The New Year's Post

It seems to be a tradition for me to write a New Year's post as a reminder to include your Wife Led Marriage (WLM)/ Female Led Relationship (FLR) in your 2022 goal planning and 2022 resolutions. This is the time of year that many people look forward to the coming year and think about what will they do better and how will they improve as a person. CNN recently shared the top resolutions for 2022. Drum roll please......

• Exercise more
• Eat healthier
• Be a better person
• Save more money
• Spend more time with family
• Get a new job
• Quit smoking

https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2021/12/24/new-years-resolutions-ath-enten-vpx.cnn

Nothing surprising here, is there? These are the typical ones you hear year-after-year. Wouldn't it be great if people thought about resolutions for their marriage?  It's not something I ever thought of until I transitioned to a WLM. One of the fascinating things for me about WLM, is that I am constantly assessing and re-assessing how things are working and looking for ways to make the WLM better (i.e. what can hubby do more of to make my life better :). Maybe not everyone does this, and if you don't, well I highly recommend that you do.

With a new year starting, there is no better time to take a step back and assess how the WLM is going, and then look forward and think about how you want your WLM to be in the next year. If your WLM went off the tracks and fell to the wayside, the New Year is a great excuse to bring it back to the forefront and try it again or revive it. Maybe you  are not in a WLM, but you have been thinking about giving it a try. Now is the time to dive in! And if your WLM is humming along good, there's always room to try new things to keep the marriage exciting and fun. I enjoy trying new things throughout the year or changing up some of the rules and routines. It is fun and it helps keep Thomas motivated to serve me.

For the dominant wife, think about:

• What can I do better to motivate him to obey me and be my ideal submissive husband?
• What can I have him do to make my life better? 
• Added chores, activities, and/or responsibilities
• Better attitude; more listening.
• Being more proactive in serving you
• More pampering
• How can I be more dominant and strict with my husband?
• How can I add more structure to the WLM in a way that caters to his submissive desires while making my life easier?
• What new rituals or routines can I add to increase his devotion to me and improve his performance?

When thinking about these questions and what you want, also think about specific actions you can do to make your resolutions and goals happen. Then set specific goals of how you will improve your WLM and dominance over your husband, and the steps you will take to achieve these goals. It's important to be specific and to identify the steps to achieve your goals. This will increase the probability that you will follow-through on your goals. For example, suppose your overall goal is to be more strict with your husband. If you set that goal and did not think about anything else, you are not likely to achieve the goal because it's very general and you've not identified the action items you need to do to be more strict. A better way to write the goal is: 

I will be more strict with my husband by doing the following:

• Telling him what to do and not asking
• Making a weekly list of tasks for him to complete 
• Providing him feedback immediately when I am not satisfied with his performance
• Disciplining or punishing him when he slacks off or disobeys.
• Holding him to high expectations.

The above goal is specific and contains action items and therefore, sets a clear path for you to achieve the goal, as well as measure how well you are progressing to achieving it. It also important to write your goals down. Those who write their goals down are more likely to achieve them. Writing out your goals also provides a mechanism for you to review your goals regularly so that you stay on target. On a monthly basis, read through your goals to refresh what your plan is and refocus as needed. Finally make sure your goals are achievable. Don't try to do too much at once, or you'll stress yourself out. Think about spreading things out over the year.  I like to break the year up into quarters (every 3 months). If you want to keep it simple set goals for the first half of the year and goals for the second half of the year. Here's an example of quarterly goals:  Q1 (Jan-Mar): Become more strict, Q2 (Apr - Jun): Train him to do the laundry, Q3 (Jul - Sep): By September, he will be able to go 1 month without orgasm, Q4 (Oct - Dec): He will bathe me at least once a week. 

Don't get too worked up if you get off track or if something does not work out the way you planned. It's ok to be flexible and adjust goals if your situation changes. The key is to regularly review your goals and get back on track if you've gone off the rails a bit. Believe me, my WLM has gone off the rails several times in the past. The way I got back on track was to reset and re-establish rules and routines with Thomas. Usually I started with a punishment or tough discipline session with Thomas because that always gets him to refocus. Something I learned over the years is that the sooner you react to issues or challenges, the easier it is to recover and that it is never to late to get back on track. For example, In the goal above, I listed 5 action items. Suppose you started off the year and only did one action item. Don't let that discourage you. That is still progress. Doing one thing is better than doing none. Instead of giving up or beating yourself up over not doing the other four items, keep moving forward with the goal and try to do more.

It is rewarding when you set goals and achieve them, and for the WLM, it has a very positive impact on you and your marriage. Every year, I feel like my WLM progresses to a new and exciting level and that my husband and I grow closer together. When I look back over the years, I am amazed and how far I have come as a dominant wife and how much our marriage has changed for the better. It does not happen by itself. It takes commitment and planning, especially in the early years, but the payoff is well worth it.

Happy New Year!

-Mz Kaylee

The Submissive Sales Pitch

So you want your wife or girlfriend to dominate you...what do you do next? The questions comes up often on my blog, how do I get my wife or girlfriend to dominate me?

The biggest mistake that most guys make when asking their wife to dominate them is to make it all about themselves.  “I want to you to dominate me…..I want you to control my orgasms…..I will do whatever you want.” Guys just assume the wife is going to enjoy dominating them. There are two major problems with this approach: 1) Your wife probably does not know what it means to dominate you, and 2) Most women do not get the same pleasure out of domination that guys get out of being dominated. Therefore there is little motivation for her to want to do it. She may agree to do it initially to appease you or for fun but she will have little reason to make it a regular thing. 

If you are serious about wanting to be submissive to your wife or girlfriend then you have to think about how it will benefit her. What is she going to get out of it? Saying “I will do anything for you” is too generic. Think about specific things that she likes or would enjoy. Also what are things she hates to do or things that make her unhappy? 

Once you make a list of all the likes and dislikes, put some thought into how you can make her life better by giving her more of the things she likes and removing the things she dislikes. This is going to require sacrifice on your part. You are going to have to work for her and give up some of your time to make her happy. You may need to do things you don’t like, such as committing to cleaning the bathroom. However, in return you are going to get the domination you crave. Do you see how this works? It is a bit of a negotiation. You need to make it worth her while and then develop a sales pitch to get her onboard.

What’s even better is to act on your plan before you give her the sales pitch. It’s like the free trial tactic. How many of us have gotten hooked onto something because of trying the free trial? Hulu is one that got me! My husband used this tactic on me and I guess it worked because here we are 20 years later in a full blown WLM. I love to be pampered and so he started offering to give me foot massages at night and he even offered to bathe me. At the time this was very uncharacteristic of him to suggest these things but I certainly loved it. When he finally approached me about being dominate to him, I was not completely surprised because I knew something was up with the way he had been acting. I liked what he was doing so it made it easy for me to agree to take on the domination, knowing that I could get endless pampering from him. 

The second thing my husband did was to provide me with information on how to be dominant. In that first conversation he explained some of it to me and provided me with an article or two to read. A few weeks later he bought me Elise Sutton’s book, ‘Female Domination, An Exploration of the Male Desire for Loving Female Authority.”  This information was helpful for me to understand his submissive desires and to learn how to be dominant. My husband did a good job at presenting me with the right amount of information. It’s a little overwhelming and confusing for women to learn about the concept of domination. I do not recommend that you unload all your submissive desires and kinks all at once or that you give her tons of information to read right away. This could intimidate your wife or girlfriend or even turn her off to the idea. Start off with things that you think will resonate with her and over time work your way up to the more kinkier hard core things. Everyone is different so pay attention to her reactions. Certainly if she is excited about the idea, and is having a blast with domination then you can move at a quicker pace.

It’s also ok to admit that it is a little crazy and that you are not sure why you like it but for some reason it excites you. This honesty can put her at ease. When my husband gave me the articles and book he told me some of it was going to sound extreme and that he was not expecting me to do it all. This helped me be open to reading the information. I know now that he would have easily jumped at the chance to do the extreme stuff but he was smart by holding back and taking baby steps with me because I was not ready to dive right into extreme domination. 

