Discover Your Feminine Power

Feminine Power is often described as an energy within women which influences men.  Probably what comes to mind for most people is the image of a beautiful woman walking into a room and all heads turn her way.  You have no doubt seen a blooper video where a guy walks into a wall or rides his bike into a parked car because he is distracted by a woman in a bikini or short skirt.  I a always get a a good laugh when I see this.  It is funny but it is proof of the magnetism that women have to men. Just our bodies alone can disrupt a man's thoughts to the points that he loses his own awareness and common sense.

Men crave women.  They crave to be with us, to impress us and to make us happy. There have been studies on how often a man thinks about sex.  Did you know that men thing about sex on average 1 to 3 times an hour?  That means if you have spent an hour with a man, there is a good chance, a sexual thought about women went through his mind while he was with you  (maybe even a thought about you).   I wonder what all those men are thinking during meetings at work :).

Thomas has pretty much validated this for me.  In fact, with him sexual thoughts are more often since he is teased and denied regularly by me. If you are still in doubt, do a little experiment.  Next time you are in a public place, stand back and quietly observe the men.  When a girl walks by, you will almost always see their heads turn and follow. It does not matter whether he is married, single, young or old; they all react the same way. All the men reading this right now are nodding their heads in agreement,  right? If I point out a pretty girl to Thomas or make a comment to Thomas about a girl in a skimpy outfit, 99% of the time, Thomas has already noticed the girl, even if she is on the opposite side of the room.  It's pretty amazing actually. lol!

My point to all this is that men are wired to crave women and that gives women power.  As a woman, you can get upset by this and be disgusted by a man's behavior or you can understand that it is part of how men are wired.  With this understanding, you can be smart and leverage your feminine power to channel their cravings in a productive way.  Think about a man's cravings as a flowing river with lots of energy.  Left unchecked it does what it wants and can lead to erosion and destruction. However, if you put a damn in place, you can control the flow and energy and use it for productive purposes such as generating electricity.  Ladies, we need to be the damn for our husbands and have their energy flow through us and direct it in a way that benefits the relationship. 

I want to point out that feminine power is more than just sexiness or a physical body.   It encompasses softness, nurturing, vulnerability and love. All of these attributes working together create an energy that has a profound influence on men. A women who needs help (vulnerability) can command the attention of men just as much as the woman who turns heads.  Now think about when you were dating before you got married.  Wasn't your man falling all over you and doing things to please and impress you?  I bet when he first was attracted to you, he gave up valuable time with his guy friends just to be with you.  Did you ever feel like you had him around your finger?  That was your feminine power at work.

If you are married, then you already know that your feminine power has been effective on your husband.  Otherwise, he would have never spent his hard earned money on a ring for you and asked for your hand in marriage. If you are married, it is safe to assume that your husband is attracted to you and sees great qualities in you.  Therefore, you can be confident that your feminine power is strong with him.  Most women do not realize how much power they have over their man.  One reader commented to me that she was so angry at her husband over something that she ordered him to stand nose-to-wall quietly. She was not sure what made her do this and she was surprised that in that moment he obeyed without question. This was before she was even in a FLR!  That is a fantastic example of feminine power at work.  He was compelled to obey her because of her display of authority and because he wanted to please her and not make her any more angry.

A FLR is a great way to get in touch with your feminine power.  As my FLR evolved through trial and error, and with regular talks with my husband, I discovered my inner feminine power.  Ladies, let me tell you, if your husband is submissive, you most likely are underestimating the influence you have over him.  He will do just about anything you want and love it when you turn on the feminine charm.

The FLR journey for me, has made me much more confident and sure of myself.  With my husband I have complete influence over him and know what things make him weak, excited, mad, etc.  Knowing which levers to pull or not pull obviously has great benefits.  This discovery process has also benefited me outside of the marriage.  I am also more confident at work and am very sure of myself in the company of other men and women.  This has made me a more effective communicator in everyday life.  I feel more empowered and respected.

Understanding and embracing your feminine power, not only builds confidence in you, but it also builds a respectful and positive character that is noticed by others.  Below is a link to a beautifully written article on feminine power which I think is worth reading.

http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010/03/the-power-of-femininity/

-Mz Kaylee

Follow-up - What makes you want to submit

Thank you to all who commented on my last post.  Your comments are a fantastic resource, for both men and women, to understand the FLR dynamic. Many of you commented that the dynamic is not easily understood by outsiders.  I could not agree with you more. It took me many years to understand and there are still fuzzy areas for me.  This is why I encourage all of you to share your experiences as well as what is going on inside your head.  It is not intuitive and not always logical but it is real and  the more people hear about it, the easier it becomes to embrace. I hope more of you share your experiences and feelings.  It does  not matter if it is repetitive with someone else's comments or if you just want to agree with a comment.  The more we see similar comments the more it validates to women the common themes and validates to other men that they are not alone in how they feel.

