My last few posts talked about changes that I made with Thomas. I wanted to post a follow-up to let you know how the changes are progressing. It took me quite awhile to write the posts (I am a slow writer). It's been several weeks since I first announced the changes to Thomas.
Overall, the changes have gone great. The teasing and fun approach that I used to announce the changes had an energizing effect on our relationship. It helped us get back into some of our routines and for the first few weeks afterwards we were much more intimate and loving with each other; almost like newlyweds. Thomas even bought me flowers and wrote me a note to thank me for planning the day and to tell me how much fun he had with me and how exciting it was for him to be teased and dominated by me. During all the fun, there was no orgasm for Thomas so he was quite horny, which kept him focused on wanting to please me in order to get attention for himself. We are still busy with work and other stuff, but now we are a little more inward focused on ourselves, which makes us gravitate together during the few free moments rather than go separate ways.
The discipline jar is going very well for me and not so well for Thomas :). He reached the $10 punishment threshold rather quickly the first time around. Because of how easy and quick it is for me assess fines, I end up giving him fines for little things that in the past I often forgot about or neglected to bring to his attention during his discipline session. If I see he did not put his shoes away - $1 fine; cleaned the kitchen but did not wipe the table - $1; put a shirt or sweater away in the wrong spot - $1; food scraps in the sink drain - $1; Smart remark to me - $2!. These are the little things that I'd forget to track previously or would even tolerate a bit. The nice things is it is quick and easy feedback for Thomas. He is now paying more attention to these smaller things and doing a better job. When $10 was accumulated in the jar, I laid out his punishment panties to wear. That night, I called Thomas to the room, took him over my lap and spanked him for each dollar in the jar. The discipline session was quick and efficient. I did not have to explain each item. We talked more in general terms about how things were going and what needed to be improved.
I have to admit that it is a bit fun to assess fines. Several of his fines have been delivered via text message when he was not home and I discovered something I am not pleased with (see how easy it is!). I have to be careful not to get too picky and take advantage of it. The good thing is that Thomas has had fun with it too. He will smile and show me the dollar as proof of his payment whenever he is on his way to deposit it in the jar. He even fined himself once. He did not put laundry away one night. When I saw the full basket in the morning, before I could even say anything, he said "I know..." and pulled out a dollar and put it in the jar. We both had a laugh over it. It has been fun for both of us and Thomas has said that he likes receiving the quick feedback. He knows he is often forgetful and can be lazy every now and then and this new system has helped him focus better on getting things done. He accumulated a lot of fines initially, but by now his fines have decreased quickly because he is learning to do better. Now he may only get assessed a fine or two during the week. This is proof to me that the system is working so I am very pleased with the results.
The food shopping training has gone well also. For the first few weeks it was more work for me but it was enjoyable. I decided that Thomas was to continue to wear panties, stockings, and garter belt for the food shopping until I felt he was fully trained. This would make the training fun. Just prior to the shopping trip he would have to put these items on (his shopping outfit). I made it a habit to be in the room when he was putting on his shopping outfit. He always had an erection when putting on his shopping outfit and I could tell he felt a bit embarrassed by this, which I thought was cute and sexy. I always made some type of comment of how cute, pretty, or sexy the outfit looked, or how soft the stocking were. While shopping in the store I might make a fun comment like, 'how's my housewife doing.' This was all just me having fun with him. After shopping was done and the groceries were put away, he was allowed to remove his shopping outfit (actually, this was required. I wanted the outfit to only be associated with shopping). During his training period, when he was done putting the groceries away, I would purposely hug him, kiss him, and get him a little aroused and thank him. I would tell him how excited I am that he is taking over the food shopping responsibility. I believe that doing things like that make it fun and rewarding for him, which makes him want to do it even more.
We do food shopping weekly. For the first two weeks I went to the store with Thomas for the 'on-the-job' training. It was also a learning experience for me as I had to learn to be more specific with some of the items on my list. It is amazing how many different brands and sizes of products there are or how many similar products. On my list, I may write 'jelly.' I know that means Welch's grape jelly but Thomas would have no clue. However, I made it clear to Thomas that part of his training was to learn these things. I would be a little more specific with some items, but I was not about to spend a lot of time writing out a detailed shopping list. It was up to him to learn and remember the specifics about the products we buy on a regular basis. My plan is to eventually get Thomas to the point where he is making the list and coming to me for any additional items to add.
The third week was a test for Thomas. He went on his own but I was available by phone. He called me just once to be sure he got the right item. When he arrived home, I supervised him putting the groceries away. He did well except that I noticed a few things on the counter that were not on the list. He bought doughnuts and snacks for himself to take to work. I reprimanded and fined him for this ($1 for each item). I told him he was not allowed to buy things that were not on the list without my permission unless he was using his own allowance. If he saw something in the store that he wanted to buy, he needed to call or text me for permission to buy it. I am sure I will relax this rule a bit in the future, but while in training I needed to be strict. Because of this issue, his training was extended another week and he would have to wear his shopping outfit again.
The following week everything went well so he was allowed to put away his stockings and garter belt for good (or until I decided otherwise). However, I designated the panties as his official shopping panties. He already has punishment panties so why not add another category. On the days he does food shopping, he must wear these all day. Now that he is trained, I am enjoying the extra time. It was fun for both of us during the training. We both agreed that it was nice shopping together. I may join in on his shopping trips every now and then in the future just to spend time with him.
Monitoring of his spending has been a bit challenging. He has already had to ask for additional money. There is a time each night when he is kneeling for me. I thought it was cute that he chose that time to ask for more money. His allowance was being used up quickly by the combination of me being more strict with the credit cards, him getting assessed discipline fines, and his allowance being reduced due to the payback of the "unauthorized charges" I discovered when reviewing past statements. Considering all these circumstances, I granted him additional allowance with no recourse but I told him this should not become a habit and he had to figure out a way to make it work going forward. Thomas has admitted to me that it is hard but he is glad that I am doing it. He likes the added control and he thinks it will make him spend his allowance more wisely.
Throughout the week I have received a few calls and texts from Thomas asking for permission to charge something to the credit card. So far, everything he has asked about has been acceptable and I have approved the request. I like having this added control. It is another way to stay connected with Thomas during the week and reinforce my control over him. It also keeps me abreast on the purchases he is making.
I am happy with how things are progressing with Thomas and am glad that I planned a full day to announce the changes. The day did cross over a bit into the fantasy world, but it was fun and re-energized our relationship.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Thursday, January 14, 2016
A Time For Change-Further explanation
I would like to take a moment to step back and discuss the logic and background information of why I did what I did when announcing my latest set of changes to Thomas. I had reservation about posting the details because I knew that my intentions could easily get miss-interpreted. I have received a few comments that have confirmed this. The comments cite that I am being abusive and not respecting or caring for my husband. I can reassure you, that what is being implied in the comments is not true at all in my case. Although the people who posted the comments mis-understood my intentions, I am thrilled by the messages being conveyed in the comments; A FLR should not be abusive; there needs to be respect and trust from both people; and the submissive is not weak or worthless. These are all absolutely true.
When I planned the weekend, I had two goals in mind. The first was to regroup and refresh our FLR. Both Thomas and I have ben busy with work and running the kids around. As a result, we were not spending as much time together and some of our routines were faltering. It happens. That is life. However, I believe it is important to take steps in your relationship to not let life consume you. As the saying goes, "stop and smell the roses". My second goal was simply to have fun. With being so busy, we have not had as much intimate time or even alone time together. Thomas is a natural submissive and I am a natural dominant. What better way to have fun for both of us than to plan a full day (which turned into a weekend) focused on domination/submission. I enjoy days like that but Thomas craves them.
