daughter I think we can assume that she is as well . I actually feel better about the possibility of cuckolding in your relationship. It would seem to me that it is unlikely that she will proceed in this direction but if she does it will be well thought out with consideration for the harmony In your relationship. I think she may be even more aware of the workings of a FLR/WLM than you are..... lol. My wife is certainly not in her league.
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
She is very smart and calculating. She knows exactly how to push my buttons. We are a very close couple, more so since WLM. It has been a steady progression in her dominance since “the shift”. Most it has been stifling my masculinity, making me more demure and passive. I can’t shake the feeling that this is a working towards an end. I know if this is something she wants to cross off her “bucket list” that she would do it in a safe manner both physically and emotionally. Thank you for helping me off the ledge and realizing this might be a good experience in the end. I have agreed to let my wife set the hard limits and there is a reason. I would trust her with my life. Thanks again and Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. - Alan
DeleteMz Kaylee
DeleteThank you for your comments. I love the opposing views and the challenging conversation on this blog.
Your perception of my desires is why I hate the term cuckolding. My submission to her within the the principles of a FLR is centered around her pleasure and desires. I find joy , happiness and contentment in seeing her selfishly enjoy the fruits of my submission. It gives me purpose in life and fulfills me in a way I simply cannot put words to. The source of my excitement was found in her boldness and assertion of freedom to have a man she desired without guilt or need of commitment . I enjoyed her smile and the excitement on her face as she playfully texted him . I enjoyed the passion that even the promise of the encounter brought to our relationship ........ but most importantly I was thrilled in my belief that she had finally began to understand the incredible concepts of a WLM . I thought she was experiencing the paradigm shift that would enable her to look past the traditional concepts of marriage and live as an empowered woman who valued my submission and love for her. To me this has nothing to do with a love hate experience but rather a experience of complete love and devotion to the woman of my heart that transcends the traditional tenets of possession and ownership within marriage.
I have spoke on this subject many times in past months because of the depth of the raw submission I felt in the experience . It was intoxicating beyond description and life changing in its effect. I think it could have had the same effect on my wife had she actually proceeded with the encounter . In the end her traditional values took control and she retreated away from the passion of her desires back to the safety of normal . I think she played it out to see how I would react . My love and desire for her exploded within the experience causing her even more trepidation for the lifestyle.
My comments in regards to affairs present in most marriages was to emphasize the natural tendency of men and women to stray outside of marriage. I would not expect this to happen in your marriage or for that matter any marriage based on the concepts of a WLM. However, I do believe that it is possible or even likely that as a woman matures in the concepts of a WLM she might consider openly taking another lover as part of the dominant submissive dynamic of the relationship. I confused this belief with my wife’s aborted attempt to engage another man. I believe now that this was actually a reaction to my desires that fit a narrative she wanted to experience. This is why cuckolding can be so dangerous. It must be a shared experience where the man in fulfilled in his submission with the woman ever conscious of the dominant dynamic that makes it work. The sexual encounter is part of her dominance and his submission. In simpler terms , it is an encounter of two with a mind fuck of one ! Lol
Certainly no one reading this blog there should ever consider cuckolding as a necessary part of a FLR. My purpose in the discussion is to address the fears and anxiety that can occur if the desire is put forth by the woman in a FLR. Under the mantle of authority given in his submission she may well believe it is within the conscripts to pursue such a relationship . No doubt this should be a negotiated agreement but one would hope that she is aware of his limitations and would proceed carefully . The sticking point as I see it is in maintaining the balance of the relationship without challenging her authority . This is why I advise caution to the male . The balance of the relationship is based on his willingness to submit and all can be lost with an unbending assertion that is in direct conflict with her desires. Leadership is not easy and comes with challenges . Don’t forget this is what you wanted !
Take care
John Dalton
Part 2 Mz Kaylee
DeleteI am not sure where your question or comments in regard to the use of cuckolding to save our marriage came from. Our marriage is secure . We are just not as close outside the principles of a WLM . Even she acknowledges this but is quite content without the amplified closeness. Your comment about me pushing her to adopt the cuckold lifestyle did hit home. I was supportive of her encounter with her past lover but it was entirely of her making. However, I am sure that she has felt pressure in my desire to live in a WLM . Your comment inspired thought and even a conversation with her on the subject. I have newly resolved to push my thoughts of a WLM back into the recesses of my mind and again focus on the 50/50 principles so common with couples today.
