FLR in the Workplace (Guest Post by Debbie)

I received an e-mail recently from Debbie, with some thoughts on bringing FLR to the workplace. It is a very intriguing idea. Many companies have programs to help advance women and minorities and training programs on effective leadership styles, so why not have programs to advance dominant female leaders and training on how to lead and follow under the FLR framework? In the corporate environment, this concept as a whole would obviously not fly, but perhaps there are some concepts and learnings from FLR that can be applied to the workplace. There certainly is opportunity for a small business to be set-up with the FLR framework. Wouldn't that be exciting?  Debbie and I thought this would make for a thought provoking post and so I have published her thoughts below. What I like about her suggestions, is that they are realistic and practical. She even offers good advice for women that can be applied now. Thank you Debbie for brining these ideas forward!  Please read and share your thoughts and ideas.

FLR In the Workplace by Debbie

Female-led relationships have been the focus of many of our postings. These many postings have helped women seize financial control and establish rules and protocols and firmly define day-to-day female leadership.

Where to now? Might I suggest that women take the framework we established in our personal relationships and put them to work in our places of business. Let's look to putting together suggestions for Female-led Businesses FLB. It's time we strike out at the patriarchy itself and make female executives the norm NOT the exception. Following are some suggestions to get our discussion going:

• Companies are looking for women to promote throughout their organizations. Most have plans in place to identify, develop, and promote capable women. I availed myself to just such a program and have been promoted four times in two years. I was promoted over four men all of whom now work for me. I an an executive manager and with a corner office and people to delegate my work to.
• If a woman has ideas as to how to reduce a business or how to reduce costs, she should bring her ideas to the attention of management. Preferably a female manager one or two grades above the level of her proposed changes.
• Dress appropriately! As a general rule a woman should 'Dress for the job she wants, NOT the one she has'. Too many very capable women come to job interviews looking like clerk types - they are offered a clerk type position.
• Develop a network of contacts within you new company. Get to know these essential women and make sure they get to know you!
• Be tough and aggressive. Executive management is not a walk in the park.

And don't worry about your house. You've trained hubby to take care of the domestic front so let him take care of things like that.

Debbie

FLR When Around Others (Guest Post by Robert)

 I’m hoping wives and submissive husbands will share how their FLR is maintained when the

two of you are around others or out in public and you don’t want to offend or upset anyone.

I know when home we’re disciplined in many ways and reminded of our status, but in

public, how is it done?

I’ll share some of our ways and hope you’ll share some of yours. Simple things like always

opening any door for her, including the car coming and going, always replying “yes, ma’am,”

or “no, ma’am” when spoken to, and not speaking unless spoken to (with the rare exception

when we’re grocery shopping together and I may see a good deal or remember an item we

forgot to put on our list and may point it out), and the like. 

Also, as with many in FLRs, we know that though our penis is attached to me, it belongs to

her… even when it’s just a hose. Fittingly, I’m required to ask permission to use a rest room

when out and about. Permission is usually immediately given, but can be denied or delayed.

I can only recall once when I didn’t ask permission and just told her I was going to the rest

room while we were at Target. She immediately stopped me and reminded me I had to ask

permission, which I quickly did while also apologizing. “Not yet,” is all she said.

She told me to go to the adult diaper section and buy a small package in my size. With some

trepidation, I did as I was told. Once we were back in the car, she put a diaper in a cloth bag

and told me to go back to the men’s room at Target and put it on, placing the panties I was

wearing in the bag and then come back. With a red face, I obeyed. Finally, as she was

driving us home, she asked if I still needed to use the rest room. I had been needing to pee

for quite a while and told her “yes, please” and she said I could go ahead and do it there. I

then did as I was told and she suddenly “remembered” something we’d forgotten at Target.

Stopping at the grocery store, she told me to go in and get it, which I did, feeling the wet

diaper and hoping no one could tell I was wearing it. I was finally allowed to remove my

diaper and clean myself up about two or three hours after we go home, having had to fill it

one more time.

I’ve never forgotten to ask permission again as I know each car’s trunk has a diaper.

In the summer, we like to have another couple or two over for happy hour in our lovely back

yard now and again. The daughter of a bar keeper, she likes to mix the drinks. A day or two

before company comes, I am often required to masturbate into a glass (of course, she

supervises). She adds about an equal amount of water and freezes the contents in a special

ice cube tray. When making the drinks, my glass has my special “cum cubes” while everyone

else has regular rocks. As they melt in the whisky, I can see my semen as I slowly enjoy my

drink, knowing I’m pleasing her by being submissive.

