Tuesday, September 6, 2022

FLR When Around Others (Guest Post by Robert)

 I’m hoping wives and submissive husbands will share how their FLR is maintained when the

two of you are around others or out in public and you don’t want to offend or upset anyone.

I know when home we’re disciplined in many ways and reminded of our status, but in

public, how is it done?


I’ll share some of our ways and hope you’ll share some of yours. Simple things like always

opening any door for her, including the car coming and going, always replying “yes, ma’am,”

or “no, ma’am” when spoken to, and not speaking unless spoken to (with the rare exception

when we’re grocery shopping together and I may see a good deal or remember an item we

forgot to put on our list and may point it out), and the like. 


Also, as with many in FLRs, we know that though our penis is attached to me, it belongs to

her… even when it’s just a hose. Fittingly, I’m required to ask permission to use a rest room

when out and about. Permission is usually immediately given, but can be denied or delayed.

I can only recall once when I didn’t ask permission and just told her I was going to the rest

room while we were at Target. She immediately stopped me and reminded me I had to ask

permission, which I quickly did while also apologizing. “Not yet,” is all she said.

She told me to go to the adult diaper section and buy a small package in my size. With some

trepidation, I did as I was told. Once we were back in the car, she put a diaper in a cloth bag

and told me to go back to the men’s room at Target and put it on, placing the panties I was

wearing in the bag and then come back. With a red face, I obeyed. Finally, as she was

driving us home, she asked if I still needed to use the rest room. I had been needing to pee

for quite a while and told her “yes, please” and she said I could go ahead and do it there. I

then did as I was told and she suddenly “remembered” something we’d forgotten at Target.

Stopping at the grocery store, she told me to go in and get it, which I did, feeling the wet

diaper and hoping no one could tell I was wearing it. I was finally allowed to remove my

diaper and clean myself up about two or three hours after we go home, having had to fill it

one more time.


I’ve never forgotten to ask permission again as I know each car’s trunk has a diaper.

In the summer, we like to have another couple or two over for happy hour in our lovely back

yard now and again. The daughter of a bar keeper, she likes to mix the drinks. A day or two

before company comes, I am often required to masturbate into a glass (of course, she

supervises). She adds about an equal amount of water and freezes the contents in a special

ice cube tray. When making the drinks, my glass has my special “cum cubes” while everyone

else has regular rocks. As they melt in the whisky, I can see my semen as I slowly enjoy my

drink, knowing I’m pleasing her by being submissive.


I hope others can share their thoughts and methods. Thanks so much.


Robert, a submissive husband

31 comments:

  1. Robert it is good that you submit to your wife’s leadership. I would never wear a diaper or drink my semen nor would my wife ever tell me to. Around others I am required to always be courteous and respectful to my wife and other women including young girls. I must never interrupt when females are speaking and generally stay in the background unless motioned to her side. In restaurants my wife orders for both of us and I always pay the bill. When we have guests at our home, I am responsible for preparing and serving dinner and drinks. I must also make sure the house is spotless before the guests arrive and after they leave. I like when she gets compliments about our home or the food and tells me later. I enjoy being my wife’s cook, housekeeper, chauffeur, gardener, maintenance man, masseuse, and whatever else she needs. In public she often refers to me as her househusband.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You and I have very similar views and marriages.

      Delete
  2. We are not really into being public with our relationship. However, when we will be with other couples my Wife will remind me to “make it obvious that you treat me better than any of the other guys do their Wives. I want it to be obvious that you are pussy-whipped.” (and I am proud to be) Edwin

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks robert for submitting a guest post and sharing how things work in your relationship. Here are a few insights into my WLM in regards to being in public and around others: While I am very private about my WLM (except on this blog :) ), we've been in a a WLM for so long, that is an integral and natural part of our every day life. Those who are friends with us know that my husband always defers to me for decisions and asks for permission from me to do things. In public I will tell him to fetch me things such as a drink, or to grab my bag, etc. and he jumps to do it. I often proudly share with people how that puts gas in my car, cleans the bathroom, and irons my clothes. He will also tell people that he loves to treat me like a Goddess. My sense is that family and friends know that I call the shots and he follows. On the more private side, he wears panties under his clothes 24/7 and I regularly require him to wear other things under his clothes in public such as a cock ring or butt plug.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm grateful you published my note, Ma'am. You reminded me that my wife hasn't pumped gas in six years!! Robert, a submissive husband

      Delete
    2. My wife is also very private about details of our relationship. Every once in a while, she will mention (in front of our kids, for example) things like "I'm always right, don't you think so dear?" or "He'll do anything that I tell him to, isn't that right dear?" and of course I wholeheartedly agree (and every time I adore her even more for it), but that's about as far as she takes it.

