A Special Treat For Thomas

This past weekend, my husband received a special treat. He was allowed to orgasm during sex with me. This is a rare occurrence for him. It might happen twice a year if he is lucky (and good!). He did not know it was going to happen until the very last second when I gave him permission. I could tell he prolonged his orgasm as much as possible and savored every second of it. I savored the moment too and it was amazing and wonderful. It is a very special and deeply intimate moment when two people in love orgasm together. It’s like you are touching each other’s souls and connecting on a deep emotional level. Perhaps I was tuned into that feeling because it is something that is a rare occurrence for me also. Often times when we do something frequently, we take it for granted and forget how special it is or lose touch with the good and positive feelings it generates within us.

Thomas gave up his right to an orgasm the day he agreed (or rather begged 😊) to be submissive to me. His orgasms are a privilege and not a right. Sex with me is an even greater privilege for him and only allowed when I decide. Most of the time he satisfies me through oral pleasure. When we do have sex, I am on top and in control and he has been trained to not move and not to expect an orgasm. As mentioned above, it is a rare occasion when he is allowed to orgasm during sex. This may seem strange and even cruel but it works for us. I have to admit that I get a rush out of using him for my orgasms while he is straining hard not to orgasm. It was not always like that for me. It took me awhile to realize that type of control and ‘domination’ is actually what Thomas craves. It took me awhile to let go and be selfish in my pleasure without worrying about his. In the end, it really is not selfish because as crazy as it sounds it is an even bigger rush for Thomas to be denied orgasm while I have one. It drives him wild and he loves it.

One final thought on the topic – I have read where some women will deny their husband sex altogether or may never let them orgasm during sex. There are two big reasons why I think it’s a better approach to limit sex rather than prohibit it. The first is the I believe the deep connection that occurs during sex when you orgasm together is beneficial for the relationship and a  very special and exciting experience. Second is that it makes the denial of orgasm for the husband that much tougher afterwards. When you give him a taste of something great, it’s hard to resist wanting more. The denial becomes harder and the hope grows within him that it will happen again. It’s a bitter-sweet motivator and so much fun!!

-Mz Kaylee

Your 2020 WLM/FLR

I hope many of you heeded the advice in my last post and took time to reflect on your relationship and to plan ways to improve and strengthen it over the next year. In any relationship it is smart to regularly reflect on how things are going and then make adjustments or enhancements to keep the relationship strong and exciting. It is also good practice to do this in all areas of your life. Set goals for yourself and write them down. Did you know that you are more likely to achieve your goals when you write them down? Try Taking that extra step and write them down as vividly as you can. After I write my goals down, I like to review them regularly so I stay focused on achieving them.

It also helps to put a plan in place to achieve your goals. What specifically are you going to do to make it happen? If you are not sure of your plan right away, that is fine. The first step is to write down your goals and get it in your head that you are going to accomplish them. You can focus on the “how” later. You may need to do research, talk to others, or even attend training or workshops to figure out the “how” part.

For 2020, I have written down several goals in the areas of my job as well as my personal life and Wife Led Marriage (WLM). A personal goal for me is to live in the moment. I am always thinking ahead and as a result I often half pay attention to the person talking to me. I need to develop the habit of focusing on the person talking to me and what is happening at the moment. My plan for achieving this goal is to be an active listener, which means paying close attention, asking questions, and reconfirming what I am hearing.

One of my WLM goals is to be more specific with my feedback and direction to my husband so that he can serve me better. When I do weekly discipline sessions I often breeze through the feedback or go easy on Thomas. When Thomas and I reflected back on the times that he became lazy or got himself into trouble, it was usually when we went several weeks in a row with quick or easy discipline sessions. Don’t get me wrong, he needs to do a better job at staying obedient (that is one of his goals) but I also have a responsibility to be firm and honest during the discipline sessions. My plan for achieving this goal is to take time to prepare for the session in advance so that I have clear and direct feedback for him. On a side note, last year one of my goals was to be consistent with having regular discipline sessions. Although I breezed through some of the sessions, there were very few weeks where I did not do a discipline session with Thomas and that was a big success for me. Now that I have gotten a routing down for the sessions, I will focus on making them more effective (e.g. provide specific feedback) in 2020. This is a good example of how I am regularly reassessing my WLM and making adjustments to make it better.