To accomplish my first goal, I could have very easily spent time talking to Thomas about us getting back into our routines and conveyed to him the changes I wanted to make. It probably would have taken about an hour and that's it - goal accomplished. However, I wanted to make it fun. Thomas loves feeling my control and enjoys some of the fantasy aspect of domination, and so do I. Turning his mind to mush was my intent, but it was all in good fun. He loves when I do it. He calls it a great "mind fuck." While having fun was the biggest reason for my approach, there are also benefits that come with it, which help goal #1. By making it fun and associating the changes with pleasure and my satisfaction, it makes the changes more easily accepted by Thomas. It adds a positive spin to chores, that make them meaningful to Thomas and even a little bit fun. It is a win-win situation for both of us.
Taking over financial control is the topic that raised the most concern so I will address that first, Inserting control over someone's money is a sensitive topic as it can be seen a taking advantage of the person. Additionally, the approach I used was coercive and seductive. Taken out of context,the combination of those two items could imply abuse and evil intent. However, let me put in into context.
As noted above and in my original post, it was all in good fun with good intentions. For me, the financial control was more of a mind game with Thomas and a way to spice things up a bit. If you step back and look at what I did, there really was not much of a change of money. Both of us work and both our paychecks get deposited into a joint account. It's been like that since day one. He is on an weekly allowance but he handles all the bills, and he has access to the credit cards. None of that changed with what I did. What I changed was that the incremental amount of his next raise and his next bonus would be deposited into my account instead of our joint account. It was money I would have access to anyway. Additionally, since he is already on an allowance, he would not be able spend that money without my permission.
Also understand that Thomas and I have been happily married for 15+ years and have a very strong relationship. While I can get him to agree to just about anything when I tease and seduce him, if he had concerns about anything, I know he would convey them to me once his mind clears. It is my job as the leader to make sure his voice would be heard and then make the best decision for the relationship. Could someone do what I did and take advantage of someone? Absolutely. To quote Benjamin Parker from Spider man, "with great power comes great responsibility." As the leader, you need to make responsible decisions. If you do not, it will only lead to your relationship falling apart and probably even emotionally scaring your partner.
Finances are a sensitive topic and they should be. I would not advocate or support anyone doing this if they are not in a stable relationship or of they are not married (no matter how good the relationship). I also do not support the idea that the wife should have complete reign over finances without any input from her husband. This is foolish. I also disagree with those who say the wife must make the financial/money decisions in a FLR. This all depends on your situation. Let's face it, not everyone is good with money. If the husband has a better financial acumen than the wife, then it does not make sense for the wife to make these decisions. She should have input and the final say on the decisions but she does not need to control every aspect of it. In our case, Thomas is the one that is good with money which is why I let him manage the finances. I love that I don't have to worry about paying bills.
When all was said and done, did I gain more control? Yes, a little bit. I now have some money going to me that he will not have visibility into how I spend. Is that fair? Maybe not, but a FLR is not a 50/50 relationship and is not meant to be fair. I am the leader and there are perks with being the leader and Thomas accepts this and would not want it any other way. As I stated in my post, I value how prudent he is with money and he will continue to have input into how the bonus money is spent.
Hopefully that clears up things on the financial changes. With regards to shopping, I did exert my control over Thomas to get him to do shopping, and that was my decision. Again, it could be seen as unfair and that is just part of being in a FLR. It certainly is not cruel. I also pushed into the fantasy world a bit. Partly to add fun and part of it was just me getting caught up in the moment. Having Thomas wear stockings truly was fun for both him and I. I have no desire to feminize him but I do get a kick out of how he gets both turned on and embarrassed by it. I did it more to appeal to his fantasies but have to admit that in the moment, I got a rush out of dressing him in a garter belt and stockings. It was thrilling for me to see his demeanor change to passive, shy, and even more submissive during the process. I know he was aroused by it as well and this also excited me. I am certain that the sensations of the silk stockings rubbing over his legs while he shopped was exciting for him and will be ingrained in his mind for quite some time. These are the things that make the moments memorable for Thomas and also make chores fun or exciting for him.
The discipline jar was the most practical change and was handle in a very typical way. This was a way for me to adapt to our current busy lifestyle and it has worked out very well so far. I will provide an update on it in my next post.
When the weekend was over, Thomas could not thank me enough for what I did. He said it was one of the most exciting weekends for him and he loved how I dominated him, controlled him, and teased him. His was very aware that I was using teasing to weaken his mind and exert control and he loved it. He knew there was a fantasy aspect to it and that it was not abusive. It truly was a fun and intimate weekend for us.
When I planned the weekend, I had two goals in mind. The first was to regroup and refresh our FLR. Both Thomas and I have ben busy with work and running the kids around. As a result, we were not spending as much time together and some of our routines were faltering. It happens. That is life. However, I believe it is important to take steps in your relationship to not let life consume you. As the saying goes, "stop and smell the roses". My second goal was simply to have fun. With being so busy, we have not had as much intimate time or even alone time together. Thomas is a natural submissive and I am a natural dominant. What better way to have fun for both of us than to plan a full day (which turned into a weekend) focused on domination/submission. I enjoy days like that but Thomas craves them.
To accomplish my first goal, I could have very easily spent time talking to Thomas about us getting back into our routines and conveyed to him the changes I wanted to make. It probably would have taken about an hour and that's it - goal accomplished. However, I wanted to make it fun. Thomas loves feeling my control and enjoys some of the fantasy aspect of domination, and so do I. Turning his mind to mush was my intent, but it was all in good fun. He loves when I do it. He calls it a great "mind fuck." While having fun was the biggest reason for my approach, there are also benefits that come with it, which help goal #1. By making it fun and associating the changes with pleasure and my satisfaction, it makes the changes more easily accepted by Thomas. It adds a positive spin to chores, that make them meaningful to Thomas and even a little bit fun. It is a win-win situation for both of us.
Taking over financial control is the topic that raised the most concern so I will address that first, Inserting control over someone's money is a sensitive topic as it can be seen a taking advantage of the person. Additionally, the approach I used was coercive and seductive. Taken out of context,the combination of those two items could imply abuse and evil intent. However, let me put in into context.
As noted above and in my original post, it was all in good fun with good intentions. For me, the financial control was more of a mind game with Thomas and a way to spice things up a bit. If you step back and look at what I did, there really was not much of a change of money. Both of us work and both our paychecks get deposited into a joint account. It's been like that since day one. He is on an weekly allowance but he handles all the bills, and he has access to the credit cards. None of that changed with what I did. What I changed was that the incremental amount of his next raise and his next bonus would be deposited into my account instead of our joint account. It was money I would have access to anyway. Additionally, since he is already on an allowance, he would not be able spend that money without my permission.
Also understand that Thomas and I have been happily married for 15+ years and have a very strong relationship. While I can get him to agree to just about anything when I tease and seduce him, if he had concerns about anything, I know he would convey them to me once his mind clears. It is my job as the leader to make sure his voice would be heard and then make the best decision for the relationship. Could someone do what I did and take advantage of someone? Absolutely. To quote Benjamin Parker from Spider man, "with great power comes great responsibility." As the leader, you need to make responsible decisions. If you do not, it will only lead to your relationship falling apart and probably even emotionally scaring your partner.
