Hi all. Sorry it's been awhile since I posted. Things are a bit busy. I would like to keep this blog going and I could use your help with two things. First, tell me what topics would be of interest to you. There are many things to write about but I want to know what you want to hear. It could be anything from relationship topics to specific femdom kinks.
Second, if you have something to contribute, please e-mail me. One of my visions with this blog is to present different peoples ideals, perspectives, and experiences. Unfortunately a blog format is not the best interactive tool but we can handle this through e-mail. What I am asking is for you to submit to me a well written blog entry that I can post on my blog under your name. My first preference is to receive entries from Females as guys tend to have a one track mind. However, if you are a guy and feel you can write a well-organized and well rounded blog entry, then please do. It would be great to get many different people to contribute. I do not want this blog to be all my views.
Keep in mind that my blog is about promoting and encouraging Female Led Relationships. It is not Femdom fantasy fodder. Anything that fits that fantasy fodder label will not be published. It is o.k. to write about sexual things and kinks but it should be in the context of a FLR and how it benefits the FLR. There are many blogs that talk about the basics of FLR and how to start one but not many go into how to keep the FLR going long after it starts, how the Female can continue to grow her power and control, or how the male can continue to be a better servant and follower of his wife. These are the types of things I would encourage you to write about. Share techniques, experiences, rules, or rituals that work for you and tell us why they work or how they make you feel. It would also be great to read about challenges you faced in your FLR and how you have overcome them or are dealing with them.
If you are a female feel free to send me your writing directly or if you already have a blog and there is an entry in particular that you think fits here, send me the link and with your permission I will republish it here and will also link to your site. If you are a male and want to contribute, e-mail me asking for permission and tell me what your topic will be.
I look forward to your responses.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Mental Fun - Eternal Statements
I enjoy teasing Thomas with is eternal statements. These are statements the remind him that his submission to me is never ending. Some examples that I have used are:
I use item #2 often with many variations. When I am on top of Thomas, either during sex or when I am queening him, I like to remind him that he is never allowed on top and I tell him how sexy and hot he looks beneath me. On occasion, he will end up on top of me or will be moving in that direction and I will simply laugh and ask him what he thinks he's doing and remind him of his place. I may order him off me or I may forcefully roll him over and get on top of him with my full weight. This puts him in his place immediately (and I get a bit of a power rush from this). I have been guilty of baiting him into this situation just so I can roll him over and show my dominance.
I have teased him with the idea of never allowing him to have sex with me again. His tongue and fingers can do wonders and is he even worthy of having sex with a Goddess? (I have asked him that question) lol. The idea of denying him this pleasure forever is exciting to me but I don't think it I could do without it. As it stands now, intercourse is a special privilege for him and I only allow that privilege on occasion. He knows that he is lucky when I allow it and that as a submissive it is very special when he is allowed to put his sex inside a Goddess. Most of the time he pleasures me orally. When we do have intercourse, I usually do not allow him to orgasm. On a rare occasion I will allow it. He actually gets a "rush" out of being used like this, where I have an orgasm and he his denied during sex. Frankly I could do without the mess so I enjoy it to. Although I do allow intercourse occasionally, it is fun to put the idea in his head that one day I may choose to deny him this privilege forever.
When I get in these teasing moods, I will tease his cock and tell him how hot and excited I am but that he is not allowed to have sex with me. I will tell him that I know how bad he wants it. This drives him wild and usually gets him begging. Then I go in for the kill. I will get on top of him and rub my sex all around his cock, teasing him but not letting him in. This drives him insane (and me too!). Ultimately I end up on his face, making him lick me to an orgasm while he is denied. This is so much fun for both of us and it has a lingering effect on him for days afterward.
Thomas has admitted to me that when he is aroused and I say these types "eternal statements", it excites him even more and pushes him deeper into submission and maybe even subspace. While some of it borders on fantasy, I truly believe these statements leave a lasting imprint on a submissive's mind and help keep them focused on serving and being obedient. I encourage you to incorporate them into your relationship, even if it is just for fun. Don't worry about having to stick to them. You are the one in control so you can change your mind whenever you want (just don't make a regular habit of it or you will lose credibility). Every once in rare moment I have allowed Thomas to be on top. Sometimes the mood just strikes me. Even thought this might happen, I still ingrain in his mind that he will never be allowed on top. When it does happen, I might say something like, "well consider that a gift. It won't happen again." or "You weren't supposed to be on top. You'll be punished for that."