Take care
John Dalton
John - Thanks for adding clarity to your thought process. You're clearly someone who puts a lot of thought and considerations into your actions. That is a great trait to have. One of the downsides to submission is that it is very addictive and easily clouds ones judgement. I believe a key role of the woman is to add a sense of reality to it all. If my husband got fully wrapped up in his submissiveness, he'd probably end up living as a true slave, naked, collared, and with no rights. That's just not practical, nor how I want to live. It is clear that submission is a big part of you so I don't see you ever being satisfied with 50/50. My opinion is that you should not focus on the 50/50 principles but rather work with you wife to find the right balance that works for both of you. Maybe it's 60/40 or 70/30. I truly hope you can find a balance that works.
DeleteI have a question and please, please understand that I don't mean any disrespect by asking it ... but who is John Dalton? Is he a expert in the field of WLM's or is he just a regular dude trying to live our lives like the rest of us?
ReplyDeleteNot disagreeing with nearly everything Mr. Dalton has said, but was just curious if he was someone I maybe was supposed to know and don't?
He is the most interesting man in the world..he drinks Dos Equis :)
DeleteLol .... now that is funny! I may have to give up my Crown and replace it with Dos Equis !
DeleteLOL - That's what I though .....
DeleteLOL , just a common dude with an interest and fascination with the power dynamics of relationships. I just look a little deeper than most into what makes up this wonderful subject of a WLM/FLR .
ReplyDeleteTake care!
John Dalton
ANd I applaud you for it my friend ....
DeleteObey thy Mistress and all will be well. Our place is to serve and obey our Matriarch.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog. Wonderful!
Would you like to guest post on femdoming.com (free of charge)?
We would be pleased to promote you. Just write to contact@femdoming.com
Great discussion all. It's fantastic to see so many people contributing and I really like that many of you are responding to each others comments. This is what helps us all learn and grow in our relationships. Many times the comments are more insightful than the post itself. Thanks for all your comments.
ReplyDeletehttps://img48.pixhost.to/images/304/177301433_salman_khan.jpg
ReplyDeleteHow can I get rid of my non femdom wife, my life sucks after marriage
ReplyDeleteWe don’t care about each other and we are not interested in each other anymore.
The most complicated thing is we have a son.
It is a nightmare for me to go back home everyday
David, this all sounds pretty sad. Do you want rid of your wife because she is not interested in Femdom and is that the reason of your not compatible ? If so, you really need to get some counseling as a couple. You owe it to your son to at least make an effort to work things out . You cannot cut and run every time things do not goes as YOU planned .
DeleteTake care
John Dalton
I suppose have the courage to divorce and move on to a new life?
ReplyDeleteGreat suggestions. Thank a lots
DeleteIf a meeting of the minds/hearts can't be obtained, what alternative is there? You clearly said your desire was to ".... get rid of my non femdom wife..."
DeleteGreat stuff everyone!
ReplyDeleteAN interesting blog article by "The Gentle Domme" that may be of interest. It's basic advice, but apropos nonetheless.
ReplyDeletehttps://thegentledomme.com/2020/12/17/deciding-whether-to-open-your-relationship/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=deciding-whether-to-open-your-relationship
Okay so the first thing I thought when I started reading this...
ReplyDeleteThis must be written by a woman.
Then I got a little deeper and I started highlighting certain sentences for that "Aha!" moment: The energy of this dynamic usually fades over time because the cheese comes with a whole new list of responsibilities to fulfill his desire for submission.
Nailed it.
Then I just couldn't highlight it all after that... it's brilliant.
The author is obviously a man who is keenly observant to a woman's thoughts, feelings, desires, and insecurities. He has taken the time to soak in all of her, listen to all that is said in any way, reflect on that information, dissect it, and put it all together again in an attempt to fully understand her.
There is so much wisdom in this article. All women need to read this, slowly, deliberately, word by beautiful word, and then repeat.
Well done.
Venus xo
Hello Venus. Thank you for your wonderful comments. It is very refreshing to see comments from a woman’s perspective and even more powerful to coming from a real life cuckoldress !
DeleteThank you!
John Dalton
I agree Venus. John's post and comments are well thought out and insightful. I am so glad you pointed that out and thanks for your comment. I need more women's perspectives on this blog :).
DeleteWhy hasn’t Mz Kaylee published a new topic in almost a month? I need her insight. Is she busy with the holidays?
ReplyDelete