Finances are a sensitive topic and they should be. I would not advocate or support anyone doing this if they are not in a stable relationship or of they are not married (no matter how good the relationship). I also do not support the idea that the wife should have complete reign over finances without any input from her husband. This is foolish. I also disagree with those who say the wife must make the financial/money decisions in a FLR. This all depends on your situation. Let's face it, not everyone is good with money. If the husband has a better financial acumen than the wife, then it does not make sense for the wife to make these decisions. She should have input and the final say on the decisions but she does not need to control every aspect of it. In our case, Thomas is the one that is good with money which is why I let him manage the finances. I love that I don't have to worry about paying bills.
When all was said and done, did I gain more control? Yes, a little bit. I now have some money going to me that he will not have visibility into how I spend. Is that fair? Maybe not, but a FLR is not a 50/50 relationship and is not meant to be fair. I am the leader and there are perks with being the leader and Thomas accepts this and would not want it any other way. As I stated in my post, I value how prudent he is with money and he will continue to have input into how the bonus money is spent.
Hopefully that clears up things on the financial changes. With regards to shopping, I did exert my control over Thomas to get him to do shopping, and that was my decision. Again, it could be seen as unfair and that is just part of being in a FLR. It certainly is not cruel. I also pushed into the fantasy world a bit. Partly to add fun and part of it was just me getting caught up in the moment. Having Thomas wear stockings truly was fun for both him and I. I have no desire to feminize him but I do get a kick out of how he gets both turned on and embarrassed by it. I did it more to appeal to his fantasies but have to admit that in the moment, I got a rush out of dressing him in a garter belt and stockings. It was thrilling for me to see his demeanor change to passive, shy, and even more submissive during the process. I know he was aroused by it as well and this also excited me. I am certain that the sensations of the silk stockings rubbing over his legs while he shopped was exciting for him and will be ingrained in his mind for quite some time. These are the things that make the moments memorable for Thomas and also make chores fun or exciting for him.
The discipline jar was the most practical change and was handle in a very typical way. This was a way for me to adapt to our current busy lifestyle and it has worked out very well so far. I will provide an update on it in my next post.
When the weekend was over, Thomas could not thank me enough for what I did. He said it was one of the most exciting weekends for him and he loved how I dominated him, controlled him, and teased him. His was very aware that I was using teasing to weaken his mind and exert control and he loved it. He knew there was a fantasy aspect to it and that it was not abusive. It truly was a fun and intimate weekend for us.
Thursday, January 7, 2016
A Time For Change - Food Shopping and more Financial Control
To recap what I have written on this topic so far, in my first post I teased Thomas unmercifully while I told him that his future raise and bonus would be deposited into my bank account instead of our joint account. Then I had a discipline session with him in which we talked about how busy we were but that we still needed to get back into our FLR routines. I introduced a new discipline method to him in which he will be assessed a $1 or more penalty for discipline related items, which will be payable into a discipline jar (and become my money).
By now it is a little after dinner and from all the teasing and dominating, Thomas is a horny mess. I can tell he has dropped into subspace and can not think straight. It is exactly the way I want him. He will do whatever I want. To be honest, I am in a subspace of my own. I guess for the dominant you can call it super space :) The way he reacts to whatever I tell him and how aroused he is from my control and aroused at the slightest touch or whisper from me is intoxicating. I may be enjoying it all more than him.
During the discipline session I brought up the topic of spending money. He is on a weekly allowance but he is also allowed to use his credit card to purchase regular things such as dog food, gas, and items for the house. However, if he needs or wants to purchase something that is not a regular expense item or is a big ticket item, he needs to ask for my permission first. I established this rule some time ago but never really enforced it and so he has not been following it. I gave him a few hard spanks for not following the rule and told him that I would start strictly enforcing it again. To further reinforce my point, I had him fetch the last three months of bank statements and credit card statements. Then I had him lay across my lap while reviewed them. For every item that looked questionable, I gave him a light slap on the butt with my riding crop and then asked him about the charge. I lightly rubbed his ass while he explained. If his explanation was acceptable I moved on. If I was not satisfied with his explanation, I reprimanded him and gave him a few hard slaps with the riding crop. I also circled the dollar amount on the statement.
When we were done, his ass was quite red. The were a few withdrawals from our bank account that were above and beyond his allowance and I came across several charges in which he should have asked for my permission or where he used the credit card when he should have used his allowance money. The good news was that there was nothing lavish or concerning to me that he was spending recklessly. I reduced his allowance by $20 a week for 8 weeks. I explained that this would pay back some of the money that he spent without permission. He was not happy about receiving a smaller allowance but he accepted it. I also told him that going forward, each month when the statements came in, he was to leave them on my bedroom dresser for me to review. If he failed to do this timely he would owe money to the discipline jar.
There was still one more change in rules that I had to go over with Thomas. I wanted him to take on the food shopping responsibilities. I had planned on explaining the change to Thomas Saturday night, and then take him to the grocery store on Sunday to train him. However, by now I felt that he had enough domination for one day and I was getting tired myself. I would discuss it with him in the morning. For the rest of the night, he pampered me and attended to my needs.
In the morning, it was no surprise for me to discover Thomas waking up with an erection. He told me he was so horny all night that he did not sleep that well. I rubbed his cock and told him I was glad to hear that. I liked that he was up all night excited about the changes that were happening. It was only a few minutes before he was begging me if he could cum. For whatever reason, it seems that in the mornings when he awakes, I can get him to the edge really fast.
I of course did not allow an orgasm, but I took the time to explain that I wanted him to start taking over the responsibility of food shopping so that I can free up some of my time. I would make a list each week and give it to him to shop with. He was expected to buy the items and put them away. Eventually I want him to learn to make the list himself and come to me for additions, but I did not tell him this yet (Baby steps first). I figure that after a few months I can work on that piece.
I let him know that he would need to be trained on the food shopping so that he learned the proper brands and item sizes to get. I would also train him on where to put things away when he got home. I like using the word "train," when I talk to him as it implies my authority over him. It is one of those subtle things that reinforces his submission and obedience to me. Thomas seemed excited to be trained to do the shopping and he told me it would make him happy to make my life easier by taking over the food shopping. Those words were music to my ears.
Before we headed out for food shopping, I had Thomas serve me breakfast in bed
wearing nothing but a pair of his new panties. I received the full Goddess treatment. He served me breakfast and rubbed my feet while I ate. Then he dressed me for the day. I wanted Thomas's first training shopping trip to be memorable and exciting so I decided to have a little fun with him. I ordered him to fetch his stockings and garter belts. He was surprised by this, but I could also see he was excited (tail wagging again). Panties are something he wears frequently for me, but stocking are a rarity. I have no intentions of feminizing him but on a rare occasion, just for fun, I will tiptoe into feminization with Thomas. He gets excited by it, even though he has a hard time admitting it. That's one of the reasons why I enjoy dabbling in it every now and then. I like that I can push his buttons in a way that he does not understand or in a way that he is innocently embarrassed by it. This is the control that he craves.
I helped him put on the garter belt and stockings and admired him. I told him, "These stockings will be so soft and silky rubbing over your legs while you walk through the store." He was in a bit of a haze now and mumbled, "yes Goddess." I then teased at how he will fit right in with all the other housewives in the store since he was wearing stockings and panties. I knew this comment would bounce around in his head while we shopped. These are the fun mind game that I like to play.