Saying these types of things over and over again have a lasting impact on you submissive's mind over time. I'm not suggesting using these daily or even weekly. Too much is overkill and it becomes meaningless. My recommendation is to incorporate them into your regular routines throughout the month. For example, whenever you assign a new chore or task you could use #4. If he tells you how great it is serving you, then you can respond with "That's great to hear. This is how your life will always be, so I'm glad you enjoy it." Another option is to pick one and focus in on it for a week or two and then move on. Then you can reinforce it every now and then in the future.
Trust me, these statements are loaded with a "punch" that imprints his mind. He may not react immediately, but when he walks away after hearing one of these, it is still lingering in his mind and he is feeling your control wrap around him. The more he hears statements like this, the more real they become for him. Have fun with it.
Mz Kaylee
- You will never orgasm without my permission
- You are never allowed on top (during sex). Your proper position in life is beneath me
- You will always be my slave
- Starting now and lasting forever.....
- This is your life now
- You exist to serve me.
I use item #2 often with many variations. When I am on top of Thomas, either during sex or when I am queening him, I like to remind him that he is never allowed on top and I tell him how sexy and hot he looks beneath me. On occasion, he will end up on top of me or will be moving in that direction and I will simply laugh and ask him what he thinks he's doing and remind him of his place. I may order him off me or I may forcefully roll him over and get on top of him with my full weight. This puts him in his place immediately (and I get a bit of a power rush from this). I have been guilty of baiting him into this situation just so I can roll him over and show my dominance.
I have teased him with the idea of never allowing him to have sex with me again. His tongue and fingers can do wonders and is he even worthy of having sex with a Goddess? (I have asked him that question) lol. The idea of denying him this pleasure forever is exciting to me but I don't think it I could do without it. As it stands now, intercourse is a special privilege for him and I only allow that privilege on occasion. He knows that he is lucky when I allow it and that as a submissive it is very special when he is allowed to put his sex inside a Goddess. Most of the time he pleasures me orally. When we do have intercourse, I usually do not allow him to orgasm. On a rare occasion I will allow it. He actually gets a "rush" out of being used like this, where I have an orgasm and he his denied during sex. Frankly I could do without the mess so I enjoy it to. Although I do allow intercourse occasionally, it is fun to put the idea in his head that one day I may choose to deny him this privilege forever.
When I get in these teasing moods, I will tease his cock and tell him how hot and excited I am but that he is not allowed to have sex with me. I will tell him that I know how bad he wants it. This drives him wild and usually gets him begging. Then I go in for the kill. I will get on top of him and rub my sex all around his cock, teasing him but not letting him in. This drives him insane (and me too!). Ultimately I end up on his face, making him lick me to an orgasm while he is denied. This is so much fun for both of us and it has a lingering effect on him for days afterward.
Thomas has admitted to me that when he is aroused and I say these types "eternal statements", it excites him even more and pushes him deeper into submission and maybe even subspace. While some of it borders on fantasy, I truly believe these statements leave a lasting imprint on a submissive's mind and help keep them focused on serving and being obedient. I encourage you to incorporate them into your relationship, even if it is just for fun. Don't worry about having to stick to them. You are the one in control so you can change your mind whenever you want (just don't make a regular habit of it or you will lose credibility). Every once in rare moment I have allowed Thomas to be on top. Sometimes the mood just strikes me. Even thought this might happen, I still ingrain in his mind that he will never be allowed on top. When it does happen, I might say something like, "well consider that a gift. It won't happen again." or "You weren't supposed to be on top. You'll be punished for that."
Saying these types of things over and over again have a lasting impact on you submissive's mind over time. I'm not suggesting using these daily or even weekly. Too much is overkill and it becomes meaningless. My recommendation is to incorporate them into your regular routines throughout the month. For example, whenever you assign a new chore or task you could use #4. If he tells you how great it is serving you, then you can respond with "That's great to hear. This is how your life will always be, so I'm glad you enjoy it." Another option is to pick one and focus in on it for a week or two and then move on. Then you can reinforce it every now and then in the future.
Trust me, these statements are loaded with a "punch" that imprints his mind. He may not react immediately, but when he walks away after hearing one of these, it is still lingering in his mind and he is feeling your control wrap around him. The more he hears statements like this, the more real they become for him. Have fun with it.
Mz Kaylee
Thursday, April 23, 2015
The Benefits of a Well Trained Man
Just like any relationship, a Female Led Relationship (FLR) takes effort and work to be successful. This post is aimed at women who are contemplating a FLR or are just starting one. What is in it for the female?
FLR's are fantastic! This will not happen all on day one. It took many years to get Thomas trained properly (and he will always be in training). In the end it is a wonderful thing. I could not imagine any other way.
-MzKaylee
- Endless pampering whenever you want
- No need to do laundry. That's his job now.