      I used to not worry about what my wife would think of my decisions. If I wanted to go to somewhere on the other side of the world, I'd make the plans, and shoot her a copy of the itinerary, and she'd have to deal with it. Now, I ask approval before making any decisions that would have any impact on her at all; I am not at all embarrassed that she has me by the balls, and in fact I feel quite proud to be so well trained (she has made me completely addicted to this, and all I want now is to become a better husband). And I have apologized for my previous disrespect to her; I wish I had been trained strictly by her from the start, and it would have avoided many mistakes of mine. I hope to have many decades to spoil her beyond reason, to show her how thankful I am to be hers.

      My wife has no interest in kink, whatsoever. No butt plugs or women's clothing or even cock rings. But a metal cock cage? She will tell you that it has worked wonders on me.

      Delete
  4. When Ma'am and I are in public, we use subtle methods of interacting that reflect traditional "gentlemanly" manners towards her and others, and defer to her leadership without making the D/s dynamic explicit.

    I am expected to open doors for her. I use "Yes Ma'am" and "No Ma'am" unless that is likely to draw unwanted attention. She may give me orders rather than requests, and I am expected to follow them. When walking along a street, I am expected to walk closer to the street, and she walks closer to the building. In crowded circumstances I move ahead of her to make a path for her through the crowd. (I am bigger than her). At meals I am expected to wait until she starts eating and she gives me subtle permission to start my own meal. If I want to do something, I ask her for permission by asking, "Do you mind if I..." I am expected to pay attention to her needs and try to anticipate them, and ask if she needs or wants something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds wonderful. I like the one about not eating until she gives you permission. Also, anticipating her needs is an excellent attribute to have and one that many subs need to learn. Too often subs expect to be told everything to do and that is just too tiring for us Goddesses.

      Delete
    2. About anticipating needs... this seems difficult. I read a lot about Female led wives who dont like that their sub has somewhat of a free will because they will end up in making mistakes or swap priorities by mistake. They want their orders perfectly done like they express them. Im not sure which is the right approach.

      Delete
    3. There’s so much I’d like to comment on in these columns…my wife and I have been in a evolving FLR since 2018 and it’s to the point where I have responsibility for most of the chores around the house and we have engage some domination,”play”.
      We both have busy work, family and social responsibilities, but like most of the men in my position or so it seems, I yearn for more direction and control. I’ve found that too much begging for attention and mindful direction puts more stress and burden on my wife’s already busy life. So being aware and anticipating her needs is one of the services I can provide that brings real value to her life. Bonus, everything I do for her eases my frustrations and makes our FLR stronger!
      Btw, last week I prepared a full course dinner for my Mistress and myself, when I served the appetizer she asked, no told me to massage her feet, we were sitting at our kitchen counter, so I sat on the floor and started rubbing her feet. I remained there on the floor for the entire meal, except for times I had to get to up to pour her wine or serve her meal.
      Oh, and she fed me along our lab, Lulu while sitting on the floor. Best steak I’ve had in years!

      Delete
  5. Interesting? It’s kind of funny that a lot of the expectations here are taken straight out of the guidelines for gentlemen. Walk on the street side, make way for your lady, and anticipate what her needs might be. Always protecting the ladies and thinking of them. Guess it is a bit timeless. Everyone wants to feel needed and desired, it can just take different forms. Thanks for all the thoughts.
    CC

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true. Well-trained submissivess are prefect gentlemen

      Delete
    2. sometimes I have to gently remind my wife that I go DOWN the stairs first and UP the stairs behind her. LOL. Robert, a submissive husband

      Delete
  6. Thank you for sharing. You are obviously a good boy.
    Your wife was assertive and appropriate in the moment, which is always the best approach for coaching and discipline. It seems to me that this was a strong coaching moment for you. I am curious pet, were you aroused during the experience. Alison

