A Typical Weekend in My Wife Led Marriage

Weekends for us are less structured then week days but I still have lots of tasks and expectations for Thomas. He is required to do a full house cleaning, which includes the bathrooms, vacuuming, and changing the sheets on the bed. He also takes care of the yard and gardens as needed, does the weekly grocery shopping and puts gas in my car. When he is doing the house chores on the weekend he is required to wear sissy maid panties and a cock strap. If the kids are out of the house, then he does the indoor chores in nothing but the panties. I love seeing him scurry around in them. If the kids are home, then he wears them under his clothes.

On weekends, I make him drive me around for any errands that I want to do. I may also send him on his own (in his errand outfit) to do errands. Less structure is needed because we may have kids activities to go to, social events, family events, or I may have errands to do. In general, I expect him to get the chores done by the end of the weekend regardless of the events of the weekend. However, there are times where I need to make exceptions because we are tied up for most of the weekend with social or famiy events. When that happens, he needs to finish up on Monday and he is required to wear the maid parities all day Monday.

It is fantastic for me as I get to relax on the weekend and may hang out with a few girl friends while he is working. We're a days trip to the beach so in the summer I may head to the beach for the day or weekend while he works. He may, with my permission, hang out with "the guys" on the weekends but he still needs to get his chores done. However, most of the time we do social events together. Sundays are typically reserved for ourselves so he turns down requests from his friends to hang out on Sunday.   

Weekends are also when I do his weekly review, which incudes his maintenance corner time. His reviews are mostly positive, which is the way it should be. If your husband is not consistently doing well then that's a problem that needs to be solved. Weekends are also when I allow him to pleasure me. It's not to say that I never allow him to pleasure me during the week, but most of the time I am just too tired for it on a week night. When there is pleasure for me it usually includes teasing for him but sometimes I just want to be pleased! He gets such a thrill out of pleasuring me, that even if I don't touch him, he is fully aroused and loves it so do not have pity on him. It is a privilege for him to pleasure me.

I will indulge in kinky play every now and then on the weekends, but it is not too frequent. I just need to be in the right mood and often have to plan for it. Long weekends and vacations are always great for getting me in the kink mood. Although every once in awhile it just strikes me in the heat of the moment. Those are often the best times! Of course, kinky means different things for different people. A lot of what I do on a daily basis would be considered kinky to others but for us, it's not kink unless it's outside of the normal routine. There are many people who say kink is not needed in a WLM. The people who say that are usually the ones who are not getting it-lol! It's like saying you don't need an easy pass at the amusement park. Yeah- that's true, but when I do have easy pass, the experience is so much better!! So while it is true that you can have a good WLM without kink, I believe kink takes the WLM from good to awesome. It is fun and truly does motivate submissive guys and keep them happy!

Back to the topic of weekends.....My weekends are loosely structured but one thing I do my best to keep consistent is the weekly review and corner time. That's been a game changer in our relationship. It keeps us in tune with each other and helps recharge Thomas and keep him focused on me. I have learned that for the benefit of both him and I, it is better to do a short review than no review at all. If you miss one review, then it makes it easier to miss the next one, and next thing you no you are off track.

So there you have it - I've shared the typical week in my WLM. There certainly are many other rules and expectations that factor into it and there are always different activities and events that may require the structure to flex a bit, but hopefully you get the general idea of how it works. Some people run their WLMs in a more extreme way and others are less extreme. You have to do what works best for you!

What questions do you have?

-Mz Kaylee.

A Typical Day in my Wife Led Marriage

During the week, every morning when I wake up, I have a hot cup of coffee, breakfast, and neatly pressed clothes waiting for me.  After breakfast, Thomas cleans up after me and then goes upstairs to make the bed, while I am on my way to work. Soon after, he is off to work, wearing panties under his clothes. He is required to dress in panties every day. During the work day we typically do not text or talk with each other unless there is a need. 