When it comes to your WLM goals and plan, involve your spouse in the discussion. The wife, as the leader, has the final say on what gets written down but the husband should be given the opportunity to share his thoughts and he should have a clear understanding of what the goals and action plan are so that you can both work together to make them happen.

What goals have your set for 2020 and how do you plan to achieve them?

-Mz Kaylee

Happy New Year

Wishing you all a happy new year! With a new year approaching, it is a good time to think about how to make your WLM even better. To my fellow Goddesses, think about changes you can make to "up" your Goddess lifestyle and what things can be done to motivate your husband to serve and obey you even more. Can he take on more chores or pamper you more? Is there a new routine that can be added to your week or day? What additional rules can you add to keep him in line or make him feel even more controlled and owned by you? You can make it a goal to be more strict, hold him more accountable by enforcing punishments, or just try new things and pushing his or your limits. It can be exciting to try something completely new such as experimenting with chastity, strap-on sex, or feminization. 

Adding a theme to the year can be fun. For example, you can tell him that in 2020 you are going to explore his feminine side more or that the focus will be on training him to be a better slave for you. Other themes can be that he will learn to worship you like a Goddess or that you will explore pet play with him. There is no shortage of themes that can be used. Let your creative mind run wild!  Throughout the year you can buy items, set expectations and plan activities and training that support the theme. Themes are also nice because they help the submissive get into the right mind set and stay focused. It can be a fun journey to gradually explore the theme during the year, going deeper and deeper into it as the year progresses. 

For those of you that are submissive husbands, think about how you can better serve your wife. What can you do to make her live like a Goddess? What can you do to make her happier? Think about telling her that you want to be a better husband and want to do a better job at serving her. Don't be afraid to ask for her help with it and ask for her to give you feedback and hold you accountable in 2020.

It's healthy for any relationship to try new things and evolve the relationship. It keeps things fun and exciting and helps the couple grow closer together.  So what are you going to do about it in 2020?

Happy New Year!

Why Dealing With Submissive Men is Like Dealing With a Five Year Old

Thanks to all who participated in the discussion from the last post. There were quite an array of responses - some agree, some disagree and some in the middle. A few people took it a step further and talked about men actually being treated like a child or baby, which was not the intent of my question, but I enjoyed the comments and hearing about the experiences. I was glad to see differing opinions because that makes a good discussion and leads to more thought provoking comments. More people disagreed than agreed with the statement that "dealing with men is like dealing with a five year old." I think that is because more men responded than women. Special thanks to the few women that responded. It was disappointing that we did not hear from more women because the question really is aimed at women. While I enjoyed reading all the comment from the guys, the reality is that guys can not fairly comment on the subject because it is the women who have to deal with them.

The idea of posting the question came as a result of correspondence I was having with another woman who is in a WLM. As we shared our experiences and dynamics in our WLMs, we both concluded that many of the things we do with our husbands are similar to what you would do with a child. Examples include: having to punish or spank them, sending them to the corner, being very specific and authoritative when telling them what to do, having to regularly monitor the tasks that they do to ensure they are done correctly, telling them "good boy," regularly questioning them on things they've done, and talking with them, using a motherly tone.

Some of the reactions and things that submissive men do also reminded us of what a child would do. The guilty look on his face when I question him about sitting in my chair, the sad look when he is punished, or the pouting when he is not happy are examples. Another common example is how submissive men are constantly vying for our attention and will do silly or bad things just to get it. We can see right through that boys! On the positive side, when I use a strict and demanding tone he responds immediately, similar to a child who knows not to disobey his mother in that moment.