I hope others can share their thoughts and methods. Thanks so much.

Robert, a submissive husband

Teaching Him How To Play the Banjo (Guest Post by AJ)

As many of you now know, oral sex, that is, my receiving oral sex from my husband, is extremely dominant in our lovemaking. We only engage in PIV sex rarely these days. Once a year with his penis directly (one of his 3 full allowed orgasms), and perhaps another dozen times a year, where I enjoy him pegging me with the strap-on when I get that special urge for having something other than his mouth penetrating my pussy. On his end, he receives oral sex from me only once a year. So oral sex, him giving and me receiving, is very core to our sexual relationship. Oral sex dominates our relationship for several reasons. First, as a means of ensuring and building his tease and denial in our long term chastity relationship (his chastity). It obviously is needed to sustain and drive that dynamic. Denying him sexual access to his penis is important and vital for how we have come to enjoy our relationship. Secondly, I am able to achieve orgasms, and in fact frequently multiple orgasms, from oral sex just about every single time we engage in it. We engage in it very frequently. So yeah, I want and rely upon it for my sexual satisfaction.

I like my analogy of satisfying a woman with oral sex to the skills required for playing  the banjo. There is a lot of rhythmic strumming and coordinated finger work  involved in both activities. You just can’t flay away at the strings of either without a clue and expect good sound to come out.  The same applies with satisfying a pussy. And.... how many good banjo players are out there? Its a pretty small group based on the total population - that's my experience with my sampling of sexual partners over the years including my own husband in the earlier years of our marriage. Good pussy eaters are few and far between, I think. From my conversation over the years with my girlfriends as well as my own earlier findings, its hard to find a man who can consistently make you cum from his abilities in this department. Who's to blame? It doesn't really matter is my take on this. What we should focus on is corrected this grievous situation.

This is my take on turning my husband into an excellent cunnilingust. Communication.  Yes COMMUNICATION is the key and answer to this entire issue. Our sexual experiences didn't take a drastic turn to the better until I started verbally and physically communicating with my husband on what exactly he had to do with his tongue, mouth and fingers to make me orgasm. That was an evolution and an evolution brought on in my case by us going to this FLR lifestyle. I had to get over my aversion to potentially hurting his feelings and I needed to give him play by play game calling as he was in the process of strumming my banjo. Think about it. How does he really know what to do down there? What formal schooling has he had? Most men acquire whatever skill set they have in this area through a trial and error process (mostly error) with a mostly quiet and complacent partner who is not really giving them any real constructive criticism or feedback. As result they mostly make it up as they go along. They develop and ingrain all sorts of bad habits along the way. The end result from that, we don’t get our needed orgasms the vast majority of the time. Its a total fluke when it does occur. As my husband and I became more in depth with the entire FLR lifestyle I lost my sexual and personal passivity. I become outspoken, confident, and assertive. I no longer accepted failure as a routine outcome. I demanded and expected better from him. Men, most men I think, are far more thick skinned about this then us women would believe. Men, like my man, in fact get quite turned on by being explicitly directed and told what to do in this area. Every oral encounter we now have involves me verbally and physically coaching my husband on what he should be doing down there at any given instance of time. That includes today where 99.9% of the time he is able to give me at least one orgasm this way if not two or three. Its completely  routine for me to orgasm today. That was not always the case - not even close. But today I tell him:

"lick harder"

"lick softer"

"stay in that spot and don’t you fricken move until I tell you to"

"suck my clit"

"suck my pussy lips"

"suck on my breasts"

"put your finger in my ass"

"wiggle your finger around"

"lick my ass out"

"lick top to bottom"

"lick bottom to top"

"lick side to side"

"its starting to hurt, move to a different spot"

"keep licking"

"stop for a second until I tell you to start again"

"let me see your caged cock"

"are you dripping right now, let me see it"

"taste it"

"put your tongue in deeper"

"deeper"

"blow on it"

"your blowing to hard"

"pinch my nipples"

"grab my ass"

"etc, etc"