When I return home from work, I prepare dinner. I enjoy cooking so it is not a chore to me. Thomas  gets to enjoy the luxury of having dinner ready for him when he comes home from work. After dinner, I get up from the table, leaving all my dishes and trash for Thomas to clean up. He used to to do this at his leisure, but earlier this year I made it a rule that he needs to clean the dining room and kitchen and load the dishwasher immediately after we eat and not at his convenience. Once dinner is done I relax and watch TV or read. I sit in "my chair" which Thomas is not permitted to sit in. In the past I would often do errands at night but now I assign most of those to Thomas. I tell him what errands he needs to do and he obeys without complaint. He has a special errand outfit that he must wear anytime he does errands for me. It consists of a pair of pink silky panties accented with black and pink lace ribbons, a studded strap that goes around the base of his cock, and a butt plug. Anytime I give him an errand to do, he changes into this outfit and then when he returns home, he removes the items and changes back to his normal panties. Errands for him are not an every day thing. Usually just once or twice a week but sometimes for fun, I will give him two separate errands in the same day so that he has to change in and out of the outfit more than once. I just love that he is walking around in public with a plug up his ass. It keeps him in a very submissive mind while he is away from me and certainly keeps him out of trouble. I've noticed that he usually horny after errands.

In the evenings, if time allows, Thomas may watch TV with me. We have a few Netflix and DVR shows that we like to watch together. While watching the shows Thomas will often be folding laundry or starting a new load of laundry. He is 100% responsible for keeping up with all the laundry in the house. Around 9pm I head upstairs to get ready for bed. I lay out my work clothes for the day and take a shower or bath. While I am in the bathroom, Thomas will iron my clothes. Then I am off to bed and Thomas goes downstairs to finish up his nightly duties, which include emptying the dishwasher, letting the dog out, tidying up the house so it looks nice for me in the morning, hand washing his panties, and locking up for the night. Then he quietly slips into bed naked. He is not permitted to wear anything while sleeping.

That is a typical day in my house. As you can see Thomas wakes up before me and goes to sleep after me every day. Most of his day is focused on serving me and it is wonderful. I also enjoy having a clean house every day and not having  to lift a finger to do it. Take note that with the exception of errands, he does all these things without being told. On a typical day, I am not standing over him barking orders and criticizing his every move, as many guys fantasize about. That is not a practical or sustainable way of running a WLM. I don't want to spend my day being a bitch. No, I'd rather have him do everything for me without being told and have him pamper and obey me without question and without drama. Guys, that is what women want. That is the life of a Goddess! Also, notice that my typical day does not involve sex. Sorry to bust the fantasy but WLM does not mean you are having lots of sex or that every night I am donning leather and whips and ordering him to worship me. If Thomas is lucky I will give him a "rub" or two during the day just enough to get his arousal going. These rubs are good motivators for him. It's like petting the dog.

Having said all that, there is a definite dominate and submissive dynamic present every day. I tell him things more than ask. He knows what is expected of him and knows that he will be punished or disciplined if he disobeys or does not meet my expectations. Punishments are rare. If I am having to punish him frequently, then there are issues in the relationship. A good obedient slave rarely needs to be punished. I am also very forthcoming with him when I feel he is not meeting expectations, making mistakes or is showing a bad attitude. I keep a very high standard for him. He is open to my criticism and obeys without complaint and accepts punishment or discipline when it is given. On occasion he may get defensive and I immediately point out his defensiveness and he quiets down.

It all sounds so simple, but it took many years for us to get to this place. It was a bit of a roller coaster ride, with lots of ups and downs, but well worth the ride. Nowadays there are lots of ups with very few downs.

Weekends are a different story and there are things that I do to keep the WLM running like a well oiled machine. It does not just happen on its own. I incorporate kink and sexual fun, as you can tell by my posts. It's just not an every day thing. I will write more in my next post.

