Phew! I finally finished this series. Hopefully, you found the posts informative and thought provoking and I hope you've gotten a few good ideas to use. I am thrilled with all the comments and discussion on the posts. I was away on vacation for awhile so I apologize for not getting some of the comments published in a timely fashion. They are all published now. I encourage all of you to go back to the comments sections in each of the posts and read what others have posted and continue the discussion. Often times the comments from others provide great additional insights and ideas.
The last few posts in these series touched on the kinkier aspects of FLR. This was purposeful as I have learned that using kink and playing into a man's sexual side are powerful tools for motivating men. Tapping into these tools when you are busy are great ways to keep his attention on you and motivate him to serve and obey you when you don't have a lot of time or energy to give him the usual attention. In the comments on this series of posts, some of the submissive boys pointed out that not all the tasks need to be kinky or sexually related; that a simple order or assignment to help the wife would motivate them or make them happy. That advice is helpful to keep in mind, especially when you are overworked and need help. Commanding your husband to do something for you is a way to bring out his submissive happiness. Take note that I used the word 'Commanding." Commanding him to do something is much more impactful than asking him to do something.
Many of the ideas I shared I have used and some I have not. I encourage you to try a few of the ideas that were presented in the series. I even recommend that you pick one or two that seem off the wall and give them a try. You may be surprised at how excited your man gets and how submissive he becomes. You may even be surprised at how excited you become. I remember the first time I used a butt plug on Thomas. It was his idea and I thought it was strange but I did it to humor him. However, his reaction/emotional language from having the plug in him struck an erotic nerve in me and really excited me. I did not expect it. Sometimes the strangest things turn into the most exciting things. If you try something new and it does not work, no harm done. You can laugh about it and move on.
The kinkier ideas are fun but certainly should not be what your relationship is based around. The most important point that I would like you to take from this series of posts is that it is critical to find one-on-one time with each other. No matter how busy you are, you need to set time aside where you can talk regularly and where you can just have fun together. This will keep your relationship strong and a strong relationship with your spouse will help you flourish in other areas in your life and get you through the tough times.
The next important point that I want to emphasize is to lean on your husband during the busy times. If you try to get through the busy or tough situations by yourself, he will feel isolated and will be desperate for your attention, which will most likely lead to relationship issues that you will have to deal with on top of the other stress. Instead, make him work for you. Focus your efforts on training, disciplining, and if needed punishing him to get things done for you. Initially this may take some work on your part to get him 'trained' on what needs to be done. However, in the long-term he will become a big help to you and ease your stress. This managing approach makes you an even stronger leader, elevates your authority over him and will bring out the submission in him even more. He will love helping you.
Many of you wrote me and told me that you share the posts with your spouse. It makes me happy to hear that and I hope this leads to more fun for you and a stronger relationship. If you use any of the ideas from my posts or you discover that your wife is suddenly using them on you, please share your experiences, good or bad. I want to know how it went or if it led to even new adventures.
-Mz Kaylee
Monday, July 31, 2017
Sunday, July 9, 2017
The Busy Dominant Wife - Part V
Technique 2: Give him assignments, tasks, and new rules that reinforce your authority over him, surface his submissive emotions, and/or arouse him.
The primary goals of these "submissive assignments" are to keep his mind in submissive mode, keep him aroused, and keep him thinking about serving and obeying you.These assignments focus on the psychological aspects of your control over him. Submissive assignments are perfect for the busy domme because once assigned, they take very little of her time. The submissive on the other hand, spends his day (or in some cases several days) focused on the assignment. During the assignment he feels the wife's control even though she is not present. In essence, a perceived reality of dominance is created for him while the Dominant Wife is off doing her day-to-day things.
Some examples are below. As a reminder, these types of things are not key to a FLR and it is up to you to choose whether or not to implement them. They are fun ideas that are easy to do and can help keep your submissive husband's arousal and submissive desires heightened, which in turn motivates him to serve you.