You have to tell him and instruct him while he is actively in his process of delivering the goods. That’s when my husbands oral game went to that next level for us. It continues today. Gone are the days of me laying there and hoping for the best. Once you begin directing him this way, he will slowly learn and pick up his techniques along the way. Good skills not those clumsy ones which he always assumed worked but didn't. As women, we also know that our orgasm isn't quite as easy and repetitive as his. Unlike him where if you stroke the genies bottle long enough, that your guaranteed that the genie is going to pop out eventually, it doesn't work that way for us. We need foreplay prior. Our pussy changes day to day with our mood and excitement. Yesterday a strong lick was the ticket, today its a softer one. Tomorrow its that finger in the ass at the strategic moment. It really does vary day by day with us with what makes us pops goes the weasel. That’s why its important for us as wives and girlfriends to continue the active coaching and feedback with every session. It yields results. Be loud and vocal. In no uncertain terms tell him when he is doing good and when he is doing bad (for sure when he is doing it wrong or its just not working). Grab him by the hair and move his mouth where you need it. Press those knees into the side of his head to encourage him. Encourage him. Paddle his backside with that ridding crop. Give him a quick beat when hes doing something right. Beat him harder when hes getting close. In no ambiguous terms let him know when he is hitting that sweet spot today. Don’t accept failure as an option. My man knows that if he doesn't give me that orgasm, that there will be repercussions. His butt will feel the flame from my paddle or belt. His knees will feel the pain from scrubbing the kitchen floor. He knows, so he performs to expectation. More importantly, once he begins to know what he is doing down there, once he begins to get good at it, he really does begin to take real pride in his work. He WANTS to give you that orgasm, its immensely important to him. It satisfies his ego, his virility, and in my husbands case, it satisfies him sexually. My orgasm is indeed his orgasm these days. He feels it mentally and physically, he gets his own sexual and mental euphoria when I orgasm. Its that important. So once the free flow of communication gets there,  his heart, his mind and his tongue will closely follow. You will start having those orgasms - all of the time, routinely and not fleetingly.

What else helps?

Don’t smell like last years tuna catch down there. Keep it fresh for him. If your going to include in his regimen rimming your ass, give that a quick sudsy finger before you hit the bed. Make it inviting for him, it really helps him and you both. It allows you to relax, it allows him to focus on whats important. Sometimes we do have that sweaty just back from a jog or exercise sex. Fresh out of working in the garden sex. Sometimes that does punch the clock, but usually its a bit more controlled.

At the same time, even for my husband who knows he isn't going to be on the receiving end, insist that he also keeps himself fresh. It doesn't exactly get my juices flowing to have a putrid man in my bed with me. I do like a light manly stink on him. But I don't want BO city. I don’t want crumbs falling out of his ass. Brush those teeth, I don’t want garlic breath on me.  Keep it clean and fresh bud.

Always be vocal in your lovemaking. No one get energized from licking a cold dead fish. Show your energy, show your passion. Cheer him on. Praise him when he makes you cum. Scold him when he doesn't. Show energy and passion, its contagious. He will step his game up when he gets this sort of active encouragement. My man loves it when I talk dirty to him. I love it when I talk dirty to him, it turns me on as well. Get into the game don’t sit passively on the sidelines.

In my particular case. It really turns me on immensely to see him always hot and horny. All of that tease and denial is my foreplay. When I see his cock dripping its pre-cum from excitement, that excites me. It helps get me in the mood. I like seeing his cock straining in its cage. The bulging engorged skin pushing out from between the bars. It tells me he wants and enjoys it. Believe me, this isn't an issue in our house.

I enjoy taking my man. I don’t always wait for bedtime. Frequently, I just grab him by the ear or by his caged package and just push down my pants and tell him to get busy with me standing there right in front of him. What could be or feel more sexy that that? Spontaneity is important and invigorating. Its exciting. Take control, he really wants you to. This will greatly enhance his performance and delivery.

Hope some of these tips helps out. I know that oral sex is a big winner in my house and I really believe that what I wrote above was key for us to achieve that. Enjoy your orgasm.

AJ

This and That #2 (Guest Post by AJ)

Cruel and unusual? ...

As of writing this, he's currently at 147 days since I let him have his last full blown orgasm, so you might have me at “unusual”, especially if you are more of the vanilla mindset. But cruel ?…. I’ll let you be the judge after presenting my case.

Judging by what “I” am reading within the lines and between the lines from his daily journal entries he is in a state of marital nirvana. His mind is in the mental mush land where he enjoys it to be. Every added day of sustained mush is like adding another 1000 slow teasing caresses on his cock with my silky mouth and lips. I think I can best describe his denial as a form of Chinese water torture, but of a very pleasant variety. What's going on in his mind is way way better than what could potentially be going on physically between his legs for those occasional 2 minute sprints if he was still living life as a normal vanilla man and just having his orgasms when ever he felt like it. From witnessing his generally enthusiastic and content everyday behavior in and around the house I have to believe he is no worse for the wear. If he was living some sort of miserable existence, I doubt that it wouldn’t bleed over to all aspects of life both in the bedroom and out of it. You can’t disguise happiness.

