Is The 24/7 Wife Led Marriage Lifestyle Possible?

Several of the topic suggestions from my last post were related to the 24/7 Wife Led Marriage (WLM) lifestyle and how it works. There are many facets to the lifestyle and addressing them all in one post is not possible. My blog is a good resource for learning about the lifestyle so if you are interested in how it works, then it is worth your time to go back and read the older posts. In this post I will touch on some of the key aspects. For many of you a WLM is a fantasy and may seem like it could never be reality. Others may view WLM as crazy and not realistic. I absolutely can relate, because I remember reading about the lifestyle when I was younger and thinking the same things. I am here now to tell you it is possible and it is very practical. When both partners are committed to the WLM it is an excellent form of marriage that encourages communication, reduces conflict, and creates and strong emotional bond between husband and wife. I have experienced all of those benefits and many of the readers of this blog have also expressed that they have experienced the same benefits in their WLM. 

When I take a step back and look at what goes on in my WLM, it seems very crazy. 10 years ago, I would have never guessed that I would be punishing my husband, controlling when he can orgasm, making him wear panties, sending him to the corner, and expecting him to do almost all the chores. I would have never imagined that I would be getting massages from him several time a week, and that he would be giving me baths and fetching things for me without question or hesitation. 10 years ago, that all seemed like extreme domination and fantasy to me. Fast forward to today and when I am in the moment it feels so normal to me and it works very well for us. Our marriage is strong and we are having a ton of fun together. Now I could not imagine going back to the "vanilla" lifestyle. 

The 24/7 WLM lifestyle is most definitely possible but it requires commitment from both the husband and wife. Everything is not going to suddenly fall into place and work perfectly, when you both decide you want to do it. Establishing the WLM is easy; getting it to the point where things are humming along great is a journey with many ups and downs and twists and turns. At least that has been my experience. Like most new things you try in life, it takes time, experience, and trail and error to get comfortable with it and good at it. For example, most people are not going to be able to pick up a golf club and hit the ball straight and far right away. Their first game of golf will probably be terrible. Some people may learn quickly and love the game right away. Many others will take several years to get good at it, and may even get frustrated and give it up a few times along the way and then come back to it later. However, once they hit that perfect shot for the first time, there is great joy, and when they start to see their balls going straighter more often, their confidence builds and there is motivation to keep playing. You can expect similar experiences and emotions when building a WLM.

The Day-to-Day Life in a  24/7 WLM

The daily life of a WLM can vary significantly from couple-to-couple. It largely depends on how the wife wants to lead the relationship and how committed the husband is to making it work. Other variables such as, the maturity of the relationship, whether there are kids in the house, and work/family demands, affect how the WLM operates. My WLM certainly has changed over time and is much different now then when I first started.

The WLM lifestyle for most people is not about the wife exerting extreme control over the husband every day. She is not dressing in leather every day or forcing him to be naked and collared all of the time. She is not barking orders at him 24/7 and constantly punishing him. Perhaps some people live like that but the vast majority of us can not feasibly live like that and do not want that everyday. It is tiring and non-productive.  The key to the long-term WLM, is to blend the control and submissive aspects into every day life. I've written more about this in my post "Creating a Productive Environment for YourSubmissive:" https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/1938012059034696763/5367148811547645825

For the lifestyle to be sustainable, there also needs to be commitment from the husband to serve, obey, and yield to his wife's authority. If he is not willingly yielding to her and accepting her authority over him, even when he does not agree or like the outcome, then it create un-needed tension that strains the relationship. Likewise. the wife needs to be committed to leading the marriage in the best interest of the couple. This means taking into consideration the husband's needs and desires when making decisions. The wife also has the responsibility of actively leading the WLM by setting clear expectations for the husband, implementing rules and routines for him, monitoring his performance, incorporating regular discipline and rewards for him, and if needed punishment to hold him accountable. A successful WLM takes effort and sacrifice to be sustainable. It does not just happen on its own. 

Benefits of WLM

The good news is that when both spouses are committed and fully engaged in the WLM principles, there are many benefits. The marriage becomes stronger, the couple grows closer together, there is better communication and less conflicts, and their happiness increases. Another fantastic benefit is that the house is always clean! For the wife, the effort she puts into leading, results in a much higher standard of living, She is being served and pampered and does not have to be bothered with boring mundane tasks and chores. She gets pleasured whenever and however she wants and sex and foreplay are primarily focused on her. Perhaps the biggest benefit of all, is that she gets what she wants and lives like a Queen and Goddess. If you are a female that is just starting out in the lifestyle, you may not be experiencing all these benefits yet, but over time with proper training and discipline of your husband, you will get there.