For many women it takes time and learning to understand the benefits of being dominant and how to be dominant. The submissive husband needs to be supportive, patient, and lovingly persistent with his wife as she learns how to be dominant. This is not always easy to do because of the large gap between what the submissive desires and the wife’s inexperience with being dominant. The submissive has spent most of his life fantasizing about being dominated. He has spun up thousands of scenarios in his mind, which have formulated his ideal way to be dominated. Now, enter his wife who is completely new to domination. She may surprise him and totally blow his mind with a night of exciting domination. If that’s the way it plays out then great- you are heading down right path. However there is a good chance her dominance will not live up to the submissive’s expectations. I would guess the first few sessions would be very exciting for the couple because it is new fun. It is when you get past the initial honeymoon phase that the disappointment sets in. That’s when the submissive can easily fall into the trap of constantly criticizing the wife’s dominance and asking her to do more. This can quickly demotivate her.  

Instead of criticizing her or constantly asking her to do more, the submissive should celebrate small achievements in her dominance and encourage her to explore more. For example, if she was strict but not strict enough, sometimes it’s better to say ‘thank you for being strict with me’ rather than saying ‘you should be more strict with me.’ This reassures her that it is ok to be strict and builds her confidence to be more strict in the future. You are celebrating the fact that she took the step to exert control over you.  Give her time to build her confidence. If after awhile she does not change, then have the conversation with her about being more strict. The key point here is to create an environment of support and encouragement instead of constant criticism and asking for more.

Hopefully I’ve given you some ideas on how to inspire your wife to try out the WLM approach. What is your sales pitch going to be? For those of you already in a WLM, if you had to start all over again, what would your sales pitch be? Feel free to share so that others can learn or to get feedback on how it sounds.

-Mz Kaylee 

Guided Masturbation

Guided masturbation is an exciting and fun way to exert dominance over your husband. All boys have spent many years masturbating themselves exactly they way the want in order to achieve self-pleasure and orgasm. To suddenly find themselves standing before you naked and masturbating according to your commands is thrilling for them and as they quickly discover, very challenging. 

There are two simple rules he must follow: 1) Follow your orders exactly and 2) Do not orgasm unless given permission. These two rules force him into a strange new position that will no doubt fuck his mind inside and out until it is mush. He is used to stroking any way he wants with the goal of achieving orgasm but now all the dynamics have changed. He must only stroke as instructed and he must not orgasm unless given permission. During this fun game, he will surely experience moments where he wants to stroke faster and harder because that is what is mind and body are telling him to do in order to increase the pleasure and achieve orgasm. However, he will have to force himself to ignore the pent up pleasure and keep stroking lightly and slowly in order to obey you. He will also experience moments where he will want to slow down or stop because it is becoming harder and harder to hold back an orgasm, but he will need to continue stroking in order to obey you.

There will inevitably come a point where one of the 2 rules will have to be broken. Which will one do you think your subhy husband will break? Will he be weak and selfish and give in to the pleasure or will he disobey your commands and stop stroking or slow his stroking, in order to stop the orgasm?  Breaking rule 1 gives him orgasmic pleasure but results in the game ending and a severe punishment. Breaking rule 2, in order to prevent an orgasm, keeps him in the game but shows his weakness and may result in a punishment. Breaking rule 2 may seem like the wiser choice at first, but as the game goes on and on, how much sexual teasing can he handle? Will he even get an orgasm after enduring all the teasing? 

Are you having trouble following or figuring out the right choice? Imagine these conflicts swirling through your head while in a prolonged and heightened aroused state? That is the wonderful mindfuck that guided masturbation creates. The longer the game goes on, the more mush his mind becomes. He grows more mindless and weaker by the minute!

For a guy new to teasing and denial, guided masturbation is a great training tool to teach him self-control and to build his stamina. For the more experienced guys, it is just a great mind fuck and a fun experience for the wife to exert control and spice things up.

I've learned a few things in doing this with my husband and lucky for you , I am going share some tips, tricks, and strategies to make your guided masturbation session out of this world.

Tips, Tricks, and Advice

1.  First, a few basics: Fast strokes and hard strokes (more pressure around his cock) build his arousal quickly. Slow strokes and light strokes slowly build his arousal or keep him at a steady arousal state. Finally, the tip of his cock is very sensitive when he is aroused. Teasing just the tip can be both pleasurable and frustrating for him.

2. Get him to a heightened arousal state quickly. Guided masturbation becomes very fun and challenging for him, when he is very aroused. Many of the stroking techniques I mention below, are much more pleasurable for him when he is fully aroused.

3. Using a variety of strokes drives him wild. There are some strokes that will feel too good for him and he may only last a few seconds. There are other strokes that he can do for a long time. Some of this will of course depend on his state of arousal. Varying the speed and pressure of his strokes will also affect how long or short he lasts. To keep the game exciting and unpredictable for him, change up the type of strokes or the speed every minute or two.

4. To cum or not to cum? It is your decision as to whether or not you allow him to cum. If you keep your subby locked up, imagine how mind blowing it will be to unlock him, force him to masturbate for you for 20 minutes, then lock him up again with out allowing him to cum.  Allowing him to cum is just as fun. You could give him a count down to cum (4-3-2-1), bring him to the edge and then order him to cum, or test his will an keep him stroking until he can not hold back any longer.  If you are feeling cruel, order him to stop stroking as soon as he starts to orgasm.

5. Enhance the teasing with visual and verbal erotic cues. The words you use while he masturbates and what he sees, all add to his aroused and submissive state. Telling him things like 'good boy' or 'you are so weak' add to his submissive state. Adding 'for me' to your commands (such as "stroke slowly for me"), makes it clear that he is obeying you and not masturbating for himself. Visual cues that add excitement include wearing lingerie or a fetish outfit and playing with yourself while he masturbates. Sometimes I'll lower my top for a minute or two so that he can worship my breasts while he strokes and then I'll cover them back up again.

6. Have a punishment ready for disobedience. You may want to let him know in advance what the punishments will be. I like to make the punishment severe for an unauthorized orgasm and mild for disobeying stroke commands because I absolutely do not want unauthorized orgasms. For example, an orgasm without permission will result in confinement to the house for several weeks (no time with his friends) whereas disobeying a command in order to prevent an orgasm will result in corner time or spanking. Each time he disobeys, the corner time or number of spanks increases. Another option is to keep a paddle handy and if he slows down stroking without permission, give him an immediate spank and tell him how weak he is.

7. To keep yourself from having to constantly give orders or guess when he is about to orgasm, give him goals to achieve such as, stroke until you are hard for me, bring yourself to the edge for me, keep yourself on the edge, or squeeze out precum.

8. Have fun. Don't get caught up in knowing all the different stroking techniques. There are many different ways you can have him stroke and the techniques below are just a few examples. You only need one or two to get started and then just tune into his emotions and arousal and have fun. 

Stroking Techniques

Strokes to get him aroused or to "the edge" quickly

1. The Traditional Stroke-Fast: We all know this one. One fist around his cock, stroking up and down. Order him to do it fast and hard to get his arousal going. If he is already aroused, this will get him to the edge fast and he will be begging to orgasm or begging to to stop so that he does not orgasm.

2. Hand-Over-Hand Down Stroke: My husband usually does not last long at all with this one. He uses both hands for this stroke, but sliding each fist downward only, one at time, one after the other. He continues to do this without pausing, applying firm pressure around his cock with each downward stroke. You can also order him to do this with upward strokes only. The upward strokes are a great variety but does not have as strong as an effect on my husband as the downward strokes. To add more pleasure to this stroke, order him to squeeze the head of his cock at the end of each upward stroke.

3. Two-Hand Stroke: This is the same as the traditional stroke, except he uses both hands at the same time, one fist on top of the other, and moving them up and down together. This causes more coverage of his cock and more pressure around his cock, resulting in more pleasure.

