Devotion Update

So we had one of our devotion nights the other day. I had my husband get naked and put on a studded collar and cuffs. I've not yet gotten him the devotion outfit that I described in my earlier post. For now I am satisfied with the basic slave look. His truth that he had to repeat while changing and several times during the evening was, "I am your slave husband now and forever."

I was delighted and amused to see that he had an erection simply from changing into his slave attire and repeating his truth. He spent a few minutes kissing my feet then I had him clean out and organize the closet in our extra bedroom that has collected a lot of clutter over the years. He did a fantastic job with this.

Next I had him get on all fours in front of the couch and I used him as a footstool while I read a book. I had him alternate between being on all fours and laying on his back so that I could rest my feet on his face or chest. His cock remained erect the entire time! Once done reading I teased his cock while he was still on all fours. I find this to be a great position for teasing because I can access his boy bits from both underneath and behind, which turns him to putty in my hands. I brought him to the edge of orgasm several times and had him begging for orgasm. This got me aroused too so I ordered onto his back on the floor. Then I sat on top of his face and queened him, with my legs pinning down his arms. I love this position because he is helpless beneath me and I can control the pace and can control exactly where he licks me. I also get a bit of a power rush by suffocating him with my sex. I have become very comfortable with riding his face hard when I queen him. It feels amazing for me and it drives him wild too! 

After my orgasm, he thanks me profusely for queening him because it is one of his favorite ways to worship me. I love that! Next, I order him to draw me a bath. He bathes me, dries me off, and then it is into the bedroom for a massage. Before massaging each foot, he kisses it and recites his truth. This is repeated for my legs, arms, calves, back, and ass. After he is done massaging me, he is trained to kneel by the bed until I release him. I lay for several minutes, enjoying the relaxation and peacefulness. Then I order him to fetch my pajamas. His cock is still hard and even a bit drippy. I hold his cock while he dresses me in my pajamas. He recites his truth three more times for me and then I tell him he can change out of his slave outfit and finish with his end of night chores. I happily drift off to sleep. It was a wonderful night of devotion.

I am happy to say that my husband's devotion mindset remains strong. He continues to keep the house clean without much direction from me and regularly checks in with me to see if there are other things he can do for me. I am lucky to have a wonderful devoted submissive husband and the devotion nights become his reward for his unfailing devotion to me. If you are not submissive or a new dominant to the lifestyle, this may be hard to understand. On the surface, what I described above appears to be all about me; but if you are submissive, you know that my devotion night is designed to bring my husband intense mind blowing submissive pleasures that he craves. It is reward for him.

-Mz Kaylee

The Power and Pleasure of ‘No’

 

‘No’ is a powerful word. When used it is an act of authority or an act of defiance. It is a word that almost always creates emotion and reaction in others.  It can make someone stressed, angry, happy, or even excited. For the dominant Female, ‘No’ should be viewed as a tool to use in exerting her control over her submissive partner.

My favorite use of the word is when Thomas asks for permission to orgasm. He only asks this question when he is fully-aroused and on the verge orgasm. For him to reach that point, he has spent several minutes enjoying the pleasure of my teasing, or if he is lucky, the pleasure of being inside of me. He has also spent the last part of those minutes struggling not to cum and struggling in his mind whether to ask for permission to orgasm or to try to hold onto the pleasure for a few seconds longer. When he has reached the point where he asks (or sometimes begs) for permission to orgasm, I know he is at his wits end and desperate for release and it so powerful and fun to simply say ‘No.’ One would think this response results in disappointment and frustration. Not in the case of my husband…well maybe sometimes that is the result, but most times the denial from me ignites his arousal even more and his body tenses and he struggles hard not to orgasm even though I have stopped touching him. Such fun and excitement for the both us.  I do believe Thomas enjoys the ‘No’ more than the ‘Yes.’ I sure hope so because he does not get many yes’s!