From seeing that all important telltale drip coming from his caged cock almost on a nightly basis as he feasts upon my temple of love, I know that he is 1000% enjoying that bucking bronco which is his chastity, orgasm denial, and edging ride. Believe me, as he licks, sucks and caresses my body he is not just going through some sort of expected obligatory motions. He is into it with every fiber of his mind and body. He looks forward every night to the gymnastics which go on in our bed, and his penis never see’s a single lick of attention by and large when that occurs. He is energized!

Ok I think that I would say I can rest my case for him, but what about me? What am I, his loving wife, getting in return for my energy and efforts expended with this… What do I get in return for all of the “lost cock”?  It takes energy and continued creativity on my part to keep his mind in mush land.

As already mentioned, I have a very happy husband. If he’s happy and content that’s a large part of what also makes me feel content and our marriage smooth. As  already mentioned, I have one well tended garden. Enough said.

Additionally, I know from the smile on my own face, having that wonderful freedom of to do as little housework or as much household chores as I choose to do or not do,  is a supreme gift from him to me. Sex is always wonderful, but having him step up to the plate so selflessly and enthusiastically on the domestic side is indeed a treasured gift to me. Honestly, what's not to love as a woman with this situation? I am the pampered sovereign Queen of my Kingdom.

I speak a lot of “his” mind mush with this whole topic. But I also experience my own versions of the same sort of mush. This has really been a development over time for me. It took some time in the lifestyle for this to come to pass and for me to admit to it. When I see him in his teased and tormented bliss, I achieve a huge degree of satisfaction in placing him there. I know that its my confident and determined driving of the marriage which is getting him to that state. There’s always a certain joy in work well done. A certain naughty side of me has surfaced as a direct result of our lifestyle. Its become erotic, its at times wicked, and its certainly sensual many times. It makes me physically wet to tease him to death. There is even a certain level of excitement and eroticism that I feel when I discipline him. Draping a man over your lap and whipping his naked backside with a belt can be strangely satisfying and stimulating.  I can honestly tell you that these are not feelings I experienced previous to our FLR lifestyle but they have become enjoyable elements for me as this has progressed. My mind gets a bit mushy with all of this as well and I think I have developed my own sort of physical and mental need for it. There, I have said it and its on record! I am one truly satisfied and happy wife in all aspects of that definition, and he really is one extremely lucky cowboy to have a bunk on my ranch house! All it took was for me to learn how and when to apply my spurs and to get over my initial fears of digging them in too deep.

The future of his orgasm…

So far he’s only had one of his three guaranteed full blown orgasms this year (our verbal contract so to speak). I think I'm going to save the remainder of his orgasms for his Christmas present. I want us both to experience what the longer haul of denial will bring from him.  He’s holding up well, and I think he has it in him to go a longer distance. We’ve done plenty of half marathons with this so far and I think my little stud is trained and ready for going to his next level. So he's got some time ahead of him yet before he gets to  escape  from Alcatraz (with the nice Wardens help). I think were both up for the challenge and its good to push the boundaries a bit. Asides from all of the positive chemical and physical mojo type stuff being developed by his continued chastity, denial and edging, I think he is also attaching a sort of air of pride in himself for being able to continue his streak. He's really learning through living that while he has given up his physical orgasm up to me, to a large extent for our relationship, he is in return experiencing and feeling so much more by having done that. It a very large net positive for him (and *Me*) and not the opposite. Unless you are a couple actively practicing within this sort of activity (especially long term!!!), its difficult really to visualize this dynamic well, but it really does work if you can make it past those those early teething pains when your playing and experimenting with this life. It has to go through a developing and nurturing  phase where you both learn what works and how (and if). Suddenly when your not looking and are of an open enough mindset to accept it, your own marital nirvana can be right there for the both of you.

His chastity device…

Taking into account some of the past comments made from my chastity device blog post a while back, we've also experimented with a new plastic device for him. We've purchased a Cherry Keeper Short Headlock device for him. That was about 2 months ago. So far we are really liking it as the new alternate plastic device to his gold standard device which is the metal Rigid Half Shell. For kink heightening reasons, that's still our favorite device because of the PA locking device which it incorporates. We had discussed this as equals since it is a physical alteration to his body, and then had him pierced just so we could experience the full benefits of the locking device. We know that's its physically impossible for him to cheat from his lockup with that device since pullout from the back of the device is not possible while it is locked. He can still sneak an  orgasm if he really wanted to, but that's another already covered story and its not going to happen at this point in his submission to my authority. Asides for the anti pullout aspect, we also like the look and heft of a metal device the best, it just conveys an overall attitude of permanence and reality to us both. So that is a real turn on to us both to put it lightly. 

