Stupid Google!

So apparently Google had a data breach and it affected my account. Ultimately it lead to me being locked out of my account for a week. Ugh! Not a good solution in today's world.  Anyway....have patience with me as I catch up on e-mails and comments. I was pleased to see continued activity in the comments section of posts. I am enjoying the discussion in Trina's post - Punishment Can Arouse and Still Work.  I especially like the depth of the comments and that the discussion is bringing to light the deeper complexities of punishment and discipline. The more we dig into these dynamics and understand them, the better we can effectively incorporate them into our relationships. I am so proud of you all for engaging in meaningful discussion and thank you Trina for bringing the topic to our attention. I will be sure to add a few comments of my own once I get caught up.

-Mz Kaylee

Punishment Can Arouse - and Still Work (Guest Post by Trina)

Let me start by saying that It has been great to see an increase in comments on the blog and that there are new people commenting and more Females engaging in the conversations. I hope the activity in the comments continues to grow. Whether you are new to WLM or experienced, I encourage you to comment and share your experiences, questions or thoughts. The discussions in the comments often lead to great insights and ideas that others can apply to their own relationship. Hearing from others also helps to validate that WLM is real, is beneficial, and that you are not alone in your quest. Thank you all for your continued engagement.

Having said all that, I am very pleased to publish another post from a Female. In this post Trina, addresses an issue that I am sure many women new to WLM struggle with - "why punish if he gets aroused by it?" It is something that I questioned early in my relationship. A post like this would have helped me many years ago. Thank you Trina for sharing your insights and advice on this important topic. -Mz Kaylee

Punishment Can Arouse – and Still Work

By Trina

My husband is a spanko, so he loves everything about getting spanked except the severe pain during the spanking itself. And yet I effectively use spanking as a punishment, even though he is aroused immediately beforehand and soon afterwards – and he is aroused when he thinks about an upcoming punishment or one that has happened, either recently or long ago. 

Like most dominant wives, I initially believed that punishment needed to be completely separate from sexual activities or feelings, and I tried hard to make that happen. After all, if it turned him on to be punished, wouldn’t he act out on purpose in order to receive punishment? And wouldn’t that negatively impact our WLM/FLR? It certainly would seem so. But as I will explain, that has not turned out to be the case.

As a lifelong spanko, my husband had one basic need when we were dating and deciding whether to have a serious relationship: Spanking needed to be a regular part of any relationship for him. As a switch, he didn’t much care if he was the spanker or the spankee, as long as somebody went over somebody’s knee at least once a week. As a divorcee who had lived a vanilla life, I knew that I wanted to be dominant and use spanking to keep my husband in line. So I told him (and showed him) that I was going to be the spanker and he would need to be satisfied with that. I also told him that the spankings would not be play; they would be real punishment and I would expect them to work in terms of improving his behavior.

I was fearful that he would enjoy my punishment spankings, so I took steps to prevent that: I spanked him severely, to the point that only a true masochist could enjoy it. I forbid any sexual activity after a spanking. I stayed fully dressed during his spankings. I bared his bottom but did not let him be naked. I refused to spank him in our bedroom. I sometimes made him masturbate to completion beforehand so he couldn’t get an erection during the spankings and so the spankings would be more painful.

None of this worked. When I announced a spanking, he would have an instant erection. Yes, I would “spank him soft,” and he definitely would not be enjoying the punishment. But afterwards? He would be hard very soon and he would want to service me orally, which I wanted too but was refusing him in order to try to keep the punishment separate from sex.

At the same time, the punishments improved his behavior. Whatever I spanked him for, he made a renewed effort to obey my wishes. And he was not misbehaving on purpose in order to get punished. This seemed extremely paradoxical to me: How can spanking work as punishment when you love it so much? Punishment is something you should want to avoid, and that desire to avoid it is what improves your behavior. That is reasonable and logical … but not how my submissive male’s mind works.

At first he couldn’t really explain it when I tried to talk to him about it. He would just say, “I’m a spanko, I believe I was born a spanko, I’ve always been one and I will always be one, and that’s all I know.” But as we continued talking about it and I continued thinking about it, a glimmer of understanding began in my mind – helped by his response to other punishments and by our new program of orgasm denial.