Order him to research FLR articles for you and domination techniques. You can keep it broad or ask him to research a specific topic such as chastity or cuckolding. Remember that the goal is to keep him submissive, aroused, and thinking about serving you. Therefore, the topics you pick do not have to be things you are thinking about. It can be fun to give him a topic that is outside of what your currently do because it will make him start to wonder if you are considering doing it. Imagine if you asked him to research cuckolding. You could have some fun with that one by not committing one way or the other whether you want to do it or you could hint that the idea turns you on a bit (even though it may not and you never intend to do it). That kind of mental teasing drives submissive men wild and plays into their submissive desires. His mind will go wild with fantasies of being a cuckold to you. Other strategies include picking a topic that is a turn on for him, picking a topic that you want to learn more about, or letting him choose what to bring back to you (this will give you an idea of what he is fantasizing about).
There are many benefits with this technique and I use it often. Through the research process he will have to read many different articles and blogs and put together a summary of what he has read or print out some of the good articles for you to read. This repetitive reading about FLR and femdom will most definitely put his mind in submissive mode and cause his mind to fantasize about being in those situations, which of course will keep him in a very aroused and obedient state. The repetitive reading is also good training for him. He will learn things that will make him a better servant to you. Another benefit is that you will get good educational material and ideas for yourself. You may find that a lot of the information is not really what you are looking for but if you get just one or two good ideas or advice from his research, then it is a great thing. Having him do research for you is also a time saver for you since he does all the reading and eliminates duplicate information and weeds out the garbage (although you have to be careful that he does not take too much liberty in determining what is garbage). Once you have the articles or summary from him you can read them at your leisure. Sometimes I will read it while he massage my feet and then comment on things or ask him questions about what ideas he likes.
Over the years I have learned a tremendous amount from these readings and have picked up many great ideas that I have applied to my FLR. Also, for me in the early years, some of the information helped to validate that what I was already doing was a good thing. When I would read that others were doing some of the same things I was doing it gave me more confidence that I was going down the right path.
Order him to find one or two videos or erotic stories about a certain topic of your choosing or of a scene that really turns him on. I am sure some of you are surprised that I am suggesting this one. After all, it is common for women who start taking authority over their husband to cutoff his porn habit. However, the difference here is that you are giving him specific direction and permission to do it. You are giving meaning and purpose to what he is doing and linking it back to you. He will not be looking at porn solely for his own satisfaction. He will be looking at it with the purpose of pleasing you and hoping that you will make the scene come to reality with him. It is very important that you are clear in your direction to him that he is doing it for you. You can have fun with it and tell him that you are ordering him to do this so that you get ideas on how to drive him wild because you know it will make him weaker and give you more control over him. You can tell him that you are giving this task simply to tease him because you know how excited he will get by it. Be creative and have fun. The redirection of his thought process towards you instead of just generic selfish pleasure is powerful and can strengthen his submissive desires toward you. The irony here is that you are taking something that is often a deterrent to a good relationship and turning it into a tool to gain authority over him. The benefits of this assignment are very similar to the research assignment noted above. I have picked up a few ideas from the videos. Watching another women tease/dominate a man can be very educational and informative and more insightful than reading about it. Use this technique with caution and sparingly as you do not want to create a porn habit.
Order him to do assignments that keep him focused on you and his submission These are assignments that play into his submissive desires. For example, have him clean and organize all your shoes. Submissive men love to kneel at a woman's feet or worship their feet. Shoes are associated with your feet and so the simple task of cleaning them will stir up those submissive desires and may even excite him. For added fun, make him kiss each one before cleaning it or require him to put his nose inside each one and smell your beautiful scent before cleaning. These little tasks will drive him wild. Link the task back to you by telling him that as a Goddess, you deserve to have clean shoes and it his job as your slave to keep them clean.