Some of the things I read from your comments were that you have desires to submit to women and to feel controlled and owned. That you want more strictness and that it makes you happy to make your wife happy and to make life easier for her. Ladies , are you taking notes?  You now have the green light to embrace his submission and be treated like a queen.

I discovered with Thomas that the more strict I am the more he enjoys it. If I get into a mood where I don't want to hear crap from him and I am just spouting out orders, his demeanor changes and he drops into submissive mode.  I have caught him getting an erection as I'm giving out orders. Lol.

Another takeaway from several comments is that although there are things you don't enjoy, you don't mind because it is a small price for the greater good of the relationship. That is fantastic and a characteristic of a strong man. Whether it be a FLR or a traditional marriage, this is the right attitude. So  many marriages fail because sacrifices are not made.

Thank you again for contributing. I can write about these things, but there is no credibility without reaffirmation from your comments so please continue to give your input.

Mz Kaylee

What makes you want to submit?

I have not had a chance to write a new post because I've been spending some time responding to comments.  I encourage you to look back through the past posts and revisit the comments.  There have been some good discussions.  Feel free to add to the discussion.

I have a few topics in mind for my next post but I need to find time to write.  In the meantime, I'd like to  pose the below questions to all you submissive guys.  Here's your chance to help out us ladies (and guys who are contemplating FLR) by giving your input.  The dynamics of a FLR are not intuitive and not always logical.  I think your responses to the answers below will help provide insight into this. Feel free to answer just one, two, or all three.

1. What makes you want to submit and obey your wife/partner?

2. Are there things you do not enjoy, but you "put up with" as part of your obedience?  If yes, why do you do it and is it worth it?

3. Are there things that you enjoy doing, which you think others (in a non-FLR) would not understand why you enjoy them or would think that you are being taken advantage of as a result of doing them?  

Fairness in a FLR

In my last post I posed the question, is a FLR fair?  I enjoyed all the responses and was happy to see that there were different perspectives and opinions presented on the topic.  The responses were thoughtful and I appreciate that. I have to say, I had a very specific view on this topic but my view has broadened a bit after reading your responses.  I love when that happens :).

My initial thoughts were that a FLR is unfair. There are many aspects of a FLR that lead me to this conclusion.  These include things such as the submissive husband does most of the chores (sometimes all), does not get the final say in any decision, has little control over the sexual aspects of the relationship and in many cases no control over his own orgasms. Additionally, he must always cater to the needs and whims of his wife and yield to her even when he feels he may be right.  There are many FLRs in which he earns the majority of the money in the household, yet he has no control over the money and may even be limited to a very small allowance. 

The above examples probably do not all apply to your relationship, but if you are in a FLR, surely there are a few that are relevant to you.  Those specific scenarios highlight the unfair aspects of the FLR. " One poster, "Sublove,"pointed out that fairness does not matter in FLR; it is more about needs. "I'm-hers" had similar comments."Franklin" indicated that he enjoys being treated unfairly.  These are good points.  If you are entering into a FLR, you are subscribing to the idea of unfairness.  You are buying into the idea that the female has ultimate authority and control over the male or submissive partner.

Many of you indicated there is fairness in the relationship because there are benefits to the submissive.  Benefits that were mentioned were that it is rewarding to serve your wife, you receive sexual gratification or eroticism from being treated unfairly, and there is a deeper connection and happiness within the marriage.  How I interpret this, is that many of you feel that if you take a step back and look at the FLR as whole, there is fairness.  "I'm-hers" pointed out that perspective or definition of fairness can make a difference in what is fair and not fair. Others commented on this as well.  This is good stuff! 

After taking it all in, I still think ultimately a FLR is a bit unfair towards the submissive.  What I have learned from your responses is that although there is unfairness, there are certain aspects that bring fairness, especially when you look at the overall benefits of the FLR.  If you were to take a few days of a FLR and break it up into small segments and look at just those segments individually, you would probably see a lot of unfairness.  For example your might see the husband taking orders from his wife, doing most of the chores, and pampering her.  You might see him wanting to do something but being told no by his wife. However, if you glue all those pieces together and see the overall benefits, and if you were to talk to the submissive partner and understand his feelings towards that treatment, you would probably find that it is not as unfair as it seems. 

Prior to understanding this I would have not inserted the words "a bit" in the first sentence of the previous paragraph.    I also believe that unfairness is not always a bad thing.  Sometimes it is needed to accomplish things and it is in the best interest of all parties. I'd like to end with a quote from "sublove" which I think puts a great perspective on the topic:

"But really, what is fair and why is it so important? To me, if someone is overly concerned with things being fair, that person is centered on him or herself too much. I believe strongly in what comes around goes around, you are what you eat, show me your friends.... etc. If you're always worried about what's fair then you will probably never have enough. If you go about the business of giving of yourself, (submitting, as it were) helping others, then you appreciate the things you do have and that creates happiness.

Thank you all for contributing to this post.