At the store, I explained the order in which I shopped. Yes, there is a strategy to my shopping :). Then I handed him the list and let him go at it. He had a lot of questions and I had to help him find things, but all in all it was a good trip. I waited in the car while he loaded the groceries. When he got in the car, I reached over and rubbed his crotch until he had an erection and then I kissed him and told him how much fun I had shopping with him and how excited I was that he was going to do all the shopping for me and free up my time. This was a very purposeful move that I did. I wanted to associate arousal, excitement, and my satisfaction with him doing the shopping.
At home, after he unloaded the car I had him strip down to his panties and stockings and put away the groceries. I supervised and helped him put everything in the right places. It was amazing at how little he knew. He never pays attention to these things! When everything was put away I led him to the couch and had him sit next to me. I teased him again, bringing him to the edge of orgasm several times. Then I again told him how much fun I had shopping with him and how excited I was for him to take over the grocery shopping responsibility. I teased that he would soon by my housewife. I also recapped all the new rules and told him how I was looking forward to getting his raise and bonus deposited into my account. He was so desperate to cum because I was teasing him while we talked. However, I did not allow it. I wanted him to remain horny all week so that he remains in a bit of a fantasy land and is excited about all the changes He is more compliant and obedient this way. After a little more torture, I told him to go get changed back to his normal clothes as we needed to pick-up the kids. He reluctantly obeyed. The fun, for now, was over.
As I noted in my previous blog, I wrote in a little more detail than usual. My hope is the details will provide good examples and insights that you can learn from and apply to your FLR. I believe that is what is lacking with a lot of the information on the web around FLRs. There is good general discussion and theory, but very little specifics that are practical and can guide people in their FLR. It has taken me awhile to write these updates. The weekend that I have been writing about was several weeks ago so the changes have been in place for a few weeks. In my next blog I will write about how things are going with the changes. Please feel free to comment. I would love to hear if you think this is helpful, if you have used any of this information, or if you have questions.
-MzKaylee
By now it is a little after dinner and from all the teasing and dominating, Thomas is a horny mess. I can tell he has dropped into subspace and can not think straight. It is exactly the way I want him. He will do whatever I want. To be honest, I am in a subspace of my own. I guess for the dominant you can call it super space :) The way he reacts to whatever I tell him and how aroused he is from my control and aroused at the slightest touch or whisper from me is intoxicating. I may be enjoying it all more than him.
During the discipline session I brought up the topic of spending money. He is on a weekly allowance but he is also allowed to use his credit card to purchase regular things such as dog food, gas, and items for the house. However, if he needs or wants to purchase something that is not a regular expense item or is a big ticket item, he needs to ask for my permission first. I established this rule some time ago but never really enforced it and so he has not been following it. I gave him a few hard spanks for not following the rule and told him that I would start strictly enforcing it again. To further reinforce my point, I had him fetch the last three months of bank statements and credit card statements. Then I had him lay across my lap while reviewed them. For every item that looked questionable, I gave him a light slap on the butt with my riding crop and then asked him about the charge. I lightly rubbed his ass while he explained. If his explanation was acceptable I moved on. If I was not satisfied with his explanation, I reprimanded him and gave him a few hard slaps with the riding crop. I also circled the dollar amount on the statement.
When we were done, his ass was quite red. The were a few withdrawals from our bank account that were above and beyond his allowance and I came across several charges in which he should have asked for my permission or where he used the credit card when he should have used his allowance money. The good news was that there was nothing lavish or concerning to me that he was spending recklessly. I reduced his allowance by $20 a week for 8 weeks. I explained that this would pay back some of the money that he spent without permission. He was not happy about receiving a smaller allowance but he accepted it. I also told him that going forward, each month when the statements came in, he was to leave them on my bedroom dresser for me to review. If he failed to do this timely he would owe money to the discipline jar.
There was still one more change in rules that I had to go over with Thomas. I wanted him to take on the food shopping responsibilities. I had planned on explaining the change to Thomas Saturday night, and then take him to the grocery store on Sunday to train him. However, by now I felt that he had enough domination for one day and I was getting tired myself. I would discuss it with him in the morning. For the rest of the night, he pampered me and attended to my needs.
In the morning, it was no surprise for me to discover Thomas waking up with an erection. He told me he was so horny all night that he did not sleep that well. I rubbed his cock and told him I was glad to hear that. I liked that he was up all night excited about the changes that were happening. It was only a few minutes before he was begging me if he could cum. For whatever reason, it seems that in the mornings when he awakes, I can get him to the edge really fast.
I of course did not allow an orgasm, but I took the time to explain that I wanted him to start taking over the responsibility of food shopping so that I can free up some of my time. I would make a list each week and give it to him to shop with. He was expected to buy the items and put them away. Eventually I want him to learn to make the list himself and come to me for additions, but I did not tell him this yet (Baby steps first). I figure that after a few months I can work on that piece.
I let him know that he would need to be trained on the food shopping so that he learned the proper brands and item sizes to get. I would also train him on where to put things away when he got home. I like using the word "train," when I talk to him as it implies my authority over him. It is one of those subtle things that reinforces his submission and obedience to me. Thomas seemed excited to be trained to do the shopping and he told me it would make him happy to make my life easier by taking over the food shopping. Those words were music to my ears.
Before we headed out for food shopping, I had Thomas serve me breakfast in bed
wearing nothing but a pair of his new panties. I received the full Goddess treatment. He served me breakfast and rubbed my feet while I ate. Then he dressed me for the day. I wanted Thomas's first training shopping trip to be memorable and exciting so I decided to have a little fun with him. I ordered him to fetch his stockings and garter belts. He was surprised by this, but I could also see he was excited (tail wagging again). Panties are something he wears frequently for me, but stocking are a rarity. I have no intentions of feminizing him but on a rare occasion, just for fun, I will tiptoe into feminization with Thomas. He gets excited by it, even though he has a hard time admitting it. That's one of the reasons why I enjoy dabbling in it every now and then. I like that I can push his buttons in a way that he does not understand or in a way that he is innocently embarrassed by it. This is the control that he craves.
I helped him put on the garter belt and stockings and admired him. I told him, "These stockings will be so soft and silky rubbing over your legs while you walk through the store." He was in a bit of a haze now and mumbled, "yes Goddess." I then teased at how he will fit right in with all the other housewives in the store since he was wearing stockings and panties. I knew this comment would bounce around in his head while we shopped. These are the fun mind game that I like to play.
At the store, I explained the order in which I shopped. Yes, there is a strategy to my shopping :). Then I handed him the list and let him go at it. He had a lot of questions and I had to help him find things, but all in all it was a good trip. I waited in the car while he loaded the groceries. When he got in the car, I reached over and rubbed his crotch until he had an erection and then I kissed him and told him how much fun I had shopping with him and how excited I was that he was going to do all the shopping for me and free up my time. This was a very purposeful move that I did. I wanted to associate arousal, excitement, and my satisfaction with him doing the shopping.