Another idea is to have him hand wash your panties. Men go crazy over panties and so this will surely excite him and surface his submission. Require that he kiss or sniff your scent from each pair before cleaning. With Thomas I refer to this as worshiping my panties. Trust me on this one Ladies, he will love this requirement. Give him the direction to wash each pair individually so that he can admire and worship each of your beautiful panties.
Other ideas include having him polish your latex fetish wear, clean your sex toys, practice sucking a dildo so he can perform well for you, refolding your lingerie, and shopping for you to buy you things like panties, lingerie, toys, or shoes. Be creative and have fun with these assignments. The goal is to give him something to do that will stir up his submissive desires and keep him focused on his obedience to you. If he has any type of "hot button" or fetish, find assignments that play into those fetishes. You are most definitely tapping into the kink part of the relationship with these assignments.
Be sure to talk up the assignment and link it back to you or his submission. The more you can attach emotion and meaning to the assignment, the more effective it will be in creating that perceived dominance while he is doing it and the more submissive he will feel while doing it. I also like to tell him that he must be fully aroused (erect) before beginning his assignment. This is usually not an issue for him. lol! These are assignments that can be done on his own time when you are not around. Simply give him the orders and a due date or time. If he does not complete these assignments to your expectations, issue a punishment and have him do them again.
Technique 3: Order him to masturbate for you
When you just don't have the time to tease him, make him do it to himself. You can have him do it while you are sitting in bed reading, watching TV, or sitting at a table doing work. The order is simple - "tease yourself to the edge but no cumming." You can also make him lick-up any leakage. If you trust that your husband will obey you and can restrain himself from orgasm, you can order him to masturbate outside of your presence. For example, during times when I've been really busy and have had no time to tease him, I have ordered Thomas to masturbate to the edge every morning in the shower. While he did it, he was to think about how wonderful it is to be my submissive husband and server and obey me. It can also be fun to have him do it in the middle of day at work or at a random time when he is out. He has to find a bathroom or private place to do it. Be sure to order him to think about you while he is stroking. These little "worship" sessions will keep him focused on you during the day. You can give him the instructions in advance or you can be spontaneous. Why not send him a text one day while he is at work that simply says,,,"I want you to spend 5 minutes worshiping me before you leave work today"? Make sure he reports back when it's done :)
Just to be clear this is not an open order for him to masturbate. You are controlling when and how he masturbates. You are giving specific direction on what he is to do and what he is to think about while masturbating. He is masturbating not because he wants to but because you want him to masturbate for you. Therefore, you are in complete control of the situation and still have authority over him. This is a very effective technique to control him. However, it should only be used if you have confidence that he can refrain from orgasm.
That is all the techniques for now. I will follow-up with one more post with closing remarks. If you have any more ideas, please share.
The primary goals of these "submissive assignments" are to keep his mind in submissive mode, keep him aroused, and keep him thinking about serving and obeying you.These assignments focus on the psychological aspects of your control over him. Submissive assignments are perfect for the busy domme because once assigned, they take very little of her time. The submissive on the other hand, spends his day (or in some cases several days) focused on the assignment. During the assignment he feels the wife's control even though she is not present. In essence, a perceived reality of dominance is created for him while the Dominant Wife is off doing her day-to-day things.
Some examples are below. As a reminder, these types of things are not key to a FLR and it is up to you to choose whether or not to implement them. They are fun ideas that are easy to do and can help keep your submissive husband's arousal and submissive desires heightened, which in turn motivates him to serve you.
Order him to research FLR articles for you and domination techniques. You can keep it broad or ask him to research a specific topic such as chastity or cuckolding. Remember that the goal is to keep him submissive, aroused, and thinking about serving you. Therefore, the topics you pick do not have to be things you are thinking about. It can be fun to give him a topic that is outside of what your currently do because it will make him start to wonder if you are considering doing it. Imagine if you asked him to research cuckolding. You could have some fun with that one by not committing one way or the other whether you want to do it or you could hint that the idea turns you on a bit (even though it may not and you never intend to do it). That kind of mental teasing drives submissive men wild and plays into their submissive desires. His mind will go wild with fantasies of being a cuckold to you. Other strategies include picking a topic that is a turn on for him, picking a topic that you want to learn more about, or letting him choose what to bring back to you (this will give you an idea of what he is fantasizing about).