There are many obvious situations in which the dominant wife uses ‘No.’ You know those times- when he is whining, trying to get out of chores, or just asking stupid questions. No! No! and No! Each time you tell him ‘No,’ you are exerting your authority and tapping into his submission. I recommend that as the dominant partner, you purposely tell your husband ‘No’ from time to time, just to exert your power over him. For example, my husband needs to ask permission to go out with his friends. If he is not in good standing with me, he pretty much knows the answer is going to be no. It’s actually quite cute when he asks me half heartedly because he knows what I am going to say. That is power!  However, there are also times when he is in good standing and I still say ‘No’ simply to exert my power and remind him of his place at my feet. This brings disappointment for him and maybe even a twinge of anger but he knows not to react negatively or there will be consequences. This is all part of the deal and commitment he agreed to when he asked me to take control of him so long ago. Using the ‘No’ like this is, every now and then, is healthy and beneficial to the WLM. It reinforces your power over him and brings reality to his submission, which brings out deep submissive emotions within him. Some guys will feel the submissive rush instantly and may even get aroused on the spot. Other guys may experience feelings of anger but once the anger subsides, those submissive emotions arise after it sinks in that they are being controlled and dominated. Remember ladies, submissive guys crave the feeling of being controlled and dominated. The more real it is, the more exciting and long-lasting the rush. Telling them ‘No,’ making them work extra hard for you, and putting them under stress ever now and then, brings out their deep submissive emotions.

‘No’ can also be fun and sexy in the bedroom. Having him beg to pleasure you over and over again while you tell him no, can be fun. We all know that when you forbid something from someone, it makes them want it more. When, or if, you say ‘Yes,’ he will be so eager to please you. What’s even more fun is to tell him ‘No’ and then redirect him to something else.  For example, if he asks, “may I please lick your nipples,’ you can reply, ‘No, but you can get on your knees and kiss my feet.’ Once he complies, what I like to do is spout of additional orders before he can gather his thoughts. ‘good boy…..keep kissing them….put your hands behind your back…..that’s it….now kiss my thighs….” Using this technique is a great way to take complete control of him and keep him focused purely on pleasing you.

I hope this article has been thought provoking for you.  I challenge to tell your husband ‘No’ tonight and redirect him to serving you.  Please share his reaction and how things went.

-Mz Kaylee.

"Alone Time" For Couples

I believe that it is very important and beneficial for couples to spend quality alone time together. By this I mean time doing activities and talking with each other without kids, family, or friends present. The concept sounds simple, but many couples fail to do this. I am sure you know some people who never even transition into the married life after the say "I Do."  These are the ones that continue to maintain active social lives and hobbies separate from their spouse and put a higher value on those activities then spending time with their spouse. Those relationships are destined for failure unless something changes. 

Even those who start with great intentions and a love for doing things together can fall into the traps of being consumed by their job, consumed with raising kids, or consumed with a passionate hobby. Those are all very important aspects of life, but if you focus too much on one aspect or you neglect an important aspect of your life, then your life becomes out of balance. Sadly, often times a long-term consequence of this imbalance, is that a couple that was once in love, finds themselves drifting apart from each other and potentially on the verge of divorce years later. 

Life gets busy. That is inevitable. That is why it is important to plan time together so that you can stay connected and experience life together or re-connect as a couple and fall in love with each other all over again. A great benefit of the Wife Led Marriage (WLM) lifestyle, is that it creates many opportunities for alone time. My husband and I have many intimate times together on a weekly basis such as when he massages me or gives me a bath, when I do weekly reviews of his performance, or when he pleasures me. These are special times that we connect on a very intimate level and bond with each other. Prior to our WLM, we spent much less time on these types of activities. I've really enjoyed how the WLM has created these special moments for us and I feel strongly that it has brought us closer together and strengthened our marriage.

In addition to those moments, we also plan several getaways with each other each year. This is something that we did both pre and post WLM. When the kids were younger we would get a baby sitter for the weekend. These are typically overnight trips or long weekend trips. The types of getaways have ranged from a night at a nearby bed and breakfast to a weekend cruise. Most times we stayed within a few hours drive from home and explored the local town or went to a festival. No friends and no family- just us two. We also made it a point to be inward focused with each other during the getaway. In other words, we were not interested in socializing with others. We still engaged with people we encountered, but we kept it to a minimum. Yes, this was anti-social, but the point of the getaway was to connect with each other. 