-Mz Kaylee  

Guest Post: A Male Perspective on the Paradigm Shift (by Mike)

Mike was kind enough to share a post on his perspective on the paradigm shift. Much of what he writes is consistent with what is experienced in our WLM.  I can also relate to how his wife was initially concerned about denying orgasm but now it is barely a thought :). My husband mentioned the other week that he could not remember the last time he had an orgasm but he knew it was more than 3 months. I hadn't even realized it. lol! It just seems normal to tease him without allowing an orgasm and for him to not orgasm during sex. Enjoy Mike's post.  -Mz Kaylee

I thought a few things could be said about the paradigm shift from the hub's perspective regarding sex. Not to make it all about sex, but who doesn't like talking about sex :). Many have mentioned similar experiences as it's part of the journey and shift.  I think a few could relate

Pre WLM, in our traditional marriage, we would have sex when I wanted. I would receive oral a good amount of the time and I would initiate these times whenever I was in the mood and horny. I suppose you could say I was in control.  I would have an orgasm each and every time. I rarely would give my wife oral and I know at times we had sex when she felt obligated and not in the mood. The sex life was decently good. My mindset was typically such as, if enough time went by, I was horny again and needed sex. Or I would masturbate to get a release. Looking back, I actually feel a little bad my behavior appeared selfish and deplorable.

The paradigm shift occurred when we established our WLM, which like many, didn't evolve over night. My wife took control of our sex life decisions, my orgasms, and other aspects of the marriage. 

Today, I don't get a release unless given permission or have sex unless she requests it. I never receive oral and I give her oral very often. Everything has changed completely, for the better.

This paradigm shift, in hindsight, looks difficult to comprehend with the transition made.  I'm aroused by small things she does, horny everyday, and yet I don't get a relief.  I have no control and have become a servant to her needs and pleasure. 

What's fascinating now is that I don't constantly seek the next sexual encounter. I'm not counting days with anxiety until I have an orgasm.  I actually may pass if had the opportunity to have one.  Like mz Kaylee said, the mind fuck is our daily sex. Physical sex is just another route, privilege, or bonus that happens. 

What's odd is that my cock seems like it has its own mind than what I desire.  My cock gets hard, has erections, and enjoys stimulation.  A hard cock looks for relief and a release, to cum. That's usually the end game of why it's erect. However, I've been trained and disciplined to follow the opposite behavior. No relief will be given, ignore the erections, and I know no orgasm will be rewarded. It's like two minds are watching and battling each other. 

In our beginning of the WLM, my wife felt bad or concerned leaving me hard after sex or oral. I was supportive and encouraging. And now, it's not even an after thought for her. A few days ago, I asked if she had any plans for a full orgasm for me anytime. She said she really had not thought about it much. And she's said this before. She felt the ruined orgasms were sufficient for me. I smiled and agreed. She has found her balance she enjoys.

She also wondered if I enjoyed sex in our beginning WLM. That also is no longer an after thought.  When she wants oral, she simply requests it at her convenience, and I stay dressed, to give it, unless permitted otherwise.  She understands she can have her orgasms whenever she pleases as conveniently as she wishes. It isn't ceremonious, or ritualistic. Just direct spontaneous instructions.

When she wants intercourse, I'm expected to be hard, without any touching or foreplay by her. She no longer finds the need or desire to be fully nude. As we fuck, all my attention is on her to serve. I listen and obey instructions for positions and speed. It's no longer for my personal enjoyment but to ensure she gets as many intense orgasms as she desires. 

Oddly enough with the paradigm shift, I prefer to give her oral even with how often and how hard I have erections. Almost makes me wonder why I still get them. She no longer touches my cock, or receive oral, or regularly have orgasms. Sex isn't a chore but it is a responsibility and a privilege. I'm to perform and the purpose is for her benefit. I play a role as a tool to be used in a loving way. 

Again, it's strange looking back at the progress and transition but it has been amazing and incredible. 

-Mike

More on the Paradigm Shift

 The paradigm shift I wrote about in my last post is an advanced topic when it comes to WLM and something that can only occur in mature WLMs. I know from past comments that many of you are in mature WLMs and so I knew that some of you could relate to the idea and understand it. I was happy to read your comments. I am sure there are also many readers who did not fully grasp the concept or understand how it could work. That is perfectly fine. Even just a few years ago, I could not have wrote the post because I did not know enough to fully comprehend it, and I've been in a WLM for about 20 years.