I  am not implying the submissive men are the same as a five-year old and that men have the same maturity level of a five-year old. There are moments when they act like a child but overall submissive men certainly are more mature than than a child.  My earlier post on the "Strong Submissive Man," emphasizes the the many great qualities of submissive men and those strong qualities are clearly above the level of a five-year old. What I am merely stating in this post is that there are similarities in dealing with children and dealing with submissive men,

Dealing with submissive men is like dealing with a child but that is not necessarily a bad thing. It is just something for women to understand as the embark on a WLM. Women need to feel comfortable punishing their husbands, being authoritative, and acting in a motherly way toward them. It may seem strange at first but the more you accept and do these things, the more natural it feels and the better results you will get with your husband.

-Mz Kaylee.

Just for fun: Agree or Disagree

Dealing with submissive men is like dealing with a 5-Year old

The Strong Submissive Man

I want to dispel a myth or rumor that you may have heard. Often times I hear of people who think or have the impression that submissive men are weak and inferior people. That is far from the truth. Submission does not mean weak or that a person is inferior. From a hierarchy or power point of view they are inferior to someone else but it does not make them an inferior as person. A submissive man is also not automatically submissive to others. My husband is 100% submissive to me but at work he is a leader and has employees reporting to him. He is well respected among his friends. I would not expect or want him to feel that he is submissive to others.

I do tease him that he is weak. That is part fantasy play but let's also acknowledge that he is weak for me; not a weak person but my feminine power over him makes him weak for me. That's no different than other guys, right? The most macho men, the most intelligent men, even powerful men are weak in the presence of  women that they are attracted to or women who know how to seduce him and press his hot buttons. So there you have it, both submissive men and macho men have the same weaknesses when it comes to women.

Now let's talk about some of the qualities of the submissive man that I consider much better qualities than the typical non-submissive man:

• You are great communicators and for the most pat open and honest about feelings. I have learned to be a better communicator because of my husband. Because of this we have very few arguments and resolve differences quickly and without holding grudges.
• You listen and pay attention to your wife. Your primary focus is on her and family and not your friends. This is huge! I can't tell you how many guys I see that are more interested in hanging out with their friends than their wife. That's an issue! Your wife should be your #1 priority. 
• When you are asked or told to do something, you do it without arguing or giving an attitude (most of the time :).
• You say "I love you" a lot and are more open to showing your vulnerability. 
• You do many things on your own to show appreciation for your wife such as buy her flowers just to make her day better.
• You do all the chores that  your wife does not like doing.
• Orgasm denial has trained you well.  You have stamina and endurance that can outlast most men

When I read the above list, I do not see weakness. I see a strong, caring, and hardworking man.  I see man that I would be lucky to know and lucky to be married to.  Guys - do not be ashamed of your submission or view yourselves as weak or inferior to others. Embrace your submission, be proud of it, and recognize that you are a strong person with great qualities.

-Mz Kaylee.

Why I Love My Submissive Husband

1. On Sunday I woke up and a hot cup of coffee was waiting for me, made just the way I like it. That is an every day occurrence for me.
2. I relaxed most of the day and watched TV while hubby did all his chores- laundry, vacuum, clean bathrooms, etc.
3. I had a few errands to do and he was my personal chauffeur. It's nice to not have to worry about driving.
4. In the afternoon I cooked and baked. I do not delegate these activities because I enjoy them. However, the mess I make and all the dirty dishes are cleaned up by hubby. Baking is much more enjoyable when I don't have to clean up.
5. He fills my car with gas and withdraws cash from the ATM for me for the week. I love that this happens every week without me telling him to do it.
6. I tell him to get something out of my car for me. He jumps to it immediately without question.
7. In the evening he showers and shaves (both face and balls) in preparation for our night routine. It's nice to have a smooth clean man in bed.
8. Before bed he bathes me and massages me. After my massage I allow him to pleasure me. He gives me a fantastic orgasm without expecting one in return.
9. After my orgasm, I send him to kneel naked in the corner. He has been good the past week so it is not a punishment but instead it serves as a reminder of his position in our marriage. 
10. I drift to sleep while he kneels in the corner and reflects on his submission to me. Before he goes to bed he will let the dog out,  lock up the house for the night and turn off all lights.

Submissive men are great! If you don't have one you are missing out big time!

-MzKaylee