4. Fist Hump:  Just like it sounds, he creates a fist and humps it. Instead of moving his fist up and down his cock, he keeps his fist still and humps it. This works great when he is leaking precum because it lubes up his fist, adding to the pleasure. For me, it is entertaining to watch. My husband usually does not last long at all with the fist hump. When he is begging for relief, I like to make him hump really slow. That drives him wild too. Then I will tell him to loosen his fist a bit so that his cock barely touches his fist when he humps. This really blows his mind because he can last longer and even keep himself close to the edge, but he is also tempted to squeeze his fist a little tighter to increase the pleasure. Another fun strategy I use is to have him hump hard until he begs for relief and then order him to stop, only to order him to hump hard again in about 20 seconds. Each time he starts again, it takes less and less time before he begins to beg for release. 

5. The Hot Dog Twist: This is a fun one. Two hands on his cock and he firmly twists them side-to-side in opposite direction - just like he is wringing out a wet towel. This is one to do when his arousal is heightened. Twisting side-to-side is not a normal feeling for guys and so this technique creates strange new pleasures.

6. Stroke and Ball Squeeze: This technique builds his arousal, but seems to do it at a slower pace then the other techniques. It tend to make his precum leak more, probably because he is squeezing it out of his balls. With this stroke he strokes his cock with one hand while lightly squeezing and rubbing his balls with his other hand. Squeezing and rubbing his balls creates additional pleasure sensations compared to just stroking. To make it even more pleasurable, order him to hump his hand while doing it. To tone down the pleasure, have him just rub his balls without stroking his cock.

Strokes to Maintain or Reduce Arousal

7. Traditional Stroke-Slow:  Same as stroke #1 above, but at a slow pace and/or lighter pressure around his cock. With the right speed and pressure, he can stroke endlessly for you without an orgasm. I've heard this referred to by dominant women, as 'Worship Strokes' because he  can stare at his beautiful wife and worship her body with his eyes while he strokes and stays aroused. There are a few fun ways to use this. You can lay or sit in front of him and be entertained watching him worship you. You can pleasure yourself while he worships you, which will surely add to his excitement but will also be pleasurable for you. You can use this stroke to allow him to calm his arousal down if he is getting to close to the edge. It's also fun to make him stroke extra slow after being aroused for a long time. It is very un-natural for a man to stroke very slow so this can be a torturous tease for them.

8. Fist Pulse: I enjoy doing this technique to him myself. It really messes with his mind and tests his will power when he is on the edge of orgasm. I will make a firm fist around his cock and just squeeze lightly. I will often go right into the squeeze when he's begging me to stop stroking to prevent orgasm. Instead of stopping all together, I just stop the stroking and then lightly squeeze. He is literally teetering on the edge of orgasm when I do this, struggling to hold back his orgasm. I will lightly squeeze every 5 to 10 seconds. Sometimes I am barely even moving my fingers, and it drives him wild.  Even just holding a firm grip around his cock without moving, drives him wild when he is on the edge of orgasm. He tells me the firm pressure with no movement is mind blowing because for a few seconds, the slightest of movements by either him or me, would send him over the edge. He mentally has to fight hard not to move and not to orgasm for several seconds, until he comes off the edge.  For the guided masturbation, he is the one who puts his fist around his cock and you can either order him to squeeze each time or you can order him to pulse his hand every few seconds. You can increase or decrease the speed of the pulses, depending on his arousal level.

9. One or Two Fingers Only: Having him stroke up and down using only one or two fingers is a great way to keep him in a steady aroused state. When using two fingers, you can have him put one on each side of his cock or put two fingers together and rub them up and down the side of his cock.

10. Finger Tips Only: Lightly stroking up and down with just his fingertips, causes a continuous pleasure without taking him over the edge. If he is close to the edge, this is a great torturous tease because he can ride the edge and will have to exert willpower to not go too fast or apply too much pressure in order to prevent the orgasm that his body wants so bad. A variation of this is to have him put all his finger tips at the tip of his cock a slowly spread them out over jus the tip of his cock.

11. Balls Only: Order him to lightly rub or squeeze his balls. This is a good one to help him calm down when his arousal is starting to boil over into a potential orgasm. It feels good for him but is usually not enough to send him over the edge and often times brings his arousal down, but not all the way down.

12. Stop!  When all else fails, order him to stop stroking, hands at his sides or behind his back. Give him a minute or two to calm down and then start the self-teasing all over again.

When to Use Guided Masturbation

For fun and to spice things up - Whether you have a WLM or traditional marriage, guided masturbation is a fun activity for both the husband and wife. Guys will enjoy the prolonged erotic tease and being the center of attention of a woman. It is exciting for women too. I find it exciting to watch my husband masturbate and even more exciting when I am in control of it. It is a thrill to push him to the edge and watch him struggle not to orgasm. When he's super aroused, he loses his ability to think and he becomes focused on his masturbation, following my commands, and trying not to orgasm. It is thrilling for me to see this transformation and to watch him obey my commands without thought. He is not the only one that is aroused during this activity :).

Training - It is a great training exercise for someone starting out in orgasm denial. Guided masturbation trains him to hold back his orgasm or know when to ask for permission to orgasm. He learns to edge himself longer and longer without going over the edge. You may encounter failures in which he fails to hold back his orgasm but with each failure, he learns and becomes stronger. Your are also conditioning him to obey your orders without hesitation.  

For females wanting to take control of their man, guided masturbation can be a good starting point to seduce him under your control. In other words, you are training him to be under your control, without him realizing it. Very few guys will turn down the offer for a guided masturbation session, and once they experience it.....well they are sure to want more. Each sessions gives you a little more control over him. When you are ready to take the next step in controlling him,,,,read the subspace section below.

Get him into Subspace - Use guided masturbation to prep him for domination and manipulation. After 15 or 20 minutes, his arousal will be so heightened that his mind will be complete mush and he won't be able to think straight. This is the perfect conditions for domination and manipulation. It is the time to try new kinky things that he might otherwise resist, or get him to promise to do things for you. If I am in the mood for dominating him, I will often start with a nice long cock tease to get him into the obedient submissive frame of mind. Using guided masturbation is one way to do this. Sometimes it is as simple as ordering him to stroke to the edge for me. Once he does that, let the domination begin!

To Learn - What better way to learn about what drives him wild then to experiment with different stroking techniques. Try all different strokes and observe how it affects him. Ask him how each one feels. The best thing about all this, is that you can learn from this and then you can use the stroking techniques on him another time (instead of him stroking). Your strokes will be even more torturous for him because he can not control the speed and pressure. I have learned that the same stroke technique can have varying effects on him depending on how aroused he is and his mood. Be sure to try the techniques more than once as you may get a different reaction sometimes.

I hope you learned a few thigs from this post. If you decide to give it a try, let me know how it goes, and what strokes worked the best.

-Mz Kaylee

 

Submissive Daze

I've learned a lot about the submissive mind over the years. I've become quite good at understanding how to push my husband's hot buttons, knowing what things drive him wild, and anticipating how he will react to various things. Like a well trained Ferrari driver, I can take his arousal from 0 to 60 in seconds and hold him there without letting him spin out of control. Controlling him and getting him to do what I want is second nature to me now. While I may know how to do all this, I still find the submissive mind to be a mystery. The biggest mystery being 'why does he react the way he does? Why does being forced to wear panties turn him into an aroused and docile heap of clay that I can mold any way I want? Why does ordering him to kneel at my feet easily send him into a submissive spiral? I know what these things do to him, but the 'why' is a mystery.  

I'd like to share an excerpt from an e-mail I received from Mary, whom I correspond with regularly. Her e-mail spurred my thoughts in this post. I completely relate to what she describes below, as I experience the same with my husband.

"There is this "thing" it seems. I guess the only way I can say it is the more I demand of him the more he seems to need/desire/attend to me in some weird way. I cannot quite describe this. Sometimes I am a bit tough on him in terms of "chores and tasks". All I can say is it "does something" to him when I am demanding or give him a lot of direction and demands. It is like it "orients him to me" or something. Like the more I direct him the more he needs me or desires me. I know he has a drive to me in general and is very drawn to me sexually - that has always been but "something happens" in this when I demand things or "calmly direct him". It is hard to describe but I totally, totally feel it. 

