Submissive Birthday Fun

Birthdays in my house are something special. When it is my Birthday, I am treated like a Queen, pampered, showered with gifts, and not having to lift a finger.  It is my special day and I love it! On my submissive husband’s birthday, he gets a different type of treatment. Let’s just say that for me, it’s very similar to my Birthday.  I get pampered and treated like a Queen. What is different is that I do have to lift a finger. I lift a finger to order him to fetch me things and run errands for me. I lift a finger to give him one spank with my riding crop for every year of his life. He’s a few years past 50 so he was a little red afterward. Now don’t be concerned for him- they were playful spanks. I like to hold his cock while I spank him and he was practically cumming in my hand during the spanking. The bottom line is that on his birthday, the strict and demanding Mistress in me surfaces.

This year on his special day, I had him bathe me and shave my legs. Then I slipped into a latex mini-dress and black heels with studded straps around my ankles – one of his favorite outfits. Next, he was ordered to his knees to worship my shoes with his tongue. Soon after his tongue was worshipping my ass as a reminder of his place in our marriage. His next treat was an intense cock tease from me. I brought him to the edge of orgasm several times. Then I tied him to the bed and queened him until I came all over his face. So delicious!  Now you may think that the grand finale for him was an orgasm. Not so! I stopped giving him birthday orgasms several years ago, when he came up with this not so brilliant idea that he should be able to have sex with me on his birthday, without any control from me and no restrictions. In other words, have sex with me like a regular man. Ha! Was he crazy!  When he first suggested it to me, years ago a few weeks before his birthday, I kept my composure and told him I would think about it.  Then on his big day, I informed him that his request was denied!  I told him that he gave up that right the day he committed to a FLR and asked me to control him. I let him know that as a submissive husband he will never get to have unrestricted sex with me. I remember his cock getting harder the more I talked about this. I think he was dropping into subspace as he heard his fate laid out for him.

Back to his current night…after my orgasm, I left him tied to the bed to calm down, and then I went downstairs to relax.  About 30 minutes later, I untied him. Happy Birthday Husband!  The gifts on his birthday are quite fun too. I love the irony that the gifts I give him are things that make him mushy and weak for me and push him deeper under my control. This year it was a pair of silk and lace panties and a butt plug that is slightly larger than the current one he wears when doing errands for me. Out with the old and in with the new! On his birthday, I made him force the new plug into his ass and slip into his new silky panties. And yes, he was weak and all mushy for me in no time. Fun!

Hearing all this, one may think I am cruel and mean to my husband. I still laugh at how one year, many years ago, our young daughter saw me ordering my husband around and she said, “Mom, how come you are making Dad do all these things for you. It’s his birthday.”  My husband did not miss a beat, and said to her, “It’s okay. I enjoy doing these things for Mom. I like to make her happy.”  He was being totally honest.  For a submissive hubby, being subject to the control of the strict Mistress is a dream birthday. Years ago, I would ask my husband what he wanted for his birthday. His response was always the same – “You don’t need to buy me gifts. Just give me a night of intense domination.”  After a few years of hearing this, I finally stopped asking and just planned a fun day for him and me.

-Mz Kaylee

On The Fourth Day of Christmas.....

Ahhhh.....Google decided to lock me out for a few days again for no apparent reason. So frustrating!. I am back again so let's get back on track with this!  

Fill in the blank:  

On the 4thth day of Christmas my Mistress gave to me:

Four calling ________

Three French Cut Panties

Two Blue Balls

And a Paddle in a pair Tree!!!

The Strange and Exciting Submissive Male

This post is a culmination of all the things I’ve learned about submissive men through my own experience with my husband, through hours and hours of reading I have done on FLRs/Femdom, and through the many people whom I’ve corresponded with over the years since I started “Femdom Think Tank.”  I was inspired to write this post from recent comments on the blog bout how chastity devices were barbaric and cruel. I often see comments on my posts where people say I am not loving or that they feel sorry for my husband. When I see these comments, it is obvious to me that they are from people who are not naturally submissive and do not understand the submissive mind. They don’t understand that there are thousands of men who dream of being locked in chastity and being held captive by a female. It is just how the submissive mind works! I can tell you with 100% confidence that my husband is happy and is living out his fantasy. He would be depressed if we went back to a normal marriage. There is also no debate that our marriage is loving. We are a very close couple and are very much in love with each other. Having a WLM has made us communicate with each other more frequently and openly and has strengthened the bond between us. I can understand how those who are not submissive would react in a negative way to some of the more extreme forms of domination. Hopefully this post will bring some understanding that female domination in a loving relationship is not about being cruel but is an expression of love. Enjoy! -Mz Kaylee