- Kitchen cleaned & dishes washed and put away every night
- No more pumping gas
- Bills are paid every month. I don't even think about them.
- Orgasms whenever I want, however I want and he expects nothing in return
- A play toy (him) to play with whenever I want
- Coffee ready for me every morning
- I have the final say in all matters and he knows this and agrees to it. He yields to my authority and decisions. This means arguments are practically non existent.
- He anticipates my needs and wants and strives to make me happy. This is huge!
- Gifts and flowers from him just because he appreciates me
- Open communication. We talk about anything.
- I never have to clean a bathroom again. Yea!
- My clothes are ironed every day
- I do what I want
- He does everything I tell him to do.
FLR's are fantastic! This will not happen all on day one. It took many years to get Thomas trained properly (and he will always be in training). In the end it is a wonderful thing. I could not imagine any other way.
-MzKaylee
Friday, April 17, 2015
FLR Fosters Good Communication
One of the great benefits of a Female Led Relationship (FLR) is that it creates an environment of regular communication. At least that has been my experience. As the leader I have no hesitation with sharing my feelings and expectations with Thomas. He is also comfortable sharing his feelings and thoughts with me. It is important to point out that FLR does not mean the submissive's voice and opinions are not heard and taken into consideration. Perhaps some people run their relationship that way but I would challenge that a relationship like that will not last or is not healthy. A healthy relationship includes two way communications. There certainly are times where I will "shush" Thomas and not want to hear what he has to say. However, in most cases he is allowed to share his opinions and viewpoints. What make it a FLR is that I have the final say and he yields to my decisions.
There are many characteristics or practices of a FLR that promote healthy communication. Discipline sessions are a good tool for communication. These sessions provide an environment where my expectations can be clearly communicated and I can provide clear and poignant feedback on how well Thomas is performing. During a discipline session I have his undivided attention. Often times when I am disappointed about something Thomas did and I communicate this to Thomas as part of the discipline session, it results in a conversation and I find out there was confusion or a misunderstanding from Thomas (although most times he is aware of what he did and acknowledges his infraction). In many relationships, people don't communicate when they are upset or disappointed and they harbor negative feelings which hurt the relationship.
Punishments also keep the communication open. What I love the most about punishments is they help both people put an issue behind them. Thomas is never completely surprised when he is punished. He knows he was wrong or lazy. Once the punishment is completed, he has paid his price and can move on. After I punish him, I completely wipe the issue from my mind and he has a fresh start with me. I have known people who have been very upset over something their spouse did and they hold onto that grudge for days or even weeks and then it ultimately leads to an argument. In a FLR, the female calls out issue immediately and addresses them with the sub.
I expect and demand pampering from Thomas. He gives me massages and baths regularly. I also enjoy teasing his cock and will tease him almost daily, even if it is just for a few minutes. All these encounters promote interaction between us, which keeps the communication flowing freely. Ask a person in a typical 'vanilla' relationship when the last time was that they massaged or bathed their partner? I'm willing to bet most people can't remember or it's been a long time.
Finally, having one person designated as the lead in the relationship avoids arguments and having both spouses fighting to get the last word in or fighting to win. I am not saying this is easy to accomplish but when the submissive accepts his proper place and yields to the authority of his spouse, it curtails arguments early. If Thomas starts to become argumentative I will firmly state "I am in charge and that's the end of the discussion." He gets the point real quick. Other successful tactics I have used is threatening him with a punishment, threatening to take away a privilege, or I may just point to him and say "kneel" or "strip"(Argument ended :) ).
Please don't take this post as bashing traditional "vanilla" relationships. There are many healthy traditional relationships and there are unhealthy FLR relationships. However, I do feel that in most cases the FLR promotes better communication than a traditional vanilla relationship. If you read through FLR/Femdom forums or books, you will see many posts of both men and women who indicate that their marriage and relationship with their spouse became stronger once they applied FLR principles.
There are many characteristics or practices of a FLR that promote healthy communication. Discipline sessions are a good tool for communication. These sessions provide an environment where my expectations can be clearly communicated and I can provide clear and poignant feedback on how well Thomas is performing. During a discipline session I have his undivided attention. Often times when I am disappointed about something Thomas did and I communicate this to Thomas as part of the discipline session, it results in a conversation and I find out there was confusion or a misunderstanding from Thomas (although most times he is aware of what he did and acknowledges his infraction). In many relationships, people don't communicate when they are upset or disappointed and they harbor negative feelings which hurt the relationship.