But having said that…  I like to occasionally mix it up for us by having him go to plastic sometimes. There are several good reasons for us to occasionally do that. Its a slightly different look and feel for him when he wears the Cherry Keeper on his cock, and sometimes that comes in handy when he develops those occasional slight irritations on his penis from wearing the Rigid device long term. Switching him temporarily to plastic and to a different device,  allows him to heal up without ruining his chastity cycle by having to go cage free. Also, there are some occasional unique instances which come up where having him wear plastic instead of metal is beneficial, such as airport screenings, potential public event screenings, certain clothing attire etc. One of the biggest reasons probably is that we like to switch him out about once a week for an entire day while we deep clean his Rigid device with my ultrasonic jewellery cleaner. The cleaner doesn’t actually take that long, but throw in some more detailed grooming activity now that his junk has become fully accessible to us both, a long soak in the tub for him, and just to add in healthy allowance for airing him out in a different style of device within a closely supervised environment, it’s then a full day in the Cherry Keeper before I put him back to where we really like to see him. So net effect is that he’s in his Rigid on average 6 days of the week and then in his Cherry Keeper on Sundays, typically speaking.

When he does wear the new Cherry Keeper, he does find that it's very comfortable on him. He had to do some light sanding of it when we first got it to make it that way. Its a 3D printed device so its not totally smooth out of the box when you do get it. We both really like how the head locker portion of this new cage keeps his cock head tightly pressed into the end of the cage and that it also keeps his cock tip in great continuous alignment with the pee opening of the cage. Its a very nice design feature. I don’t know why, but I also kinda find it very hot how his cock head just sort of snaps in there and  clicks into place with the new device. One of our negatives with the Holy Trainer Nub device, our former go to plastic device, was the occasional difficulty he experienced with keeping his pee slit lined up in the rather small end opening of that device - it tended to want to wander off just a tiny bit at times from having that natural alignment. If he didn't take time to adjust himself and/or didn't notice that happening prior to peeing, it would result in him kind of spraying himself down from inside the cage as his stream hit the inside of the plastic. So from a hygiene standpoint it was a bit needy at times. Not a huge deal for me since the cleanup was all my husbands end to take care of, but it did lend to occasional situations where it looked like he had peed himself. A bit embarrassing for him when out in public, and a potential odor issue for us both if he couldn't clean himself up right away. We do not have this issue with the Cherry Keeper, so its a big improvement there and in general, we see it as a measurable improvement over the Nub. The cage opening is considerably larger on the peeing end then the Nub since its more of an open device design and not a closed device design, so we no longer run into this issue which  in hindsight, is rather a large plus. 

With chastity cages your always in a sort of that  perpetual search for the next better mousetrap, and the Cherry Keeper answered our call. We both continue to enjoy his extended wear of locking devices and feel that it greatly heightens both of our states of mutual arousal and definitely one ups our FLR game so to speak. I know its not everyone's thing or need to be locked up, but for this couple, we continue to love the physical and mental effects my husband experiences while wearing a device long term. His PA piercing in particular really brings chastity wear to a completely higher level of kink for us both. I would highly recommend this at least as a 2nd or 3’d look consideration for other couples, perhaps those who are more advanced in this lifestyle choice as we are. Worth an experiment?

Romance and Keeping it fresh.....

A few weeks ago it was my birthday, and my very wonderful husband surprised me with a long weekend getaway trip to the windy city, Chicago. We took Amtrak there and back as we live close enough to one of those rail hubs to do that. I always have loved riding the train, I find it very romantic and somewhat mysterious and nostalgic - I really enjoy it.  Plus no driving and parking especially in a crazy city like Chicago (we're small city folks so were not used to the cramped and busy traffic). Everything we were interested in was a rather a short cab drive away in all directions, so it worked out well for us. BTW, for this trip we used his Cherry Keeper exclusively just to give it an extended test drive and to change things up a bit more. We also weren't quite sure what to expect in terms of the various security screening protocols we might hit at some of the venues we had planned for the trip, so we decided to be safe and not gamble with the metal device and potentially  cause him some embarrassment.  This turned out to be unnecessary also BTW and we didn't run into anything like that, we just weren't real sure what to expect as it had been a while since we had been out and about this way in the big city. (We are oh so small city :).  