The husband benefits by getting to live out his submissive fantasy in real life, which helps to satisfy his submissive craving. His submission toward his wife also creates a sense of fulfillment and purpose within, which makes the experience incredibly rewarding and satisfying. It is a much deeper satisfaction than engaging in pornography or with a dominatrix or online mistress. An unexpected benefit that my husband has mentioned, is that he feels like a more productive person because of all that he accomplishes through obeying me. The WLM can also reduce stress and improve the overall well-being of the husband because submissive individuals thrive in environments where there are clear expectations and they are told what to do. Finally, even though the submissive may be denied orgasm regularly, his sex life becomes better and more active in a WLM. This is because he learns to experience pleasure in new ways. Those who discover the pleasure of being teased and denied, experience an entirely new level of arousal, and often prefer denial over orgasm. His sex life also improves because the wife learns to incorporate more teasing and sexual motivators into the marriage. 

Making it Work

Just like other relationships, the WLM takes effort and sacrifice to make it work. There could be days or even weeks where there is no overt domination. However, those days and weeks are filled with subtle domination and lots of expectations and rules. Every day, the submissive operates within these rules and expectations with the intent to please his wife. He knows that he will be held accountable if he does not follow the rules or meet expectations. Contrary to what many may think, the husband makes decisions in a WLM. It is not practical or convenient to restrict decisions. However, his decision-making is done with his wife's needs, desires, and expectations in mind. Poor decisions or inappropriate decision- making are subject to punishment or discipline. When presented with a decision, it is incumbent on the husband to exercise common sense in determining which decisions he has authority to make and which decisions need the approval of his wife or should be referred to his wife. He also understands that his wife has the final say in all decisions, regardless of his opinion, and he willingly accepts this and yields to her.

The WLM incorporate non-traditional methods such as orgasm control, punishment, rewards, discipline, training, and sexual domination. Those are some examples. There are many more approaches that are effective for a WLM and not all couples will employ all strategies. As noted earlier in the post, different approaches appeal to different people and you should use what works best for your relationship. The non-traditional methods are important strategies that teach the husband how to properly serve his wife, motivate the husband to serve and please her, and deter him from bad habits and bad behavior. These strategies should exist in both new and mature WLMs. I also encourage females to delve into the more fun and kinky aspects of female domination as these can be mind blowing experiences and great motivators for the husband. Surprisingly, a few of the kinky experiences with my husband have been the most intimate and "soul connecting" moments with him. I know I am not alone in experiencing this. Over the years, many readers have shared similar experiences with me. Hopefully this is enough to convince some of you to let your inhibitions go and try something kinky and fun.

To sum it all up, the 24/7 WLM is sustainable over the long-term when both wife and husband are committed to making it work, incorporate the dynamic into their day-to-day life, and find the right balance of control and domination that works for them. If you are thinking about a WLM or new to it, I want you to know that it is a fantastic lifestyle. It takes a lot of effort, communication, and trial and error to get it running smoothly, but once you get there, it is fantastic! I will also add that the journey to get there is an amazing learning experience that helps you both grow as individuals. 

-Mz Kaylee

The Good Devoted Slave

 

The good devoted slave is one who does was he is supposed to do when his Goddess Wife is not looking, one who corrects her mistakes without letting her know, and one who actively seeks ways to please her without being told.

BLOG UPDATE: New section added for erotic stories

It is fun to fantasize and imagine what could be, even though it may never be...or who knows maybe your fantasies will come true. In the spirit of this fun, I have added a new section to my blog for erotic stories.  Just look to the menus on the right, page down, and you will see it.

Thank you to "Onewhoadores" for being the first contributor to this section. If you would like to submit an erotic story, send it to mzkaylee101@gmail.com and let me know what name you would like it published under.

Please note that I will not be editing stories. They will be published "as-is" so take the time to spell check, format, and edit your submission prior to sending to me.

This is a blog about wife led marriage, female led relationships, and female domination, and therefore, stories should fit within those themes. Stories, counter to those themes or off-topic will not be published. Stories that are inappropriate or that I deem offensive will not be published (e.g. no stories involving kids, incest, etc.).

I look forward to others submitting erotic stories and I hope that it brings a fun new dynamic to the blog.

-MzKaylee.