At home, after he unloaded the car I had him strip down to his panties and stockings and put away the groceries. I supervised and helped him put everything in the right places. It was amazing at how little he knew. He never pays attention to these things! When everything was put away I led him to the couch and had him sit next to me. I teased him again, bringing him to the edge of orgasm several times. Then I again told him how much fun I had shopping with him and how excited I was for him to take over the grocery shopping responsibility. I teased that he would soon by my housewife. I also recapped all the new rules and told him how I was looking forward to getting his raise and bonus deposited into my account. He was so desperate to cum because I was teasing him while we talked. However, I did not allow it. I wanted him to remain horny all week so that he remains in a bit of a fantasy land and is excited about all the changes He is more compliant and obedient this way. After a little more torture, I told him to go get changed back to his normal clothes as we needed to pick-up the kids. He reluctantly obeyed. The fun, for now, was over.
As I noted in my previous blog, I wrote in a little more detail than usual. My hope is the details will provide good examples and insights that you can learn from and apply to your FLR. I believe that is what is lacking with a lot of the information on the web around FLRs. There is good general discussion and theory, but very little specifics that are practical and can guide people in their FLR. It has taken me awhile to write these updates. The weekend that I have been writing about was several weeks ago so the changes have been in place for a few weeks. In my next blog I will write about how things are going with the changes. Please feel free to comment. I would love to hear if you think this is helpful, if you have used any of this information, or if you have questions.
-MzKaylee
Thursday, December 31, 2015
A Time for Change - The Discipline Jar
Before I continue with this topic, I would like to encourage everyone to read the comment from Sandra in my Bringing in The New Year's post. Her comment is well thought out, informative and has many great tidbits of advice and techniques. Please read it.
Now, back to my changes. After I was done with the financial talk and Queening Thomas, we took a little break. It was getting close to dinner. I had planned on going out somewhere for dinner but by now I was relaxed and having fun with Thomas in the house so I was in no mood to go out. Instead we ordered takeout from a nearby restaurant. I had Thomas order the food and then go pick it up. To make the trip fun he had to wear his panties and a butt plug when he went to get the food. While he was gone, I slipped on a comfortable silk night gown. There was no need for the latex anymore. It already had the effect on him that I wanted. When he returned with the food he stripped back down to his panties and served me the food. He was not allowed to remove the plug yet, so I enjoyed watching him waddle around serving me completely aroused.
After dinner I enjoyed another glass of wine while Thomas cleaned up dinner and did the dishes. Then I ordered him to the bedroom to get ready for a discipline session. He was allowed to remove the plug, wash it and put it away. For the discipline session, he knows to retrieve my riding crop and then move our discipline chair out from the corner of the room and kneel by it and wait for me. He was in position when I entered the room. For this session, I had him kneel on the seat of the chair and hug the back of the chair. This session was a little different than our usual session. We spent most of the time just talking while I walked around him, using the riding crop to tease him with soft playful slaps or light traces across his body; I added hard slaps to emphasize key points or express dissatisfaction. We talked about how we were both busy and some aspects of our FLR were slipping a bit, such as my pampering, discipline sessions, and spending more time together. We made plans to get back into those routines again. I explained to him that with how busy we were at the moment, there probably would not be time for the regular discipline sessions so I was going to try something new. This is where the discipline jar came in. I showed him an oversized plastic jar. If you ever bought pretzels in bulk that come in a big plastic jar, this is the type of jar I used. I explained the concept to him. Below is how it works.
Discipline Jar
The idea is that for every item that he would normally be disciplined for, he would instead be assessed a $1 penalty at the time of occurrence and would have to immediately put the dollar in the jar. So for example, if he did not do a good job cleaning the kitchen, I would say to him, 'You did not wipe down the table. Put a dollar in the jar." Once a certain amount of money is accumulated, he would be punished. I set the punishment threshold at $10. We'll see how it goes. I may need to adjust once I get a better feel for how fast or slow the dollars accumulate. Here are the basic rules I put into place:
In my next post, I will explain the change with grocery shopping and also some additional items I talked to Thomas about regarding his allowance.
Now, back to my changes. After I was done with the financial talk and Queening Thomas, we took a little break. It was getting close to dinner. I had planned on going out somewhere for dinner but by now I was relaxed and having fun with Thomas in the house so I was in no mood to go out. Instead we ordered takeout from a nearby restaurant. I had Thomas order the food and then go pick it up. To make the trip fun he had to wear his panties and a butt plug when he went to get the food. While he was gone, I slipped on a comfortable silk night gown. There was no need for the latex anymore. It already had the effect on him that I wanted. When he returned with the food he stripped back down to his panties and served me the food. He was not allowed to remove the plug yet, so I enjoyed watching him waddle around serving me completely aroused.
After dinner I enjoyed another glass of wine while Thomas cleaned up dinner and did the dishes. Then I ordered him to the bedroom to get ready for a discipline session. He was allowed to remove the plug, wash it and put it away. For the discipline session, he knows to retrieve my riding crop and then move our discipline chair out from the corner of the room and kneel by it and wait for me. He was in position when I entered the room. For this session, I had him kneel on the seat of the chair and hug the back of the chair. This session was a little different than our usual session. We spent most of the time just talking while I walked around him, using the riding crop to tease him with soft playful slaps or light traces across his body; I added hard slaps to emphasize key points or express dissatisfaction. We talked about how we were both busy and some aspects of our FLR were slipping a bit, such as my pampering, discipline sessions, and spending more time together. We made plans to get back into those routines again. I explained to him that with how busy we were at the moment, there probably would not be time for the regular discipline sessions so I was going to try something new. This is where the discipline jar came in. I showed him an oversized plastic jar. If you ever bought pretzels in bulk that come in a big plastic jar, this is the type of jar I used. I explained the concept to him. Below is how it works.
Discipline Jar
The idea is that for every item that he would normally be disciplined for, he would instead be assessed a $1 penalty at the time of occurrence and would have to immediately put the dollar in the jar. So for example, if he did not do a good job cleaning the kitchen, I would say to him, 'You did not wipe down the table. Put a dollar in the jar." Once a certain amount of money is accumulated, he would be punished. I set the punishment threshold at $10. We'll see how it goes. I may need to adjust once I get a better feel for how fast or slow the dollars accumulate. Here are the basic rules I put into place:
- For each infraction, a $1 penalty is assessed. However, I may increase the penalty for a particular infraction if I feel it is warranted.
- The penalty must be paid from his allowance immediately into the jar. If he has no allowance money left, he will put an IOU in the jar at the double the amount and pay it back immediately when he receives his weekly allowance.
- All money in the jar becomes my money to spend as I please
- For every $10 accumulated, he will receive a discipline spanking (or be punished if warranted).
In my next post, I will explain the change with grocery shopping and also some additional items I talked to Thomas about regarding his allowance.
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
A Time For Change
In my last blog, I wrote about how New Year's is a good time to reflect upon your FLR and think about making changes for the new year. I've got a head start on the New Year. Call me inpatient but I could not wait for the New Year. Both Thomas and I have been busy with work and other things lately, which has resulted in us not spending as much time together and not as focused on the Female Led aspects of the relationship. My regular discipline sessions have been not so regular lately and I've been so tired at night that I'm usually in bed before Thomas gets to do his usual pampering of me. While both of us miss these things, the good news is that the core of our FLR is intact and we both are anxious to spend more time together. I am still the leader, and he obeys me. He is keeping up with his routines and chores; although without my regular disciplines sessions a few things are slipping or not being done to my level of satisfaction. So as the leader, I have taken a step back and decided to make a few changes to get us back on track.
