I have re-published this post from last year, with a few updates. Enjoy!
This is the time of year that many people look forward to the coming year and think about what will they do better and how will they improve as a person. The typical resolutions you hear year-after-year include:
- Exercise more
- Eat healthier
- Be a better person
- Save more money
- Spend more time with family
- Get a new job
- Quit smoking
Wouldn't it be great if people thought about resolutions for their marriage? It's not something I ever thought of until I transitioned to a WLM. One of the fascinating things for me about WLM, is that I am constantly assessing and re-assessing how things are working and looking for ways to make the WLM better (i.e. what can hubby do more of to make my life better :). If you don't do this, well I highly recommend that you do.
With a new year starting, there is no better time to take a step back and assess how the WLM is going, and then look forward and think about how you want your WLM to be in the next year. If your WLM went off the tracks and fell to the wayside, the New Year is a great excuse to bring it back to the forefront and try it again or revive it. Maybe you are not in a WLM, but you have been thinking about giving it a try. Now is the time to dive in! And if your WLM is humming along good, there's always room to try new things to keep the marriage exciting and fun. I enjoy trying new things throughout the year or changing up some of the rules and routines. It is fun and it helps keep Thomas motivated to serve me.
For the dominant wife, think about:
- What can I do better to motivate him to obey me and be my ideal submissive husband?
- What can I have him do to make my life better?
- Added chores, activities, and/or responsibilities
- Better attitude; more listening.
- Being more proactive in serving you
- More pampering
- How can I be more dominant and strict with my husband?
- How can I add more structure to the WLM in a way that caters to his submissive desires while making my life easier?
- What new rituals or routines can I add to increase his devotion to me and improve his performance?
- Are there rules and routines that should be eliminated because they are just not adding value or to make room for new rules and routines?
When thinking about these questions and what you want, also think about specific actions you can do to make your resolutions and goals happen. Then set specific goals of how you will improve your WLM and dominance over your husband, and the steps you will take to achieve these goals. It's important to be specific and to identify the steps to achieve your goals. This will increase the probability that you will follow-through on your goals. For example, suppose your overall goal is to be more strict with your husband. If you set that goal and did not think about anything else, you are not likely to achieve the goal because it's very general and you've not identified the action items you need to do to be more strict. A better way to write the goal is:
I will be more strict with my husband by doing the following:
- Telling him what to do and not asking
- Making a weekly list of tasks for him to complete
- Providing him feedback immediately when I am not satisfied with his performance
- Disciplining or punishing him when he slacks off or disobeys.
- Holding him to high expectations.
The above goal is specific and contains action items and therefore, sets a clear path for you to achieve the goal, as well as measure how well you are progressing to achieving it. It is also important to write your goals down. Those who write their goals down are more likely to achieve them. Writing out your goals also provides a mechanism for you to review your goals regularly so that you stay on target. On a monthly basis, read through your goals to refresh what your plan is and refocus as needed. Finally make sure your goals are achievable. Don't try to do too much at once, or you'll stress yourself out. Think about spreading things out over the year. I like to break the year up into quarters (every 3 months). If you want to keep it simple set goals for the first half of the year and goals for the second half of the year. Here's an example of quarterly goals: Q1 (Jan-Mar): Become more strict, Q2 (Apr - Jun): Train him to do the laundry, Q3 (Jul - Sep): By September, he will be able to go 1 month without orgasm, Q4 (Oct - Dec): He will bathe me at least once a week.
Don't get too worked up if you get off track or if something does not work out the way you planned. It's ok to be flexible and adjust goals if your situation changes. The key is to regularly review your goals and get back on track if you've gone off the rails a bit. Believe me, my WLM has gone off the rails several times in the past. The way I got back on track was to reset and re-establish rules and routines with Thomas. Usually I started with a punishment or tough discipline session with Thomas because that always gets him to refocus. Something I learned over the years is that the sooner you react to issues or challenges, the easier it is to recover and that it is never to late to get back on track. For example, In the goal above, I listed 5 action items. Suppose you started off the year and only did one action item. Don't let that discourage you. That is still progress. Doing one thing is better than doing none. Instead of giving up or beating yourself up over not doing the other four items, keep moving forward with the goal and try to do more.
It is rewarding when you set goals and achieve them, and for the WLM, it has a very positive impact on you and your marriage. Every year, I feel like my WLM progresses to a new and exciting level and that my husband and I grow closer together. When I look back over the years, I am amazed and how far I have come as a dominant wife and how much our marriage has changed for the better. It does not happen by itself. It takes commitment and planning, especially in the early years, but the payoff is well worth it.
Happy New Year!
-Mz Kaylee