I believe that many men are naturally wired to be submissive. They are born this way. The Natural Born Submissive man thinks very differently about women and sex compared to other men. It is almost as if they live in a parallel universe…a 4th dimension. At first these submissive men just barely touch on that 4th dimension. It lives in their daydreams and fantasies. If they are lucky enough, they discover a female who taps into their submission and they are slowly or perhaps quickly immersed into this parallel universe.

Natural Submissive Men (NSM) have a much different attitude toward females and sexual situations compared to other men. They are on the shy side when it comes to sexual or intimate situations with new females. NSMs are hesitant to make the first move and are secretly hoping she does. In their fantasies, the women are almost always dominant towards them. The NSM fantasizes mostly about a woman strongly coming onto them or that the female is forcing them into a sexual or humiliating situation. Being tied up or captured by the female may be a recurring fantasy. As they delve deeper into their submissive fantasies, and become highly aroused, their fantasies become more bizarre or extreme. Some common themes that can become arousing for the NSM are being feminized, bound and spanked, teased about their small cock, treated like a dog, or being forced to eat their cum or drink their pee. Are these fantasies that non-submissive men have? Probably not. I’d venture a guess that most men would find these fantasies to be ridiculous and off-putting. The NSM may feel ashamed after masturbating to these fantasies but he can never stop himself from having such bizarre fantasies.

So far I’ve just touched on the fantasy aspects of the NSM. It is unfortunate that a lot of these men never make it past the fantasy stage because of social norms that make them feel embarrassed or afraid to admit their submissive desires to a female. I would also imagine it is a challenge to find females willing to entertain these desires. For those men who are lucky enough to find a female who is willing to tap into his submission….well that’s when things get real interesting….That’s when they move into that parallel universe.

The NSM has a deep burning desire to feel controlled and manipulated by a female. Succumbing to her authority is arousing to him. Being seduced by her into doing something humiliating or against his will is arousing to him. The particular scenarios that excite him may vary from one man to another but the overarching idea of being seduced or manipulated is what arouses naturally submissive men. So a common theme here is arousal. Yes, the NSM is highly driven by his dick. Of course, that is the one thing he has in common with most men (Ha! ha!). The difference is that NSM’s arousal is derived from being submissive whereas other men are aroused by more typical sex scenarios. In fact, the submissive scenarios would likely be a turn-off to other men and seem bizarre and even cruel. On the flip side, the typical man’s fantasy may seem too dull or normal to the submissive man.

So the NSM who connects with a dominant woman, suddenly finds that some of his fantasies become his reality. He craves for his girlfriend/wife/Mistress to be strict with him. He wants to be punished. He wants to be spanked and humiliated by her. These things give him an erotic rush. His desire for the rush is so strong and he knows these things are not typical and so he is willing to do whatever it takes to please the woman in order to experience these things. Her acknowledgement of his submissiveness and kinks is acceptance of him, and that make him feel good.

The exciting and a bit dangerous thing about submission, is that it is addictive. When a female taps into his submission, it is exciting for him and it is never enough. The more she taps into it, the more he wants it. This is what creates power for the female. The dominate female uses that power to force obedience from the submissive. This is where we enter the 4th dimension that is highly misunderstood by those who are not submissive or dominant. In this dimension, humiliation, manipulation, and punishment are accepted and part of the norm. Orgasm control, and yes – locking up his dick, are not only accepted, but are exciting aspects of the relationship for many people.

The smart dominant woman uses these tools to motivate her man to serve her, work hard for her, and elevate her to a Goddess status. It is not cruel at all. Quite the contrary it is a win-win…a perfect symbiosis. He gets to live out his fantasies and she gets to live like a Queen. Furthermore, when he is in a meaningful relationship and channels his submissive craving towards serving his partner, suddenly his need for domination becomes meaningful and fulfilling as opposed to just empty fantasies.