There are many benefits with this technique and I use it often. Through the research process he will have to read many different articles and blogs and put together a summary of what he has read or print out some of the good articles for you to read. This repetitive reading about FLR and femdom will most definitely put his mind in submissive mode and cause his mind to fantasize about being in those situations, which of course will keep him in a very aroused and obedient state. The repetitive reading is also good training for him. He will learn things that will make him a better servant to you. Another benefit is that you will get good educational material and ideas for yourself. You may find that a lot of the information is not really what you are looking for but if you get just one or two good ideas or advice from his research, then it is a great thing. Having him do research for you is also a time saver for you since he does all the reading and eliminates duplicate information and weeds out the garbage (although you have to be careful that he does not take too much liberty in determining what is garbage). Once you have the articles or summary from him you can read them at your leisure. Sometimes I will read it while he massage my feet and then comment on things or ask him questions about what ideas he likes.
Over the years I have learned a tremendous amount from these readings and have picked up many great ideas that I have applied to my FLR. Also, for me in the early years, some of the information helped to validate that what I was already doing was a good thing. When I would read that others were doing some of the same things I was doing it gave me more confidence that I was going down the right path.
Order him to find one or two videos or erotic stories about a certain topic of your choosing or of a scene that really turns him on. I am sure some of you are surprised that I am suggesting this one. After all, it is common for women who start taking authority over their husband to cutoff his porn habit. However, the difference here is that you are giving him specific direction and permission to do it. You are giving meaning and purpose to what he is doing and linking it back to you. He will not be looking at porn solely for his own satisfaction. He will be looking at it with the purpose of pleasing you and hoping that you will make the scene come to reality with him. It is very important that you are clear in your direction to him that he is doing it for you. You can have fun with it and tell him that you are ordering him to do this so that you get ideas on how to drive him wild because you know it will make him weaker and give you more control over him. You can tell him that you are giving this task simply to tease him because you know how excited he will get by it. Be creative and have fun. The redirection of his thought process towards you instead of just generic selfish pleasure is powerful and can strengthen his submissive desires toward you. The irony here is that you are taking something that is often a deterrent to a good relationship and turning it into a tool to gain authority over him. The benefits of this assignment are very similar to the research assignment noted above. I have picked up a few ideas from the videos. Watching another women tease/dominate a man can be very educational and informative and more insightful than reading about it. Use this technique with caution and sparingly as you do not want to create a porn habit.
Order him to do assignments that keep him focused on you and his submission These are assignments that play into his submissive desires. For example, have him clean and organize all your shoes. Submissive men love to kneel at a woman's feet or worship their feet. Shoes are associated with your feet and so the simple task of cleaning them will stir up those submissive desires and may even excite him. For added fun, make him kiss each one before cleaning it or require him to put his nose inside each one and smell your beautiful scent before cleaning. These little tasks will drive him wild. Link the task back to you by telling him that as a Goddess, you deserve to have clean shoes and it his job as your slave to keep them clean.
Another idea is to have him hand wash your panties. Men go crazy over panties and so this will surely excite him and surface his submission. Require that he kiss or sniff your scent from each pair before cleaning. With Thomas I refer to this as worshiping my panties. Trust me on this one Ladies, he will love this requirement. Give him the direction to wash each pair individually so that he can admire and worship each of your beautiful panties.