There are also guys who understand it or who can relate to many aspects of it, but have not made the shift yet. The largest hurdle for guys in making the shift is being able to change their primary focus from self-gratifying pleasure to experiencing pleasure through satisfying her. Most guys that are into being dominated say that their focus is on serving the woman but it is not really true. Their primary reason for submitting to a woman is to experience the pleasure of being dominated. They only want t be dominated in a way that brings them pleasure. That is fantasy play and not true submission.  Again, there is nothing wrong with fantasy play if that is what you want and if you can find a woman who is happy to engage in it from time-to-time. However, the challenge is that submissive guys want to be dominated more and more but most women do not seek out or crave domination in the same way that men crave submission. In fact, it tends to be a lot of work for us and is outside our comfort zone. A guy who is serving primarily for his own self-gratification is high maintenance and becomes tiresome to satisfy and therefore it is not a sustainable for the woman to continue or it becomes unsatisfying for her.

Those who want to succeed longer term and experience a deeper sense of fulfillment, need to channel their submission into doing things that maker her happy. Him doing all the chores that I do not like makes me happy. Pampering me and treating me nice makes me happy. Doing what I tell him or ask him to do without question or complaining makes me happy, and of course pleasuring me the way I like to be pleasured makes me happy. When a guy begins to think and act in way that takes these things into consideration, he is adding value to his submission. This makes domination more appealing to the woman. This is the right path to move down to achieve a long-term sustainable WLM/FLR and to ultimately discover the paradigm shift.

I feel I've gone through a paradigm shift in my thinking as well. In my WLM journey I started out dominating to satisfy my husbands desires. Eventually, I discovered that I could dominate in a way that benefited me while also satisfying him. Over time I used that more and more to my advantage.  However, it was quite a bit of work for me and I was often challenged with finding time to dominate him consistently. The paradigm shift occurred when I realized two critical things. The first was that being strict and demanding and holding him accountable 24/7 is what he really wanted and is what motivates him. The second realization was that I needed to stop viewing him as a traditional husband and begin to manage him like an employee or a child and make him work hard for me so that it frees up my time. For example, instead of me spending time on doing chores and errands, I spend my time managing him doing the chores and errands. Part of that management includes holding him to high expectations, reviewing his performance, and rewarding, disciplining, or punishing him based on that performance. In this new paradigm I also proactively dominate him in ways that he desires in order to bring him emotionally closer to me and motivate him to serve and obey me even more. When I exercise this type of domination it serves a purpose for me and is not just for his self-pleasure. This is a completely different mindset compared to the traditional role of a spouse and not exactly the norm in society. However, it is amazingly effective. In the end, it is a lot less work for me and it satisfies his submissive cravings and makes him want to obey me and be good for me. Now I have much more free time to do what I want and I never have to do unpleasant things like cleaning the toilets. He is loving my increased strictness and domination so it is a win-win for both of us. My standard of living has skyrocketed since I discovered the paradigm shift!

Ironically, I have written about the concepts in the above paragraph in my past posts in some form. Although I wrote about them, I struggled a bit putting them into practice. It's not always easy to do. It took time and trail and error for me to get to a point where things started to really click for me. An athlete does not become a pro overnight. It takes many years and thousands of hours of practice and repetition to build the skills and acquire the knowledge and experience to perform at a high level. The same is true as you move along the WLM journey. I can easily tell you that making the paradigm shift will make everything come together so perfectly in the WLM and be life changing but you're not going to be able to do it effectively without first going through your own WLM journey of trial and error to build your leadership and domination skills.

-Mz Kaylee

Sex Redefined For the Submissive

In a previous post, "Redirecting His Sexual Energy," I wrote about how sex for submissive men evolves into something new.  Here is a quote from that post:

"His sexual pleasure comes from being controlled, being mentally fucked, and pleasuring and obeying her. That is his sex. It is constant arousal with a few burst of intense pleasure thrown in every now then. The submissive man does not have physical sex and orgasm as much as a man in a traditional marriage but his sex life is much better and more intense because his wife is constantly stoking his arousal and sexual energy. Most guys that experience this never want to go back to the traditional way."

This concept resonated with many readers so I decided to expand on it more with this post to help my fellow Female Goddesses understand some of what drives men to submit and serve. I owe much credit to my husband for this post because I picked his brain a lot when writing this. Of course, he is my property and therefore all the credit goes to me anyway :). 