I refer to it all as a parallel or 4th dimension, because to the typical person, the inner workings of a FLR seems cruel, strange, and perverted. However, when you are in this parallel universe, immersed into a loving female led relationship, these “strange and cruel” things are actually motivators and acts of love. My husband lives in this parallel universe. It always amazes me at how much he wants to feel my control. He thinks about it and desires it on a daily basis. Orgasm control and the use of longer term orgasm denial has made his desire to be controlled even stronger. When I tease his cock to the brink of orgasm over and over again, his mind transforms and he wants to be completely dominated, humiliated and manipulated. This is his sub-space. It is like the more perverted or more extreme the humiliation I exert, the more exciting it is for him. When he is in sub-space, I can make him do or agree to just about anything. It is exciting for him and it is exciting for me to have complete control over him.

By the time I’ve pushed my husband into that subspace, I am also highly aroused because it is exciting for me to see him consumed in his arousal and completely subservient to me. Most times, I will take advantage of the situation by ordering him to pleasure me ins some way or I will be very dominant during sex, using him like my own personal sex toy. It always makes for great sex. While that is a fantastic scenario for him, it is not his ideal outcome. Remember, in his crazed aroused state, he desires perversion or humiliation. On Some occasions I will entertain that desire. I may gag him with my used panties or order him to worship my ass with his tongue or I may take him over my lap and spank him with my riding crop. I’ve collared and leashed him and walked him around like a dog. Making him stand perfectly still while I inspect his body is another fun thing to do. Something totally unexpected that I discovered, is often times these weird kinky moments become deeply intimate and bring us closer together as couple.  Weird right? If I had not experienced it, I would not believe it myself but it is true and I have had others share that they have experienced the same type of emotional bonding. My sense is that the willingness of both partners to let go of their inhibitions and be vulnerable with each other, allows them to connect on a deep level. It is amazing and very exciting.

It seems to me (and I could be wrong), that this deep level of intimacy with female domination can only occur in relationships where there is trust and love. When there is both trust and love, each person can completely open up and be vulnerable without concern. I mentioned earlier that the nature of NSM can be dangerous. NSM are vulnerable to strong dominant women and if a woman has bad intentions, then NSM are susceptible to be taken advantage by her and to being hurt. For this reason, it is important for the male in a newer FLR to set boundaries and approach the FLR with caution.

However, the naturally submissive man who finds himself in a loving female led relationship, will find bliss and fulfillment is serving and yielding to her. He knows that her dominance and control are acts of love.

-Mz Kaylee

FLR When Around Others (Guest Post by Robert)

 I’m hoping wives and submissive husbands will share how their FLR is maintained when the

two of you are around others or out in public and you don’t want to offend or upset anyone.

I know when home we’re disciplined in many ways and reminded of our status, but in

public, how is it done?

I’ll share some of our ways and hope you’ll share some of yours. Simple things like always

opening any door for her, including the car coming and going, always replying “yes, ma’am,”

or “no, ma’am” when spoken to, and not speaking unless spoken to (with the rare exception

when we’re grocery shopping together and I may see a good deal or remember an item we

forgot to put on our list and may point it out), and the like. 

Also, as with many in FLRs, we know that though our penis is attached to me, it belongs to

her… even when it’s just a hose. Fittingly, I’m required to ask permission to use a rest room

when out and about. Permission is usually immediately given, but can be denied or delayed.

I can only recall once when I didn’t ask permission and just told her I was going to the rest

room while we were at Target. She immediately stopped me and reminded me I had to ask

permission, which I quickly did while also apologizing. “Not yet,” is all she said.

She told me to go to the adult diaper section and buy a small package in my size. With some

trepidation, I did as I was told. Once we were back in the car, she put a diaper in a cloth bag

and told me to go back to the men’s room at Target and put it on, placing the panties I was

wearing in the bag and then come back. With a red face, I obeyed. Finally, as she was

driving us home, she asked if I still needed to use the rest room. I had been needing to pee

for quite a while and told her “yes, please” and she said I could go ahead and do it there. I

then did as I was told and she suddenly “remembered” something we’d forgotten at Target.

Stopping at the grocery store, she told me to go in and get it, which I did, feeling the wet

diaper and hoping no one could tell I was wearing it. I was finally allowed to remove my

diaper and clean myself up about two or three hours after we go home, having had to fill it

one more time.

I’ve never forgotten to ask permission again as I know each car’s trunk has a diaper.