This is an example. The other night was a nothing night and we were just watching TV. I was going to take a hot shower before bed (I like that!) and it crossed my mind to have him clean the bathroom. At first to be honest I was just thinking of telling him to get out my towels and robe - that is all. But I thought about it and thought it would be nice to have a sparkling bathroom. It was not what you would call "dirty" just not "sparkly". I tend to give him his chores or errands in morning or first thing in general and lay off more in evening unless it is something smaller or personal for me - get me snack or something. But I had him clean (really scrub!) the whole bathroom at about 10pm at night. I kept watching TV while he spent about a half hour or more doing that and then getting my things out. Kaylee, I honestly cannot quite describe it. I think it excites him to task for me but it is more than that. I think it also calms him or something? Is it "not having to think"? Just "do as told"?"

Mary touches on a few of the submissive mysteries. What I find commendable about Mary's example is that on a whim she challenged the norm and exerted strict control and high standards to a simple task in order to tap into her husband’s  submission. This is not easy to do for many women, because it doe not seem intuitive or right. However, when exploring domination, the best way to learn and grow is to step out of your comfort zone and explore the mysteries. For me, part of the thrill of domination, is seeing the mysterious reactions in my husband. It is exciting to push his submissive buttons and know that I am going to have an emotional and erotic impact on him. Perhaps knowing the 'why' is not important. After all, we never think about why the car goes. We just press the pedal and know it is going to go and that is what's most useful to us.

-Mz Kaylee

Guest Post: The Perfectly Kissed Foot (by Onewhoadores)

There is nothing to those so connected and committed … so precious and

pure … as the most reverent and sacred kiss of a foot. It embodies all that is

essential and right, not only of egoless worship, but also unabashed adoration.

Bent forward and down, lips softly caress the bare and flawless top, just before

exquisite toes. They linger there as long as allowed, savoring the sublime scent

and taste, before a subtle bob silently commands them onward. They slowly

traverse the length and breath, inspiring above ever increasing tingles of power

and sovereignty … along the side, around the heel, to the arch and then the sole,

finally coming once again, now to the bottoms of those most divine toes. With

great beneficence, permission is granted to fully lave and even suckle each of the

five, taking abundant time and care to gently draw them individually within, for

the ardent adulation their majesty so unreservedly deserves.

The all encompassing thrill is incandescent.

There are so many other directed orgasmic delights that are always

thoroughly enjoyed. But none can ever match the blissfully transcendent joy of

The Perfectly Kissed Foot, and all that it signifies and acknowledges …

The total acceptance and boundless love … Above, and below … of this

mutually chosen … and cherished … ineffable realm …

Of Life Defining Devotion.

Onewhodadores

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to pause from the day-to-day activities, take a step back and appreciate the good things in life.  For the dominant wife, it is an opportune time to show off your well-trained husband in front of your family and friends. This does not have to be done in an aggressive or overt way, although some of you may enjoy the public display of control. Actions speak louder than words. The well-trained husband will serve his wife and guests, with particular attention to the women, without being told. He will clean this house in preparation for guests, set the table, clean the table, and do the dishes. He will give special attention to the female guests, ensuring they have drinks, clearing away their trash, and complimenting them. When talking, he will show interest in them and not talk about himself. Guys, are you taking notes? Ask your wife today how you can help her for Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving day be sure to be on your best behavior and an excellent servant, without being told. Be 100% focused on serving others and making their day better. Even if Thanksgiving is not at your house, you should jump in and help the host and keep your day focused on serving others and appreciating them. In doing all this, without being told, your service and dedication will be noticed and you will make your wife proud.   

It also a time to be thankful for your wife and honor her. Be sure to thank her for everything she does for you, your children, and others. I challenge you to be genuine and sincere in your thanks and appreciation of her and not make it about your submission. I also challenge you to compliment her and show your appreciation of her in front of others.

In closing, I will share an inspirational lesson called "The Black Spot." Special thanks to WL Husband, who shared this in his comments in the "Topic Ideas" post.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9zv79fY4A4

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

-Mz Kaylee

The Morning Routine

How your day starts often sets the tone for the rest of your day. If you have a very positive experience in the morning, it can energize you and put you in a great mood for the rest of the day. Likewise, a bad experience can ruin your day and make you feel miserable. Most people tend to create morning routines to start the day, especially during the work week. This helps with getting to work on time, being productive, and not forgetting things. Some people, like me have the quick and easy routing of waking up at the same time every morning, getting dressed, drinking the first cup of coffee, eating breakfast, and heading out to work.  Others will get up early and exercise or meditate, or just spend time relaxing before starting their day.

In the WLM, morning routines or rituals are a great way to focus the submissive husband on his purpose of serving the wife and are great for energizing and empowering the Goddess Wife. With many people still working form home as a result of the pandemic, now is a perfect time to create or enhance morning routines or rituals. As noted above, my routine is pretty straight forward and rigid. I do not work from home and I like my sleep so I've got my routine down to a science so that I can get up and out the door in less than an hour and half. This is partly possible because of my husband's morning routine. He works for home and so has some additional time in the morning. However, instead of sleeping in, he is required to get up when I do and have my coffee and breakfast ready and my work bag in the car, by the time I am dressed and ready to go. If it is cold out, he will start the car for me so that it warms up and if there is snow, he will clear it off for me. Part of his routine also involves emptying the dishwasher before he starts his work day. My husband also likes to exercise in the morning so he has to hustle to do everything for me and empty the dishwasher so that he has time to exercise and be ready for work.

I absolutely love coming downstairs and having everything ready to go and a warm car waiting. It is a wonderful way for me to start the day. For him, his first 30 - 40 minutes of the day are completely focused on doing things for me. I love that he is barefoot and in a nothing but a robe when doing all this. This morning routines is a daily reinforcement that his duty in our marriage is to serve me and it helps put him in submissive mode at the beginning of each day. It also make me feel special to have him serving me like that.

In the comments section of the Devotion post from last month, a few people have shared morning routines. I've shown their comments below. These examples incorporate ritual aspects such as kissing and reciting mantras. Formal daily rituals and mantras are excellent ways to keep the husband in submissive mode and focused on serving his wife during the day.

 From sub hub:

Our morning rituals, aside from the expected retrieval of her coffee and loving good morning kisses when first wakes, is assisting her in getting into her panties. I stand before her and she is completely naked. She chooses the panties she will wearing for the day, hands them to me and I kneel, holding them open so she can easily insert each foot. I them tenderly pull them and before putting them in them in their proper place, I kiss her vagina several times, thank for being allowed to serve her, then pull them in place. Then, that hug from my kneeling position gives me the "juice" I need to begin my day.

Right after that, I start her car, gather the things I have been told she needs to go with her, escort her to her car in the garage, tell her I love her, and ask (required to every day) and if there are any instructions for for the day. They could be anything to domestic chores, to wearing panties or a plug, and now.

It's a beautiful way for us to start our day.

From Anonymous

Every morning after I drop off the kids, I come back to our bedroom to do my devotion. This entails 2 primary acts in bed. The first is me covering her pussy area with loving kisses. No insertion or licking is involved. She lays in bed while my face is in between her legs. At her prompting, she would turn around and then I would kiss her ass cheeks before rimming her, which is my 2nd act. I caress her body while rimming her, and she can feel my adoration. She decides when I should finish but usually the whole process is about 5 min or less. We then hug with my head tucked below her neck and I tell her how much I adore her, that I live to be owned and used by her, that my only purpose is to worship her and to make her happy. Then we discuss our plans for the day before I get out of bed and kneel by the bedside. She sits on the side with her feet dangling and I take each foot and thoroughly kiss the bottom of each foot and caress them on my face. I then hold her soles against my chest and, while kneeling in front of her, recite: Thank you Goddess for owning me and training me. I am grateful for the opportunity to be owned and to serve you and to please you. That is my purpose in life. I promise to be a good slave for you for the rest of my life and to obey and worship you at all times so that I continue to have the privilege to kneel in front of you every morning with your feet on my heart, to kiss the bottom of your feet, to adore your pussy every morning, to be on-demand pussy worshipper whenever you wish, and to rim your ass every morning to demonstrate my submission. I then put on her sandals for her and then give her pussy a gentle kiss. She stands up and turns around and I give her behind a final kiss.