On these trips, I pack our "toys" and some fetish gear and this always excites Thomas. Sometimes we use them and sometimes we don't. It all depended on my mood. I will confess that most times my inhibitions disappear and my inner dominatrix comes out on these trips. When I am away from home, it is easy to destress, forget about real life, and step into a fantasy world. On these getaways I am often pushing my sexual limits more than I am pushing his. It was on one of these trips that I first demanded that Thomas worship my ass with his tongue. That was so out of character for me at the time, but now it is something I do regularly. Thinking back over the years, I've realized that my comfort level and confidence in being dominant increased tremendously after these trips and so they have played an important part in shaping our WLM.

Although the getaways for us are sexually charged and concentrated on my authority and control over him, they are also an enjoyable time of hanging out together doing fun 'normal' activities. I find that on these trips we reconnect with each other on a deep intimate way, and we remember all the wonderful things about each other that made us fall in love so many years ago.

Whether you are in a traditional marriage or a WLM, I encourage you to do activities together and plan regular alone time together, including overnight getaways. It is so important to carve out time for each other no matter how busy life becomes.

-Mz Kaylee

 

Comment Issues

 It has come to my attention that some of you are having issues with commenting. The issues seems to be specific to those not posting under a Google Account. I have learned that this issue is probably tied to cookie tracking.  If you are posting under anonymous or using a generic name instead of your google account, then you need to allow for cookies to be tracked and saved. You can adjust this setting under your browser property settings, under the privacy and security menu.

Hope this helps and I look forward to reading your comments!

-Mz Kaylee

Laundry (Guest Post by AJ)

Whats going on in his head when he does the laundry for you within an FLR based relationship? Why is doing the laundry so important?

I’m going to try to take a stab at this. His mind is in this incredibly weird and  very complex state and he is this wonderful loving man who just happens to be my submissive husband. By analyzing our FLR relationship over the years and through experiencing what makes him tick and not tick, I am going to attempt to answer this question. By asking him directly what he gets out of this, I am attempting to answer this question. I honestly don’t know if he fully knows and understands whats going on in his own head while he is performing the task of doing the laundry. Its more of a question of the current state of his mind and how this activity interacts with that mindset while he is performing it, that is the true answer to this question.

When a woman understands the answer to this simple question she will begin to understand the overall dynamics of the FLR relationship and why, against all traditional logic, it is of a lasting nature and why it benefits both partners immensely. Laundry is just one specific case, but you can substitute ANY activity which  he performs for you both of a sexual and non sexual nature. This is just a studied example case to illustrate some FLR/submissive concepts at work in the relationship.

As a traditional woman in a traditional relationship we are looking at his “desire” to do the laundry as the following

1) He’s doing it because he wants something in return, and we have a very good idea of what that is.

2) It wont be a long lasted and repeating activity. Once we satisfy his ulterior motive (some immediate desire for some form of sex) we don’t really expect that he will be doing the laundry again except when he once again needs us to scratch that other itch for him.

3) He is more than likely to do a very half butt job. In the end it’s more time an energy for us in performing rework than what was gained by having him do it for us in the first place. He’s likely to not use the correct wash settings, dry things he shouldn't be drying, and if we’re lucky enough to have him fold afterwards, it will not be done to our personal standards.

So when we hear him say that he wants to do the laundry for us we are instantly very suspicious and hesitant. What on the surface is being sold to us as a gift, we know that in fact its going to be a burden of sorts for us in the end. And this is how we as traditional women view anything he is trying to sell us with this whole FLR thing.  We are used to the traditional vanilla man and not this man with this weird kinky disposition of wanting to be controlled and to be submissive.

We have to understand the mindset of the FLR desiring man to understand his version of this same story and to understand why when he does the laundry this is entirely different situation.

When a submissive man does the laundry in a FLR relationship his desire to do laundry can be described as below.

1) He is doing it because he wants something in return.

2) With an appropriate feedback loop, IT WILL be long lived and repeating in nature.

3) With an appropriate feedback loop, IT WILL be consistently done to our personal satisfaction each and every time with no rework involved.

Lets take these one at a time.

1) He is doing it because he wants something in return….