Teasing and Orgasm Denial (T&D) Redefine His Sex Life

A man who has very few orgasms and very few chances at intercourse but who has an incredible and intense sexual life, makes perfect sense to me. However, when I think back to when I first learned about female domination (femdom) and wife led marriage (WLM) the idea of teasing and orgasm denial (or orgasm control) was strange to me. When my husband first confessed his desire for me to control his orgasms, it was humorous to me and I remember thinking it was strange. I immediately questioned him in a joking way by saying something like, "you mean I can forbid you from having an orgasm for two months if I want?"I totally expected him to back-pedal on his desire so it completely surprised me when he told me that if that's what I wanted, I could do it. It seemed crazy to me at the time but it sounded like fun to try. And trust me, I had a lot of fun with it the first few weeks and have never turned back since.

I soon realized that my husband wanted me to always orgasm before him and that he found it exceptionally thrilling if he gave me an orgasm while I denied him from having an orgasm. I must confess it is nice having a man completely focused on my pleasure and expecting no orgasm in return. However, deep down there was that burning question of why does he not want to orgasm with me or what is he getting out of it? Even my husband admitted that when he first learned about orgasm denial, he did not understand why guys would want to be denied orgasm. Why would a guy want to be denied the intense pleasure that he naturally craves on a daily basis?

What I've learned over the years is that there are two key reasons that submissive guys get hooked on T&D. The first is the submissive rush they get from being controlled by a female. Submissive guys enjoy being under the authority of someone else and they crave experiences in which they feel strictly controlled. When a female takes control of when and how a guy can orgasm, it brings out those deep submissive feelings and those submissive feelings generate arousal. Since guys pretty much want to masturbate every day, when their wife controls their orgasms, it means on a daily basis they are feeling her control because they are either locked in chastity or must exert self-control to refrain from masturbating to orgasm, The second reason is to experience the intense arousal and pleasure of being teased and denied orgasm. This is often a learned experience for a guy. Many guys will reject the idea of denial because they don't understand the pleasure that comes from it. Most guys have their sights set on the orgasm. However, once a guy experiences the pleasure of teasing and denial it opens up a new world of pleasure for him and after a few times many guys become hooked.

We all know that orgasms result in amazing and intense pleasure that can not be replicated by any other means. Let's face it, orgasms are great! However, for men they are short and for a lot of guys getting to the orgasm is very quick. There is a reason why "the two minute man" is a common joke. Most guys are also 'one and done.' Not only are they done after one orgasm, but they become completely checked out and disinterested in the women. So while guys love sex, it is typically a quick experience and results in him shutting down afterward. 

Guys who discover T&D, learn that it leads to long lasting pleasure. There is pleasure during the teasing that ebbs and flows continuously and there is a rush of pleasure at the moment of denial. Unlike an orgasm, the rush of pleasure from denial does not suddenly drop. In fact, the guy usually has to concentrate and fight to lower the pleasure so that he does not orgasm. Riding on the edge of orgasm and being brought to the edge over and over again results in intense and long-lasting physical and mental pleasure. After denial he is still in a very heightened aroused state, which means his wife or girlfriend can still use him for her pleasure. The arousal even continues after his partner is done with him. After an intense T&D session with my husband, it will often take him over an hour to calm himself down and come off the erotic high. Even after the erotic high fades, he remains very horny for days. In those following days my dominance keeps fueling his arousal so that his horniness never completely fades away between T&D sessions.

A big difference between T&D and traditional sex with orgasm is that T&D taps deep into the guys emotions and mental state. Not only is there physical pleasure but he is mentally fucked by his partner. He enjoys the physical pleasure but he must mentally fight to not give in completely to the pleasure. This mind fuck enhances the physical pleasure while also keeping the pleasure flowing long after the wife or girlfriend is done with him. That is what makes it exciting and addictive for guys. I've heard from many guys that they are disappointed when their wife allows them an orgasm because they would rather experience the rush of pleasure from being denied and they do not want to experience the post orgasm drop.