Non kink based reasons for implementing FLR based techniques in your loving relationship (Guest post by AJ)

There are many reasons why women involved in an female led relationship may incorporate tools into the relationship such as orgasm management, chastity, pegging, and discipline. Most of those reasons I’ve already detailed in some of my previous posts on this site, and those previously discussed items revolve around enhancing sexual and domestic enjoyment for both partners in the relationship. What I have not touched upon in those previous posts are some additional, not widely discussed, more practical reasons why the female partner and for that matter also the male partner, may find benefit from using these FLR practices.

As we all know many men, particularly those of middle aged years and beyond, but also surprisingly large numbers of younger men, experience various issues with their penis’s. These issues can range from premature ejaculation, retarded ejaculation, as well as erectile dysfunction issues. I think men have it very difficult in this regard as they have these big (or not so big:) ) bulky physical appendages which are so out there for all to see during sex. When they have performance issues of any type, particularly with ED but also with premature ejaculation, it's all too quickly and obviously evident to us women - and to them. There are all sorts of reasons for these issues both physical and mental and it can really become a serious source of relationship angst for any couple. Some men also find it very difficult to orgasm, especially from PIV sex, which can lead to problems as well. Speaking from a woman's perspective, I feel that frequently, but not always obviously (there are multiple causes for these issues and many are very complex and some are completely and truly out of his control) a fair portion of these penile issues are self induced by a man and stem from his own self abuse issues, i.e. frequent masturbation and over indulgence in various porn imagery. When a man gets used to frequently choking his own chicken so to speak, he very often uses a death type grip on his penis which long term serves to desensitize his penis to the more delicate PIV sensations he requires for partner sex, leading to his inability to ejaculate when inside us. This can be an issue if the woman doesn't really want to engage in sex or does not enjoy long bouts of sex. All of that prolonged in and out friction as he attempts to orgasm can cause us some pretty intense pain and irritation. 

Similarly, if a man conditions himself to viewing certain kinds of porn while masturbating or leading up to his masturbation, he also can condition himself in such a way where without that imagery present in his eyes and mind, i.e. when making love to his woman instead of to the computer screen, he can also not experience all of the mental and visual stimulation that he has conditioned his body to expect for his orgasm to occur in a timely manner. When he over indulges in self pleasure he also depletes his supply of ready semen as well as throws his whole sexual hormonal balance completely out of whack. So his desire for sex may greatly diminish as result. Frequent masturbation can also lead to the reverse condition as well, premature ejaculation. He so frequently over stimulates himself that he trains himself to be on hair trigger for his orgasms. As result us women begin to experience more of the wham bam thank you mam variety of sex. He gets off but we never do. Over indulgence in porn and “self jackery” can also cause situations where he is just no longer finding himself stimulated enough in his mind to enjoy normal partner based sex and he can no longer get it up for us as result. 

Again there are many other valid psychological and physical issues which may account for these performance related issues in your man, but a fair percentage of them, I feel can be self induced by his own personal behavior. Diet and exercise, controllable items in his domain, can also play large factor in these types of issues. Obviously if we in an FLR employ tools such as orgasm management and chastity we can curtail much of this self destructive behavior and correct much of these self induced issues for the betterment of both parties in the relationship. These are the aspects of orgasm control and chastity which I have previously posted about. Regardless of whether or not the source of his issues are self made or completely out of his control, FLR tools can come to the rescue of your sexual relationship. This is what I intend to be the real intent of this post today. If partner sex is going to frequently lead to frustrations of ED and ejaculatory issues, both partners experience that pain and frustration, not just the man. The loving partner sex act then suffers greatly as result. I think subconsciously many couples may begin to dread sex because of the inevitability of these issues coming up during sex, so sex becomes, to speak candidly, more trouble than it may be worth. As a wife, it pains me to see the emotional torment and distraught that he may experience when he incurs these various issues during our love making. Take my own sexual satisfaction completely out of the picture with that. So there is all sorts of very real mental and relationship issues experienced by both man and partner when these matters routinely crop up in your love making.

How to remedy his performance issues? The very simple and shockingly “no shit” answer to this whole dilemma is to take away his ability (very largely) to use his penis during sex,  ever. It really is that simple of a solution!