In the summer, we like to have another couple or two over for happy hour in our lovely back

yard now and again. The daughter of a bar keeper, she likes to mix the drinks. A day or two

before company comes, I am often required to masturbate into a glass (of course, she

supervises). She adds about an equal amount of water and freezes the contents in a special

ice cube tray. When making the drinks, my glass has my special “cum cubes” while everyone

else has regular rocks. As they melt in the whisky, I can see my semen as I slowly enjoy my

drink, knowing I’m pleasing her by being submissive.

I hope others can share their thoughts and methods. Thanks so much.

Robert, a submissive husband

Never Too Old To Learn Something New (Guest post by Edward)

A good submissive is one that makes himself useful and valuable to his owner/wife. The more useful he becomes to her, the more easy it is for her to enjoy and embrace the FLR/WLM lifestyle. It is not all about sexual domination. The guest post below demonstrates this perfectly. I love the new skill that Edward is developing and refining, as well as the training method employed.  -Mz Kaylee 

 Never Too Old To Learn Something New

by Edward

About eight months ago, I was sitting in the family room watching a show on Netflix, while my wife was sewing up a tear she had put into the leg of her blue jeans.  I casually mentioned to her that I had seen a documentary named “The True Cost” produced in 2015.   I pointed out to her that many people just literally donate clothes to recycle stores with only minor tears, and many are donated after being worn once, or not even at all.  I had also learned the term Fast Fashion from that documentary.  She became interested, and we ended out watching it together.  It literally floored her at the volume of used clothes that these second

hand stores can’t deal with, and they get shipped off to foreign nations, and ultimately burnt over there, because they don’t want them either.

This got her thinking about something while we were watching the television.  She started questioning, why if her husband is supposed to be doing all the household work, then why is she the one sewing up her own jeans?  At the end of the program, she told me I would be learning how to sew..…by hand.

That weekend, the two of us went to our local Goodwill store, where I asked if we could search through their discard bins for clothes that were too far gone for them to sell.  I had planned to tell them I was looking for stuff to cut up for shop rags.  But my wife told them I was needing practice material to learn how to sew.   My wife picked out my practice clothes for me, to be sure I got variety.   We left with three garbage bags packed full of half destroyed jeans, shirts missing buttons, T-shirts, Ladies skirts, and clothes with separated seams etc.  These were all to be repaired, and practiced on by me every night by hand.

I’ve learned how to properly use a stitch remover to tear out a seam, and close it evenly again.   I’ve cut off the bottoms of many jean legs, and sewed in the hem, and learned to measure to keep both leg hems even.  She started me off with old jeans.  I would cut off an inch from the bottom, and sew in the hem.   Put in the hem, then cut my stitches, tear it right back out, and put it in again.  Hem, remove, measure, pin, stitch, remove, then repeat over, and over.  This is how I learned to alter pants evenly, with even stitches.  I certainly learned the importance of good quality, sharp scissors.  Next it was onto bringing in, and letting out the waist on endless pairs of discarded pants.  

From there, she advanced me to altering the waist on skirts, measuring, and hemming women’s pants.  I’ve also removed all the buttons from countless shirt fronts and cuffs then immediately sewn them back on.  This taught me how to place buttons evenly, and secure them well.  I believe I have completed every kind of fabric repair I can imagine.  I’m much better at hitting the eye of the needle with the thread now.  I learned patience, and frustration control through all of this. Patience was rigidly enforced by my wife, when I began removing, and sewing in skirt zippers again, and again.  Rotating through five skirts, I removed, and put the zipper back in multiple times on each.  Each night after my minimum two hours of sewing practice, I was to end smiling, and content.  Occasionally on a weekend, she allows me to put off the regular housekeeping, and practice my sewing for up to six hours.  Again, I’ve been ordered to end in a good mood, or else.

I’ve learned so much about thread.  There’s general purpose, Polyester, Rayon, and Nylon, just to name a few.  Thread weight, 40, 50, 60 etc, then there’s matching the thread content to my fabric content.  Next is choosing the proper needle for each particular job.  A year ago, I knew none of this.  I can now do the running stitch, backstitch, blanket stitch, ladder stitch, Herringbone, and flat fell stitches, and know which are appropriate in what situation.   We went to the fabric store together the first time to pick up some thread that my wife didn’t have.  But now I’m going in alone.  Given that most husbands never enter a fabric store, the staff now know me by name.