Other ideas include having him polish your latex fetish wear, clean your sex toys, practice sucking a dildo so he can perform well for you, refolding your lingerie, and shopping for you to buy you things like panties, lingerie, toys, or shoes. Be creative and have fun with these assignments. The goal is to give him something to do that will stir up his submissive desires and keep him focused on his obedience to you. If he has any type of "hot button" or fetish, find assignments that play into those fetishes. You are most definitely tapping into the kink part of the relationship with these assignments.
Be sure to talk up the assignment and link it back to you or his submission. The more you can attach emotion and meaning to the assignment, the more effective it will be in creating that perceived dominance while he is doing it and the more submissive he will feel while doing it. I also like to tell him that he must be fully aroused (erect) before beginning his assignment. This is usually not an issue for him. lol! These are assignments that can be done on his own time when you are not around. Simply give him the orders and a due date or time. If he does not complete these assignments to your expectations, issue a punishment and have him do them again.
Technique 3: Order him to masturbate for you
When you just don't have the time to tease him, make him do it to himself. You can have him do it while you are sitting in bed reading, watching TV, or sitting at a table doing work. The order is simple - "tease yourself to the edge but no cumming." You can also make him lick-up any leakage. If you trust that your husband will obey you and can restrain himself from orgasm, you can order him to masturbate outside of your presence. For example, during times when I've been really busy and have had no time to tease him, I have ordered Thomas to masturbate to the edge every morning in the shower. While he did it, he was to think about how wonderful it is to be my submissive husband and server and obey me. It can also be fun to have him do it in the middle of day at work or at a random time when he is out. He has to find a bathroom or private place to do it. Be sure to order him to think about you while he is stroking. These little "worship" sessions will keep him focused on you during the day. You can give him the instructions in advance or you can be spontaneous. Why not send him a text one day while he is at work that simply says,,,"I want you to spend 5 minutes worshiping me before you leave work today"? Make sure he reports back when it's done :)
Just to be clear this is not an open order for him to masturbate. You are controlling when and how he masturbates. You are giving specific direction on what he is to do and what he is to think about while masturbating. He is masturbating not because he wants to but because you want him to masturbate for you. Therefore, you are in complete control of the situation and still have authority over him. This is a very effective technique to control him. However, it should only be used if you have confidence that he can refrain from orgasm.
That is all the techniques for now. I will follow-up with one more post with closing remarks. If you have any more ideas, please share.
Monday, July 3, 2017
The Busy Dominant Wife Part IV-Wearing Items For You
In part III of this series I ended the discussion referencing the importance of orgasm control. It is important to understand that orgasm control is not just about controlling when your man can
orgasm, it is about sexually teasing him and continually stoking his
sexual desires. That is a core motivator for men. It is important that
you play into his submissive desires and sexual energy in order to keep
him motivated to serve you. When he is motivated, it makes your life
much easier. In my ideal state, I am teasing Thomas a few times a day,
mostly just enough to give him an erection and then I walk away. During
busy times my teasing will drop to a few days a week and sometimes it
might only happen once a week. If it goes longer than once a week
I start to notice the negative effect on Thomas. In addition to
the teasing, during the busy times I also try to have some type of
sexual play at least once a week. Sometimes it becomes less frequent.
During those less frequent times I feel we become somewhat distant or
not as connected so I try my best to stick to at least once a week,
The right frequency and intensity of teasing and sexual play will vary among couples. You have to find the right balance for you and your husband, Think of the teasing and sexual play as maintenance to keep your husband going and performing at his best, similar to maintenance on a car. If you don't maintain your car by changing the oil, doing tune-ups, or other recommended maintenance, it will still work for you but it's performance is going to decline slowly to the point where you're going to eventually have problems. However, if you keep up with the maintenance (teasing and sexual play) it's going to be reliable and always performing well for you.