-MzKaylee

Is a Female Led Relationship Fair?

I would like to pose this question to all of you. I have my thoughts and opinions on this but before I share them I would like to hear from you. Is a FLR fair?

Inquiring Minds Want To Know

I've received several post comments, questions, and e-mails recently.  I think it is great that many of you are taking an interest in what I write and I truly appreciate the positive comments and support.  I encourage all of you to go back through my blogs and read the comments and add your own thoughts, opinions.  If you are a female involved in a FLR, I welcome your opinions and advice with open arms. The more we can discuss and share, the more others can understand the wonderful benefits of a FLR and hopefully be encouraged to move their relationship in that direction.

Below I've responded to some of the questions I have received. A few are a bit off-topic but boys will boys and I know these things are always in the back of your mind.......

What are your thoughts on cuckolding?

 It is not something that interests me.  I enjoy the intimacy I have with my husband and have no desire to disrupt that with another person. If both partners agree to it and it works for you, then that's great.  It becomes another tool for the wife to control the husband and another mechanism to add spice to the relationship.  It is something that should be contemplated seriously before starting and both partners need to over communicate their feelings throughout the process.. Relationships and emotions are delicate and bringing others into the mix can cause issues.  However, I know for many people it works well.

 

How often does your husband pleasure you? 

Of course you know the answer is that he pleasures me when I want :). The frequency varies depending on what's going in our life at the time. We have two teenage kids so right now finding time alone is a challenge.  I'd say on average 1 - 2 times a week but sometimes it can be less frequent.  Men seem to be so focused on the act of sex.  Don't get me wrong, it is great, but there are so many other good things.  I love a foot massage, having him serve me breakfast in bed, or simply having him kneeling at attention for me. Not to mention I tease him quite a bit during the week, which brings me sexual satisfaction.

 

How often do you let him climax? 

I do not keep track.  He climax's when I decide, which can be when I am in the mood to allow him (not often) or if I notice he is getting a little antsy.  I call it the "annoying factor."  When he starts to get annoying it is usually because he is overdue for an orgasm. I would say he typically goes anywhere from 4 - 8 weeks.  Sometimes it is longer and on occasion it may be shorter.  While his orgasms are rare, he gets lot of teasing in between.  I find this length of denial combined with regular teasing keeps him in a constant state of arousal, which he enjoys and it keeps him wanting to pleasing and serve me.

 

Do you allow sexual intercourse?

Yes.  There is a lot of symbolism in our sexual intercourse.  Thomas views it as a very special privilege to have sex with his Goddess Wife.  He knows that in our marriage it is not something he is entitled to.  Often times after we have sex he thanks me for allowing him to have sex with me.  I love that he uses the word 'allowing'.  During intercourse I am on top and in control.  He does not thrust unless I allow it.  If there is any thrusting it is only for my benefit, to enhance my pleasure.   Thomas has the mindset during intercourse to focus on pleasing me and to suppress his own orgasm. He never expects an orgasm during intercourse and he is not allowed to orgasm unless I give permission.  I will only allow him to orgasm during intercourse once or twice a year.

The frequency of our intercourse varies based on my mood and how busy we are.  Most of the time I have him pleasure me orally or with his fingers so intercourse is not very frequent.  I enjoy limiting it as a form of control over him and to let him know that it is a very special privilege.  Often times we have intercourse about once a month.  There are also times when we go 2 - 3 months without intercourse.

This may seem extreme to some of you but it works for us. Thomas enjoys being controlled in this way.  He gets an erotic rush when I have an orgasm during sex while he is denied.  I will drift to sleep afterward while he is awake and fully aroused.  He loves it!  He has told me that it arouses him whenever he thinks about the fact that he will never be allowed to have regular sex with me.  My control and restrictions over his sex life is a thrill for him (and me too :).
 

What are your thoughts on semen?  Is it gross?  Erotic?  Something you want to totally avoid?  I'm neutral.  I don't think it is gross and I don't get overly excited by it.  It just a part of sex.

Do any of your friends have a FLR?
Not that I am aware of.  It is not something that I talk about with friends.  We keep to ourselves about our FLR.

-MzKaylee
 

Thank You

I just wanted to a post a big THANK YOU to all of you who read and comment on my blog.  The number of viewers keeps climbing every day which is very encouraging to me.  I truly appreciate all of the comments that are posted.  I encourage you to read through the comments and post your own thoughts.   Even if you have differing opinions, please share.  Whenever there is differing opinions, good discussions always ensues. It's o.k. if we disagree. We just need to be respectful in how we disagree.  There is no one right answer to a FLR so I am always thrilled to hear about people's different experiences and enjoy engaging in discussion on these topics.  I titled my blog Femdom Think Tank because I truly want it to reflect a collaboration of thoughts of many people.  These come through in the comments as well as the posts.  If anyone is interested in posting a topic on my blog or simply sharing a memorable experience email me at MzKaylee101@gmail.com

Thank You!