On this trip we splurged a bit further and booked a two night stay at one of the nicer more scenic hotels overlooking the Navy Pier area. We are usually pretty frugal with our finances in this regard, so this entire trip was a bit of a special exception for us. But we viewed it as a nice investment in our relationship. We enjoyed a lake view room up on the 22nd floor of the hotel. With the room drapes open it was a magical view out over the lakefront area. I packed a few extra things in my case for this special trip and we both had an extremely fun time. The first day/night I had him give me a full pamper up session in our room before we headed out on the town. He gave me a very nice pedicure and then polished my nails. I love it when he touches and pampers my feet this way. We followed that up by then having him sensually shave my pussy and backside extra smooth up on the large bed. After an appropriate amount of lotion was applied and massaged into my freshly shaved areas, we were ready to hit the city. We took a cab over to the downtown city area, did some touristy walking around, shopping and people gazing and then we had a romantic early dinner at a restaurant where we had a made a reservation at.  Eventually we ended up at Navy Pier for the sights and sounds there. We had a fun ride on their huge lakefront Ferris wheel and then had an scenic excursion on one of their lake boats that we had booked for the occasion earlier. Neither one of us is typically into noise and crowds, but occasionally its a  nice experience, especially when you know its just for a short planned period of time. Navy Pier, the lake, and downtown Chicago was tons of fun.  

Also on this outing …..I wore my nice light mid calf sun dress and sandals (hey I had to show off my fresh pedi) *and* I forgot to wear my panties...... It was a liberating and extremely sensual experience for us both. There’s something extremely wicked and sensuous when you feel the outside air wisping around your mostly bare privates when all that’s covering it is some loose cotton material.  I didn’t let my husband know this until we were already in the cab and on our way to the city. His jaw literally dropped when he found out.  He then was a complete nervous wreck with my "almost nakedness" and was all over himself making sure I was not showing and protected from exposure :). Every time their was a slight gust of wind, he went into a bit of a protective panic. It was cute and fun to see him that way. The whole time out he was just thinking about my cleanly shaved pussy and everything else that goes along with that. It’s a good thing he is kept locked up or he would have also had to worry about himself tenting up in his khaki pants. 

When we both eventually returned to our hotel room much later that night, we were both in quite an aroused state (to put it very mildly)! It of course was dark when we returned and I opened up the large room blinds completely and we both frantically shed out of our clothes. I  had switched the lights off after our getting settled into the room. I then spread myself down naked and extremely wet and horny on the bedspread. We then had sex in our usual way with his head and tongue between my spread open legs. I literally grabbed him by the hair on top of his head and shoved him in there!  I enjoyed three very huge orgasms and just couldn't quite honestly take any more. I was worried I was getting a tad noisy.... After riding my elevator down for a bit, I flipped the tables a bit and gave my husband a nice surprise in return. I had packed my strap-on and favorite dildo for him. With the window shades still fully open and us still in full view of the night sky, I gave his cute little butt the pounding of his life. He then was the one who was worried that he was making too much noise.... 

It was a very very sexy and extremely liberating day and night. I'm still hot just thinking about the whole trip. As a side note, I know this sounds a bit risque and all, but it was very dark and I'm sure that no one really was able to see anything. It was just the illusion of being fully exposed which made it very romantic and off the charts sexy for us both. The remaining nights stay was also fun, adventurous, and full of sex but we dialed it down slightly on that final night. We made the most of our money spent and the locale that we had picked. It would have been very hard to top that first night. We spent some considerable cash which we normally would not have spent - it was like 6 years prior when we had last made a similar trip, and the kids were along for that one - so it wasn't quite the same then, It made for a very nice memory and a wonderful birthday present, well worth the money we spent.

 AJ

Blog Reminders

Guest Posts: You are welcome and encouraged to submit guest posts on topics related to wife led marriage, female led relationships, and female domination in general.  Please make sure your posts are thoughtfully written and spell checked before submitting. Posts can be sent to MzKaylee101@gmail.com. Include a Title with your post and how you want your name to appear.  

Profile Page: I encourage you to complete a profile page, which is a Q&A template about you. Profile pages are in the margin on the right side of the blog. The template is at the top of the list. Simply fill it out and e-mail to MzKaylee101@gmail.com. I also suggest that you read the existing profiles. There is 

a lot of great information and advice in the profiles.  