Luckily for us, it is easy to tease men and play into their sexual energy and submissive desires, A big part of female control and male submission is emotional or psychological. By focusing on the mental aspects of his submission, you can have a huge effect on your man with little effort. Spending just a few minutes to wire his brain can change his entire day and keep him submissive and focused on you even though you are not with him during the day. This is the fun part of FLR in my opinion. I am going share a few simple and easy to implement techniques that will play into your man's submissive desires and that will keep him aroused and motivated to serve and obey you.
Before, I get into the ideas, I want to make it clear that these are simply ideas and are not essential to a FLR. You can choose whether or not you want to use some of them, all of them, or none at all. While they are not essential or key to the relationship, I think they are great ideas that can add spice to your relationship and motivate your husband to obey you and treat you like a Goddess.
Technique 1: Require him to wear things for you. I want to emphasize the words "require" and "for you" in this technique. By requiring him to wear certain things and letting him know that he is doing it for you, to please you or to obey you, it creates that feeling of submission and obedience in his mind when he is putting the item on and wearing it. Some examples:
Cock rings - These are great visual and physical reminders that he is submissive to you. The fun part of cock rings is that they enhance his erection and make it harder and more sensitive. If he starts to get aroused during the day because of a random sexual thought (and men do that all the time), the cock ring has a multiplying effect on that arousal which leads to an erection that is hard to prevent. Without a cock ring he may be able to suppress his arousal and prevent a full erection. With a cock ring, this is harder to do. Additionally, once he is erect with the cock ring, it takes longer for his erection to go away. The result is that he may end up with several erections and longer lasting erections during the day that he normally would not have. It becomes a self-tease for him. I also get a laugh knowing that when he is at work or in public, there may times that he can't get up from his seat because he has an erection (Thomas has told me of such situations in the past). I have several different ring types that I use with Thomas. One is a wide metal ring with the words "Mz Kaylee's Slave" engraved on it.
Ribbon - Have him tie a pretty silk pink ribbon around the base of his cock as a reminder of his submission to you. This does not have the sane physical results as the ring, but it can have a big emotional effect. For the first time, tie it on him yourself and make sure he understands it is a symbol of your ownership of him and his obedience to you you. These words and the act of you tying it on him are the little things that have a big mental effect on him. He will remember what you say each time he sees the ribbon and it will excite him. Emphasize how pretty and cute it looks on him (you'd be amazed at how this kind of talk excites many men). Require him to change it to a purple ribbon mid-day and check when he gets home from work to ensure he did it. Changing the ribbon mid-day redirects his mind from his work/daily activity to you and your authority over him. The act of taking off the pink ribbon and putting on the purple ribbon is an act of submission and obedience and will most likely cause him to be aroused and will probably have a lasting effect on him throughout the rest of the day. He may also be thinking about it throughout the morning, knowing that he has to do it. Can you see how this simple requirement can put your husband in submissive mode all day, all while you are doing your normal daily activities?
Butt Plug - For most men, this one is going to really put him in submissive mode. With Thomas, I notice an immediate change in his demeanor when he has a plug in. He becomes very submissive, compliant, and a little quieter. Often time he can not concentrate with the plug in when I talk to him, which can be humorous. You simply can not ignore or forget about a plug in your ass. Thomas has described it as a form of bondage because his body naturally wants to force it out but once it settles in, it goes nowhere and it is not a normal feeling. Every time he moves, stands up, or sits down, he feels the plug. Sitting can often become uncomfortable, requiring him to shift around a bit. Anytime there is movement, there is potential for it to stir up his arousal again. The constant feeling of being filled and shifting around, keeps most men in a heightened submissive state-of-mind Thomas is always horny when wearing the plug so it is a great tease for him. The plug can be a challenge to wear all day but it can be done. However, if your husband has never done it, it may be something to try for shorter periods. You could require him to wear it when he gets home from work and he can remove it when all his chores are done or wear it while you go shopping together, out to dinner, or as part of your nightly routine. I have Thomas wear the plug every now and then. It is not something I use on a regular basis but when I do, it has a profound effect on him.