Final Thoughts

I would enjoy hearing about other morning routines. Please share in the comments what routines or rituals you do in the morning and how do they make your feel/how do they help you start off the day right. 

-Mz Kaylee

Is The 24/7 Wife Led Marriage Lifestyle Possible?

Several of the topic suggestions from my last post were related to the 24/7 Wife Led Marriage (WLM) lifestyle and how it works. There are many facets to the lifestyle and addressing them all in one post is not possible. My blog is a good resource for learning about the lifestyle so if you are interested in how it works, then it is worth your time to go back and read the older posts. In this post I will touch on some of the key aspects. For many of you a WLM is a fantasy and may seem like it could never be reality. Others may view WLM as crazy and not realistic. I absolutely can relate, because I remember reading about the lifestyle when I was younger and thinking the same things. I am here now to tell you it is possible and it is very practical. When both partners are committed to the WLM it is an excellent form of marriage that encourages communication, reduces conflict, and creates and strong emotional bond between husband and wife. I have experienced all of those benefits and many of the readers of this blog have also expressed that they have experienced the same benefits in their WLM. 

When I take a step back and look at what goes on in my WLM, it seems very crazy. 10 years ago, I would have never guessed that I would be punishing my husband, controlling when he can orgasm, making him wear panties, sending him to the corner, and expecting him to do almost all the chores. I would have never imagined that I would be getting massages from him several time a week, and that he would be giving me baths and fetching things for me without question or hesitation. 10 years ago, that all seemed like extreme domination and fantasy to me. Fast forward to today and when I am in the moment it feels so normal to me and it works very well for us. Our marriage is strong and we are having a ton of fun together. Now I could not imagine going back to the "vanilla" lifestyle. 

The 24/7 WLM lifestyle is most definitely possible but it requires commitment from both the husband and wife. Everything is not going to suddenly fall into place and work perfectly, when you both decide you want to do it. Establishing the WLM is easy; getting it to the point where things are humming along great is a journey with many ups and downs and twists and turns. At least that has been my experience. Like most new things you try in life, it takes time, experience, and trail and error to get comfortable with it and good at it. For example, most people are not going to be able to pick up a golf club and hit the ball straight and far right away. Their first game of golf will probably be terrible. Some people may learn quickly and love the game right away. Many others will take several years to get good at it, and may even get frustrated and give it up a few times along the way and then come back to it later. However, once they hit that perfect shot for the first time, there is great joy, and when they start to see their balls going straighter more often, their confidence builds and there is motivation to keep playing. You can expect similar experiences and emotions when building a WLM.

The Day-to-Day Life in a  24/7 WLM

The daily life of a WLM can vary significantly from couple-to-couple. It largely depends on how the wife wants to lead the relationship and how committed the husband is to making it work. Other variables such as, the maturity of the relationship, whether there are kids in the house, and work/family demands, affect how the WLM operates. My WLM certainly has changed over time and is much different now then when I first started.

The WLM lifestyle for most people is not about the wife exerting extreme control over the husband every day. She is not dressing in leather every day or forcing him to be naked and collared all of the time. She is not barking orders at him 24/7 and constantly punishing him. Perhaps some people live like that but the vast majority of us can not feasibly live like that and do not want that everyday. It is tiring and non-productive.  The key to the long-term WLM, is to blend the control and submissive aspects into every day life. I've written more about this in my post "Creating a Productive Environment for YourSubmissive:" https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/1938012059034696763/5367148811547645825

For the lifestyle to be sustainable, there also needs to be commitment from the husband to serve, obey, and yield to his wife's authority. If he is not willingly yielding to her and accepting her authority over him, even when he does not agree or like the outcome, then it create un-needed tension that strains the relationship. Likewise. the wife needs to be committed to leading the marriage in the best interest of the couple. This means taking into consideration the husband's needs and desires when making decisions. The wife also has the responsibility of actively leading the WLM by setting clear expectations for the husband, implementing rules and routines for him, monitoring his performance, incorporating regular discipline and rewards for him, and if needed punishment to hold him accountable. A successful WLM takes effort and sacrifice to be sustainable. It does not just happen on its own. 

Benefits of WLM

The good news is that when both spouses are committed and fully engaged in the WLM principles, there are many benefits. The marriage becomes stronger, the couple grows closer together, there is better communication and less conflicts, and their happiness increases. Another fantastic benefit is that the house is always clean! For the wife, the effort she puts into leading, results in a much higher standard of living, She is being served and pampered and does not have to be bothered with boring mundane tasks and chores. She gets pleasured whenever and however she wants and sex and foreplay are primarily focused on her. Perhaps the biggest benefit of all, is that she gets what she wants and lives like a Queen and Goddess. If you are a female that is just starting out in the lifestyle, you may not be experiencing all these benefits yet, but over time with proper training and discipline of your husband, you will get there.

The husband benefits by getting to live out his submissive fantasy in real life, which helps to satisfy his submissive craving. His submission toward his wife also creates a sense of fulfillment and purpose within, which makes the experience incredibly rewarding and satisfying. It is a much deeper satisfaction than engaging in pornography or with a dominatrix or online mistress. An unexpected benefit that my husband has mentioned, is that he feels like a more productive person because of all that he accomplishes through obeying me. The WLM can also reduce stress and improve the overall well-being of the husband because submissive individuals thrive in environments where there are clear expectations and they are told what to do. Finally, even though the submissive may be denied orgasm regularly, his sex life becomes better and more active in a WLM. This is because he learns to experience pleasure in new ways. Those who discover the pleasure of being teased and denied, experience an entirely new level of arousal, and often prefer denial over orgasm. His sex life also improves because the wife learns to incorporate more teasing and sexual motivators into the marriage. 

Making it Work

Just like other relationships, the WLM takes effort and sacrifice to make it work. There could be days or even weeks where there is no overt domination. However, those days and weeks are filled with subtle domination and lots of expectations and rules. Every day, the submissive operates within these rules and expectations with the intent to please his wife. He knows that he will be held accountable if he does not follow the rules or meet expectations. Contrary to what many may think, the husband makes decisions in a WLM. It is not practical or convenient to restrict decisions. However, his decision-making is done with his wife's needs, desires, and expectations in mind. Poor decisions or inappropriate decision- making are subject to punishment or discipline. When presented with a decision, it is incumbent on the husband to exercise common sense in determining which decisions he has authority to make and which decisions need the approval of his wife or should be referred to his wife. He also understands that his wife has the final say in all decisions, regardless of his opinion, and he willingly accepts this and yields to her.

The WLM incorporate non-traditional methods such as orgasm control, punishment, rewards, discipline, training, and sexual domination. Those are some examples. There are many more approaches that are effective for a WLM and not all couples will employ all strategies. As noted earlier in the post, different approaches appeal to different people and you should use what works best for your relationship. The non-traditional methods are important strategies that teach the husband how to properly serve his wife, motivate the husband to serve and please her, and deter him from bad habits and bad behavior. These strategies should exist in both new and mature WLMs. I also encourage females to delve into the more fun and kinky aspects of female domination as these can be mind blowing experiences and great motivators for the husband. Surprisingly, a few of the kinky experiences with my husband have been the most intimate and "soul connecting" moments with him. I know I am not alone in experiencing this. Over the years, many readers have shared similar experiences with me. Hopefully this is enough to convince some of you to let your inhibitions go and try something kinky and fun.