Erotic stories are also located on the right side of the blog. Feel free to submit a story. I do not edit stories. They are published "as is" so make sure you edit and spell check before you send them. Send your stories to MzKaylee101@gmail.com/  

Comments: Please comment on posts and share your thoughts and experiences. That's how we all learn. It is so important and helpful to hear other peoples experiences and opinions. If you have similar experiences to what has been posted, please share as it validates to others that FLR/WLM is real. On the flip side, I do not expect everyone to agree with me or what others post and I want to hear if you have different thoughts. I enjoy hearing different opinions and I often learn from them. I only require that everyone express their opinions and disagreements in a polite and courteous manner so that we can have meaningful discussions. I also encourage you to respond to other readers comments. It is fantastic when there are multiple dialogues going on in the comments section.  

Enjoy!

-Mz Kaylee 

Follow-up on Taking Ownership in the Bedroom

Once again, I am pleased and impressed with the level of engagement from the followers of this blog. I've enjoyed reading all of the comments from the last post. Your feedback has been helpful in formulating my plan for taking ownership of the master bedroom in my house.

For the door signal, I  think I'll go with a scrunchie or rubber band on the door knob. If it is on the doorknob, he must stay out and sleep in the guest bedroom. It's subtle and easy to implement. I like the idea of locking the door but I have a dog that sleeps in the room and he will often come and go in the room during the night so keeping the door closed at night would not work in my situation.

I appreciate the comment that my slave husband should have some space of his own to display items and pictures that are meaningful to him. I will allow a small space in my bedroom for him to display such things. However, it needs to be neat and clutter-free and anything displayed will require my approval. I chose to have it my bedroom because I do not want the guest bedroom to have any personalization by him or to look like it is his room. Part of the reason for this is to reinforce his submission through restriction of what he can do, and part of the reason is to make this change less noticeable to the kids or guests that may wander into the bedroom.  I also like the idea of putting an item of mine in the room. I can have my things displayed in the guest room but he can not. This is a fun way to remind him that I get to do what I want but he must follow my rules and ask for permission to do things. I've not decided yet what I will display or store in the room, but I will think about it. I may even leave different things in the room on a temporary basis. For example if I go shopping, I may leave my purchases in the guest room until I put them away. 

I may also create some guidelines in which he has permission to enter the bedroom without asking me, such as if I leave for work and he needs to make the bed or if I am not home during the time in which he is supposed to clean my room. However, I will make sure these times will be kept to a minimum. I may require him to text me for permission or to notify me that he is entering the room. These guidelines will likely evolve over time as I see how things go with the change.

I want to emphasize that I am not implementing this to keep Thomas out of the bedroom. He will still sleep in the bedroom at night with me, he will still spend time in the bedroom with me for our typical routines such as ironing my clothes, giving me massages, doing his reviews/discipline sessions, and of course pleasuring me. He will make my bed every morning and will vacuum and dust my room when he does his chores. The amount of time he spends in my room will not significantly change. What is changing is that he must ask permission to enter it or be invited in by me, he may not keep his clothes and other items in my room, and he must follow my rules when he enters. If I am in the room and he wants to enter to ask me a question or to just hang out with me, In most cases I will not deny him entry but it will be fun for us that he will need to ask permission to enter and that he will need to strip naked to enter. I can assure you that these new rules will excite him and that he will have an erection every time he enters the room. The primary purpose for this new change is to add another layer of control and domination to our WLM through restriction of his rights and privileges in the WLM. 

Our WLM is mature, and while many of the things we do may sound extreme to others, they are just part of our every day life. Believe it or not, even a femdom relationship can get stale. To keep things spicy and fun and to keep his submission strong, new levels of control are often needed. This new control that I will be implementing will make him feel even more submissive and beneath me. It will spark excitement and obedience in him. This is what he craves. I will of course also benefits from taking ownership of the bedroom, for all the reasons mentioned in the previous post. The change will hit his submissive nerve, while also benefiting me. Rules and actions in a WLM are more likely to be sustainable over the long-term when they achieve those two results.

Thanks again for your input and it is not too late to share more thoughts and ideas. The kids are sill home from college so it will be several weeks before I make the change.

-Mz Kaylee

Taking Ownership of the Bedroom

In the comments section of the "Submissive Refresh" post there are several comments about bedroom control. Some of you have shared in the past that you/your husband have been required to sleep in a separate bedroom either permanently or on a temporarily basis. There are times where I have made Thomas sleep in the guest bedroom on a temporary basis because I need a good night's sleep or as a punishment. Usually it is just a day or two, and it has not lasted longer than a week. I do not want it to be a permanent thing because I do enjoy sharing the bed with him. He is my husband after all. However, I love the idea of making the master bedroom my bedroom. I've been thinking about the idea and am planning on making it happen.

