Those Weird Kinky Moments That Bring Us Closer Together

Sex is an important part of marriage and I believe kink has a rightful place in the marriage as well. Just about every man in the world would not argue with this. It's unfortunate that many women do not recognize this. When a woman ignores the sexual component of her marriage it creates stress in the marriage which can cause her to be distant from her husband, or even worse, it creates risk for an affair to occur.  Men are sexual creatures; this can not be ignored. Women are sexual too, but for men it's much more prevalent and always on their minds.

In a FLR the woman recognizes the importance of sex to the man and uses it as a tool to control him and maintain authority over him. A woman who embraces her husband's submission and sexual desires will create an environment that strengthens the marriage and bring the couple closer together and connected on a deep spiritual level. When done right, a FLR builds an environment where the husband's life evolves around her not just because there are rules, but because he worships her, adores her, and is addicted to her authority and control. In this type of environment, the man feels lucky to be married to his wife and strives to to please her any way he can. The thought of an affair is non-existent.

Many women struggle with embracing their inner Goddess or Mistress. This includes letting their inhibitions go and actively using their husband's sexual desires and fantasies as tools to elevate her control and authority over him. It was something that took me awhile to understand and embrace and when I did, it opened up a whole new world to me. Here is the crazy thing - In talking with a friend of mine (you know who you are :)), we both came to the conclusion that those strange kinky moments brought us closer together with our husbands in a big way.  It's something you have to experience to truly understand. Before I elaborate, I'd like to share a few quotes from Elise Sutton. I consider her an expert on female authority and she has been a wonderful influence on both my husband and I.  In the early years of our FLR, my husband bought me one of her books and it helped me to understand how real and fulfilling a FLR lifestyle is.

"Men create the majority of FemDom art, pictures and images to express how powerful women are in their eyes and how weak they feel in a woman’s presence. These images represent what men are feeling inside."

"So I say to the ladies, please do not get offended by FemDom artwork, videos, or literature, no matter how graphic in nature some of these may be. Instead, look more closely at what is being expressed by the male gender. What are men trying to convey when they produce media that shows men collared and bound at the feet of a woman? Ask yourself, why are sites like The Other World Kingdom so popular with men? What do these pictures say about the male submissive nature?  If a woman will look closer, get over her prudish and self-righteous ways and examine the message more than the content, then she will gain an incredible insight into the male psyche. What is the underlying message to all of these expressions, regardless of the content? Is it not simply the male gender recognizing his need to submit to the female gender? Is it not the inner male child, crying out to be disciplined and trained by the female gender? Is it not the true nature of man breaking forth in his attempt to surrender himself to the female gender?"

The entire article can be found here:  http://femdoming.com/what-is-female-domination-female-supremacy/ 

The article also talks about female superiority, which has been a hot topic here the last few weeks so be sure to check it out.

Ms. Sutton's observations and insights are spot on. Women need to understand that men desire kink and submissive men desire to be dominated by a woman. They want to be spanked, punished, held accountable, and put in an environment filled with rules, strictness, and rituals that reinforce their submission. They are happiest and most productive when they are in this type of environment. When things start turning back to "vanilla" their minds wander back to porn and fantasies and the focus comes off of the their wives. Even in a FLR, this can happen. Overtime, the FLR becomes routine and the spice is lost. Men in this situation overtime will often just accept the situation and even start believing that kinkiness should not be a part of the FLR. I've seen this dynamic play out in forums where you have people who have many years of experience in a FLR.  A new comer posts a kinky experience and then all the old timers blast him for it. In those situations, I think it's the old-timers that need to reevaluate themselves. They've essentially been trained by their wives that the kinky desires are bad or that they should suppress these desires. However, I'm pretty sure deep down, those desires exist in those men and if their wives simply played into them, it would take their marriage to a whole new level and the men would not complain at all.

I'll caveat a few things here. For most men, the need for kink declines when they are older but I don't think it ever goes away. I can tell you my hubby is in his late 40's and is horny as ever.  Also, in more mature relationships there tends to be a less emphasis on kink. I believe it's in the best interest of the marriage to always have some level of kink, but the frequency and intensity of it will vary based on the individuals desires and will probably change over time.

I also want to make it clear that I am not saying the old-timers in my example are unhappy or disconnected in the marriage. The fact that they are in a FLR probably means they are happier and more connected to their wives than most other men who are in vanilla relationships. One can certainly have a FLR without kink. The point I am making is that kink is a powerful tool that brings the couple closer together, makes the marriage happier, contributes to the increasing authority of the wife over the husband and for the husband creates loyalty to his wife. A husband without kink is living like a caterpillar, whereas if he had kink, he could experience his full potential as a butterfly and live a much more fulfilling life. With kink he will happily soar on his submissive wings and bring even greater joy to his wife.

I will share a few of my own personal examples to bring some context to all this theory. When I first married Thomas, I never imagined that many years later I would have him lying over my lap, dressed in frilly panties, and waiting be spanked with my riding crop. I did not even know the concept of orgasm control and denial, or that there were wives that punished their husbands. When Thomas brought those concepts to me I thought it was strange and weird but I kept an open mind about it and gave it a try. It was only after living through these experiences a few times that I began to gain an understanding of why the FLR dynamic worked.

One of my earlier kinky experiences was when I focused on the "little girl" in Thomas. I had put him in panties previously, but this particular time, I was more comfortable in my role and I playfully teased him and talked about how cute he was in panties and told him that he was my little girl. The reaction from him was indescribable. He was quiet, docile, almost blank. I knew he was aroused beyond belief.  He was in subspace.  I think he was shocked that I went "there" and I was a little surprised myself. I felt his vulnerability, his submission to me, and my power over him. He was putty in my hands.

It was a very intimate moment for us. It brought us closer together. The next day he could not thank me enough for doing it. His obedience to me was at an all time high the next few days and his loyalty to me increased. He confessed he was embarrassed by it but that he was also very excited by what happened. He did not understand it, but he loved it. How many husbands and wives have those types of very personal and intimate experiences and discussions? When you can  talk about those things, it creates a special bond. It is wonderful.

I have more examples to share but I will pause there for now. Please share your thoughts or similar experiences. I also encourage all of the women readers to explore the kinky side of the relationship. It's never too late to start. Trust me, your husband will love it and it will do wonders for your relationship. If you have any reservations about this, please share and we can discuss.

-Mz Kaylee