As a spanko, he definitely did not care for other punishments: corner time, writing lines, forbidden to watch sports on TV, going to bed early, not sharing my bed, and the one he hates most: being grounded from going out with his buddies. And yet, when I announced any of these punishments he got the beginning of an erection, which he sometimes maintained during the punishment itself. Even when I did the thing he hates absolutely the most – made him call his buddies and tell them that his wife would not allow him to join them (as I listened and giggled) – he often would be hard throughout the phone call!

This was also demonstrated when we started a program of orgasm control. I had not planned on orgasm denial in my marriage. I quite enjoy sexual intercourse (PIV), and particularly mutual orgasm (on the rare occasions when it happened). I never wanted to give that up, and I had begun training him to try to wait for me and then to orgasm with me. He actually was quite good at lasting a long time. His issue was not coming too fast but that sometimes he had trouble maintaining his erection. That was a bit surprising to me for a man in his 30s (at the time) who claimed to find me so arousing. Then I found out why: He was looking at spanking porn and masturbating regularly! Even though I was spanking him weekly as he desired!

That infuriated me. I was deeply offended. He promised to stop, but he would always go back to it. It was truly an addiction, one that he had had since a teenager, and even getting regular spankings wasn’t enough to stop it. I told him it had to change. Eventually he suggested a chastity cage to me. I love his cock and didn’t want it locked away. But I agreed to try it.

Of course it worked for masturbation control. Without the ability to touch himself, he didn’t much care for looking at porn, either. Then we began to notice what many other wives on here have noticed: He enjoyed having his orgasms restricted, especially when I would tease and deny him. Since I have always liked playing with his cock, this became a mutual pleasure. Now I play with him quite regularly in the evenings when he is doing chores for me. I love getting him hard, then sending him off to do a chore, and then when he has to report for inspection seeing if he is still hard. I consider it a compliment to me that he is so aroused by my dominance that he can stay hard throughout a chore! Like other men on here, he says that being teased and denied and allowed very few orgasms is actually better sex than we he came whenever he wanted. A paradox … but one that is clearly proven by the behavior of our submissive husbands!

So, I finally realized a similar paradox: that punishment improved his behavior even though he was aroused by it. I saw that he was very aroused by me scolding him and issuing punishments – by me being dominant and “forcing” him to be submissive. So it wasn’t just spanking that turned him on; it was being controlled by a dominant wife. But that did not mean that the punishments were ineffective. On the contrary, the more I bossed him around, the more obedient he became. There was no way that he was not going to be turned on by punishment and my dominance. So why should I expect that?

It has taken me a while, but I actually have come to the conclusion that arousal can enhance the impact of punishment in terms of improving behavior. I know that may be a controversial conclusion that is different from many wife-led marriages, and I hope that other women will comment.
Trina

 

This and That.... (Guest post by AJ)

Below is just a random collection of things relating to our personal relationship which I have found to be beneficial and which I feel contribute to the continuing success of our marriage. Some of these may have an FLR flavoring to them, but most I think are pretty generic and would apply to all types of relationships. Hopefully these may come in handy to some of you, even if its just as a reminder of something which you already do or which is already some part of your life, but just have forgotten to do or think about lately. Some of these might come in handy with Valentines day just around the corner…..

1) I still love it very much when my husband randomly and without being in any sort of “trouble”, brings me home a nice bouquet of flowers. Nothing extravagant, just those $10 grocery store bundles. It still makes me feel very special and loved.

2) I still love it when he randomly plants a kiss on my lips and tells me that he loves me (and means it). No ulterior motive working in his mind, just a simple genuine expression of love. Men don’t ever be stingy with this one.

3) Same as 2 above but this time me doing the talking and the kissing.

4) I watch my diet AND exercise regularly both for my benefit as well as his. Now that I’m in my fifties (sshhhh) those extra pounds seem to get put on quicker than in those earlier years, and are also considerably harder to work off. I also try to moderate my alcohol intake especially on these cold wintry and Covid influenced days (and nights). It’s important, I believe, to try to stay physically attractive to our spouses. A healthy mind and body are a big leg up on staying desirable.

5) What I just wrote above in 4, applies to him every bit as well. Given my position of dominance in our marriage, I am able to promote and enforce a healthier lifestyle for my husband. So this is an easier win for me had I (We) not been in an FLR.