There seems to be interest in this topic so I thought it would be fun for me to share my thoughts and ideas on what I am thinking about doing and get your input. If you've already done something like this, please share your experiences and ideas, If you have not done it, read along and share ideas on some of the questions I ask below.

Technically the bedroom is already is mine. When he confessed his submission to me, and agreed (or rather pleaded) to a formal WLM, he voluntary gave up his rights to ownership of these things, but there is a big difference in agreeing to it versus me taking action to deny his privileges. So what does taking ownership of the bedroom mean and why would I do it?

My idea of taking ownership of the bedroom is that the master bedroom is 100% mine to do with as I please and hubby is not permitted into the bedroom without my permission. It also means that none of his clothes and possession are permitted in the room. I will allow him to sleep in the bedroom but it is not a right for him. At anytime I may take away the right. I am usually in the bedroom before he is at night so I've thought about putting something on the door knob that would indicate whether or not he is permitted to enter. No permission means he must sleep in the guest bedroom. What do you think - any suggestions for what I can use? It would need to be something subtle as I would not want it to get the attention of guests that may be over or the kids when they are home.

Since he will not be permitted to have any of his possessions in my bedroom, one of the first tasks to be done is for him to move all of his items out of my room and into the guest bedroom. Now if you have a guest bedroom, and you are like us, the guest bedroom tends to get filled with junk. He will need to do some cleaning up and rearranging the guest bedroom in order to fit his items into the room. He may need to slim down his clothing collection. Slaves should not have a lot of clothes to choose from anyway, right?  I may need to give him some specific instructions on reducing his possessions to fit into the space. Any suggestions?

Next, there will be rearranging in my bedroom to accommodate my preferences and moving in of my extra clothes that are stored in other places. As a Goddess, I have quite a collection of clothes but unfortunately not the luxury of a large walk in closet so many of my clothes are stored in other closets. I am looking forward to being able to have all of my clothes together in my bedroom. Thomas will need to organize and hang or fold my clothes neatly according to my instructions. Once complete, he will be required to do a thorough cleaning of the room and will need to make every shred of his items are removed.

This will be the first stage of taking full ownership of the bedroom. To make it fun, I will require Thomas to wear a slave outfit while he is moving items in and out of the bedroom for me. I am thinking collar, cuffs and panties will do. I may add a butt plug because that always puts him in a deep submissive state for me. Once the first stage is complete, the master bedroom will be officially off limits to him except for sleeping, cleaning, chores, or when I give him permission to enter for other reasons. There will be three golden rules for my bedroom that he will have to obey:

1. He is not to enter my bedroom without my permission. Even for chores (vacuum, laundry, etc.) he must ask for permission to enter my bedroom. I love the irony of him asking permission to to clean my room, rather than me ordering him to do it.

2. He is never to be fully clothed in my bedroom. Clothes must be left at the door before entering unless he is already wearing a slave or chore outfit. Those outfits are acceptable attire in my bedroom. No exceptions to this rule. If I ask him to fetch something out of the room for me, he must strip, fetch the item, and dress again when he leaves. 

3. He is never to talk in my bedroom unless I ask him a direct question or give him permission to speak. When he is in my bedroom 100% of his focus will need to be on serving me and pampering me.

Phase II will be for me to redecorate the room according to my tastes. I may get a new bedspread, and add new pictures and decorations. Do you think I should have him shop with me for the items or should I just make all the changes and have him walk in one day to a completely new room? Which would be the bigger mind fuck?

There is one final piece of puzzle to this whole transition. I will make it clear to Thomas that the guest bedroom is to remain a guest bedroom. He is not to personalize it for himself and he is never to refer to it as his room. All his items must be out of site at all times. No shoes or clothes lying around, no bags on the floor, and no papers, receipts, or items of his are allowed on any surface in the room. Everything must be stored in a drawer, box, or closet at all times. If I see any visible signs of his items in the guest bedroom, he will be subject to punishment. This will surely make him feel even more submissive and controlled.

Why Would I do This?

Taking over the master bedroom is purely a fun power play. It is a fun way for me to exert my power and dominance over Thomas and to make him feel even more submissive and owned by me. This is what he craves and I know he will love it. It is a great way to spice things up for us and keep him obedient to me. Certainly I am also going to enjoy having the room all to myself, except for sleeping. It will be a nice peaceful haven that I can escape to and not be disturbed. The best part is that my room will still be cleaned by him, he will still wash and put away my clothes in my room, and my bed will still be made every day by him. These are all the amazing perks of being a Goddess Wife in a WLM.

What do you think? Let's hear some other ideas.

-Mz Kaylee