To sum it all up, the 24/7 WLM is sustainable over the long-term when both wife and husband are committed to making it work, incorporate the dynamic into their day-to-day life, and find the right balance of control and domination that works for them. If you are thinking about a WLM or new to it, I want you to know that it is a fantastic lifestyle. It takes a lot of effort, communication, and trial and error to get it running smoothly, but once you get there, it is fantastic! I will also add that the journey to get there is an amazing learning experience that helps you both grow as individuals. 

-Mz Kaylee

The Good Devoted Slave

 

The good devoted slave is one who does was he is supposed to do when his Goddess Wife is not looking, one who corrects her mistakes without letting her know, and one who actively seeks ways to please her without being told.

BLOG UPDATE: New section added for erotic stories

It is fun to fantasize and imagine what could be, even though it may never be...or who knows maybe your fantasies will come true. In the spirit of this fun, I have added a new section to my blog for erotic stories.  Just look to the menus on the right, page down, and you will see it.

Thank you to "Onewhoadores" for being the first contributor to this section. If you would like to submit an erotic story, send it to mzkaylee101@gmail.com and let me know what name you would like it published under.

Please note that I will not be editing stories. They will be published "as-is" so take the time to spell check, format, and edit your submission prior to sending to me.

This is a blog about wife led marriage, female led relationships, and female domination, and therefore, stories should fit within those themes. Stories, counter to those themes or off-topic will not be published. Stories that are inappropriate or that I deem offensive will not be published (e.g. no stories involving kids, incest, etc.).

I look forward to others submitting erotic stories and I hope that it brings a fun new dynamic to the blog.

-MzKaylee.

Non kink based reasons for implementing FLR based techniques in your loving relationship (Guest post by AJ)

There are many reasons why women involved in an female led relationship may incorporate tools into the relationship such as orgasm management, chastity, pegging, and discipline. Most of those reasons I’ve already detailed in some of my previous posts on this site, and those previously discussed items revolve around enhancing sexual and domestic enjoyment for both partners in the relationship. What I have not touched upon in those previous posts are some additional, not widely discussed, more practical reasons why the female partner and for that matter also the male partner, may find benefit from using these FLR practices.

As we all know many men, particularly those of middle aged years and beyond, but also surprisingly large numbers of younger men, experience various issues with their penis’s. These issues can range from premature ejaculation, retarded ejaculation, as well as erectile dysfunction issues. I think men have it very difficult in this regard as they have these big (or not so big:) ) bulky physical appendages which are so out there for all to see during sex. When they have performance issues of any type, particularly with ED but also with premature ejaculation, it's all too quickly and obviously evident to us women - and to them. There are all sorts of reasons for these issues both physical and mental and it can really become a serious source of relationship angst for any couple. Some men also find it very difficult to orgasm, especially from PIV sex, which can lead to problems as well. Speaking from a woman's perspective, I feel that frequently, but not always obviously (there are multiple causes for these issues and many are very complex and some are completely and truly out of his control) a fair portion of these penile issues are self induced by a man and stem from his own self abuse issues, i.e. frequent masturbation and over indulgence in various porn imagery. When a man gets used to frequently choking his own chicken so to speak, he very often uses a death type grip on his penis which long term serves to desensitize his penis to the more delicate PIV sensations he requires for partner sex, leading to his inability to ejaculate when inside us. This can be an issue if the woman doesn't really want to engage in sex or does not enjoy long bouts of sex. All of that prolonged in and out friction as he attempts to orgasm can cause us some pretty intense pain and irritation. 

Similarly, if a man conditions himself to viewing certain kinds of porn while masturbating or leading up to his masturbation, he also can condition himself in such a way where without that imagery present in his eyes and mind, i.e. when making love to his woman instead of to the computer screen, he can also not experience all of the mental and visual stimulation that he has conditioned his body to expect for his orgasm to occur in a timely manner. When he over indulges in self pleasure he also depletes his supply of ready semen as well as throws his whole sexual hormonal balance completely out of whack. So his desire for sex may greatly diminish as result. Frequent masturbation can also lead to the reverse condition as well, premature ejaculation. He so frequently over stimulates himself that he trains himself to be on hair trigger for his orgasms. As result us women begin to experience more of the wham bam thank you mam variety of sex. He gets off but we never do. Over indulgence in porn and “self jackery” can also cause situations where he is just no longer finding himself stimulated enough in his mind to enjoy normal partner based sex and he can no longer get it up for us as result. 

Again there are many other valid psychological and physical issues which may account for these performance related issues in your man, but a fair percentage of them, I feel can be self induced by his own personal behavior. Diet and exercise, controllable items in his domain, can also play large factor in these types of issues. Obviously if we in an FLR employ tools such as orgasm management and chastity we can curtail much of this self destructive behavior and correct much of these self induced issues for the betterment of both parties in the relationship. These are the aspects of orgasm control and chastity which I have previously posted about. Regardless of whether or not the source of his issues are self made or completely out of his control, FLR tools can come to the rescue of your sexual relationship. This is what I intend to be the real intent of this post today. If partner sex is going to frequently lead to frustrations of ED and ejaculatory issues, both partners experience that pain and frustration, not just the man. The loving partner sex act then suffers greatly as result. I think subconsciously many couples may begin to dread sex because of the inevitability of these issues coming up during sex, so sex becomes, to speak candidly, more trouble than it may be worth. As a wife, it pains me to see the emotional torment and distraught that he may experience when he incurs these various issues during our love making. Take my own sexual satisfaction completely out of the picture with that. So there is all sorts of very real mental and relationship issues experienced by both man and partner when these matters routinely crop up in your love making.

How to remedy his performance issues? The very simple and shockingly “no shit” answer to this whole dilemma is to take away his ability (very largely) to use his penis during sex,  ever. It really is that simple of a solution!

Outside of all of the more kink based FLR reasons we usually think of when it comes to restricting his use of his own penis, this straight forward approach gives him and you a simple and foolproof OUT to not willingly experience his performance based issues in the future. He no longer has to feel guilty or mentally tormented by having these issues flaunted in his face every time you have sex. He can instead say psychologically, I am not being allowed to have an erection or experience an orgasm today because my partner is in complete sexual control of me today and that is not what she wants today. I am either being told no orgasm today (through chastity or not), or my penis is not at all being put in play for today’s sexual activities, so its not my fault or in my control, its totally her decision and will that I am bending to.  I’m going to be more than happy in just pleasuring her with either my mouth, my fingers or some other tool of her choosing, but not my penis. Believe it or not this simple fact or truth can be so immensely liberating to him as a man. He does not have to worry about performing that day or the next. He knows he wont then suffer the angst of not coming through for you. Similarly this is also a huge relief to us as women as we can skip the whole episode of “yup it happened again, lets clean up and just go back to sleep”. By simply saying to your man “NO PENIS” during our sex tonight, you are freeing him from this overwhelming performance responsibility he may be experiencing. But also in so doing you are also reconditioning him to experience sex in ways much more beneficial both to himself and yourself by doing that, and that is even more important as it truly will improve the sex for both partners despite him having these issues. When you take control of your mans ability to orgasm, his frequency or orgasm, or his ability to manipulate his penis at his own whim whenever he feels like it, you are setting him up for success. You are doing him a huge favor as well as one for yourself. Your love making will improve 10 fold I guarantee it. He will begin to experience sex as something which he primarily does to satisfy his partner, without thinking of himself first. His enjoyment in sex will really come down to his developing ability to bring you to complete sexual satisfaction and orgasm every time you partake. In my marriage this is almost nightly. With time, surprisingly little time, he will really experience immense self sexual enjoyment and fulfillment in simply pleasuring you. Your orgasm becomes his ultimate victory and his sense of manly pride soars as well as it becomes his own pseudo source of orgasm. By my husbands own words, he experiences a huge uplift knowing that his technique and skills brought it about.  He experiences a complete sense of physical and psychological nirvana which greatly surpass those he previously experienced when he himself was allowed to orgasm. His penis never leaves his cage when all of this occurs! It really is amazing to the both of us as to how unneeded his penis has become in our love making and how neither one of us really miss it at all in our love making. We both experience sexual and pure mental bliss without it ever coming out to play. Amazing!