I decided to make three changes. First, I've inserted some control into the household finances. Finances are one area that many femdom/FLR websites advise that the female take control over from men. I have not done that in my marriage because Thomas is very good with finances and I trust him with our money. I also love not having to think about bills. He takes care of all the bills for me which is almost as good as being pampered. The reason I want to get involved in the finances now is more for fun. Since this is an areas that he has control over (and he is a bit tight with the money) it will be fun taking some of that power from him. I knew it would drive him deeper into submission to me and increase my control over him. While I am doing this more for fun, I also know that this is one of those changes that will take our FLR relationship to a higher level.
The second change I made was to have him take over responsibility of food shopping. I do all the cooking (and that will not change because I enjoy cooking) which is why I do the food shopping. Frankly, I never trusted him to do the shopping. I know he would come home with the wrong things. However, the shopping has become more of a nuisance for me and so I've decided to make him do it to free up some of my time. I decided to spend time training him on the food shopping.
The last change was around discipline. With out busy schedules my every other week discipline sessions have not bee happening all of the tine. Thomas is a very good slave husband for me but I find that without regular reminders and discipline he becomes forgetful and lazy. I decided to eliminate the regular discipline sessions and institute a new technique which I call the discipline jar. I will go into that more in my next post.
I decided to announce these changes to Thomas in classic domination style. It was going to be a fun day for me and a mind blowing day for him. I arranged for the kids to stay over night at my sisters. I made my husband drive the kids to my sister's while I stayed home and prepared for the fun. He of course had no idea what was in store for him. All he knew was that we were having a date night together.
While he was gone I dressed for the part. I put my hair into a bun, put on make-up , and perfume.Then I put on a garter belt and stockings and slipped on a black latex mini dress. I do not wear this dress often, but when I do it drives him crazy. For the occasion, I treated myself to a new pair of stiletto heels. I also bought him a few new pairs of panties for the occasion. I wrapped each pair in tissue paper and placed them into a pretty pink gift bag. Then I poured myself a glass of wine and waited for him. Wine helps relax me and put me in the mood. My inhibitions run free after about two glasses.
When he walked in the door and saw me sitting in the living room in my latex dress, his jaw dropped and then he smiled with delight. This was the reaction I expected. He started to move toward me but I held my hand up and ordered him to stop and get naked. His cock was hard even before all his clothes were off. I expected this as well.
I made Thomas crawl to me and kiss my feet. I could tell his mind already shifted into submissive mode. The dress always has that effect on him. He knelt before me while I drank my wine and teased his cock with my feet. I wore no underwear and he was getting a clear view up my dress. This was all part of the tease. When I finished my glass of wine, I had him refill it and then kneel before me again. I teased him a little more and then said the magic words, 'I think it's about time some things changed around here."
I've used those words before and he knows it means I am going to lay down new rules and he loves that. It is like a fantasy come true for a submissive man. I could almost feel him sink even deeper into submission, right before me. If he were a dog, his tail would have been wagging with excitement. I told him I bought a few gifts to celebrate the change. I handed him the pink gift bag. The pink color of the bag was a dead giveaway of what was inside, but that's all part of the fun for me. As he unwrapped each pair of panties, I made him model them for me. I commented on how pretty and sexy they were while I ran my hands over them and teased him. By the last pair, he was so aroused he begged for an orgasm. The answer was an obvious no. I was pretty sure his mind was mush by now and he was in subspace. I was also quite horny by then. The last pair I told him to keep on. They were white satin with pink bows. So cute!
I pulled the panties down to his thighs and then grabbed his cock and led him to the bedroom. In the bedroom I had him pull out all of his panties from his lingerie drawer and line them up neatly on the bed. I had forgotten how many pairs he had. I had him stand by the side of the bed and stare at his panty collection. I hugged him from behind and teased his cock while I commented on how many panties he had. I told him how girly he was and that his collection was even more sexy and pretty than my panties (and that was true). I knew all this talk was arousing him and making him feel even more submissive. My goal for the day was to totally turn his mind into mush. Since I got him three new panties, I picked out three old ones for him to throw away. Then he neatly folded the rest and put them away.
By now, I was getting tired of wearing the latex dress. I do not find it very comfortable. I slipped out of it and layed next to him on the bed. He spent some time pleasuring me and I teased him more. Then I had him lay down and I teased him to the edge of orgasm several times. If his mind was not mush before, I knew it was now. It was the perfect time to bring up the financial. stuff. While I lightly rubbed his cock, I asked if he was getting a raise soon. He told me next month (I of course new that already). Then I reminded him that the money he earned belonged to me and that it was not his money to spend; he agreed. I asked how much we was expecting to get. When he told me I squeezed his cock warmly and told him how nice it was that he was earning more money for me. Then I told him that when he got his raise, he was to show me the letter announcing his raise. He would then immediately fill out a direct deposit form at work to have the amount of his raise deposited into my bank account each pay period. I have a separate account which he does not have access to. I rarely use it, but that is going to change :)
I told him he would continue to be responsible for managing the rest of the money and paying bills but that from now on his raises will go to me. I will use that money as I please. I teased him more while I let that sink in with him. I could tell he was getting a thrill out of me exerting my control over him. It did not take long before he was begging for an orgasm. The answer of course was no.
After I had brought him to the edge and then teased him even more, I told him the same goes for his bonus. We are fortunate that he gets a decent bonus each year. I told him I wanted to see his bonus statement when he got it and he would have to immediately transfer 100% of the bonus into my account. He agreed, but I could sense some reservations in his tone. I expected and anticipated this. I asked if he had a problem or concern with this. He told me he didn't but that he typically uses some of the bonus to pay down a portion of our loans. I told him, that was not for him to decide anymore. I would do what I want with the money. I knew that was a powerful statement that would push him even deeper into subspace. I let it sink in with him while I teased him more and made sure he verbally agreed with it. Then I acknowledged to him that he is very wise and prudent with our money and valued that. I then told him that I would expect him to provide me with suggestions on how to use the bonus money. He was not allowed to recommend and expenditures for himself. In the past he would often buy something for himself as reward. I brought up this topic and let him know that his reward was being married to me and serving me. I would determine if he got any other rewards. My strictness and firmness on this was part fantasy play. I know my husband and I know these statements were awakening deep submissive feelings within him. Feelings that he craves to experience.
Well, suffice to say, after all the teasing and domination I was throwing at Thomas, he was a horney mess and was in subspace. I had him hanging on the edge of orgasm and his mind was complete mush. I hadn't even gotten to the other changes :). Having him at my mercy and wrapped around my finger made me horney as well so I moved on top of him and queened him until I had an orgasm.
I will write about the rest of the changes in my next post. After I wrote this post, I thought that perhaps I was too detailed and gave more information that needed and I thought about trimming it down. However, after thinking about it more, I think that the detail is probably helpful for people to read as it can help give ideas or examples that can be used in your relationships. I hope you agree. My hope is that by sharing my experiences, it will help others build upon their FLRs and give real world examples that can be used or adapted to their own relationships.
-MzKaylee
I decided to make three changes. First, I've inserted some control into the household finances. Finances are one area that many femdom/FLR websites advise that the female take control over from men. I have not done that in my marriage because Thomas is very good with finances and I trust him with our money. I also love not having to think about bills. He takes care of all the bills for me which is almost as good as being pampered. The reason I want to get involved in the finances now is more for fun. Since this is an areas that he has control over (and he is a bit tight with the money) it will be fun taking some of that power from him. I knew it would drive him deeper into submission to me and increase my control over him. While I am doing this more for fun, I also know that this is one of those changes that will take our FLR relationship to a higher level.