Outside of all of the more kink based FLR reasons we usually think of when it comes to restricting his use of his own penis, this straight forward approach gives him and you a simple and foolproof OUT to not willingly experience his performance based issues in the future. He no longer has to feel guilty or mentally tormented by having these issues flaunted in his face every time you have sex. He can instead say psychologically, I am not being allowed to have an erection or experience an orgasm today because my partner is in complete sexual control of me today and that is not what she wants today. I am either being told no orgasm today (through chastity or not), or my penis is not at all being put in play for today’s sexual activities, so its not my fault or in my control, its totally her decision and will that I am bending to.  I’m going to be more than happy in just pleasuring her with either my mouth, my fingers or some other tool of her choosing, but not my penis. Believe it or not this simple fact or truth can be so immensely liberating to him as a man. He does not have to worry about performing that day or the next. He knows he wont then suffer the angst of not coming through for you. Similarly this is also a huge relief to us as women as we can skip the whole episode of “yup it happened again, lets clean up and just go back to sleep”. By simply saying to your man “NO PENIS” during our sex tonight, you are freeing him from this overwhelming performance responsibility he may be experiencing. But also in so doing you are also reconditioning him to experience sex in ways much more beneficial both to himself and yourself by doing that, and that is even more important as it truly will improve the sex for both partners despite him having these issues. When you take control of your mans ability to orgasm, his frequency or orgasm, or his ability to manipulate his penis at his own whim whenever he feels like it, you are setting him up for success. You are doing him a huge favor as well as one for yourself. Your love making will improve 10 fold I guarantee it. He will begin to experience sex as something which he primarily does to satisfy his partner, without thinking of himself first. His enjoyment in sex will really come down to his developing ability to bring you to complete sexual satisfaction and orgasm every time you partake. In my marriage this is almost nightly. With time, surprisingly little time, he will really experience immense self sexual enjoyment and fulfillment in simply pleasuring you. Your orgasm becomes his ultimate victory and his sense of manly pride soars as well as it becomes his own pseudo source of orgasm. By my husbands own words, he experiences a huge uplift knowing that his technique and skills brought it about.  He experiences a complete sense of physical and psychological nirvana which greatly surpass those he previously experienced when he himself was allowed to orgasm. His penis never leaves his cage when all of this occurs! It really is amazing to the both of us as to how unneeded his penis has become in our love making and how neither one of us really miss it at all in our love making. We both experience sexual and pure mental bliss without it ever coming out to play. Amazing!

By rationing and severely limiting his ability to self play as well as partner play with his penis, you are reconditioning him both mentally, as described above, as well as physically. By restricting his self touch and your touch to his penis you are making it far more sensitive to your (not his) controlled sexual stimulus and when it really counts. When you decide its time for him to come out and play, when you think he is ready AND ABLE. When you think he is deserving of that extra special treat. He is much more likely to perform physically with his penis to both your and his sexual satisfaction as result of this rationing and reconditioning. More importantly, if he does have a re-occurrence of his old issues, and with age related penile issues in particular there is still a good likelihood of that happening despite your best of care, its no longer a big deal! The number of times a year that this potentially is likely to happen will be so few. Due to your rationing of his penis's use, this won't become that mental hang up point that it once was for the both of you. It's no longer constantly on his mind and its no longer constantly disrupting your sexual experiences. By following this controlled technique, it becomes a much more manageable issue for the both of you if and when it re-occurs.

“Honey I know its still a problem and I’m sorry it happened again, but really its not that big of a deal, we have something much better going on right now for the both of us anyhow. Go get cleaned up and lets get your cage back on”.

And then just as suddenly your back to what works and feels best for the both of you for another long stretch of time. The problem is really solved this simply. Your man does not suffer and in fact his sexual satisfaction is greatly increased by employing these techniques.  Your man's frequency and your frequency of enjoyable sex will actually drastically increase following these techniques. So instead of having this relatively small number of sexual encounters which frequently end in utter disappointment for both partners, you go to this new sex which has many more occurrences, possibly even nightly if the woman desires it.  Sex where both partners are receiving highly satisfying and pleasurable stimulation. As the woman becomes to experience more and more successful instances of orgasm and/or just plain pleasure as direct result of training her husband in his sexual techniques, her desire for sex is very likely to go up. Following FLR principles your man will become much more receptive to receiving your critique of his sexual performance, and you will be able to direct him much more compliantly in those sexual activities (the proper use of his tongue, his fingers, those penetrative toys) which you find enjoyable and which result in orgasm or pleasure for you. You are re-training his sexual techniques to work for you. 