By rationing and severely limiting his ability to self play as well as partner play with his penis, you are reconditioning him both mentally, as described above, as well as physically. By restricting his self touch and your touch to his penis you are making it far more sensitive to your (not his) controlled sexual stimulus and when it really counts. When you decide its time for him to come out and play, when you think he is ready AND ABLE. When you think he is deserving of that extra special treat. He is much more likely to perform physically with his penis to both your and his sexual satisfaction as result of this rationing and reconditioning. More importantly, if he does have a re-occurrence of his old issues, and with age related penile issues in particular there is still a good likelihood of that happening despite your best of care, its no longer a big deal! The number of times a year that this potentially is likely to happen will be so few. Due to your rationing of his penis's use, this won't become that mental hang up point that it once was for the both of you. It's no longer constantly on his mind and its no longer constantly disrupting your sexual experiences. By following this controlled technique, it becomes a much more manageable issue for the both of you if and when it re-occurs.

“Honey I know its still a problem and I’m sorry it happened again, but really its not that big of a deal, we have something much better going on right now for the both of us anyhow. Go get cleaned up and lets get your cage back on”.

And then just as suddenly your back to what works and feels best for the both of you for another long stretch of time. The problem is really solved this simply. Your man does not suffer and in fact his sexual satisfaction is greatly increased by employing these techniques.  Your man's frequency and your frequency of enjoyable sex will actually drastically increase following these techniques. So instead of having this relatively small number of sexual encounters which frequently end in utter disappointment for both partners, you go to this new sex which has many more occurrences, possibly even nightly if the woman desires it.  Sex where both partners are receiving highly satisfying and pleasurable stimulation. As the woman becomes to experience more and more successful instances of orgasm and/or just plain pleasure as direct result of training her husband in his sexual techniques, her desire for sex is very likely to go up. Following FLR principles your man will become much more receptive to receiving your critique of his sexual performance, and you will be able to direct him much more compliantly in those sexual activities (the proper use of his tongue, his fingers, those penetrative toys) which you find enjoyable and which result in orgasm or pleasure for you. You are re-training his sexual techniques to work for you. 

By increasing the number of pleasurable instances of sex for the woman, you are also building his confidence back up. You are making him feel successful and fully capable again with sex. He will take great pleasure in being able to satisfy you. Men are goal driven, men also respond extremely well with visual stimulation (that's a large part of why they watch so much porn), so by presenting him with this plethora of highly successful sexual activity in which he plays the leading role, you are also driving down his need and desire for porn based activities. You become his porn, and believe me you will be able to get as much sexual attention from him that you desire. This may sound worrying to a woman who is used to getting unsatisfying sex, but through these techniques a woman will find that the physical nature of sex can become extremely nice and something to look forward to. As both of you evolve in your love making, FLR style, I believe that both partners will become highly satiated with the frequency, QUALITY, and duration of sex - I know I did. Sex becomes something which you look forward to and not something which you view with apprehension and possibly dread. So its a big win for him and a huge win for her.

As your FLR evolves, you can also institute other advanced techniques into your love making. Other means of providing him with some direct physical stimulation which does not involve his problematic penis. By this I mean pegging. When you take away his ability to focus 100% of his physical pleasure on his penis, you open up a whole new realm of possibilities for both him and you. You may be surprised as to how quickly your man can become reconditioned to achieve large physical pleasure when that attention is focused to his butt and prostate. He will evolve to greatly enjoy the wonderful and pleasurable sensations you can provide him through back door activity. You are providing him with a very viable and alternate means to achieve physical sexual satisfaction, and he will love you for this. Again thinking out of the box. Making things work and wonderful when certain other things no longer work so well and aren't quite so wonderful. Sex does not need to begin or end or anything else with his penis in the equation. Don’t get hung up on performance issues and work around them, you may very well learn that when all is said and done nothing is really being given up but there is something truly being gained! I know that in my marriage our sex has never been better for the both of us. FLR and the tools of FLR not only provide us with this huge physical benefit but so many others. Our domestic life is so much better and satisfying. I have covered these other FLR benefits in previous posts. But bottom go away thought for this post, there is more to controlling his cock than meets the eye. Its not just kink! Enjoy.

-AJ

Topic Ideas?

 ?

I have written about so many topics related to Wife Led Marriage over the last few years. I am honestly running out of ideas of things to post.  What are some topics that you all would like to hear about?

I would love to pose a question to everyone and have people submit opinion posts providing different view points to answer the question.  What are some good questions that can be posed that would generate a good discussion and different opinions?

WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT?

There are several great insights found in Evan's profile, which I recently published in the profile pages of my blog.  One item that I'd like to mention is the sentence highlighted below in purple. 

How have things evolved or changed with you and as a couple in your WLM/FLR over time since starting the WLM/FLR? How does this compare to how you were prior to the WLM/FLR?

Worlds better. Instead of constantly complaining about what I wish I could have, I've learned to accept my role with joy and humility. Earlier, she would try to accommodate me by giving me what I thought I wanted, but eventually she figured out that what I really wanted was to be forced to do whatever *she* wanted.

This is a challenge for many couples new to WLM. Notice that there are two distinct issues embedded in Evan's statement: 1) the wife catering solely to his submissive desires, and 2) the "what I thought I wanted" issue. So many guys think they know what they want when it comes to domination and submission, but really do not understand what exactly they want or need. It is quite a dilemma because when you think you know it all, it becomes very difficult to see the truth and change. The end result of not figuring out the right path, is that submission is unfulfilling to the husband (he's constantly searching for the next "fix") and the wife becomes tired and disengaged.

Evan is very fortunate that both he and his wife figured out that him serving her needs and desires is the true path to happiness and fulfillment in a WLM.

Thoughts?

-Mz Kaylee

House Husband

When I came downstairs in the morning, there was Thomas, in the kitchen, barefoot and in his robe, wiping down the counter. My coffee and breakfast were made and both were packed in "to-go" containers sitting next to my lunch bag- all ready for me to take to work. He had already loaded my work bag into my car. He greeted me with a cheerful "good morning Goddess." How wonderful for me. He is so well trained. This is how my week day mornings start every day.

I couldn't help but think of how much Thomas is like the 1950s housewife. He is my housewife....err...I mean house husband. Except that I think the house husband is an improvement over the housewife.  Who say men can not do chores? They just need proper training. Not only does he do chores, but he takes care of the house, yard, and cars. On top of all that he holds a job, which is not something the 1950s housewife did. Ladies, you need to rethink the role of your husband in the marriage and expect more of him!

Below is a list that has been published from a 1950s High School Home Economic textbook on hoe to be a good house wife. I chuckled a little bit reading some of these, but I see many of these applying to my house husband.

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal — on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some Don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

Devotion Update

So we had one of our devotion nights the other day. I had my husband get naked and put on a studded collar and cuffs. I've not yet gotten him the devotion outfit that I described in my earlier post. For now I am satisfied with the basic slave look. His truth that he had to repeat while changing and several times during the evening was, "I am your slave husband now and forever."

I was delighted and amused to see that he had an erection simply from changing into his slave attire and repeating his truth. He spent a few minutes kissing my feet then I had him clean out and organize the closet in our extra bedroom that has collected a lot of clutter over the years. He did a fantastic job with this.

Next I had him get on all fours in front of the couch and I used him as a footstool while I read a book. I had him alternate between being on all fours and laying on his back so that I could rest my feet on his face or chest. His cock remained erect the entire time! Once done reading I teased his cock while he was still on all fours. I find this to be a great position for teasing because I can access his boy bits from both underneath and behind, which turns him to putty in my hands. I brought him to the edge of orgasm several times and had him begging for orgasm. This got me aroused too so I ordered onto his back on the floor. Then I sat on top of his face and queened him, with my legs pinning down his arms. I love this position because he is helpless beneath me and I can control the pace and can control exactly where he licks me. I also get a bit of a power rush by suffocating him with my sex. I have become very comfortable with riding his face hard when I queen him. It feels amazing for me and it drives him wild too! 