    ReplyDelete
  7. As my wife became more dominant over the years it became harder to fully "hide" from others, most notably her closest friends. Though she never explicitly discussed details in front of them (at least that I'm aware of) things have progressed to where I now clean the homes/apartments of several of her friends throughout the month on various weekends. And under the guise of "practice" I also have given several of these women pedicures here and there while they visit/chat with my wife. Both experiences are humbling but also thrilling.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Question - When you are in second marriages, how do you deal with possibly explaining it to your adult children (especially sons)? Does it become awkward since they currently see you as the strong figure in their life? Does your Ex look at you differently after hearing about it (presumably from the adult children)?
    Once the children look down at you for being a submissive how did you deal with explaining to them a submissive father is not weak (especially convincing a son you aren't worthless and weak)? Sorry I seem like the "Riddler".

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi. My name is Okan. We are into flm with my lovely wife for 2 years. When We are in public I always carry her bag...all the time...and shopping bags also...
    Secondly she loves to untie the shoelace of her sneakers and ordering me to tie them...We do it in crowded coffees and in crowded squares...sometimes 3 times a day...she unties them when nobody is looking...and than Like she just noticed it she tells me "tie my shows honey" ...
    also when with friends she starts talking about how I do almost all the house work...how she decided to do something and I had to say yes...
    in the Parks or City squares she finds a place to sit for only one person...so she sits and I have to stand with her bag and shopping bags on my hands...she starts chatting with me relaxed and legs crossed but I have to stand and answer her questions...people sitting near or around starts watching us...
    These are some little games We play when We are in public...

    ReplyDelete
  10. FLR in public from my wife is subtle yet effective and humiliating for me and perhaps obvious to others in the lifestyle - I am required to carry her pocketbook in shopping malls and public events.
    She wears the key to my chastity either around her neck or on her ankle bracelet. When her friends are over the house, I serve them drinks and food and they see me performing household chores including the wash, dishes etc. while my wife’s friends make comments about how lucky she is to have a husband like me who cleans and treats them so well. Occasionally she makes comments while I am serving them about what a perfect match we are as husband and wife because she is bossy and likes to be served and I like be bossed around - which she then has me confirm in front of them while they all nod theirs heads approvingly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can I ask why does it have to be humiliating? Why can't you just serve her with dignity and honor? Shouldn't a partner want to see their significant other uplifted? Just some questions from an inquiring man.

      Delete
    2. Fair question : the fact is that different people enjoy different experiences. Some submissive husbands are in fact happy to serve with honor and dignity. Others, including myself crave humiliation and their wives are happy to provide it - verbal humiliation including SPH - wearing the key 🔑 to her husband’s chastity in public are all part of the humiliation. - not for everyone of course but definitely enjoyed by a good percentage of couples in a FLR.

      Delete
  11. I miss our times when we lived in the the Bay Area , my wife/owner and i lived there for 8 years , we had a lot of friends who were very open about female domination and our particular friends well I guess from what I read on this blog we were very open and really more like TPE than FLR and that is a world of difference , in San Francisco well when we lived there we found friends that not only believed in female superiority but lived it too, and very openly, our group of friends walked the streets in the evening many times Dominant woman holding there slaves collard on a leash , that’s San Francisco watch Fulton street Fair videos , for us it was great our living there and my marriage well it was transformed there I became a cuckold slave I had no rights no safe words and no say in any decision the rule was obey without question and it was just what my owner wanted and needed it and in turn I really needed it too. Fantasy became reality, what I see when I read this blog well it seems flr is like a game playing like a lot of talking back and forth between couples is that acceptable will my husband be ok with this or that , and in our group of friends well it was understood that husbands were owned property and wife’s ruled without worrying about what anyone thought about it and from then on my wife has lovers outside our marriage when a husband is put in chastity the next step is usually cuckolding that’s been our experience and in the case of my wife well she loves black men in bed but she can’t really live with her lovers we tried that and yes my wife loves a strong black stud in bed but now she feels that she cannot live with that dominant of a man in her daily life she needs a slave and that’s why I have my place in her world and my owner enjoys punishing me the whipping the discipline It’s the knowing that she has me on the leash that I completely obey that I’m only hers and the effect on me is I love her with all my heart and soul and she has complete freedom with me sexually and in everyday life I know for my owner and i well we left our hearts and are old life’s in San Francisco and business has brought away from the west coast and except for NYC Area we have to live under cover thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad you enjoy your TPE, but if that was the only FLR option presented to me by my girlfriend she would have 2 choices. Either forget about the FLR in that flavor or forget about us having a relationship. A great leader doesn't have to resort to humiliation (physical or emotional), orgasm control (voluntary or with a chastity cage) or financial (either partial or full). I am investigating FLRs because I saw some benign articles that said this relationship style is more equitable than most. But seeing several posts with TOE and Cuckolding I would like to challenge these article to authors on why they think this is more equitable with these 2 elements being prevent in plenty of typical FLR relationship posts. Again this is where I get my impression of real FLR relationships because I didn't see them in the Midwestern USA on the streets.