Once I’ve washed, ironed, and folded the clothes I haven’t destroyed, they are donated back to the store, where they can decide whether to sell, or toss them again.  I’m sure they’re being thrown out.  While we are there, my wife fills another three garbage bags with discarded varied pieces for me.  She just recently trusted me with one older pair of pants of hers that she wanted the pant leg let down on.  Believe me, I’m not even close to being an accomplished seamstress…. yet.   But I’m doing my best, still working at it, and improving.  

Upon discovering the joy of serving her in this manner, I asked my wife if I could please take a discarded dress, remove all the stitches, lay out, and look at all the pieces, then sew them all together again.  She happily agreed to this, but told me it was on the condition that I’d be doing this with multiple dresses of varying styles.  

She also made me this offer.   Once she is satisfied with my workmanship, she would pick a pattern I will cut out, then I’ll make myself one from scratch, start to finish, but under her supervision.   Now I have something to work towards, and serious motivation to progress, and improve! 

What does my wife get out of this?  Hopefully soon she won’t have any sewing to do unless she wants to.   What woman wouldn’t want that?  Meanwhile I get the satisfaction of being controlled in one more manner by my wife.  While being proud that as her househusband, I am now capable of taking another tedious task off her responsibility list.

To all submissive husbands, don’t be afraid to learn the skill of sewing if you haven’t already.   Sewing is eventually very enjoyable and I promise; do it properly, and you will absolutely win the admiration of your wife, and leader.  

(Edward) 

  

Clothing and the Submissive Male (Guest post by Nancy a.k.a Edwin)

 Clothes are never ‘just“ clothes. They convey meaning, sometimes about social

status, or role expectations, sometimes about power, and definitely about

gender. When we hear the word “panty” or see a skirt or a dress on a hanger, we

immediately think female. Certain manners of dress (a business suit or military

uniform) imply authority, and others (semi-nakedness, nakedness, or a maid’s

uniform) signals submission.

Some items of clothing have been unconsciously fetishized in early imprinting

(more common with males, obviously), and once they become a part of the

psyche, generally this does not change. Submissive males often feel increasingly

submissive around women dressed in leather, for example, or (my personal

weakness) dressed in heels, nylons, and a business suit.

There seems to be two broad categories in the use of female clothing with the

submissive in Femdom relationships: 1) Forced feminization of the otherwise

“macho male” who finds it humiliating and emasculating to wear female clothing,

and 2) The crossdressing submissive who wishes to emulate his female superior

and views wearing female clothing as a privilege. In both instances, panty training

and the introduction of other items of female clothing in the FLR relationship can

be extremely powerful.

For the male who “fears” panties and other items of women’s lingerie, being

required to wear them as a testament to his devotion and/or as a punishment has

endless potential, including requiring underdressing at work or in social situations,

shopping trips, etc. Colors and styles are also very important. For the male who

fears being emasculated, the pinker and lacier the better. For the crossdressing

submissive, the pinker and lacier, the more he will find the lingerie or panties

thrilling and rewarding.

I fall into the latter category. My wife has never been one hundred per cent

comfortable with my desire to wear women’s clothes, although she has totally

accepted that I wear only women’s underwear. She has, for many years, even

before we embraced FLR, controlled what else she would allow me to wear and

when (all this in a very real sense a precursor to FLR). All my panties are pink,

pastels, or floral. None of hers are. Most, in fact, are black. My pajamas are also

what would be considered more traditionally feminine than hers. However, how

we present to the public outside of our home is distinctly traditional. She dresses

quite feminine, and I am prone to flannel shirts, jeans, etc.

Here’s the thing: I know that I may wear panties or anything feminine only

because she allows it and I view doing so as a privilege that could be lost at any

time. I must ask her permission to buy anything new beyond panties and to wear

anything besides panties and my fem pajamas. Sometimes she will tell me that I

must wait until she is not in the house because she does not want to see it. I have

lost “panty privileges,” and I have earned panty shopping trips when she will take

me, help me select for both me and her, then leave the store and have me take

them to the counter to complete the purchase. In these ways, she has become

quite adept at using my desires to control me.

My guess is that there are few (maybe no) submissive men who have a neutral

response to wearing women’s underwear and other clothing. They either fear it

or love it. It isn’t that hard to figure out which. Either way, it can be used as a

motivator: a reward or a punishment. My wife uses it for both, and I love her for

it.

Nancy/Edwin