6) Going further with the healthy mind and body theme, we make it a point to read books to keep our minds active and to stay active in the pursuit of knowledge and personal growth material. Every other Wednesday night we head to our local library. This is an actual date we have on our calendars. We each find a book of interest and try to read those books within the 2 week spans we have in between those library nights. As a woman, I find an intelligent mind extremely attractive. We kind of make a night of it, after finding our books, we head over to the local coffee shop and enjoy a nice coffee or tea, and a pastry or sandwich, and we just discuss life while we are there. Usually nothing sexual at all in our discussions (although some times I might play a little bit of footsie under the table with his little caged package), but I find the whole intellectual outing process alluring of itself. I believe that keeping the mind active helps prevent and ward off things like early onset Alzheimer's. Anyhow it works for us and we both really enjoy these nights out.

7) Turn the tables every now and then. The vast majority of days I am on the receiving end of his pampering, and he genuinely enjoys doing that for me, but everyone deserves an unexpected treat every now and then. So once and a while I give him the night off so to speak, and do some catering to his needs whether its a full body massage or whatever (no it doesn't mean he gets an orgasm…)

8) Be generous with praise and kind words. Be affectionate. What goes around, tends to come around.

9) Sometimes, believe it or not, I am not in the mood for sex. In my case, the vast majority of the time sex means oral from my husband and I really enjoy and love it most nights. But not every single night. Sometime you have your period as well… On some of those nights our “alternative activity” is for me to nurse my husband while laying in bed. While there is a slight sexual overtone to doing this as a couple, its mostly about sharing emotions for us. My husband goes to this deep wonderful emotional place when he’s at my breast, and… so do I. I love it. I have a post somewhere here on this site which discusses that further.

10) Surprise me every now and then and take me out to dinner. Emphasis on surprise. We don’t eat out often, for budgetary reasons and for the fact that we enjoy our own home cooked meals, but an occasional night out really hits the spot every now and then and makes everyone feel a bit special. The local diner is perfectly fine, doesn't have to be fancy and expensive.

11) Random foot massages/soaks and neck massages are always wonderful and appreciated. No FLR or sexual component needed. Random small scale pampering to say I love you and that I appreciate you. Again feel free to turn the tables on this one every now and then.

As I think of more items which we periodically enjoy and find beneficial as a couple, I will post again. Hopefully some of the ones I included above will resonate with some of you, and you can give them a try in your relationship if they are not already present. Enjoy life and one another. It can’t always be centered on sex. Keeping the passion alive in your relationship can take so many forms outside of that.

-AJ

Permanent Behavior Modification

One aspect of the Wife Led Marriage (WLM) lifestyle that I have come to enjoy is permanently modifying the behavior of my husband. I get a thrill out of using my feminine power and control over him to change his habits, his thoughts, and mindset. I am not talking about fantasy or physical control. I am talking about a deep emotional change in his being and the way he thinks. It was my husband who first brought this concept to light for me. It was about a year and half after our formal WLM began, that he confessed to me some deep thoughts on behavior change. He did not call it behavior modification and I don't think at the time he realized how deep and profound his confessions were but they certainly struck a chord with me.

What he shared with me was that he had been reflecting back on his life over the past few years and realized that he was a much different person now then he was prior to our WLM (for context this occurred 15+ years ago, so 'now' was actually 15+ years ago). He further explained that my authority over him was very real to him and not fantasy play; that his natural instinct was to always obey me and look to me for approval. He gave examples such as, whenever I punish or discipline him, he does not think twice about accepting it and complying with it. The thought of resisting or arguing never occurs because he knows he must obey, much like a young child obeys his mom because she is the ultimate authority and in the child's mind, he/she has no other choice. He also gave the example that whenever someone invites him or us to an event, whether it be a social gathering, dinner, or weekend away, his first thought is to run it by me for approval. It does not even occur to him anymore to accept the invite on his own (fast forward to current day and most of our mutual friends have picked up on this and have learned to ask me and not him. Now I make the arrangements and just inform him on what we are doing). Ultimately he confessed to me that he became very aroused when he came to the realization that my control and dominance over him had changed him as a person, including his natural instincts and his thought processes. He liked that I had 'molded' him and the realization of all this made him feel even more submissive to me. 