Panties There is something magical about panties and men. When you order a man to wear them it puts him into submissive mode and makes him docile and obedient. The soft clingy fabric has a much different feel than men's underwear so it is sure to keep his attention all day. The embarrassing stigma associated with a man wearing panties can be very exciting and arousing for submissive men. It is a strange dynamic that's hard to explain. Both my husband and I do not fully understand it but what I do know is that he can not help but get an erection every time he slips on a pair. Not all men have the same reaction, but I bet there are more men then we think that get excited by thought of being forced into a pretty pair of panties. I believe that even men who don't think this is for them may be surprised at their own reaction if they really were coerced into a nice frilly pair so I say go for it and give it a try. For the newer panty wearer, having him wear panties under his clothes to work will surely keep him guessing if others know his little secret and can tell if he is wearing panties. It can turn any normal day into quite an adventure for him. If he already wears panties, this may be a good time to change things up a bit and try something new. Pantyhose, stockings, or a feminine undershirt can all be worn discretely under his clothes. A fresh new pair of silky or frilly panties can also stir-up new excitement in him. There are also double-lined silk panties that are extra frilly and silky which are made specifically for men. You can purchase these online. If regular panties are becoming too normal for him, these are sure to stir up new emotions in him.
There are many other things that you can experiment with such as matching panties, an engraved ankle bracelet, or a collar. These items can be engraved with special words such as 'slave' or 'Property of Mistress....." or "Mistress's Pet." Thomas has a special pair of silk boxers that have the words "Property of Mistress Kaylee" imprinted on them.
I will write about the next technique in the next post.
-Mz Kaylee
The right frequency and intensity of teasing and sexual play will vary among couples. You have to find the right balance for you and your husband, Think of the teasing and sexual play as maintenance to keep your husband going and performing at his best, similar to maintenance on a car. If you don't maintain your car by changing the oil, doing tune-ups, or other recommended maintenance, it will still work for you but it's performance is going to decline slowly to the point where you're going to eventually have problems. However, if you keep up with the maintenance (teasing and sexual play) it's going to be reliable and always performing well for you.
Luckily for us, it is easy to tease men and play into their sexual energy and submissive desires, A big part of female control and male submission is emotional or psychological. By focusing on the mental aspects of his submission, you can have a huge effect on your man with little effort. Spending just a few minutes to wire his brain can change his entire day and keep him submissive and focused on you even though you are not with him during the day. This is the fun part of FLR in my opinion. I am going share a few simple and easy to implement techniques that will play into your man's submissive desires and that will keep him aroused and motivated to serve and obey you.
Before, I get into the ideas, I want to make it clear that these are simply ideas and are not essential to a FLR. You can choose whether or not you want to use some of them, all of them, or none at all. While they are not essential or key to the relationship, I think they are great ideas that can add spice to your relationship and motivate your husband to obey you and treat you like a Goddess.
Technique 1: Require him to wear things for you. I want to emphasize the words "require" and "for you" in this technique. By requiring him to wear certain things and letting him know that he is doing it for you, to please you or to obey you, it creates that feeling of submission and obedience in his mind when he is putting the item on and wearing it. Some examples:
Cock rings - These are great visual and physical reminders that he is submissive to you. The fun part of cock rings is that they enhance his erection and make it harder and more sensitive. If he starts to get aroused during the day because of a random sexual thought (and men do that all the time), the cock ring has a multiplying effect on that arousal which leads to an erection that is hard to prevent. Without a cock ring he may be able to suppress his arousal and prevent a full erection. With a cock ring, this is harder to do. Additionally, once he is erect with the cock ring, it takes longer for his erection to go away. The result is that he may end up with several erections and longer lasting erections during the day that he normally would not have. It becomes a self-tease for him. I also get a laugh knowing that when he is at work or in public, there may times that he can't get up from his seat because he has an erection (Thomas has told me of such situations in the past). I have several different ring types that I use with Thomas. One is a wide metal ring with the words "Mz Kaylee's Slave" engraved on it.