By increasing the number of pleasurable instances of sex for the woman, you are also building his confidence back up. You are making him feel successful and fully capable again with sex. He will take great pleasure in being able to satisfy you. Men are goal driven, men also respond extremely well with visual stimulation (that's a large part of why they watch so much porn), so by presenting him with this plethora of highly successful sexual activity in which he plays the leading role, you are also driving down his need and desire for porn based activities. You become his porn, and believe me you will be able to get as much sexual attention from him that you desire. This may sound worrying to a woman who is used to getting unsatisfying sex, but through these techniques a woman will find that the physical nature of sex can become extremely nice and something to look forward to. As both of you evolve in your love making, FLR style, I believe that both partners will become highly satiated with the frequency, QUALITY, and duration of sex - I know I did. Sex becomes something which you look forward to and not something which you view with apprehension and possibly dread. So its a big win for him and a huge win for her.

As your FLR evolves, you can also institute other advanced techniques into your love making. Other means of providing him with some direct physical stimulation which does not involve his problematic penis. By this I mean pegging. When you take away his ability to focus 100% of his physical pleasure on his penis, you open up a whole new realm of possibilities for both him and you. You may be surprised as to how quickly your man can become reconditioned to achieve large physical pleasure when that attention is focused to his butt and prostate. He will evolve to greatly enjoy the wonderful and pleasurable sensations you can provide him through back door activity. You are providing him with a very viable and alternate means to achieve physical sexual satisfaction, and he will love you for this. Again thinking out of the box. Making things work and wonderful when certain other things no longer work so well and aren't quite so wonderful. Sex does not need to begin or end or anything else with his penis in the equation. Don’t get hung up on performance issues and work around them, you may very well learn that when all is said and done nothing is really being given up but there is something truly being gained! I know that in my marriage our sex has never been better for the both of us. FLR and the tools of FLR not only provide us with this huge physical benefit but so many others. Our domestic life is so much better and satisfying. I have covered these other FLR benefits in previous posts. But bottom go away thought for this post, there is more to controlling his cock than meets the eye. Its not just kink! Enjoy.

-AJ

Topic Ideas?

 ?

I have written about so many topics related to Wife Led Marriage over the last few years. I am honestly running out of ideas of things to post.  What are some topics that you all would like to hear about?

I would love to pose a question to everyone and have people submit opinion posts providing different view points to answer the question.  What are some good questions that can be posed that would generate a good discussion and different opinions?

WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

There are several great insights found in Evan's profile, which I recently published in the profile pages of my blog.  One item that I'd like to mention is the sentence highlighted below in purple. 

How have things evolved or changed with you and as a couple in your WLM/FLR over time since starting the WLM/FLR? How does this compare to how you were prior to the WLM/FLR?

Worlds better. Instead of constantly complaining about what I wish I could have, I've learned to accept my role with joy and humility. Earlier, she would try to accommodate me by giving me what I thought I wanted, but eventually she figured out that what I really wanted was to be forced to do whatever *she* wanted.

This is a challenge for many couples new to WLM. Notice that there are two distinct issues embedded in Evan's statement: 1) the wife catering solely to his submissive desires, and 2) the "what I thought I wanted" issue. So many guys think they know what they want when it comes to domination and submission, but really do not understand what exactly they want or need. It is quite a dilemma because when you think you know it all, it becomes very difficult to see the truth and change. The end result of not figuring out the right path, is that submission is unfulfilling to the husband (he's constantly searching for the next "fix") and the wife becomes tired and disengaged.

Evan is very fortunate that both he and his wife figured out that him serving her needs and desires is the true path to happiness and fulfillment in a WLM.

Thoughts?

-Mz Kaylee

House Husband

When I came downstairs in the morning, there was Thomas, in the kitchen, barefoot and in his robe, wiping down the counter. My coffee and breakfast were made and both were packed in "to-go" containers sitting next to my lunch bag- all ready for me to take to work. He had already loaded my work bag into my car. He greeted me with a cheerful "good morning Goddess." How wonderful for me. He is so well trained. This is how my week day mornings start every day.

I couldn't help but think of how much Thomas is like the 1950s housewife. He is my housewife....err...I mean house husband. Except that I think the house husband is an improvement over the housewife.  Who say men can not do chores? They just need proper training. Not only does he do chores, but he takes care of the house, yard, and cars. On top of all that he holds a job, which is not something the 1950s housewife did. Ladies, you need to rethink the role of your husband in the marriage and expect more of him!

Below is a list that has been published from a 1950s High School Home Economic textbook on hoe to be a good house wife. I chuckled a little bit reading some of these, but I see many of these applying to my house husband.

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some Don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.