Punishments also keep the communication open. What I love the most about punishments is they help both people put an issue behind them. Thomas is never completely surprised when he is punished. He knows he was wrong or lazy. Once the punishment is completed, he has paid his price and can move on. After I punish him, I completely wipe the issue from my mind and he has a fresh start with me. I have known people who have been very upset over something their spouse did and they hold onto that grudge for days or even weeks and then it ultimately leads to an argument. In a FLR, the female calls out issue immediately and addresses them with the sub.
I expect and demand pampering from Thomas. He gives me massages and baths regularly. I also enjoy teasing his cock and will tease him almost daily, even if it is just for a few minutes. All these encounters promote interaction between us, which keeps the communication flowing freely. Ask a person in a typical 'vanilla' relationship when the last time was that they massaged or bathed their partner? I'm willing to bet most people can't remember or it's been a long time.
Finally, having one person designated as the lead in the relationship avoids arguments and having both spouses fighting to get the last word in or fighting to win. I am not saying this is easy to accomplish but when the submissive accepts his proper place and yields to the authority of his spouse, it curtails arguments early. If Thomas starts to become argumentative I will firmly state "I am in charge and that's the end of the discussion." He gets the point real quick. Other successful tactics I have used is threatening him with a punishment, threatening to take away a privilege, or I may just point to him and say "kneel" or "strip"(Argument ended :) ).
Please don't take this post as bashing traditional "vanilla" relationships. There are many healthy traditional relationships and there are unhealthy FLR relationships. However, I do feel that in most cases the FLR promotes better communication than a traditional vanilla relationship. If you read through FLR/Femdom forums or books, you will see many posts of both men and women who indicate that their marriage and relationship with their spouse became stronger once they applied FLR principles.
Monday, April 6, 2015
A Lingerie Drawer for Thomas
This past weekend I was inspecting Thomas's underwear drawer and I realized he has just as many panties and boys underwear. Add in the two pairs of stockings, garter belt, and bra that he owns and he has more girly things than boy things. What an exciting discovery that I had to share with him! I did have fun teasing him about how his panty had grown so large. Now the bra is not something he wears. I bought it for him as a deterrent of bad behavior. If he starts acting up or develops a bad habit, all I need to threaten that he will have to wear it under his shirt and buy something at the corner drug store and his attitude immediately changes. So it is a punishment tool but it is still part of his lingerie collection and something to tease him with for fun.
I have a six drawer lingerie chest. I announced to him that since he had such a large collection of girly things, it only made sense for him to have one of the drawers in the chest. I cleared out the bottom drawer to make room for his items. His assignment was to move all his girly items from his underwear drawer to the lingerie drawer, with the exception of two pairs of panties. I still wanted a few pairs to remain with his underwear just as a nice reminder. He of course had to do it while wearing pretty purple panties.
It made for a fun night. I enjoyed teasing him about how he now had his own drawer and that we now might have to buy more stuff - maybe even real lingerie such as a teddy. He was quite quiet but fully aroused the whole time. I know he loved it but was a bit shy or embarrassed about it (which is part of the enjoyment for him).
Mz Kaylee
I have a six drawer lingerie chest. I announced to him that since he had such a large collection of girly things, it only made sense for him to have one of the drawers in the chest. I cleared out the bottom drawer to make room for his items. His assignment was to move all his girly items from his underwear drawer to the lingerie drawer, with the exception of two pairs of panties. I still wanted a few pairs to remain with his underwear just as a nice reminder. He of course had to do it while wearing pretty purple panties.
It made for a fun night. I enjoyed teasing him about how he now had his own drawer and that we now might have to buy more stuff - maybe even real lingerie such as a teddy. He was quite quiet but fully aroused the whole time. I know he loved it but was a bit shy or embarrassed about it (which is part of the enjoyment for him).
Mz Kaylee
Appreciation and Thank You
One of the characteristics I love the most about Thomas is the appreciation and gratitude that he shows for me. Giving appreciation is important for both the dominant and the submissive. As the leader of the relationship I will thank Thomas when he has been good for me or if he does something thoughtful for me. I believe this motivates him to serve me even more. He does the same for me. He will thank me if I do something special for him like buy his favorite snack or treat him to a special night of teasing. What I love the most is when he pampers me and then later thanks me for allowing him to pamper me. Talk about royal treatment! There are many days where I ride him until I have an orgasm and there is no orgasm for him (in fact that happens most times). He will thank me for that and tell me how great it was. I find that incredible!
So guys who are reading this, be sure to show appreciation and thank your wife/mistress/GF for what she does for you. Even if it is for just something small, it will make her feel great.
-Mz Kaylee
So guys who are reading this, be sure to show appreciation and thank your wife/mistress/GF for what she does for you. Even if it is for just something small, it will make her feel great.
