Clothing and the Submissive Male (Guest post by Nancy a.k.a Edwin)

 Clothes are never ‘just“ clothes. They convey meaning, sometimes about social

status, or role expectations, sometimes about power, and definitely about

gender. When we hear the word “panty” or see a skirt or a dress on a hanger, we

immediately think female. Certain manners of dress (a business suit or military

uniform) imply authority, and others (semi-nakedness, nakedness, or a maid’s

uniform) signals submission.

Some items of clothing have been unconsciously fetishized in early imprinting

(more common with males, obviously), and once they become a part of the

psyche, generally this does not change. Submissive males often feel increasingly

submissive around women dressed in leather, for example, or (my personal

weakness) dressed in heels, nylons, and a business suit.

There seems to be two broad categories in the use of female clothing with the

submissive in Femdom relationships: 1) Forced feminization of the otherwise

“macho male” who finds it humiliating and emasculating to wear female clothing,

and 2) The crossdressing submissive who wishes to emulate his female superior

and views wearing female clothing as a privilege. In both instances, panty training

and the introduction of other items of female clothing in the FLR relationship can

be extremely powerful.

For the male who “fears” panties and other items of women’s lingerie, being

required to wear them as a testament to his devotion and/or as a punishment has

endless potential, including requiring underdressing at work or in social situations,

shopping trips, etc. Colors and styles are also very important. For the male who

fears being emasculated, the pinker and lacier the better. For the crossdressing

submissive, the pinker and lacier, the more he will find the lingerie or panties

thrilling and rewarding.

I fall into the latter category. My wife has never been one hundred per cent

comfortable with my desire to wear women’s clothes, although she has totally

accepted that I wear only women’s underwear. She has, for many years, even

before we embraced FLR, controlled what else she would allow me to wear and

when (all this in a very real sense a precursor to FLR). All my panties are pink,

pastels, or floral. None of hers are. Most, in fact, are black. My pajamas are also

what would be considered more traditionally feminine than hers. However, how

we present to the public outside of our home is distinctly traditional. She dresses

quite feminine, and I am prone to flannel shirts, jeans, etc.

Here’s the thing: I know that I may wear panties or anything feminine only

because she allows it and I view doing so as a privilege that could be lost at any

time. I must ask her permission to buy anything new beyond panties and to wear

anything besides panties and my fem pajamas. Sometimes she will tell me that I

must wait until she is not in the house because she does not want to see it. I have

lost “panty privileges,” and I have earned panty shopping trips when she will take

me, help me select for both me and her, then leave the store and have me take

them to the counter to complete the purchase. In these ways, she has become

quite adept at using my desires to control me.

My guess is that there are few (maybe no) submissive men who have a neutral

response to wearing women’s underwear and other clothing. They either fear it

or love it. It isn’t that hard to figure out which. Either way, it can be used as a

motivator: a reward or a punishment. My wife uses it for both, and I love her for

it.

Nancy/Edwin