      Delete
    2. I think you are being a bit judgmental here - to each his own - erotic humiliation with chastity and or cuckold elements is just a fun thing between consenting adults; if not for you - so be it !

      Delete
  12. Well It started out as kind of sexual game playing thing but as time went on we transformed into an FLR and when we joined the Janus organization it became a more serious TPE relationship a lifestyle that’s always growing and complete sexual freedom for my owner was just the next step in our evolution and my mind became I guess transformed I just don’t challenge her authority I accept it and well we feel it’s like the ultimate love on her part that she would want to Own me with such passion and she was willing to take on that responsibility of training me it’s true she punishes me for my mistakes and she gives regular whippings to maintain my submissiveness to her authority and well it made me love her so much more, I mean I lost this macho male ego thing and it’s hard to explain but I’m controlled to such a degree and yet I feel free and really good about it , I’m not disillusioned by people who don’t understand but dominant women usually get it and it’s the men that still haven’t lost their male ego who find fault with a femdom TPE marriage I found it to be a great lifestyle and the subject of cuckolding, first its her right to do that and secondly I want her to have her freedom sexually or just in life in general and I feel it’s none of my business if she shares that part of our relationship or if she keeps it to herself ,that’s the key that she should be very happy and completely sexually satisfied in her life that’s why I love the TPE and my owner well I love her and worship her there’s nothing more important to me then pleasing my owner thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In order to be cuckolded a woman needs to believe a man needs to be a dominant to be a sexual partner. Doesn't that fly against the principles of a FLR? In my opinion when a woman cheats on her submissive by having sex with another man she is actually saying she doesn't believe in the concept of FLR at all. For sex she needs an alpha male because she can not be a dominant and be satisfied sexually. I would think that all people (male and female) who truly believe in FLRs would be truly against the concept of Cuckolding.

      Delete
    2. Cheating and cuckolding are two different things aren’t they

      Delete
  13. Cheating and cuckolding are two different things

    ReplyDelete
  14. In either case the woman believes her husband is pathetic in the sexual fulfillment department. She is typically looking for a more "manly" male. Isn't a more manly "male" going against the concept of a female LED relationship? I think I'm that situation she is looking for a male Led sexual relationship no matter how short the experience.

    ReplyDelete
  15. You seem to have a very specific idea of what a woman is thinking when she cuckolds her man. You have been watching too much fatnasy porn. Cuckolding in a real relationship is nothing like you describe. In most cases, the wife is doing it to satisfy the man's fantasy and not because she thinks he is pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  16. If my female partner would ever mention even the slightest hint of cuckolding I would need to evaluate whether we had a relationship or not. Even though I am passive I demand loyalty with my partner (I also give her the same loyalty). That is why I strongly feel that cuckolding is cheating. To me, since I would never consent, it would be cheating and have to be dealt as such. Also in my eyes it is easier for a leader (dominant) to cheat than a follower (submissive). To me I could not look at a woman who cuckolded her husband the same way again because she would lose my respect. It might be harsh but that is how I feel.

    ReplyDelete
  17. That is not harsh at all. That is how you feel and it should be respected. If you do not consent, then it should not be done. I do not cuckold my husband because I like what I have and frankly, have no interest in meeting other guys. However, i understand that others enjoy and accept cuckolding and I have nothing against those that want to incorporate it into their marriage. I can see how it can be a very fun dynamic.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.