-Mz Kaylee
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Discipline Follow-up
My last post discussed my typical discipline routine. I think it's good to have a routine but if you've read my previous posts, you know that I am also a proponent of randomness or variety to help keep the relationship healthy and exciting. My discipline sessions usually occur in the bedroom. However on occasion I will take it outside the bedroom. Sometimes it's just because I am in the mood to change it up so I might have Thomas bring my riding crop down to the living room or dining room and then conduct his discipline there.
Sometimes I have a purpose for moving it outside the bedroom. Administering discipline at the "scene of the crime" is a very effective method for getting your point across and ensuring he understands exactly what he needs to improve on. For example, one time I was not pleased with how he was cleaning the bathroom so I dragged him into the bathroom and showed him where the sink was not clean, the mirror was dirty, etc. I had him bend over the sink and I spanked him right there in the bathroom.
There is a side benefit to all this also. Putting him in a vulnerable and submissive position in various rooms throughout the house sends a message that you have authority over him in every inch of the house. I have made it a point over the years to perform some form of either discipline or domination in every room in the house. One memorable moment was when I disciplined him in the garage. I rarely set foot in the garage but I wanted him to know that there was no safe haven for him (I also did for my own amusement). He has a riding tractor, which made a perfect discipline chair. I sat on the tractor and had him lay over my lap with his panties on. So there he was on his most manly piece of equipment, laid across my lap in panties being spanked. I loved it! The discipline session was focused solely on the garage. The garage was a mess. I talked about how I ruled the house, including the garage and all his tools. I told him that I expected the entire house, which included the garage, to be kept organized and clean. I gave him one week to get it in order. Honestly, I really did not care how organized the garage was since I rarely use it. I did it more for amusement and to send the message that I have authority over everything he is connected to.
I was amused at how it motivated him. The following week I made him strip completely naked and then I towed him by his cock into the garage. I was dressed in my normal "street clothes". We have a door connecting the house to the garage so there was no public display. The garage was clean and organized. He had even thrown away a lot of old junk. I spent several minutes walking around the garage investigating. I picked up tools, looked around shelves, and opened his tool box. Part of this exercise was to reinforce the message that I have authority over everything. There are no secrets or hiding spots for him. I let him know how satisfied and pleased I was with how he cleaned the garage and I spent a few minutes teasing his cock right there in the garage. Then I had him kneel down and kiss my feet and thank me for motivating him. To keep him on his toes in the future, I told him that I may conduct random inspections in the garage and that he would be punished if it was not clean and organized.
.
Sometimes I have a purpose for moving it outside the bedroom. Administering discipline at the "scene of the crime" is a very effective method for getting your point across and ensuring he understands exactly what he needs to improve on. For example, one time I was not pleased with how he was cleaning the bathroom so I dragged him into the bathroom and showed him where the sink was not clean, the mirror was dirty, etc. I had him bend over the sink and I spanked him right there in the bathroom.
There is a side benefit to all this also. Putting him in a vulnerable and submissive position in various rooms throughout the house sends a message that you have authority over him in every inch of the house. I have made it a point over the years to perform some form of either discipline or domination in every room in the house. One memorable moment was when I disciplined him in the garage. I rarely set foot in the garage but I wanted him to know that there was no safe haven for him (I also did for my own amusement). He has a riding tractor, which made a perfect discipline chair. I sat on the tractor and had him lay over my lap with his panties on. So there he was on his most manly piece of equipment, laid across my lap in panties being spanked. I loved it! The discipline session was focused solely on the garage. The garage was a mess. I talked about how I ruled the house, including the garage and all his tools. I told him that I expected the entire house, which included the garage, to be kept organized and clean. I gave him one week to get it in order. Honestly, I really did not care how organized the garage was since I rarely use it. I did it more for amusement and to send the message that I have authority over everything he is connected to.
I was amused at how it motivated him. The following week I made him strip completely naked and then I towed him by his cock into the garage. I was dressed in my normal "street clothes". We have a door connecting the house to the garage so there was no public display. The garage was clean and organized. He had even thrown away a lot of old junk. I spent several minutes walking around the garage investigating. I picked up tools, looked around shelves, and opened his tool box. Part of this exercise was to reinforce the message that I have authority over everything. There are no secrets or hiding spots for him. I let him know how satisfied and pleased I was with how he cleaned the garage and I spent a few minutes teasing his cock right there in the garage. Then I had him kneel down and kiss my feet and thank me for motivating him. To keep him on his toes in the future, I told him that I may conduct random inspections in the garage and that he would be punished if it was not clean and organized.
.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)