That still is correct and it still is partially sexual in nature just as before, but there is additionally something else going on at the same time, which is much deeper in his mind and which is occurring  at a purely psychological level.  The physiological element in his mind completely transforms the nature of his sexual need and satisfaction for doing the exact same job.  The sexual aspect of this has now shifted from being his expectation of PIV or a blowjob or “whatever” at some near point in the future to something far more complex. This is the hard part for us to grasp. For a submissive man, who wants to be controlled by his wife or partner, the sex part is actually achieved in doing the laundry for us. That is what he is getting in return!  When he is doing the laundry there is a good chance he will be having an erection (if he is not caged) while doing it. When he is doing the laundry he very well may be leaking precum. When he is doing the laundry he is subconsciously thinking what a huge mental and sexual turn on it is for him to being doing this very submissive and “feminine” act for us because he has been instructed and ordered to do so by his dominant partner.  When he is folding the clothes and especially when he is folding your panties( or even his panties), he is thinking about all of the other related submissive activities which he is directing your way over the course of the day and week. He is thinking about all of the other dominating and controlling activities you are throwing his way. The laundry just becomes the real time physical representation of all of those thoughts and activities for him.

2) With an appropriate feedback loop, IT WILL be long lived and repeating in nature.

Because he lives to please you and because he identifies your pleasure as directly linked to his own pleasure, he looks forward to doing the laundry for you. He enjoys all of the mental and sexual stimulus the activity is providing him both directly and indirectly.  That’s his feedback loop, that’s why he wants to do this activity over and over again.

3) With an appropriate feedback loop, IT WILL be consistently done to our personal satisfaction each and every time with no rework involved.

The answer to this is very similar to the previous answer. In addition to the desire to please, having the further subjugation in his mind that the task needs to be performed very exactly and correctly to our minute specifications, that increases his feeling of being dominated and controlled by you. So it further amps up the arousal and gratification he feels when performing the task.

But why is he so aroused both mentally and sexually when doing the laundry? That is still the lingering question.

Again, a very difficult question to answer with any clarity.

Again my stab at it. By submitting to me fully he is authorizing my dominance over him. By giving me his sexuality and complete control over it by wearing his chastity device and allowing me to decide when, if and how he orgasms, he is submitting to me. By taking a dildo in his butt he is submitting to me. By accepting the discipline and correction I provide to him, he is submitting to me. By sexually servicing me on command and from nightly routine, he is submitting to me. By doing chores, tasks and housework, he is submitting to me. By wearing panties for me he is submitting to me. By massaging my feet, my back, my butt or my whatever he is submitting to me. Be letting me be the final  overriding authority in most matters large and small he is submitting to me. The more I dominate him the more he becomes sexually and mentally aroused. The more he becomes sexually and mentally aroused, the more he wants to be dominated. So in many ways this is a closed loop system. I dominate him, he becomes aroused and feels a need for more domination. The more I dominate him the more he does become aroused , it keeps looping over and over. He is just wired in such a way where he craves domination from me and the sexual and mental arousal associated with that domination provides a feeling of euphoria and satisfaction for him.

Why do I want him to do the laundry for me?

Asides from the more obvious answer to the question - so I don’t have to, I have come to realize the importance of the act to our relationship and what it symbolizes. It is part of the feedback loop which is essential to maintaining our FLR relationship. It also signifies my loving acceptance of his slightly different inner workings.

My job in the feedback loop, especially as a loving and caring partner, is to channel this slightly atypical craving of his in a responsible and loving  manner which is overall positive to his well being as well as my own. For whatever reason he came to me wired this way. It took many years of marriage to fully manifest itself. Trust and acceptance come with the passage of time and the deepening of affections.  I can accept him or turn him away. We’ve been married for over 25 years so I think the answer is that I accept him. He is a wonderful man. He is a wonderful father (grown kids). He is a responsible and strong man in every way.  He just has this slightly different wiring of his brain which thrives on submission and domination to and from me. The bottom line when all is said and done, I am providing him with everything which he needs to be physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually happy.  By chance and very happy coincidence for myself,  what makes him happy  also makes me one very happy and content woman. Its much more than getting the laundry done for me. So for us it has become a win win situation. 

I am without a doubt and by a huge margin, much happier with this condition in our married life than without it. I wish, I truly wish, that we had discovered this much earlier in our relationship. The power of doing the wash, who would have ever thought it.

-AJ