I believe T&D is the most significant factor that changes the submissive's sex life, which is why I've dedicate a few paragraphs in this post on the topic. When a guy continues to experience T&D, he discovers that the long-lasting pleasure associated with it is a better experience than traditional sex with a short and intense orgasm. He also prefers the benefit of remaining horny and energized after denial versus experiencing the post orgasm "drop," 

Female Control and Authority Redefine His Sex Life

The next most significant factor that changes the submissive's sex life, is his craving and desire to experience female control and authority. Submissive men get aroused when they are dominated by their wife or girlfriend. The more a wife/GF embraces her dominance and applies is to her husband/BF the more submissive he becomes toward her and the more aroused he gets from it. When you combine ongoing T&D with regular dominance, it is life-changing for the guy. T&D multiplies the effects of her dominance and the arousal that the submissive experiences from it. A guy who is kept in a perpetual state of horniness by his partner, becomes easily controlled, trained, and conditioned. His mind and body thrive on the regular pleasure and therefore he begins to follow whatever path brings him more pleasure. His mind is conditioned to associate acts of dominance with pleasure and therefore, he becomes easily aroused at the littlest acts of dominance. 

All I need to do is change my tone of voice to strict and authoritative and *boom* my husband gets aroused. If I correct him or question his actions, his cock will stir in his pants. He is excited to do errands for me and he becomes very submissive when doing chores. Compare this to a traditional man and a traditional marriage and this behavior is completely bizarre. How many guys do you know, that will get excited from doing errands for their wife or will take criticism without question or argument? Not many. Before our WLM, my husband would not. He was submissive then but he would not get aroused from me telling him what to do. The difference after WLM is that over time my dominance in combination with T&D changed his mindset.

A Paradigm Shift

Many submissive men who are subject to both domination and T&D on a regular basis, go through a complete paradigm shift in the way they think and in what arouses them. A paradigm shift is a fundamental change in theory or principle assumptions. A real-world historical example is the shift from thinking that the earth is flat to theory that the earth is round. When a big shift in theory occurs, suddenly people think differently and a whole new world of opportunities and discoveries exist.

The paradigm shift that occurs with the submissive sex life is that he no longer views sex as the physical act of intercourse. Achieving an orgasm is no longer the end goal when it comes to sex. Sex becomes about the pleasure he experiences through many channels. These channels includes T&D, pleasuring his wife, being controlled and dominated, being humiliated, visual (e.g. her naked body) and physical touch. Sex to him evolves to encompass many deep emotional and psychological triggers and pleasures. He can easily become fully aroused without ever being touched and he is not only satisfied by that pleasure, he is thrilled by it! 

In this new sex paradigm, he seeks frequent and constant pleasure as opposed to a one and done intense orgasm. Providing oral pleasure to his wife is sex to him. Bringing her to orgasm with his tongue while he is denied, is thrilling and satisfying for him. He savors every moment between her legs and the long lasting arousal that he experiences afterward is a thrilling high for him. Commands and reprimands from his wife are like foreplay to him, that can cause his cock to stir in his pants and grow hard. This is especially true when in an aroused and submissive state-of-mind, which is the norm for a guy who is teased and denied. It's may be hard for women to comprehend, but in this new paradigm, just about every form of control and authority that is exerted, results in some form of pleasure for the submissive guy. He craves this pleasure, which means he craves your control and authority. He wants more and more of it and he can't get enough. He wants to pleasure you because that brings him pleasure. He wants to give you orgasms over and over again and your orgasms are like orgasms to him.

Think of it this way ladies, every time you command him, reprimand him, or exert any form of authority over him, you are stroking his cock with your words and actions. That is his foreplay. Whenever you are teasing his cock, sexually dominating or humiliating him, or he is pleasuring you, that is the equivalent of him having sex with you because in those moment you are fucking his mind and the mind fuck is his sex!  I will end this post with the quote that I started with because it really sums it up well:

"His sexual pleasure comes from being controlled, being mentally fucked, and pleasuring and obeying her. That is his sex. It is constant arousal with a few burst of intense pleasure thrown in every now then. The submissive man does not have physical sex and orgasm as much as a man in a traditional marriage but his sex life is much better and more intense because his wife is constantly stoking his arousal and sexual energy. Most guys that experience this never want to go back to the traditional way."