Ribbon - Have him tie a pretty silk pink ribbon around the base of his cock as a reminder of his submission to you. This does not have the sane physical results as the ring, but it can have a big emotional effect. For the first time, tie it on him yourself and make sure he understands it is a symbol of your ownership of him and his obedience to you you. These words and the act of you tying it on him are the little things that have a big mental effect on him. He will remember what you say each time he sees the ribbon and it will excite him. Emphasize how pretty and cute it looks on him (you'd be amazed at how this kind of talk excites many men). Require him to change it to a purple ribbon mid-day and check when he gets home from work to ensure he did it. Changing the ribbon mid-day redirects his mind from his work/daily activity to you and your authority over him. The act of taking off the pink ribbon and putting on the purple ribbon is an act of submission and obedience and will most likely cause him to be aroused and will probably have a lasting effect on him throughout the rest of the day. He may also be thinking about it throughout the morning, knowing that he has to do it. Can you see how this simple requirement can put your husband in submissive mode all day, all while you are doing your normal daily activities?
Butt Plug - For most men, this one is going to really put him in submissive mode. With Thomas, I notice an immediate change in his demeanor when he has a plug in. He becomes very submissive, compliant, and a little quieter. Often time he can not concentrate with the plug in when I talk to him, which can be humorous. You simply can not ignore or forget about a plug in your ass. Thomas has described it as a form of bondage because his body naturally wants to force it out but once it settles in, it goes nowhere and it is not a normal feeling. Every time he moves, stands up, or sits down, he feels the plug. Sitting can often become uncomfortable, requiring him to shift around a bit. Anytime there is movement, there is potential for it to stir up his arousal again. The constant feeling of being filled and shifting around, keeps most men in a heightened submissive state-of-mind Thomas is always horny when wearing the plug so it is a great tease for him. The plug can be a challenge to wear all day but it can be done. However, if your husband has never done it, it may be something to try for shorter periods. You could require him to wear it when he gets home from work and he can remove it when all his chores are done or wear it while you go shopping together, out to dinner, or as part of your nightly routine. I have Thomas wear the plug every now and then. It is not something I use on a regular basis but when I do, it has a profound effect on him.
Panties There is something magical about panties and men. When you order a man to wear them it puts him into submissive mode and makes him docile and obedient. The soft clingy fabric has a much different feel than men's underwear so it is sure to keep his attention all day. The embarrassing stigma associated with a man wearing panties can be very exciting and arousing for submissive men. It is a strange dynamic that's hard to explain. Both my husband and I do not fully understand it but what I do know is that he can not help but get an erection every time he slips on a pair. Not all men have the same reaction, but I bet there are more men then we think that get excited by thought of being forced into a pretty pair of panties. I believe that even men who don't think this is for them may be surprised at their own reaction if they really were coerced into a nice frilly pair so I say go for it and give it a try. For the newer panty wearer, having him wear panties under his clothes to work will surely keep him guessing if others know his little secret and can tell if he is wearing panties. It can turn any normal day into quite an adventure for him. If he already wears panties, this may be a good time to change things up a bit and try something new. Pantyhose, stockings, or a feminine undershirt can all be worn discretely under his clothes. A fresh new pair of silky or frilly panties can also stir-up new excitement in him. There are also double-lined silk panties that are extra frilly and silky which are made specifically for men. You can purchase these online. If regular panties are becoming too normal for him, these are sure to stir up new emotions in him.
There are many other things that you can experiment with such as matching panties, an engraved ankle bracelet, or a collar. These items can be engraved with special words such as 'slave' or 'Property of Mistress....." or "Mistress's Pet." Thomas has a special pair of silk boxers that have the words "Property of Mistress Kaylee" imprinted on them.
I will write about the next technique in the next post.
-Mz Kaylee
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