"Wow!" was what I was saying in my head. At first it seemed crazy to me, but the more it sank in, the more it made sense, and I liked what I was hearing. The main reason that I decided to fully embrace the WLM lifestyle was because I started experiencing many benefits from my husband's submission to me. The improvement in my lifestyle was noticeable as a result of him taking on more chores, pampering me, and accepting my word as the final word in all matters. When I realized how much I was benefiting from controlling him, I made the conscious decision to fully commit to a WLM. After committing to WLM, I was happy with the things my husband was doing but it never occurred to me that his actions were really the result of changes in his thought process and mindset. When he shared this with me, it made me realize how life changing my control over him is. That's so deep!

His confession years ago, intrigued me and I became fascinated with the emotional impact of female domination. Naturally that interest influenced they way I used my feminine power over Thomas. I became more in tune the emotional side of domination and submission. As a result, I began to look for ways to exert my control in a manner that not only benefited me but also influenced his emotional state. Some of it was just for fun and some of it was because I knew it would turn him into puddy in my hands. My dominance quickly became much more effective.  For example, I became very purposeful in the words that I used when talking to him and giving him orders because I knew certain words had a definite impact on his mental state such as calling him "slave" or "pet," referring to him as a girl or little boy, telling him "good boy" or "good girl," and telling him he looked cute in his panties. 

I also experimented with conditioning him to get aroused. I am sure most of you heard of the experiment of Pavlov's Dog, where Pavlov continually showed a hungry dog food and rang a a bell. The dog would salivate at the site of the food. Eventually, Pavlov just rang the bell and the dog salivated because his brain connected the sound of the bell to the sight of the food. Sorry guys, but you and your penis's are just the like Pavlov's dog.  A little teasing of my husband's cock each time I asked for a massage eventually turned into him getting aroused by me asking for a massage, and that still happens today.  It works with smell to. I once wore the same perfume every time I played with his cock. Then a few weeks later I sat next to him on the couch, wearing the same perfume, and *boom* suddenly he got all frisky with me.  You guys are so easily conditioned!

Those were fun little experiments, but it is exciting to train and condition him for longer term behavior modification. It sounds like fantasy talk, but it is all true. Behavior and thoughts are changed over time through a structured and controlled environment, that includes accountability, discipline, repetition and positive reinforcement. When this is all highly correlated or linked to his arousal and sexual desires, the impact is significant. I would even say it is life changing. Over the years, through my continuous control over my husband, he has been transformed into an obedient slave for me, not just by his actions, but also in the way he thinks, talks to me, and responds to me. When I ask for something to be done, there is no longer any hesitation. It is his natural reaction to jump at my command. I love that! 

This "husband 2.0" is making my life easier and more exciting. He is literally providing me a higher standard of living by treating me like a Queen. To be clear, this does not mean he does not think on his own and waits on me every second of the day. That is not what I want in a slave husband. No, he has personality, he thinks on his own, makes decisions, and has a say in many decisions. What is different is that much of the way he thinks and acts has been influenced by my control and is done with top consideration for my needs and desires. I've managed to wring out many of his annoying and bad habits over the years! What's fantastic about all this is he loves it also. Knowing that he is being molded by my control is very exciting for him and touches deep into his submissive craving. It is a win-win for both of us.

The training and conditioning never ends either, at least not for me. A few months ago, I began another training project with him. I will write about that in my next post.

-MzKaylee 

Get Your Man Doing His Share of the Housework - ALL OF IT! (Guest post by Debbie)

I am thrilled to publish another guest post written by a Female. In this post, Debbie provides great examples on how she measures her husband's performance. Debbie also has a profile full of great information in the profile section. Thanks for being an amazing Goddess Debbie and contributing to the blog!   -MzKaylee

I loved your post concerning new year's resolutions. You come across like an Ivy League MBA when you say “It's important to be specific and to identify the steps to achieve your goals.” One of my mantras from the business world that I apply in my FLM is “You can't manage what you can't measure”. All employees at work have specific objectives - why shouldn't my submissive husband?

So, I set out to specifically define what I wanted when David cleaned the living room. Or what I expected when 'cleaning the bathroom' was on David's agenda. Same thing for ironing, laundry, car care and so on. Mother developed the standards and trained David in each one. David was given a pink covered journal to write down the specifics of each task. Mother walked him around the living room, for example, calling out each area of concern and what was entailed and checking it off his list. After his initial training Mother stood over him twice more, making comments or corrections and allowing David to ask questions. I have to stop here and address male fantasies - NO mother is NOT standing over David wearing a mini dress with fishnet pantyhose - this is all about work, not about male fantasies.