 

-Mz Kaylee

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Guest Post: Male Conditioning by Khorina

Khorina is a male reader of the blog and had contributed the thoughts below on male conditioning. I find this to be an interesting and fun topic. The techniques he describes below work and are great tools for a wife or girlfriend to have in her "dominant" toolbox. An example in my own marriage, is that early on in our WLM, I conditioned my husband to be aroused and excited from massaging my feet. Now whenever I demand a foot massage, he is very excited to do it and gets an erection before he even starts. He is always to be naked or in just panties when he massages me so there is no hiding his arousal.  I also experimented a bit with stirring his arousal through perfume scent. It was working for me but I am not big on wearing perfume so I never stuck with it.   - Mz Kaylee

Thoughts on Conditioning by Khorina: 

I think any men, not only submissive, can be conditioned by women. In a totally vanilla environment, I once heard 'traditional' women talking about how they made their husbands behave in nicer ways by showing or withholding enthusiasm to their behaviors: a wife said she stopped her husband from being rough by showing she was bored while he was rough; another wife replying she would be 'excited' when the husband came back early.

Unknowingly, my Queen conditioned me to Her armpits. It started cause we started making love in a winter and there was a relation for me seeing Her armpits and making love. i always related smooth armpits with females, but i didn't see it as a fetish, just as something feminine. As I shared this with Her, She started purposely showing off Her armpits while making love, seducing me. Although i liked Her scent, it was really about the visual. Summer arrived and i pointed out how beautiful She was with blouses/dresses that showed Her armpits. She would playfully fix Her hair and I'd get crazy. She also started using it to relax me as I was going through job stress. Through repetition, it just naturally became established as something positive. At some point, it became a reward for good behavior. Finally She just realized it's something She could use to make me submissive to Her needs, and has been using it like that. She was never big about sex so we started moving towards my chastity for some time, but when at the end of last year we had a circumstance that gave us a reason to go for total abstinence, She said She'd help me by giving me 'rewards'. Nine months into it and i'm more and more submissive and She knows i'd look to keep Her happy every day to be able to kiss Her shoulder or see Her armpit. Crazy how the thing that She used to condition me (armpits, or panties in your post) has now become MUCH more important and increased my submission than what was supposed to be goal (making love). 

Khorina

No Talking Rule

As I noted in a previous post, some of the rules and protocols that I used during Boot Camp with my husband, I decided to continue outside of Boot Camp. One rule that I've used regularly since Boot Camp is the no talking rule. At least once a week I designate a time frame when Thomas is not to speak unless I ask him a direct question. Sometimes it occurs on a weeknight after work and a few times I've used the rule all day on Saturday or Sunday. On days when talking is allowed, I've been working with him (code for training him) on only speaking when he has something of value to add that I want to hear. In other words, I don't want him to insert his opinion when it's not needed and I don't want him to talk about things that annoy me or that I have no interest in. The training is going quite well!

I have to admit that it is fabulous to have him sit quietly next to me and only talk when I ask him a question. It is also enjoyable that I can order him to do something and he can not question me or add his own commentary. He just obeys without a word. I like that a lot!! In that past he has frequently told me that he feels owned by me. Well I can tell you that his obedience without comment gives me the feeling of ownership of him.

Recently, on one of the evenings in which the no talking rule was in effect, I was in the mood for sex. When I gave him permission to pleasure me, I also reminded him that he was not allowed to talk. The only words he was allowed to say were "please stop," if he was about to have an orgasm. I also decided not to say much so he had to pay close attention to my body language and follow my lead on how to pleasure me. Eventually I ended up on top of him, riding him until I had an orgasm.  When I was done I told him how great it was and before he could respond, I told him again in a firm tone, that he was not allowed to talk. He was to remain silent until the morning. He was fully aroused but all he could do was lay silently next to me while I read in bed.

It was fun and exciting for me to tease his cock and use him for my pleasure without him being allowed to talk or orgasm. He was silent before, during, and after sex. This made him completely submissive and 100% focused on me and my pleasure. He existed as my sex toy to play with and use anyway I wanted. This parallels the concepts written about in the guest post a few weeks ago from Mistress Kym on objectification. In particular, her words "you own it, and use it as you desire or need," resonated well with my experience.  

It was an exciting experience for both Thomas and I and one that I will most definitely do again!

-Mz Kaylee