The second change I made was to have him take over responsibility of food shopping. I do all the cooking (and that will not change because I enjoy cooking) which is why I do the food shopping. Frankly, I never trusted him to do the shopping. I know he would come home with the wrong things. However, the shopping has become more of a nuisance for me and so I've decided to make him do it to free up some of my time. I decided to spend time training him on the food shopping.
The last change was around discipline. With out busy schedules my every other week discipline sessions have not bee happening all of the tine. Thomas is a very good slave husband for me but I find that without regular reminders and discipline he becomes forgetful and lazy. I decided to eliminate the regular discipline sessions and institute a new technique which I call the discipline jar. I will go into that more in my next post.
I decided to announce these changes to Thomas in classic domination style. It was going to be a fun day for me and a mind blowing day for him. I arranged for the kids to stay over night at my sisters. I made my husband drive the kids to my sister's while I stayed home and prepared for the fun. He of course had no idea what was in store for him. All he knew was that we were having a date night together.
While he was gone I dressed for the part. I put my hair into a bun, put on make-up , and perfume.Then I put on a garter belt and stockings and slipped on a black latex mini dress. I do not wear this dress often, but when I do it drives him crazy. For the occasion, I treated myself to a new pair of stiletto heels. I also bought him a few new pairs of panties for the occasion. I wrapped each pair in tissue paper and placed them into a pretty pink gift bag. Then I poured myself a glass of wine and waited for him. Wine helps relax me and put me in the mood. My inhibitions run free after about two glasses.
When he walked in the door and saw me sitting in the living room in my latex dress, his jaw dropped and then he smiled with delight. This was the reaction I expected. He started to move toward me but I held my hand up and ordered him to stop and get naked. His cock was hard even before all his clothes were off. I expected this as well.
I made Thomas crawl to me and kiss my feet. I could tell his mind already shifted into submissive mode. The dress always has that effect on him. He knelt before me while I drank my wine and teased his cock with my feet. I wore no underwear and he was getting a clear view up my dress. This was all part of the tease. When I finished my glass of wine, I had him refill it and then kneel before me again. I teased him a little more and then said the magic words, 'I think it's about time some things changed around here."
I've used those words before and he knows it means I am going to lay down new rules and he loves that. It is like a fantasy come true for a submissive man. I could almost feel him sink even deeper into submission, right before me. If he were a dog, his tail would have been wagging with excitement. I told him I bought a few gifts to celebrate the change. I handed him the pink gift bag. The pink color of the bag was a dead giveaway of what was inside, but that's all part of the fun for me. As he unwrapped each pair of panties, I made him model them for me. I commented on how pretty and sexy they were while I ran my hands over them and teased him. By the last pair, he was so aroused he begged for an orgasm. The answer was an obvious no. I was pretty sure his mind was mush by now and he was in subspace. I was also quite horny by then. The last pair I told him to keep on. They were white satin with pink bows. So cute!
I pulled the panties down to his thighs and then grabbed his cock and led him to the bedroom. In the bedroom I had him pull out all of his panties from his lingerie drawer and line them up neatly on the bed. I had forgotten how many pairs he had. I had him stand by the side of the bed and stare at his panty collection. I hugged him from behind and teased his cock while I commented on how many panties he had. I told him how girly he was and that his collection was even more sexy and pretty than my panties (and that was true). I knew all this talk was arousing him and making him feel even more submissive. My goal for the day was to totally turn his mind into mush. Since I got him three new panties, I picked out three old ones for him to throw away. Then he neatly folded the rest and put them away.
By now, I was getting tired of wearing the latex dress. I do not find it very comfortable. I slipped out of it and layed next to him on the bed. He spent some time pleasuring me and I teased him more. Then I had him lay down and I teased him to the edge of orgasm several times. If his mind was not mush before, I knew it was now. It was the perfect time to bring up the financial. stuff. While I lightly rubbed his cock, I asked if he was getting a raise soon. He told me next month (I of course new that already). Then I reminded him that the money he earned belonged to me and that it was not his money to spend; he agreed. I asked how much we was expecting to get. When he told me I squeezed his cock warmly and told him how nice it was that he was earning more money for me. Then I told him that when he got his raise, he was to show me the letter announcing his raise. He would then immediately fill out a direct deposit form at work to have the amount of his raise deposited into my bank account each pay period. I have a separate account which he does not have access to. I rarely use it, but that is going to change :)
I told him he would continue to be responsible for managing the rest of the money and paying bills but that from now on his raises will go to me. I will use that money as I please. I teased him more while I let that sink in with him. I could tell he was getting a thrill out of me exerting my control over him. It did not take long before he was begging for an orgasm. The answer of course was no.
After I had brought him to the edge and then teased him even more, I told him the same goes for his bonus. We are fortunate that he gets a decent bonus each year. I told him I wanted to see his bonus statement when he got it and he would have to immediately transfer 100% of the bonus into my account. He agreed, but I could sense some reservations in his tone. I expected and anticipated this. I asked if he had a problem or concern with this. He told me he didn't but that he typically uses some of the bonus to pay down a portion of our loans. I told him, that was not for him to decide anymore. I would do what I want with the money. I knew that was a powerful statement that would push him even deeper into subspace. I let it sink in with him while I teased him more and made sure he verbally agreed with it. Then I acknowledged to him that he is very wise and prudent with our money and valued that. I then told him that I would expect him to provide me with suggestions on how to use the bonus money. He was not allowed to recommend and expenditures for himself. In the past he would often buy something for himself as reward. I brought up this topic and let him know that his reward was being married to me and serving me. I would determine if he got any other rewards. My strictness and firmness on this was part fantasy play. I know my husband and I know these statements were awakening deep submissive feelings within him. Feelings that he craves to experience.
Well, suffice to say, after all the teasing and domination I was throwing at Thomas, he was a horney mess and was in subspace. I had him hanging on the edge of orgasm and his mind was complete mush. I hadn't even gotten to the other changes :). Having him at my mercy and wrapped around my finger made me horney as well so I moved on top of him and queened him until I had an orgasm.
I will write about the rest of the changes in my next post. After I wrote this post, I thought that perhaps I was too detailed and gave more information that needed and I thought about trimming it down. However, after thinking about it more, I think that the detail is probably helpful for people to read as it can help give ideas or examples that can be used in your relationships. I hope you agree. My hope is that by sharing my experiences, it will help others build upon their FLRs and give real world examples that can be used or adapted to their own relationships.
-MzKaylee
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Bringing in a New Year
As the new year approaches, it is a time where many people reflect on the past year and then set goals or resolutions for the new year. I would encourage you to do this with your Female Led Marriage/Relationship. The New Year, provides a great excuse and fun reason for making changes and setting new goals with your partner. Why not take time to reflect on how you are doing as the leader and how your partner is doing as the follower. Perhaps you are not in a FLR but have been contemplating it. The New Year is a good time to give it a try.
As the leader take time to reflect on how well you are leading. Do you need to be more confident and assertive? Do you need to expect more out of your partner and be more strict? Are you meeting his needs and keeping him motivated and happy? Have some of your routines and rituals been sidetracked; have they become meaningless and need to be changed up? Perhaps you have gotten caught up in work and the day-to-day things and so your FLR has taken a back seat. That is easy to happen but now is the time to get it back on track. It is important to get it back on track.