After my orgasm, he thanks me profusely for queening him because it is one of his favorite ways to worship me. I love that! Next, I order him to draw me a bath. He bathes me, dries me off, and then it is into the bedroom for a massage. Before massaging each foot, he kisses it and recites his truth. This is repeated for my legs, arms, calves, back, and ass. After he is done massaging me, he is trained to kneel by the bed until I release him. I lay for several minutes, enjoying the relaxation and peacefulness. Then I order him to fetch my pajamas. His cock is still hard and even a bit drippy. I hold his cock while he dresses me in my pajamas. He recites his truth three more times for me and then I tell him he can change out of his slave outfit and finish with his end of night chores. I happily drift off to sleep. It was a wonderful night of devotion.

I am happy to say that my husband's devotion mindset remains strong. He continues to keep the house clean without much direction from me and regularly checks in with me to see if there are other things he can do for me. I am lucky to have a wonderful devoted submissive husband and the devotion nights become his reward for his unfailing devotion to me. If you are not submissive or a new dominant to the lifestyle, this may be hard to understand. On the surface, what I described above appears to be all about me; but if you are submissive, you know that my devotion night is designed to bring my husband intense mind blowing submissive pleasures that he craves. It is reward for him.

-Mz Kaylee

The Power and Pleasure of ‘No’

 

‘No’ is a powerful word. When used it is an act of authority or an act of defiance. It is a word that almost always creates emotion and reaction in others.  It can make someone stressed, angry, happy, or even excited. For the dominant Female, ‘No’ should be viewed as a tool to use in exerting her control over her submissive partner.

My favorite use of the word is when Thomas asks for permission to orgasm. He only asks this question when he is fully-aroused and on the verge orgasm. For him to reach that point, he has spent several minutes enjoying the pleasure of my teasing, or if he is lucky, the pleasure of being inside of me. He has also spent the last part of those minutes struggling not to cum and struggling in his mind whether to ask for permission to orgasm or to try to hold onto the pleasure for a few seconds longer. When he has reached the point where he asks (or sometimes begs) for permission to orgasm, I know he is at his wits end and desperate for release and it so powerful and fun to simply say ‘No.’ One would think this response results in disappointment and frustration. Not in the case of my husband…well maybe sometimes that is the result, but most times the denial from me ignites his arousal even more and his body tenses and he struggles hard not to orgasm even though I have stopped touching him. Such fun and excitement for the both us.  I do believe Thomas enjoys the ‘No’ more than the ‘Yes.’ I sure hope so because he does not get many yes’s!

There are many obvious situations in which the dominant wife uses ‘No.’ You know those times- when he is whining, trying to get out of chores, or just asking stupid questions. No! No! and No! Each time you tell him ‘No,’ you are exerting your authority and tapping into his submission. I recommend that as the dominant partner, you purposely tell your husband ‘No’ from time to time, just to exert your power over him. For example, my husband needs to ask permission to go out with his friends. If he is not in good standing with me, he pretty much knows the answer is going to be no. It’s actually quite cute when he asks me half heartedly because he knows what I am going to say. That is power!  However, there are also times when he is in good standing and I still say ‘No’ simply to exert my power and remind him of his place at my feet. This brings disappointment for him and maybe even a twinge of anger but he knows not to react negatively or there will be consequences. This is all part of the deal and commitment he agreed to when he asked me to take control of him so long ago. Using the ‘No’ like this is, every now and then, is healthy and beneficial to the WLM. It reinforces your power over him and brings reality to his submission, which brings out deep submissive emotions within him. Some guys will feel the submissive rush instantly and may even get aroused on the spot. Other guys may experience feelings of anger but once the anger subsides, those submissive emotions arise after it sinks in that they are being controlled and dominated. Remember ladies, submissive guys crave the feeling of being controlled and dominated. The more real it is, the more exciting and long-lasting the rush. Telling them ‘No,’ making them work extra hard for you, and putting them under stress ever now and then, brings out their deep submissive emotions.

‘No’ can also be fun and sexy in the bedroom. Having him beg to pleasure you over and over again while you tell him no, can be fun. We all know that when you forbid something from someone, it makes them want it more. When, or if, you say ‘Yes,’ he will be so eager to please you. What’s even more fun is to tell him ‘No’ and then redirect him to something else.  For example, if he asks, “may I please lick your nipples,’ you can reply, ‘No, but you can get on your knees and kiss my feet.’ Once he complies, what I like to do is spout of additional orders before he can gather his thoughts. ‘good boy…..keep kissing them….put your hands behind your back…..that’s it….now kiss my thighs….” Using this technique is a great way to take complete control of him and keep him focused purely on pleasing you.

I hope this article has been thought provoking for you.  I challenge to tell your husband ‘No’ tonight and redirect him to serving you.  Please share his reaction and how things went.

-Mz Kaylee.

"Alone Time" For Couples

I believe that it is very important and beneficial for couples to spend quality alone time together. By this I mean time doing activities and talking with each other without kids, family, or friends present. The concept sounds simple, but many couples fail to do this. I am sure you know some people who never even transition into the married life after the say "I Do."  These are the ones that continue to maintain active social lives and hobbies separate from their spouse and put a higher value on those activities then spending time with their spouse. Those relationships are destined for failure unless something changes. 

Even those who start with great intentions and a love for doing things together can fall into the traps of being consumed by their job, consumed with raising kids, or consumed with a passionate hobby. Those are all very important aspects of life, but if you focus too much on one aspect or you neglect an important aspect of your life, then your life becomes out of balance. Sadly, often times a long-term consequence of this imbalance, is that a couple that was once in love, finds themselves drifting apart from each other and potentially on the verge of divorce years later. 

Life gets busy. That is inevitable. That is why it is important to plan time together so that you can stay connected and experience life together or re-connect as a couple and fall in love with each other all over again. A great benefit of the Wife Led Marriage (WLM) lifestyle, is that it creates many opportunities for alone time. My husband and I have many intimate times together on a weekly basis such as when he massages me or gives me a bath, when I do weekly reviews of his performance, or when he pleasures me. These are special times that we connect on a very intimate level and bond with each other. Prior to our WLM, we spent much less time on these types of activities. I've really enjoyed how the WLM has created these special moments for us and I feel strongly that it has brought us closer together and strengthened our marriage.

In addition to those moments, we also plan several getaways with each other each year. This is something that we did both pre and post WLM. When the kids were younger we would get a baby sitter for the weekend. These are typically overnight trips or long weekend trips. The types of getaways have ranged from a night at a nearby bed and breakfast to a weekend cruise. Most times we stayed within a few hours drive from home and explored the local town or went to a festival. No friends and no family- just us two. We also made it a point to be inward focused with each other during the getaway. In other words, we were not interested in socializing with others. We still engaged with people we encountered, but we kept it to a minimum. Yes, this was anti-social, but the point of the getaway was to connect with each other. 

On these trips, I pack our "toys" and some fetish gear and this always excites Thomas. Sometimes we use them and sometimes we don't. It all depended on my mood. I will confess that most times my inhibitions disappear and my inner dominatrix comes out on these trips. When I am away from home, it is easy to destress, forget about real life, and step into a fantasy world. On these getaways I am often pushing my sexual limits more than I am pushing his. It was on one of these trips that I first demanded that Thomas worship my ass with his tongue. That was so out of character for me at the time, but now it is something I do regularly. Thinking back over the years, I've realized that my comfort level and confidence in being dominant increased tremendously after these trips and so they have played an important part in shaping our WLM.

Although the getaways for us are sexually charged and concentrated on my authority and control over him, they are also an enjoyable time of hanging out together doing fun 'normal' activities. I find that on these trips we reconnect with each other on a deep intimate way, and we remember all the wonderful things about each other that made us fall in love so many years ago.

Whether you are in a traditional marriage or a WLM, I encourage you to do activities together and plan regular alone time together, including overnight getaways. It is so important to carve out time for each other no matter how busy life becomes.

-Mz Kaylee