The Busy Dominant Wife Part IV-Wearing Items For You

In part III of this series I ended the discussion referencing the importance of orgasm control.  It is important to understand that orgasm control is not just about controlling when your man can orgasm, it is about sexually teasing him and continually stoking his sexual desires.  That is a core motivator for men.  It is important that you play into his submissive desires and sexual energy in order to keep him motivated to serve you. When he is motivated, it makes your life much easier.   In my ideal state, I am teasing Thomas a few times a day, mostly just enough to give him an erection and then I walk away. During busy times my teasing will drop to a few days a week and sometimes it might only happen once a week.  If it goes longer than once a week I start to notice the negative effect on Thomas.  In addition to the teasing, during the busy times I also try to have some type of sexual play at least once a week.  Sometimes it becomes less frequent. During those less frequent times I feel we become somewhat distant or not as connected so I try my best to stick to at least once a week,

The right frequency and intensity  of teasing and sexual play will vary among couples.  You have to find the right balance for you and your husband, Think of the teasing and sexual play as maintenance to keep your husband going and performing at his best, similar to maintenance on a car.  If you don't maintain your car by changing the oil, doing tune-ups, or other recommended maintenance, it will still work for you but it's performance is going to decline slowly to the point where you're going to eventually have problems. However, if you keep up with the maintenance (teasing and sexual play) it's going to be reliable and always performing well for you.

Luckily for us, it is easy to tease men and play into their sexual energy and submissive desires,  A big part of female control and male submission is emotional or psychological.  By focusing on the mental aspects of his submission, you can have a huge effect on your man with little effort.  Spending just a few minutes to wire his brain can change his entire day and keep him submissive and focused on you even though you are not with him during the day.  This is the fun part of FLR in my opinion.  I am going share a few simple and easy to implement techniques that will play into your man's submissive desires and that will keep him aroused and motivated to serve and obey you.

Before, I get into the ideas, I want to make it clear that these are simply ideas and are not essential to a FLR.  You can choose whether or not you want to use some of them, all of them, or none at all.  While they are not essential or key to the relationship, I think they are great ideas that can add spice to your relationship and motivate your husband to obey you and treat you like a Goddess.

Technique 1: Require him to wear things for you. I want to emphasize the words "require" and "for you" in this technique.  By requiring him to wear certain things and letting him know that he is doing it for you, to please you or to obey you, it creates that feeling of submission and obedience in his mind when he is putting the item on and wearing it. Some examples:

Cock rings - These are great visual and physical reminders that he is submissive to you. The fun part of cock rings is that they enhance his erection and make it harder and more sensitive.  If he starts to get aroused during the day because of a random sexual thought (and men do that all the time), the cock ring has a multiplying effect on that arousal which leads to an erection that is hard to prevent.  Without a cock ring he may be able to suppress his arousal and prevent a full erection.  With a cock ring, this is harder to do.  Additionally, once he is erect with the cock ring, it takes longer for his erection to go away.  The result is that he may end up with several erections and longer lasting erections during the day that he normally would not have. It becomes a self-tease for him.  I also get a laugh knowing that when he is at work or in public, there may times that he can't get up from his seat because he has an erection (Thomas has told me of such situations in the past).  I have several different ring types that I use with Thomas.  One is a wide metal ring with the words "Mz Kaylee's Slave" engraved on it.

Ribbon - Have him tie a pretty silk pink ribbon around the base of his cock as a reminder of his submission to you.  This does not have the sane physical results as the ring, but it can have a big emotional effect.  For the first time, tie it on him yourself and make sure he understands it is a symbol of your ownership of him and his obedience to you you.  These words and the act of you tying it on him are the little things that have a big mental effect on him. He will remember what you say each time he sees the ribbon and it will excite him.  Emphasize how pretty and cute it looks on him (you'd be amazed at how this kind of talk excites many men).  Require him to change it to a purple ribbon mid-day and check when he gets home from work to ensure he did it.  Changing the ribbon mid-day redirects his mind from his work/daily activity to you and your authority over him. The act of taking off the pink ribbon and putting on the purple ribbon is an act of submission and obedience and will most likely cause him to be aroused and will probably have a lasting effect on him throughout the rest of the day.  He may also be thinking about it throughout the morning, knowing that he has to do it.  Can you see how this simple requirement can put your husband in submissive mode all day, all while you are doing your normal daily activities?

Butt Plug - For most men, this one is going to really put him in submissive mode.  With Thomas, I notice an immediate change in his demeanor when he has a plug in. He becomes very submissive, compliant, and a little quieter. Often time he can not concentrate with the plug in when I talk to him, which can be humorous.  You simply can not ignore or forget about a plug in your ass.  Thomas has described it as a form of bondage because his body naturally wants to force it out but once it settles in, it goes nowhere and it is not a normal feeling.  Every time he moves, stands up, or sits down, he feels the plug. Sitting can often become uncomfortable, requiring him to shift around a bit.  Anytime there is movement, there is potential for it to stir up his arousal again. The constant feeling of being filled and shifting around, keeps most men in a heightened submissive state-of-mind  Thomas is always horny when wearing the plug so it is a great tease for him. The plug can be a challenge to wear all day but it can be done.  However, if your husband has never done it, it may be something to try for shorter periods.  You could require him to wear it when he gets home from work and he can remove it when all his chores are done or wear it while you go shopping together, out to dinner, or as part of your nightly routine.  I have Thomas wear the plug every now and then.  It is not something I use on a regular basis but when I do, it has a profound effect on him.

Panties There is something magical about panties and men. When you order a man to wear them it puts him into submissive mode and makes him docile and obedient.  The soft clingy fabric has a much different feel than men's underwear so it is sure to keep his attention all day.  The embarrassing stigma associated with a man wearing panties can be very exciting and arousing for submissive men. It is a strange dynamic that's hard to explain.  Both my husband and I do not fully understand it but what I do know is that he can not help but get an erection every time he slips on a pair.  Not all men have the same reaction, but I bet there are more men then we think that get excited by thought of being forced into a pretty pair of panties.  I believe that even men who don't think this is for them may be surprised at their own reaction if they really were coerced into a nice frilly pair so I say go for it and give it a try.  For the newer panty wearer, having him wear panties under his clothes to work will surely keep him guessing if others know his little secret and can tell if he is wearing panties. It can turn any normal day into quite an adventure for him.  If he already wears panties, this may be a good time to change things up a bit and try something new. Pantyhose, stockings, or a feminine undershirt can all be worn discretely under his clothes.  A fresh new pair of silky or frilly panties can also stir-up new excitement in him.  There are also double-lined silk panties that are extra frilly and silky which are made specifically for men.  You can purchase these online.  If regular panties are becoming too normal for him, these are sure to stir up new emotions in him.

There are many other things that you can experiment with such as matching panties, an engraved ankle bracelet, or a collar.  These items can be engraved with special words such as 'slave' or 'Property of Mistress....." or "Mistress's Pet."  Thomas has a special pair of silk boxers that have the words "Property of Mistress Kaylee" imprinted on them.

I will write about the next technique in the next post.

-Mz Kaylee