Think about what things you can do to take your FLR to the next level. Do not settle for status quo. If he cleans the kitchen every day, what can he do to clean it even better? What will bring you closer together, make you happier, and make your marriage more fun? Do you need more pampering? Do you need to spend more time alone with your husband having fun (scheduled date nights are great). I would suggest picking something new to try. For example, add routine spankings or discipline sessions or require your husband to kneel before you regularly. Make him sleep naked. These are just ideas to provoke you thoughts. This is a good time to set new expectations and rules with your husband.
Reflect about all these things and then set goals and plan to follow in the new year. Write it all down. If you are worried about someone finding what you write, no worries. Write it all down and then tear it up after your are done with it. If you write down your goals and plan it mentally prepares your mind and helps organize and cement your thoughts you will have a better chance of following through with them.
Feel free to seek input from your husband. Ask him to write down things he really likes about your current arrangement, his most memorable moment of the past year, and ask him to write down a 3 things he would love to try in the new year. Use this information to craft your goals for the coming year. Remember, you are only considering his input. You do not need to act on everything he writes. If he writes down a crazy idea, you can easily give him a direct 'no' to the idea or your could play into a bit and say 'maybe, I'll think about it."
Announcing the new goals and expectations can be fun too. Make him kneel before you while you announce the changes or lie beside him and tease him to the brink of orgasm while you whisper to him the new order in the household. Perhaps a spanking while you dictate the changes for the new year will help reinforce the important points. Something I have don in the past with Thomas is leave him a note with all the rules and then we talk about them later. He is always hard and aroused when he reads the note. I find it quite humorous. Again, these are just ideas to get the wheels turning in your head.
If you are the submissive in the relationship, spend time reflecting on your role. How can you be more supportive and devoted to your wife in the coming year? What can you do to make her life easier and make her happier? What things can you do to make her feel like a Goddess? Write all these thoughts and ideas down and put a plan in place to do them in 2016.
Are you happy and satisfied with how things are going? If you are not happy, then you owe it to your wife to talk to her about it. The conversation may be difficult, but if you are open and honest, it will be healthy for your relationship. If you are happy, write her a note thanking her for being a great leader, Goddess. Mistress, or whatever term of endearment you use. Do not ask anything of her. Simply thank her and tell her how excited you are about continue to serve and pamper her in the new year.
Whatever you do, I wish you all and wonderful and Happy New Year!
-Mz Kaylee
As the leader take time to reflect on how well you are leading. Do you need to be more confident and assertive? Do you need to expect more out of your partner and be more strict? Are you meeting his needs and keeping him motivated and happy? Have some of your routines and rituals been sidetracked; have they become meaningless and need to be changed up? Perhaps you have gotten caught up in work and the day-to-day things and so your FLR has taken a back seat. That is easy to happen but now is the time to get it back on track. It is important to get it back on track.
Think about what things you can do to take your FLR to the next level. Do not settle for status quo. If he cleans the kitchen every day, what can he do to clean it even better? What will bring you closer together, make you happier, and make your marriage more fun? Do you need more pampering? Do you need to spend more time alone with your husband having fun (scheduled date nights are great). I would suggest picking something new to try. For example, add routine spankings or discipline sessions or require your husband to kneel before you regularly. Make him sleep naked. These are just ideas to provoke you thoughts. This is a good time to set new expectations and rules with your husband.
Reflect about all these things and then set goals and plan to follow in the new year. Write it all down. If you are worried about someone finding what you write, no worries. Write it all down and then tear it up after your are done with it. If you write down your goals and plan it mentally prepares your mind and helps organize and cement your thoughts you will have a better chance of following through with them.
Feel free to seek input from your husband. Ask him to write down things he really likes about your current arrangement, his most memorable moment of the past year, and ask him to write down a 3 things he would love to try in the new year. Use this information to craft your goals for the coming year. Remember, you are only considering his input. You do not need to act on everything he writes. If he writes down a crazy idea, you can easily give him a direct 'no' to the idea or your could play into a bit and say 'maybe, I'll think about it."
Announcing the new goals and expectations can be fun too. Make him kneel before you while you announce the changes or lie beside him and tease him to the brink of orgasm while you whisper to him the new order in the household. Perhaps a spanking while you dictate the changes for the new year will help reinforce the important points. Something I have don in the past with Thomas is leave him a note with all the rules and then we talk about them later. He is always hard and aroused when he reads the note. I find it quite humorous. Again, these are just ideas to get the wheels turning in your head.
If you are the submissive in the relationship, spend time reflecting on your role. How can you be more supportive and devoted to your wife in the coming year? What can you do to make her life easier and make her happier? What things can you do to make her feel like a Goddess? Write all these thoughts and ideas down and put a plan in place to do them in 2016.
Are you happy and satisfied with how things are going? If you are not happy, then you owe it to your wife to talk to her about it. The conversation may be difficult, but if you are open and honest, it will be healthy for your relationship. If you are happy, write her a note thanking her for being a great leader, Goddess. Mistress, or whatever term of endearment you use. Do not ask anything of her. Simply thank her and tell her how excited you are about continue to serve and pamper her in the new year.
Whatever you do, I wish you all and wonderful and Happy New Year!
-Mz Kaylee
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
An Exception to the Rule
Last weekend Thomas and I had a fabulous spontaneous moment. It was a rare occurrence that both our kids were unexpectedly out of the house and Thomas was not in the middle of doing something and I was not busy with something. We both had things to do that day but at the moment we were both free. He joked at how we should take advantage of the moment. I'm pretty sure he did not expect me to follow him to the bedroom. In the bedroom, I sprawled out on the bed. Suddenly I wanted him bad. I know he wanted me because he always does. That is part of the fun of keeping him horney all of the time.
He joined me on the bed and it did not take long for him to get me naked. His clothes came of quickly after mine. I enjoyed having him ravish my body and soon he was on top of me. It is rare that he is in this position. I am always on top when we have sex. I like it that way and with that position there is the obvious power exchange of having him beneath me. Usually by now I would order him off of me or I would forcefully roll him over onto his back. However, this time I did nothing. The past few months have been so busy with work and other things that Thomas and I have not had a lot of time for fun. I was enjoying the moment and did not want to take charge. I enjoyed having my husband make love to me. He made me feel incredible. There was no orgasm for him - that would have been too nice :).
So I made an exception to the rule; I allowed him to be on top during sex. I can do that because I am the one in charge. I make the rules and I can break the rules. It was a very rare moment for him and for me and it was fantastic. Sometimes exceptions to the rules are good.
-MzKaylee
He joined me on the bed and it did not take long for him to get me naked. His clothes came of quickly after mine. I enjoyed having him ravish my body and soon he was on top of me. It is rare that he is in this position. I am always on top when we have sex. I like it that way and with that position there is the obvious power exchange of having him beneath me. Usually by now I would order him off of me or I would forcefully roll him over onto his back. However, this time I did nothing. The past few months have been so busy with work and other things that Thomas and I have not had a lot of time for fun. I was enjoying the moment and did not want to take charge. I enjoyed having my husband make love to me. He made me feel incredible. There was no orgasm for him - that would have been too nice :).
So I made an exception to the rule; I allowed him to be on top during sex. I can do that because I am the one in charge. I make the rules and I can break the rules. It was a very rare moment for him and for me and it was fantastic. Sometimes exceptions to the rules are good.
-MzKaylee
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