Chores are divided into four categories - spring cleaning, party, mid-week, and refresh. Spring cleaning is the most intense, it's done in spring, of course, but also in getting ready for the winter holidays. At my direction spring cleaning might be done as many as four times a year and includes heavy tasks such as cleaning and rehanging drapes, deep cleaning carpets, polishing silverware, moving furniture, etc. Party entails cleaning after entertaining visitors - dusting, vacuuming, spot cleaning the rugs for spills, etc. Freshen is light dusting, vacuuming, sanitizing the bathrooms, etc.

David has measures for each assigned task. If he works to his pink book punishment is unlikely. However, if he doesn't match expectations there can and will be consequences. A few weeks ago David questioned Mother when she critiqued his cleaning of the family room. David was more questioning than being insubordinate but it required a response and mother gave it to him. She took two boxes of cereal and scattered their contents far and wide about the family room for David to clean. David learned a lesson that he soon won't forget.

David has to wear a feminine apron while doing chores, whether at home or when cleaning at a girlfriend's home, or whether we have visitors. When ladies visit, David's focus is on serving them and then getting back to his chores Some time back two of my girlfriends dropped in while David was cleaning. One of the women commented, “WOW, Id love to have a guy around to clean my place. within minutes David had two more ladies to clean for. He spends one morning a week housekeeping for these two ladies.

The bottom line here is that women will get what they want only when they take the time to lay things out for their hubby and hold him to them. And David? He loves his submissive role and readily admits that he's “living the dream”

-Debbie

Why is it never good enough? Why am I never good enough for him? (Guest Post by AJ)

Special thanks to AJ for her continued contributions to the blog. In this post she raises thought provoking questions to women. I encourage our Female readers to comment and provide your thoughts opinions. To learn more about AJ, read her profile page in the profile section of the blog. Not only does she share information about herself in the profile, but she provides great advice to those wanting to start or maintain a WLM/FLR  -MzKaylee

Why is it never good enough? Why am I never good enough for him?

Unfortunately, I think this is the response that a considerable percentage of female readers may initially have when their significant male other introduces them into the desire for FLR based activities. I personally don’t think its at all true or that this is in fact the motivation behind his “special” needs. Lets be frank, 9 times out of 10 it’s not the woman who is desiring  and/or initiating this FLR “stuff”, not initially at least. Its him not you. But why? Why does he have this “weird” need?

Trust me, it’s not at all about you, at least not in the way you are letting your first emotional instincts take you to with this first response judgement. Its not about your letting him down in any way and not being the good enough wife or girlfriend. It is not any sort of indictment on your performance in bed or your abilities as a wife. It’s all about something deeply mysterious which is occurring in that pea sized misshapen man head of his. I think this type of thing has always been the continual misunderstanding between a man and a woman. They just operate and think differently than us in the department of sex, sexuality and relationships is the best deeply thought-out answer that I can provide. We are just typically two different creatures when it comes to this and we both have a hard time figuring the other one out. 

We have wasted so many fights, so many marriages and so many therapy sessions trying to address and understand this. With FLR in particular, why does a man crave to be spanked? Why does a man crave to have his junk locked away? Why does a man want us to subjugate him? It’s frankly bizarre stuff for us women when we first hear of it. We just can’t wrap our heads around it. But the truth of the matter is that neither can he, not really. It’s just how the DNA in many men got put together. Part of it I think, is how tightly bound men are with displaying their real inner emotions. The fact that they are expected to present this stone wall facade of the always in charge and the always under total emotional control. It’s how they were brought up and shown how to behave as a “real man”. It has to be sooo utterly exhausting to live life that way is my personal thought. I think “that's” what partially drives men to this need for things like FLR in their lives. It’s a controlled way for them to open up to the women in their lives, to themselves. They can let our their emotions under this guise. They can relax and not be the in charge person they are expected to be outside of the home and perhaps normally within the home. This is them letting their hair down so to speak.

They also frankly just like weird kinky type sex, can be the other augmenting answer to the one above.

But whatever the real answer is to this age old question of why are men so different than us, it’s not that we as women are failing them some how. It’s not that we aren't good enough as we currently exist. It’s just that we are put together differently. Our thoughts and our emotional processes are just different than theirs. Sexuality just means something a bit different to us both. We respond to various stimulus in different ways than do men. The really cool thing about FLR, I think, is that it is a pathway for women and men to come closer together on the topic of sex and relationships and emotions. Through the concepts of who is behaving dominantly and who is behaving submissively and what that also means emotionally to be the dominant and the submissive in the relationship. Living this in an FLR lifestyle subtly shifts the dynamics of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. I think where we both end up is somewhere more closely in the middle, that’s the real beauty of FLR, not the control and not the everything else.

Anyhow, a very unsubstantial answer to a very complex question and to what is a very valid emotional response that many women might ask themselves when presented with the desire of their man to engage in FLR activity. If it was easy to answer, the relationship counselors would have been out of business years ago I guess. I would really be interested what other women on this site might have to say about this. What is your whole take on why are we (Women) are never good enough for men? Please comment. No one wants to feel that they are broken or not good enough. I know that is not at all your (men's) intent or feelings when you try to bring this “need” up with your wife or girlfriend but unfortunately that’s how many might feel. This would be a wonderful thread for all of the woman readers to comment on. In particular your opinion is the one I want to hear. Men are just weird - I already know that :)

One final word. I use the word weird here frequently. It was all  very weird especially in the early goings. But all I have to say is that now that I have been in the mix with this whole FLR business  for many years - is that its still weird, but a very enjoyable and good weird at the end of the day for me. It works and it has strengthened my relationship. It was never a question if I was not good enough for him. He just wanted me to to be a bit more weird with him :)

-AJ

Clothing and the Submissive Male (Guest post by Nancy a.k.a Edwin)

 Clothes are never ‘just“ clothes. They convey meaning, sometimes about social

status, or role expectations, sometimes about power, and definitely about

gender. When we hear the word “panty” or see a skirt or a dress on a hanger, we

immediately think female. Certain manners of dress (a business suit or military

uniform) imply authority, and others (semi-nakedness, nakedness, or a maid’s

uniform) signals submission.

Some items of clothing have been unconsciously fetishized in early imprinting

(more common with males, obviously), and once they become a part of the

psyche, generally this does not change. Submissive males often feel increasingly

submissive around women dressed in leather, for example, or (my personal

weakness) dressed in heels, nylons, and a business suit.

There seems to be two broad categories in the use of female clothing with the

submissive in Femdom relationships: 1) Forced feminization of the otherwise

“macho male” who finds it humiliating and emasculating to wear female clothing,

and 2) The crossdressing submissive who wishes to emulate his female superior

and views wearing female clothing as a privilege. In both instances, panty training

and the introduction of other items of female clothing in the FLR relationship can

be extremely powerful.

For the male who “fears” panties and other items of women’s lingerie, being

required to wear them as a testament to his devotion and/or as a punishment has

endless potential, including requiring underdressing at work or in social situations,

shopping trips, etc. Colors and styles are also very important. For the male who

fears being emasculated, the pinker and lacier the better. For the crossdressing

submissive, the pinker and lacier, the more he will find the lingerie or panties

thrilling and rewarding.

I fall into the latter category. My wife has never been one hundred per cent

comfortable with my desire to wear women’s clothes, although she has totally

accepted that I wear only women’s underwear. She has, for many years, even

before we embraced FLR, controlled what else she would allow me to wear and

when (all this in a very real sense a precursor to FLR). All my panties are pink,

pastels, or floral. None of hers are. Most, in fact, are black. My pajamas are also

what would be considered more traditionally feminine than hers. However, how

we present to the public outside of our home is distinctly traditional. She dresses

quite feminine, and I am prone to flannel shirts, jeans, etc.

Here’s the thing: I know that I may wear panties or anything feminine only

because she allows it and I view doing so as a privilege that could be lost at any

time. I must ask her permission to buy anything new beyond panties and to wear

anything besides panties and my fem pajamas. Sometimes she will tell me that I

must wait until she is not in the house because she does not want to see it. I have

lost “panty privileges,” and I have earned panty shopping trips when she will take

me, help me select for both me and her, then leave the store and have me take

them to the counter to complete the purchase. In these ways, she has become

quite adept at using my desires to control me.

My guess is that there are few (maybe no) submissive men who have a neutral

response to wearing women’s underwear and other clothing. They either fear it

or love it. It isn’t that hard to figure out which. Either way, it can be used as a

motivator: a reward or a punishment. My wife uses it for both, and I love her for

it.

Nancy/Edwin